Sin

I was freaking out.

I haven't talked to Alex since he sent me that message. I couldn't believe his parents found out. At least, I'm sure that's whats happened. What if they took him out of school? What if they disown him? What if all hell breaks loose and they hurt him? Just, what if?

I hung out around his locker, waiting for him to show up. I was hoping he would at least. I mean, there is the whole “Alex's parents might have took him out of school” thing. I sighed and leaned again the metal wall of lockers. I was here stupidly early, hardly sleeping at all. I was busy feeling guilty and hurt that this might all be forced to an end.

“J-jack?” I heard a voice say, and I looked down to see that Stump kid.
“Oh, hey Patrick.” I smiled. “What's up?”
“Just um, take this.” He handed me a piece of paper, but before leaving he smiled. “By the way, I kinda owe you one for getting Jon off my back, so if you and Alex ever need an alibi. I'm in.”

With that he scurried off and I tilted my head watching him go before unfolding the paper.

Meet me in the fourth floor bathroom. Don't wanna risk getting caught together at school. -Alex

I smiled, and crushed up the paper, shoving it into my pocket before heading off. Looking around, there wasn't anyone really in the hallway so I figured I was safe from an possible parent spies. I quickly made my way up the stairs, and looked for the bathroom I know Alex is talking about. It's never used by anyone, we hung out there one time when I convinced him that math wasn't as important as making out with me. Course, that only worked once.

“Alex?” I asked, peeking into the bathroom with missing stall doors and writing all over the walls.
“Jack!” Alex appeared from behind the stalls, where the sinks where, and pulled me into a hug. “I'm sorry about all this.”
“It's fine.” I said, hugging him even tighter back and kissing his head. “So, they found out, didn't they?”
“Yeah...” He mumbled into my shirt before looking up, looking upset. “They yelled and screamed at me, and the person who told them was a friend from church, so now the whole damn Catholic community knows and I kept getting dirty looks on Sunday. Pretty sure the priest made a reference to me in his teachings too, something about how it's never to late to go back when you 'fall from the path of God.' It's so dumb, I don't understand how they could do this to me. I used to be so simple an mindless, I've never been happier before you and now-”
“Shush,” I interrupted, watching Alex's eyes fill with tears was too much for me. I puled him back into my embrace. “It will be okay, baby.”
“I-i know.” He sniffed. “I managed to stop them from pulling me out of school though.”
“How?”
“I uh, told them I wouldn't see them anymore?” he said, and I let go and looked at him.
“What?!” I asked, outraged.
“I-i told them I would never see you again as long as they kept me in school.”
“So..so we can't see each other anymore?”
“No, I mean, we can keep it on the down low and just-”
“This was what Patrick was talking about giving us an alibi.” I said, feeling my heart drop. “We won't be able to see each other much anymore, will we?”
“At least is better than nothing at all.”
“Lex, I want to spend every waking moment with you, how the hell am I supposed to handle only seeing you at school and sneaking around? Your parent's guards are going to be up all the time now. What happens if they find out?”
“Jack, it will be okay. We can-”
“I don't know if I can.” I sighed, clenching my fists. “I already fucked us up...”
“What makes you think its your fault?”
“I'm always so..so public about us.” I said, feeling defeated.
“Jack, please, just...just try this.” He said, grabbing my hands. I bit my lip and looked away.
“I'll think about it.” I said.

I pulled my hands away from his, all intentions of leaving anf heading to class which probably started soon. I turned for a moment, unsure of how to take all this, but at the last moment I turned back around. Grabbing Alex by the waist, I caught him off guard and pressed our lips together. This may be the last time we kiss for awhile or...ever. I made it worth while, running my hands into his hair, taking over the cavern with my tongue, making sure to taste every inch and remember it.

We only pulled away when the bell went off and I gave Alex one last small peck before walking out.

“Jack, are you fucking retarded!?” Rian yelled when I told him why I was so quiet and upset at school. “You can totally still be with Alex, you're making this harder than it is.”
“I don't want some sneaky relationship. I want him to come over without worrying about his parents calling or driving by. I want him to be at our shows so I can dedicate songs to him. I want to kiss him, hold his hand, make out, touch his butt-”
“Jack!”
“In public.” I finished. “I just, I don't know if I can handle us only seeing each other at school.”
“There will be opportunities to meet him outside school.” Rian assured, patting my back.
“Yeah, far in between each time.” I snorted.
“So, what. You're gonna go back to the way you were?”
“No...”
“You're gonna sit here every day and miserable?”
“....no.”
“Then fucking talk to Alex tomorrow and give this shit a chance before you run from it.” Rian demanded. “I love you, bro. But you're fucking stupid sometimes.”

I sighed and shrugged.

“I'll talk to him tomorrow....”

I was waiting in the fourth floor bathroom again, having shoved a note into Alex's locker in hopes that he doesn't hate me. I was leaning against the wall, staring at the ceiling as I thought about how stupid this was. Why did his parents have to be super religious? Why does religion even say homosexuality is wrong? Surely if God is so damn perfect he would not make the mistake of making dudes like each other.

“Jack?” Alex's voice broke my thoughts and I looked up to see him stepping into the bathroom.
“Hey, Princess.” I smiled. “So...um, I just wanna talk about everything...”
“Oh?” He asked, looking worried. “Okay...”
“Well, first. I'm sorry for how I acted before.” Alex's eyes snapped to mine the moment I got those words out.
“Wait. What?”
“Yeah,” I smiled. “It was stupid of me to be so negative about your idea. I wanna...I want to give it a try.”
“Really?” He asked and I nodded.
“I don't wanna lose you. I might as well be thankfully for what I can get.”
“Thanks Jack.” He smiled, and stepped closer to wrap his arms around me. “I promise it won't be forever. One day we can be together without a care about what anyone thinks of it.”
“I know,” I hugged him back, burying my face in his hair. “I know...”
“We can do this. I know we can.” He said, pulling away to look up at me.

Notes

Parents are evil.