Sin

“Jack?”

I looked up at the sound of my name, and turned to find Alex walking towards me. I scrunched my brows, unsure of why he was here or how even he might of known I was...

“What are you doing here?”
“Rian called me, told me to find you.” He said, sounding a little annoyed. “Are you seriously this mad cause I left you and your boyfriend alone?”
“This isn't because of you,” I mumbled. “And Brendon is not my boyfriend.”
“Right, so why'd he kiss you then?” Alex asked, sitting on the swing next to me.
“Does that really matter right now?” I snapped. “What do you want?”
“Rian told me to stop you from doing something stupid.” He looked down, seeing the three packs of cigarettes I managed to go through on the ground. “Did you seriously smoke all those.”
“Yes Alex, I smoke when I'm stressed, alright? Ever noticed I didn't ever ask you to smoke those? Cause they fucking suck.” I growled out, stomping on one of the boxes.

“What's wrong?” Alex asked after a few moments of silence. I didn't answer and he kicked my foot. “If it's not me, then why the hell did you run off and make Rian worry? Why would he be worried?”
“Because,” I started, “I've had issues with my family, alright? Why do you think I live with Rian?”
“Oh...” Alex said, looking like he was sorry.
“Yeah, oh.” I repeated.
“What's wrong with your family?” He asked quietly, looking up at me.

“Well, my mom ran off with some other guy, leaving my dad with my brother, my sister, and me. Joe was like, twenty, and moved out. May was graduating from high school and I was just starting out middle school. Joe stopped talking to us, Dad put in more hours at work, and May was always busy with her friends or something. I was left home alone a lot, and I felt like no one even cared about me any more so I started act out. I stopped going to school all the time, I made bad friends, I started smoking. May moved out and by high school I was drinking. I lost my virginity to some senior girl my freshman year, I experimented my sophomore and realized I kind of like both genders. My dad was sick of getting calls about me. He started to yell, no, scream at me every night he came home. If I was even there. I yelled at him back telling him he never gave a shit. He told me he was going to kick me out and I just walked out the door telling him I'd save him the fucking trouble.”

I took a deep breath, hating how all this was easily falling off my tongue. How the emotions were tearing me apart all over again. I was waiting for Alex to tell me I was dumb for acting out. For starting all this shit. That he never wanted to speak to me.

Instead, I heard the swing next me jingle and Alex was pushing himself against me, hugging my torso tightly.

“I'm sorry...I didn't know.” He mumbled into my hoodie, and I was shocked for a moment.
“It's not your fault. Like you said. You didn't know.”
“Still..”
“At least you know now, right?” I smiled, trying to make it better.
“I guess...” He said, then after a moment. “Jack?”
“Yeah?” I asked, looking down at his form.
“I'm also sorry for running off earlier, I just...didn't like seeing you and Brendon kissing like that.”
“I know, homosexuality is a sin and all that.” I grumbled, and Alex shook his head.
“No, it wasn't like that... I mean, it just bugged me and umm...” Alex stuttered out pulling back and looking at me like he was worried of me getting the wrong idea.

I looked back at him, watching him try to explain himself and I thought back to what Rian said. Do you like him or something? I blinked, takin in Alex's features. I always knew he was a cute kid, hell, I'm pretty sure I wanted to get a hold of his body before for all the wrong reasons. But now...

“How did it feel?” I asked, stopping Alex's broken speech.
“W-what?”
“See Brendon kiss me, what did you feel?” I asked again, staring at him intensely.
“Like...like someone hit me in the gut and I knew I didn't want to be there.” He answered quickly.
“Hey Alex?”
“Yeah?”
“Don't move.” I mumbled.

Not breaking eye contact, I slowly moved my hands to his waist, holding on slightly. Alex looked at me confused and obliviously a little frightened. It was weird seeing him be a little taller than me, seeing as I was still on a swing, but he had been doing his hair correctly. Right now his bangs were falling in a way that framed his face, haloing it with a background of the first stars of the night.

“J-jack?” He mumbled out after it started to be quiet for so long.
“Shush...”

I closed my eyes, trying to decide if this was a good idea or not. Opening them again, seeing Alex's concerned face, and I had my answer. Taking a leap of face, I pulled Alex closer moving one hand to the back of his head and leaning up to meet him.

Notes

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

CAN I GET A FRICK YEAH?