Alex

Things were kind of awkward after the argument we had about Jon, and when I saw him at school on Monday, he was acting really weird. He was being all huffy with me and grumpy, moaning at the fact that I said to Rian that he wasn't my boyfriend...because he wasn't. He never officially asked me out, and I wouldn't have the guys to do it. So we were in some kind of middle ground where we liked each other and made out, sort of like friends with benefits, but without the intimacy. I'm not ready for that, no way.

It was the following Sunday afternoon; I'd been to church already, done my Art project and I'd went back upstairs to take a nap, and half way through a pretty decent dream I was woken up by my phone ringing on my nightstand.

"Ello?" I asked groggily, rubbing my eyes.

"Hi Alex!" I heard Rian exclaim into the phone, followed by Zack yelling "Bro!"

I knotted my eyebrows together and sat up in my bed. "Zack? Rian?"

"And me, Princess." I heard Jack chuckle.

"I was napping," I pouted, grouchy that they'd woken me up, "What do you want? You know I can't hang today."

"We know," Rian said quickly, "but we have to ask you something."

I sat on the side of my bed, hanging my legs over the edge, "Shoot."

"How would you..." Zack started, and I could tell that he was smiling down the phone. "Like to officially be a part of our band?"

"Oh." I felt like my gut had his the floor and I ran a hand shakily through hair, trying to figure out what to say. "I mean, umm..."

"Come on, don't be shy!" Zack laughed.

"You're amazing at singing! With you, we can finally do live shows!" Rian said excitedly.

"Whattya say, Lex? Come on."

This was probably the worst question they could have asked, and I didn't really want to answer it if I was being quite honest. I mean, sure, it was fun practicing with them an hanging out, but it's hardly a career, is it? I already have my future sorted out, Colleges selected, my path already chosen. As much as I love playing music, it's not going to pay the bills.

"No. I-I can't." I quickly said and then hung up, not wanting to hear their response.

This is was more than likely to turn around and bite me on the butt, it would give Jack another reason to get all moody with me. But I mean, c'mon, this is our futures we're talking about here. I know Jack has his heart set on being a musician, and he's really talented, but it won't happen. I know it sounds mean, and I'd never say it to his face, but it's the truth. It a tough industry to get into, an I don't want to waste my time chasing someone else's dream.

After the call I went downstairs and made myself some pasta before texting Patrick and asking him to meet me in the park because I could really use someone to talk to after I briefly explained what happened. When I got there, he was already sat on a swing, the same way Jack was when we first came here together and shared our first kiss. I sighed at the memory an made my way over and sat on the grass in front of him, twirling a few blades between my fingers.

"Do you think I'm being selfish?" I asked, not taking my eyes off of the ground.

"No, you're being realistic. And as soon as Jack realises that the better."

"I know but he was really excited about it..."

"Excited or not, he can't make you do anything you don't want to do," he shrugged. "And besides, you need to get your grades for college, you're nearly falling behind as it is."

He was right. He always was. The more time I spent around Jack, Rian and Zack, the more distracted I was becoming, I had less time to do my homework if Jack wasn't with me asking for help.

"Hey, uh, Patrick? What are we? Me and Jack, I mean." I asked, changing the subject.

"What do you mean?"

"Like, last weekend when I stayed around Zack's Rian was joking around saying Jack was my boyfriend, and I said that he wasn't...we just make out sometimes and like each other, but Jack got really pissy about it when Rian told him."

"I dunno," he shrugged, "Jack's a weird one, as far as I'm aware he's never been this serious with anyone, so maybe he just kinda, well, assumes."

"Do you think I should ask him out officially?" I asked, now looking up at him for the first time since I got here.

"Are you really ready to say that you have a boyfriend?"

"I don't know," I admitted, "I've never been in a relationship either."

Patrick just smiled at me in understanding and I stood up, telling him that I needed to go home and think about all of this properly.

Because boy, oh boy, I have a lot of thinking to do.

Notes

Patrick's back!