All My Heart
I will try (Zack POV)
Zack POV
I sighed and looked at the blank white paper and the pen in front of me, silently waiting for me to touch them. I wanted to write a letter to Alex. About how I missed him. It was going to be Christmas tomorrow and I wanted nothing more than to have him back as a present.
Ever since the dumb decision I had made which was to break up with him two weeks ago, I had been heartbroken. We had been together for a year. Breaking up had been the cause for the worst two weeks of my life.
The reason for the break-up had been a silly little thing. Alex had used my workout equipment at his place without asking; but it had somehow escalated and we had ended up screaming at each other until I had stormed out after telling him he would be single from now on.
But the thing was; I was not sure about him being supposed to be single anymore. I wanted to be with him and I was going to get him back. For Christmas.
I was normally not the type of guy who wrote love letters, pouring out his heart. Actually, Jack had gotten me to do this after I had been crying on him for a week. But it had taken me one more week to get together the courage to do this.
I stared at the white paper, willing it to inspire me, maybe to even write the letter itself. But nothing. I started chewing on my lip but an idea started forming in my head.
“Dear Alex, Baltimore, the 24th of December, 2013
There’s so many things that I could say, but I’m sure it would come out all wrong. But you got something that I can’t explain. I’ll still try and let you know.
You are special to me in so many ways. Remember that first summer we spent, talking all night? Remember how I’d ask “You think we’d ever make it?” and you always replied with “I’m sure if it’s right”.
There were so many times when I wasn’t strong enough for you and me; I just want you to make me okay again, like you always did. I wish I could make certain things undone.
I know people talked about us and it was not easy for you with them, but I want you to remember how we laughed at the thought they don’t know what we‘ve got.
Every year that goes by, a year older we are. You’ll still be beautiful then, bless your beautiful heart. You will always be beautiful to me.
How crazy is it that someone could waste their whole life helplessly waiting for a love like you and me?
I will wait for you, if I have to wait until the end of the world. I still can’t believe you were mine but I was stupid enough to let you go.
You still have all of my heart. And you always will.
Yours,
Zack”
I put down the pen. A tear fell from my eye, I hadn’t even noticed I was crying. It fell right on the paper, staining my handwriting. Hastily, I got out a tissue and wiped it up. Still - the memory of a tear remained.
I put it in an envelope and wrote “Alex” on the front. I was ready. Ready to get him back.
I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. The man that stared back looked incredibly tired and pale. I had deep circles under my eyes and my skin was ashen. My hair, albeit short, somehow managed to stand up in all directions. I tried to smoothen it a bit by applying water to it but it didn’t help and I gave up.
I put on a pair of jeans and what I knew to be the t-shirt Alex liked most on me, a dark red, somewhat tight one. To hide my hair, I put on a grey beanie, only a bit of hair peeking out. I added a sky-blue sweater, my coat, combat boots and was good to go.
I drove to Jack’s place first to tell him about my plan. He was very excited, maybe even more than I was. But he suggested I should write a song for Alex. We both knew Alex loved things like this and I decided to take his advice. So I drove back to my place again, grabbed my acoustic guitar and got started.
The lyrics didn’t take long to write; I was amazed by how easy it was. Talking about how I was feeling got easier and easier. I took a lot of the things I had written in my letter to put into the song and when I was done, I got started on the guitar part. I was not that hard but I found myself starting to cry twice at the thought of what would be if Alex didn’t like it. But I pushed away these thoughts, telling myself that worrying wouldn’t get me anywhere.
When I was satisfied with my song, I packed up and left for the second time.
When I arrived at Alex’s place, I sat in the car for a bit more. I tried to calm my nerves by having a mint and breathing deeply. It was already 4.30 pm and the sun was setting; the perfect lighting for my plan.
I got out my guitar and studied the notes for the song once more before I left the warmth of my car and stepped out onto the crunchy white that was Alex’s front lawn. I reached up to the glass of his window to knock. I didn’t have to wait for too long before he opened it and looked at me with an expression that looked tired and sad but also surprised. I threw the letter up to him and it luckily landed right in his hands.
I started strumming and soon added my voice. I hit every note.
“There's so many things that I could say
But I'm sure it would come out all wrong
You got something that I can't explain
Still try and try and let you know
That first summer we spent's one we'll never forget,
Looking for any kind of reason to escape all the mess that
We thought was what made us
Ain't it funny now? We can see
We're who we're meant to be
You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart
Ooh ooh ooh oooh...
There's too many times I have to say
I could have been better and stronger for you and me
You always make me feel okay
Those late summers we spent, stay up talking all night
I'd ask "you think we'd ever make it?"
You'd say "I'm sure if it's right"
Ain't it funny to think just how stupid I used to be
Hope you always believe
You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart
You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart
Let them talk and talk and talk
Let them say what they want
We will laugh at the thought they don't know what we've got
Every year that goes by, a year older we are
You'll still be beautiful then, bless your beautiful heart
They'll talk and talk and talk
How crazy is it?
Someone could waste their whole life, helplessly,
Just patiently waiting for a love like you and me
You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart
You still have all of my heart
You still have all of my (you still have all of my heart)
You still have all of my (you still have all of my heart)
You still have all of my heart (you still have all of my heart)
You still have all of my (I've been waiting my whole life)
You still have all of my
(For someone to save me still can't believe that you're mine)
You still have all of my heart”
I let the last chord ring and looked up into his eyes. He looked at me blankly.
“Alex, I love you. You still have all my heart. I am sorry. I want nothing more than to have you back.” With this said, I left.
I sighed and looked at the blank white paper and the pen in front of me, silently waiting for me to touch them. I wanted to write a letter to Alex. About how I missed him. It was going to be Christmas tomorrow and I wanted nothing more than to have him back as a present.
Ever since the dumb decision I had made which was to break up with him two weeks ago, I had been heartbroken. We had been together for a year. Breaking up had been the cause for the worst two weeks of my life.
The reason for the break-up had been a silly little thing. Alex had used my workout equipment at his place without asking; but it had somehow escalated and we had ended up screaming at each other until I had stormed out after telling him he would be single from now on.
But the thing was; I was not sure about him being supposed to be single anymore. I wanted to be with him and I was going to get him back. For Christmas.
I was normally not the type of guy who wrote love letters, pouring out his heart. Actually, Jack had gotten me to do this after I had been crying on him for a week. But it had taken me one more week to get together the courage to do this.
I stared at the white paper, willing it to inspire me, maybe to even write the letter itself. But nothing. I started chewing on my lip but an idea started forming in my head.
“Dear Alex, Baltimore, the 24th of December, 2013
There’s so many things that I could say, but I’m sure it would come out all wrong. But you got something that I can’t explain. I’ll still try and let you know.
You are special to me in so many ways. Remember that first summer we spent, talking all night? Remember how I’d ask “You think we’d ever make it?” and you always replied with “I’m sure if it’s right”.
There were so many times when I wasn’t strong enough for you and me; I just want you to make me okay again, like you always did. I wish I could make certain things undone.
I know people talked about us and it was not easy for you with them, but I want you to remember how we laughed at the thought they don’t know what we‘ve got.
Every year that goes by, a year older we are. You’ll still be beautiful then, bless your beautiful heart. You will always be beautiful to me.
How crazy is it that someone could waste their whole life helplessly waiting for a love like you and me?
I will wait for you, if I have to wait until the end of the world. I still can’t believe you were mine but I was stupid enough to let you go.
You still have all of my heart. And you always will.
Yours,
Zack”
I put down the pen. A tear fell from my eye, I hadn’t even noticed I was crying. It fell right on the paper, staining my handwriting. Hastily, I got out a tissue and wiped it up. Still - the memory of a tear remained.
I put it in an envelope and wrote “Alex” on the front. I was ready. Ready to get him back.
I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. The man that stared back looked incredibly tired and pale. I had deep circles under my eyes and my skin was ashen. My hair, albeit short, somehow managed to stand up in all directions. I tried to smoothen it a bit by applying water to it but it didn’t help and I gave up.
I put on a pair of jeans and what I knew to be the t-shirt Alex liked most on me, a dark red, somewhat tight one. To hide my hair, I put on a grey beanie, only a bit of hair peeking out. I added a sky-blue sweater, my coat, combat boots and was good to go.
I drove to Jack’s place first to tell him about my plan. He was very excited, maybe even more than I was. But he suggested I should write a song for Alex. We both knew Alex loved things like this and I decided to take his advice. So I drove back to my place again, grabbed my acoustic guitar and got started.
The lyrics didn’t take long to write; I was amazed by how easy it was. Talking about how I was feeling got easier and easier. I took a lot of the things I had written in my letter to put into the song and when I was done, I got started on the guitar part. I was not that hard but I found myself starting to cry twice at the thought of what would be if Alex didn’t like it. But I pushed away these thoughts, telling myself that worrying wouldn’t get me anywhere.
When I was satisfied with my song, I packed up and left for the second time.
When I arrived at Alex’s place, I sat in the car for a bit more. I tried to calm my nerves by having a mint and breathing deeply. It was already 4.30 pm and the sun was setting; the perfect lighting for my plan.
I got out my guitar and studied the notes for the song once more before I left the warmth of my car and stepped out onto the crunchy white that was Alex’s front lawn. I reached up to the glass of his window to knock. I didn’t have to wait for too long before he opened it and looked at me with an expression that looked tired and sad but also surprised. I threw the letter up to him and it luckily landed right in his hands.
I started strumming and soon added my voice. I hit every note.
“There's so many things that I could say
But I'm sure it would come out all wrong
You got something that I can't explain
Still try and try and let you know
That first summer we spent's one we'll never forget,
Looking for any kind of reason to escape all the mess that
We thought was what made us
Ain't it funny now? We can see
We're who we're meant to be
You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart
Ooh ooh ooh oooh...
There's too many times I have to say
I could have been better and stronger for you and me
You always make me feel okay
Those late summers we spent, stay up talking all night
I'd ask "you think we'd ever make it?"
You'd say "I'm sure if it's right"
Ain't it funny to think just how stupid I used to be
Hope you always believe
You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart
You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart
Let them talk and talk and talk
Let them say what they want
We will laugh at the thought they don't know what we've got
Every year that goes by, a year older we are
You'll still be beautiful then, bless your beautiful heart
They'll talk and talk and talk
How crazy is it?
Someone could waste their whole life, helplessly,
Just patiently waiting for a love like you and me
You still have all of my
You still have all of my
You still have all my heart
You still have all of my heart
You still have all of my (you still have all of my heart)
You still have all of my (you still have all of my heart)
You still have all of my heart (you still have all of my heart)
You still have all of my (I've been waiting my whole life)
You still have all of my
(For someone to save me still can't believe that you're mine)
You still have all of my heart”
I let the last chord ring and looked up into his eyes. He looked at me blankly.
“Alex, I love you. You still have all my heart. I am sorry. I want nothing more than to have you back.” With this said, I left.
