Who Said It Was Gonna Be Easy?

"depends"

"on what?" he sat up and stretched his arms.

"will you moan my name when we have sex?"

"probably" he said quietly and his cheeks reddened.

"then yes" I grinned then kissed him again. As mad at him as I was, I couldn't bear to lose him again and that meant I had to forget my anger and put what he'd done behind us both.

"wait does that mean I'm going to be bottoming?" I could hear the fear in his voice.

"I don't mind. You can top if you want. I want you to be comfortable, ok?"

"mhm"

"but it doesn't really matter at the moment anyway"

"yeah.."

"anyway, you still need to tell me what happened. How could you just let me think you were dead?"

"I'm so sorry..I left my phone in my locker. I know it's really selfish and I'm sorry but I felt like I had to just cut myself off from everybody and everything..I think I'd have actually tried to kill myself if I hadn't. When I got beat up..it-it really knocked me back. I went to the bathroom and cut and purged and I really just wanted to die. I wished they'd not stopped beating me up, I wished they'd carried on until I died..I'm sorry..I just couldn't even...jack, I'm sorry, I didn't think about how you'd feel and then I saw your video and I felt so bad and I didn't know what to do..I felt sick to my stomach..I knew I had to stop and sort out what I'd done..I know I need to be strong for you and I'm going to do that now. I'm going to be strong for you again"

"lex..baby" I whispered, all choked up.

"shh..don't cry.." he cupped my face in his hands gently and used his thumbs to wipe away my tears. I closed my eyes to try and stop myself from crying. Alexs lips brushed mine, barely touching. I moved my hand to the back of his head, pushing it into his hair. I closed the gap between us, bringing his lips crushing down onto mine. I smiled as Alex kissed me straight away, opening his mouth slightly to allow me to push my tongue into his mouth. He pushed back against mine, soon making me gasp for air. I knotted my other hand into his hair and lay back down, pulling him down with me, kissing him again. He was over the top of me and I could tell he didn't want to put any of his body weight on me.

I broke off the kiss and got from under him, climbing off my bed. Alex sat up and watched me in confusion which is exactly what I'd wanted him to do. I quickly texted work to let them know I wouldn't be in because I was "sick" again then put some blink 182 on, quiet enough for it to be in the background then returned to where Alex was sat. I crawled up to him on the bed and kissed him, softly at first but then harder and rougher. I pushed him back down against the pillows and carried on kissing him. I absolutely despised being dominant but I figured we would never do anything if I left it to Alex to become dominant. it was up to me to make the first move and probably all the rest of the moves as well. I straddled him as we kissed, wondering just how far Alex would let me go. He seemed pretty enthusiastic with kissing me back but I wasn't sure he was ready to move on.

I moved to kiss his neck, loving the way he moaned when I nipped his skin with my teeth.

"jack..shit" he said breathlessly, his chest noticeably rising and falling. I chuckled and kissed him again. His hands grabbed my hips and pulled me down so that we were closer.

"missed you so fucking much" I whispered, in between rough, long kisses.

"I missed you too, baby" Alex whispered back before his hands slid under my top. I kissed him again and casually moved my hands to unbutton his pants. I felt him freeze beneath me and I could tell he was expecting me to try and go all the way with him.

"hey, it's okay, I'm not going too far, don't worry, baby. I know you're not ready for that yet" I said in a soft tone. He nodded and his cheeks tinged slightly pink. I sucked gently at the skin on his neck as I unzipped his jeans, hearing him moan.

"have you ever..y'know..bottom­ed?" he asked quietly.

"yeah..yeah, I have with...an ex"

"why the pause?"

"huh?"

"you said 'with....an ex', why did you pause?"

"I-uhh..I..I-can we please not talk about my ex when I'm just about to jerk you off? Kinda ruins the moment a bit" I said shiftily, praying Alex wouldn't notice and insist I tell him. He couldn't know that yet.

Notes

ok so hello I'm back! I'm really feeling no better but I've been keeping an eye on this story and it got onto the first page of popular stories yesterday but had slipped off it again and it made me feel like maybe you guys are getting annoyed with my lack of updates (I know this is probably not true but if it was, you wouldn't admit it anyway so yeah) so here I am.


that sounded so horrible I'm sorry aah



well anyway THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OVER 20 SUBSCRIBERS AND OVER 2000 VIEWS WOW


can you believe I nearly deleted this whole fic before I'd even uploaded any of it? I'm glad I didn't. you guys are amazing, I hope you carry on enjoying this fic as much as you seem to be