Chapter 25

Alex’s POV

“HOLY FUCK!” I yelled, almost dropping my phone.

“What? What’s wrong?” Jack asked, getting panicky.

“I won the music thing.”

His jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

“Yes!” I handed him the phone and he scanned the email.

“Oh my god!” He exclaimed, hugging me tightly. “Lex, I’m so proud of you!”

I didn’t reply. Do I want this as much as I think I do? Or do I want a relaxing future with Jack? I asked myself.

“Lex? You okay?” Jack asked.

“I’m not sure if I want this.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m just not sure. I don’t know if I want a future of fame or a quiet future with you.”

“Well, think about it. You’ve got another two weeks to think.”

I nodded and smiled at him, kissing his nose. “Thanks.”

“Anytime.”

~~~
(Two days later)

“Alex!” I heard someone call from behind me as I walked past Jack’s class after school. He had grading to do, so I left him alone.

I turned around and saw Cass running towards me. I sighed and turned back around, walking away. “Alex, wait.” She pleaded.

I stopped and turned again. “What should I wait for? Should I wait for you to draw me back in? Should I wait for you to break my heart again? Should I wait for you to come to my house every day to make out with my brother when you know exactly how much it hurts me just to think about you? Fuck you, Cassadee.” I said angrily. I don’t know what had brought this on. I hadn’t had the best day or anything, but I didn’t often get this worked up.

“Please just hear me out.”

“I don’t want to hear you out! Last time I heard you out it was over text and you were ending our friendship.” I spat.

“Please don’t get mad at me, I just want to talk.”

“I don’t want to fucking talk Cassadee! I want you to leave me the fuck alone!”

“I’m not going to do that, Alex!” She yelled, surprising me into silence. She never yelled. “Just fucking hear what I have to say!”

“Fine! Shoot. Right now, say whatever the hell it is you want to say to me. It’s not going to get me to be your friend again.”

“Can we go somewhere else?”

I rolled my eyes. “Fine. We’re going to the park.” I commanded, turning and walking out to my car. Apparently she expected a ride, because she got in with me. I didn’t want her there, but I didn’t stop her.

I turned the key once before the engine died and I decided to just get out now. I opened the hood and readjusted some things before getting back in and starting it. We drove in silence to the park, listening to The Maine on the way there.

We reached the park and I got out in silence, Cass following me to the swings, where we sat down and just sort of gently swung back and forth. “What do you have to say.” I demanded to know.

“I’m sorry, Lex. I’m so sorry.”

“Sorry is just a word. It might have a specific meaning, but it doesn’t make everything better. Do you even know what you did to me? You ended our friendship on a day when Jack and I were in a fight over you, I got a bad grade on a test, Tom had been a bitch to me, Anarbor tickets had sold out, and I felt like I had nobody in this world. I felt so alone it’s not even describable.”

“I’m really sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m lost without you babe, please forgive me.”

“Don’t call me babe.” I said coldly. “I’m not forgiving you just yet. You’ve kissed me twice now when I was with Jack and it could have hurt our relationship. You’re damn lucky it didn’t. I participated in one of those kisses, but it still was wrong and I regret it. Another reason we’re not going to be friends again is that you like me. As more than what we used to be. I can’t be friends with someone who could potentially make a move on me when I’m with Jack.”

“I’m sorry I kissed you the other day.”

“Yeah, you caused me an anxiety attack on my date with Jack and I almost passed out. Thanks.” I said, sarcastic and bitter.

“I did? I’m so sorry, Lex. I miss you so much and I just want to be your friend again. Give me one more chance, please. I’m begging you.” She pleaded.

“I can’t do that, Cass!” I exclaimed. “Why aren’t you getting that? I can’t trust you! You aren’t giving me any reasons to forgive you other than I’m sorry’s and I miss you’s! I have my reasons for not letting you back in. You’re a potential threat to Jack and I, you broke my heart, you dated my brother when you knew I would only get upset over seeing you at my house all the time, you were what started the fight between Jack and I which caused him to fucking cut him-“ My eyes widened and my hand flew to cover my mouth. “Fuck.” I whispered against the skin. I wasn’t supposed to say that.

“Jack cut himself?” Cass asked, shocked.

“No. No he didn’t.” I tried to fix it.

“You just said he did!”

“Shut the fuck up Cassadee. I swear to god if you tell anyone I will kill you.”

“Why were you guys fighting over me?”

“He didn’t like that you and I were so close. End of story. We didn’t talk for a little bit and he got upset, thinking I was breaking up with him, so he cut himself. If you tell anyone or write it down anyone, I swear to god I will fucking destroy you. I wasn’t supposed to tell you that and no one else is to know. Got it?” I said sternly.

“Oh my god, I made someone cut themselves?”

“You made me cut myself too, in case you don’t remember. You were cut 155 and 156?” I reminded her.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I had done those things to you and Jack.”

“You did. I can’t forgive you for that. You made my boyfriend lose blood because of you.”

“What can I do to make you forgive me?”

“Stay away from me.”

“Something other than that. Something to possibly make us friends again?”

“Cassadee. You honestly expect me to forgive you? In case you forgot, I heard what you and Kellin said about me. That I was weak, gay, emo. It may have been his words, but you agreed. I can’t just forgive you for that! I thought about suicide! I considered jumping right out into the traffic and letting a car run over me. I thought about it, but Jack made me not do it. He’s the very reason I’m alive.”

I actually just realized that. Jack is the reason I’m here on earth. Why hadn’t I seen that before? I felt like I wasn’t showing him enough appreciation suddenly.

“I’m glad you have Jack. I’d rather be in his position, but I’m not. And I didn’t think you would hear us. I’m really sorry Alex.”

I sighed and stood up. “Sorry Cass. But I’m not forgiving you.” I said before walking back towards my car and driving home.
I called Jack. I’m sure he was done grading now. “Hey baby.” He answered.

“Hey.” I sighed.

“You okay?”

“I think. Cass and I just had a conversation consisting of her apologizing a billion times and wanting me back and me rejecting her.”

“Oh, I’m sorry babe, want me to come over?”

I nodded, then remembered he couldn’t see me. “Yeah, that’d be great.”

“Okay, see you in a few.” He hung up. I ended my side of the call and cleaned my room up a little. He came by in about fifteen minutes.

I opened the door and pulled him inside by the front of his shirt, immediately kissing him long and hard. I broke away after a good minute or so and walked into the kitchen, tossing him a bottle of water. “So what the hell was that?” He asked, talking about the kiss.

I shrugged. “Just wanted to show you I love you.”

“I know you love me. But it seemed like you were trying to prove something to either me or yourself. So what?”

I sighed. “When Cass and I were talking, I realized that you saved my life. I just feel like I haven’t been showing you enough affection lately. Like I should be showing more appreciation for you because without you, I’d be dead. No doubt. I would be buried in the ground right now if it weren’t for you. I just don’t think I’m expressing how grateful I am for you enough.”

He smiled softly and walked forward, putting his hands on my hips and pressing them together. “I know how much you love me. You don’t need to prove it. I’m glad I saved your life. But you show me plenty of affection and appreciation. The perfect amount. Any more and I might think you’re clingy. You’re perfect, Lex. I love you for you and you don’t need to prove that you love me other than sleeping with me and saying it every so often. Okay?”

I smiled. “Okay. And yes, I really do love you. I’ll never be able to express just how much I love you though.”

“I think I have a little idea.”

“Oh?”

He smirked and kissed me gently. “Like so.”

“More than that.”

“Frisky, are we now Gaskarth?”

“You’ll never know, Barakat.” I said smugly before pulling away and going upstairs with him on my heels.

We sat on my bed together, not far apart, but not touching. “What are you thinking about the Hopeless thing?” Jack asked.

I sighed. “I don’t know if it’s what I want yet. Maybe later in life, but not yet. I think I just want to lay low for now and keep the peace with me and you instead of potentially have to spend time apart if I was to get big enough for tour.”

Jack smiled at me. “Whatever you think is right.”

“I think this is right. Right now. Just you and I, no drama, no paparazzi, no cameras, no crazy fans. I want this for a while. If I want to become famous, then I’ll reconsider. But for now, I want to keep to myself and you.”

Jack pressed his lips to my temple. “You’re so sweet.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes you are. I’m not letting you say you aren’t because you are.”

“Fine.”

“Good.” He grinned and put his arm around my shoulders. “What time is it?”

“Around 10:30.”

“What day is it?”

“Friday.”

“Yay, we can stay up late.”

We did stay up late. We talked about Cass and I’s talk, I sang some, and then Tom came home and into my room. “Hey Lex, hey Jack.”

“Hi Tom.” We greeted as he sat on the end of the bed. “What’s up?” I asked.

“I think that Issy wants to date me again.”

“Why do you think that?”

“Because she’s been trying to talk to me and being all flirty and such.”

“Do you want to date her again?” Jack asked.

“Not really. I can’t trust her.”

“Déjà vu.” I laughed. “Cass and I had a similar conversation today.”

“Oh, sorry, that must have sucked.” Tom said.

“Sucked dick.”

Jack laughed immaturely, I’m sure thinking about the time he gave me a blowjob. I smacked his chest. “Perv.”

“Ew, are you guys talking about sucking each others dick?” Tom said with a grossed out look on his face.”

“Okay, I’ve never sucked his dick, he’s sucked mine.” I explained.

“Didn’t need to know that.”

“Now you do.”

“Unfortunately. Anyway, I’m going to go to bed, I’ll see you in the morning. Night.”

“Night.” Jack and I said together. “Are you tired yet?” Jack asked.

“A little bit. Not ready to go to bed. What about you?”

“I’m pretty tired. I think I’m going to go to sleep.”

“Okay, night baby. Love you.”

“Love you too.” He rolled over away from me and closed his eyes. “Night.” He yawned.

I got up and exited the room, flipping the light off behind me so he could sleep. “Tom, I’m going for a walk around the block.” I said.

“Okay, take your phone since Jack and I are going to bed.” He mumbled.

“Alright.” I grabbed my phone and left, making sure I was wearing white so people could see me in the dark.

I put my phone in my pocket and started off around the block. It was really late, like 1:45am.

As I was walking down the street right next to mine, I heard a motorcycle coming down the road. I didn’t think much of it, until it stopped next to me and the guy leapt off, slashing my arm with a knife, then getting back on and speeding away.

“Gah!” I yelled, blood oozing from the large cut. I tried to get my phone, but it had fallen out when he had slashed me and was out in the middle of the road as another motorcycle came along. I ran between two houses to avoid getting cut again.

There was a lot of blood. I wouldn’t be able to make it home in time without losing too much blood. I went to my last resort: Cassadee.

I staggered my way to her house, ringing the doorbell a billion times before she finally came to the door, wearing only pajamas and looking mad and exhausted.

“Please help me.” I whispered, removing my hand from the deep cut.

Her eyes widened. “Oh, holy hell!” She exclaimed, letting me in and leading me to the kitchen. “MOM!” She yelled. “Alex, how the hell did this happen? Where’s Jack?”

“At my house, asleep. I was on a walk and some guy came along and just cut my arm for no reason.”

Her mom came down the stairs, clearly unhappy. “What do you need, Cass?”

“Alex is hurt really bad, get something to help him.” Cass replied, getting a beach towel and pressing it to the cut. “Take off your shirt.” She demanded.

I took it off, not caring if she liked me or if she didn’t. Her mom was getting something to help, what, I have no clue. I hissed at the towel came in contact with the cut again.

“Shh, it’s fine babe.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Sorry.”

Her mom came running back and pushed Cass out of the way, wrapping thick gauze around my upper arm and taping it in place securely, then curling medical wrapping around it to make sure if stayed. I started feeling light headed at the loss of blood and put my head between my knees.

“Do you want some pain medication, honey?” Mrs. Pope asked. I nodded and she got me some. I drank it with some water.

“Fuck.” I whispered, thinking about my phone in the street.

“Alex, language dear.” Her mom scolded.

“I’m sorry. I just realized I left my phone in the middle of the street.”

“Cass, go get it for him.”

She nodded and ran outside, coming back a minute later with my phone. It wasn’t broken, thank god. I called my house, praying I woke either Tom or Jack up. The voicemail came on and I tried again and again until Tom picked up.

“Who the fuck are you and why are you calling at 2:15am?” He grumbled.

“It’s Alex. There’s been a little incident and I’m at Cass’s house, I might be home later on. Okay?”

“What happened?”

“Some psycho came along on a motorcycle and cut my arm deep with a knife and I would have bled out had I not come here.”

“Alex, would you like to spend the night here?” Mrs. Pope asked. I nodded and mouthed a thank you.

“Alright, I won’t be back until tomorrow morning. Tell Jack what happened when he wakes up, okay?”

“M’k, will do. Bye, don’t bleed out.”

“I’ll try. Bye.” I ended the call and put my phone on the table. “Thanks a lot for helping me.” I smiled at Cass and Mrs. Pope.

“Oh, it’s no problem Alex. You’re always welcome here.” Mrs. Pope smiled back at me.

“I’m going back to bed.” Cass said, starting upstairs.

“Alex, you can sleep in Cass’s bed, I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“Mom!” Cass exclaimed.

“That’s okay, I can sleep on the couch, thank you though.”

“No no, you should be comfortable considering your arm. Now go on, it’s late.” She insisted.

I faked a smiled, secretly upset that I’m sharing a bed with Cass when she likes me. I followed her upstairs to her room reluctantly, getting in her bed and laying as far as possible away from her.

“Night Alex.” She whispered, almost sounding like I would rip her head off if she spoke to me.

“Night. Thanks for helping me.” I replied through the darkness.

“Anytime.”

I fell asleep quickly, the medication kicking in and making me tired.

When I woke up in the morning, I was spooning Jack instead of him spooning me. Weird. “Hey, you’re awake.” I heard Cass’s voice say.

“Oh, fuck!” I yelled, my eyes flying open and I jumped away from her.

“What?” She asked, confused.

“I was fucking cuddling with you!”

“I know.”

“And you didn’t stop me? I have a boyfriend, Cass! I can’t cuddle with anyone but him!”

“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“You didn’t have to, you could have just shoved me off.” I snapped, getting out of the bed. Oh shit, I was still shirtless too. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I self-consciously crossed my arms over my chest and glared at her. “Are you really going to be a bitch after I helped you last night so that you didn’t bleed out and die on the street last night?” Cass snapped.

“And I’m thankful for that, but you should have pushed me away. You might like me as more than whatever the hell we are, but I’m in love with Jack. You should know that by now.” I sighed. “I’m leaving.”

“Don’t forget your shirt or phone.”

“Thanks.” I said before going downstairs and pulled on my shirt carefully, making sure not to bump my arm. I grabbed my phone and shoved it in my pocket.

I heard Cass talking to her mom upstairs. “Where did Alex go?” Mrs. Pope asked.

“He left.”

“I was going to give him a ride though.”

“He’s still here, he hasn’t left yet, but he’s going to leave soon.”

“Alex? Are you still here honey?” Her mom called.

“Yeah.” I shouted back.

“Would you like a ride home?”

“Um, sure, that’d be great.”

She came down the stairs, fully dressed, and we went out to her car together. She drove over to my house in a matter of seconds. “Thanks for all your help, Mrs. Pope. I really appreciate it.” I smiled warmly at her.

“It’s no problem, Alex. Get better soon.” She smiled back and I got out, going inside. Jack attacked me with a hug.

“Ah, fuck Jack, you’re hugging my arm!” I complained. He immediately pulled away.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you okay? Did you need stitches? How did it happen? When did it happen?” He asked a thousand questions all at once.

“I’m fine, no, a psycho on a motorcycle drove by and cut me, early this morning at like 1:50am.” I said. “Cass and her mom helped me.”

“That’s nice of them.”

“Yeah, um, about that...” I said nervously. “Her mom made me sleep in the same bed as Cass and when I woke up this morning, I was sort of spooning her in my sleep, thinking it was you... And she was already awake and didn’t push me away... And I was shirtless because of the cut... I’m so sorry!” I explained, hoping he wouldn’t freak out.

“She didn’t push you away.” Jack echoed. I nodded, fear in my eyes. “Why not?”

“Because she likes me! She claimed she didn’t want to wake me up, but I knew it was because she likes me. I’m really sorry Jack, I thought it was you and I didn’t mean to!” I babbled, praying he wasn’t going to get mad, my eyes filling with tears.

“Why are you crying?” He asked, wiping away a soon to fall tear.

“Because now you’re mad at me and I’m really sorry.” I whimpered, swiping away another falling tear.

“Lex, I’m not mad at you. Why would I be mad at you if you were asleep and thought it was me when you did it?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“I’m not mad at you.” He repeated. “I’m mad at her for not pushing you away when she knows you have a boyfriend who you love.”

“I do love you and that’s why I feel so guilty about this.”

“Don’t. I’m not angry with you, I still love you just as much as I did yesterday and all the days before that. I’ll never stop loving you, it’s impossible. I can’t be mad at you when you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But I did do something wrong. I was cuddling with someone who wasn’t you, the very person who broke my heart friendship style. Even if I was asleep, my mind should have known not to do that.”

Jack took a step closer to me, cupping my face in his hands and forcing me to look him in the eye. “Alex. I. Love. You. Don’t ever doubt that. I’d be mad if you did it when you were awake and sober. However, when you’re asleep or drunk, it isn’t your fault. Alright? I’m not mad at you, I swear. You know I’d never lie to you.”

I smiled a little. “Okay.”

“So how’s your arm?”

I shrugged. “Eh. In between. There’s a dull throbbing pain, but it’s not like a searing stabbing pain.”

“Okay, well at least it’s Saturday and we can relax some.” Jack smiled and placed a small kiss to my forehead. I smiled back and was planning on going to the coffee shop for a coffee when the doorbell rang.

I turned around and answered it. Cass was on my porch. “Um... Hi.” She said awkwardly.

“Why are you here?”

“I don’t know.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Okay... That’s not really telling me why you’re on my porch.”

“That’s because I don’t know why I’m on your porch.”

“Well you must have some reason.”

“I don’t.”

I figured I should repay her for last night and let her in. “Do you want to come in? Hang out, like old times? In paying you back for helping me last night?”

She smiled. “Sure, I’d like that.” She stepped inside and took off her shoes.

“I’m going to get some coffee, want any?”

“Sure, why not.”

“JACK! CASS AND I ARE GOING FOR COFFEE, WANT TO COME?” I yelled up the staircase where he was getting dressed.

“I’m fine, thanks though!” He half yelled back.

Cass and I went out to my retarded car after I got dressed in the outfit I had worn on that date with Jack when I had my anxiety attack, the white v-neck with the leather jacket, black skinnies, and worn out red converse. I could see the want in Cass’s eyes, but I ignored it.

We got in my car and I turned the key, getting a stutter and die. I rolled my eyes and took my jacket and shirt off before getting out again and opening the hood, readjusting things before getting back in and putting my shirt and jacket back on. I noticed Cass was trying not to look, but was sneaking glances. I turned the key and the car started, the radio full blast.

“Holy shit!” I jumped at the loud noise and turned it down, but it only went up. “Oh, fuck this!” I turned it up, making it go down. “For fucks sake.” I muttered. Cass just laughed lightly. “I fucking hate this thing.”

“Just get a new car.”

“I don’t have the money for that.” I changed the station a gazillion times before putting in an AVP CD, Remember This from the concert Jack and I went to. Cass examined the signatures on the case.

“Where did you get this signed?”

“Jack took me to a concert in the beginning of the school year and got us meet and greet passes. I guess the felt bad for me, what with the cuts and such, so they gave me a signed copy.”

“Oh, that’s cool.”

“Yeah.”

“I heard you won the music program thing.”

I sighed. “Yeah.”

“You don’t sound excited.”

“Because I’m not going for it yet.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m not ready. I want to lay low with Jack for a while and if I decide that I want to become something more than just another person, I’ll cross that bridge if I come to it.”

Cass shrugged. “Your choice. Wait, Jack took you to a concert at the beginning of the year. You guys weren’t even friends with benefits yet, let alone friends.”

“We were close to being friends. I think that night sort of sealed the deal that he was my friend and I was his.”

“How many times did you guys kiss before you were friends with benefits?”

I counted in my head. “Um.... Five times, I think.”

“Really? Wow. I would have thought something more like twice. How did they come about?”

“First one was on the third day after school and I told Jack all about the suicide attempt and he gave me some pretty good advice and said he already cared about me more than he should and how I scared him a lot when he heard I was in the hospital, so I just couldn’t control it and kissed him.”

“Aww, second one.”

“He gave me a worksheet after class with the tickets on the back with a note saying we were going to the concert, so I asked to go to the bathroom, but instead went to him class and pulled him outside, then kissed him really hard and quick and ran away without saying anything.”

“Third.”

“I found out my parents were separating and I got really fucking pissed and Jack was right there in front of me, so I sort of took part of my anger out on his lips.”

“Fourth.”

“I came to school wearing a band shirt, nerd glasses, and a fedora and was getting teased for looking gay, so Jack defended me and after class, he gave me more good advice and I kissed him.”

“Fifth.”

“The day in class I sang the AVP Christmas song Airplanes and Candy Canes and sorta dedicated it to him because I figured out I liked him as more than a friend, then after class I was pestering him to know who he liked and asked if it was his bitchy ex Holly and he blurt that it wasn’t her, it was me, so I kissed him.”

“Awww, that’s adorable.” She grinned.

I smiled at the memory. “I guess so.”

“Wait, so you were always the one to kiss him first. He never kissed you first?”

“I think he figured that kissing your student was inappropriate, but it didn’t seem as wrong if I kissed him first. He always kissed me back, as long as he had time to. He didn’t have time on the one where I kissed him when I found the tickets. Other than that, he’s always kissed back.”

“So you guys were pretty much in a relationship before you were even friends with benefits.”

“No. We didn’t know what we were. We weren’t friends with benefits, we weren’t in a relationship, but we were more than just friends.”

“When did you realize you loved him?”

I sighed. “I think I denied it for a long time. In reality,” We reached the coffee shop and I parked, getting out and waiting for her before going inside, “I think I fell in love with him on the first day of school, when I sort of opened up to him about who I really was and all that. The fact that he didn’t judge me made it a lot easier for me to fall for him. When I actually admitted it to myself was when I asked him to be my boyfriend and he rejected me, then I felt like I needed to crawl in a hole and die.”

“Was that the day before you didn’t come to school and Jack looked and acted like shit when he taught?”

“He did?”

“Yeah, he got really upset when Tom came and screamed at him, then when the phone rang he got even more upset and everyone was looking at him funny, so he bitched at us to get back to work.”

I smiled as we got in line. “Funny, I was at home crying my eyes out and listening to my sad song playlist and thank god Tom took away all the sharp objects, pills, and anything to be used as a rope.”

“Wow, he had that much of an affect on you?”

“Like I said, I was in love. And I felt lost without him.”

“Awww.”

“Damn it, I can totally see why he hates when I do that.” I muttered.

“What?”

“Whenever he says something sweet, I always awww and he hates when I do it because supposedly it makes him blush, although I never see it.”

She laughed as we got up there and ordered what we wanted. We got our drinks and sat down. “You said Jack says sweet things all the time. What sort of things does he say?” She asked.

I thought about it. “Well, whenever I’m doubting myself, he gives me a little speech with all the reasons why I shouldn’t doubt myself. Although it is sweet and meaningful, I never really believe it. That was one of the reasons I got so upset when Jasey pointed out all my flaws, because the night before I had pointed the same ones out about myself and Jack gave me a little speech about how I was perfect in his eyes and how he loved me more than anything. So when Jasey told me all those things, I felt like Jack had lied to me.”

“But Jack wouldn’t lie to you, would he?” Cass frowned.

“I don’t think so... At least not to me. He’s lied to you guys before, but I always know what he’s talking about.”

“So why would you think he lied to you about the flaws thing?”

“Because like you know, I’m insecure. The scars on me prove that. I’m self-conscious about what people think of me, about myself, about everything. Sometimes I actually have to think about how much Jack loves me because on those bad days, when nothing goes right, I feel worthless. So I wonder why Jack would love someone who has nothing to live for.”

“You have Jack to live for.” She reasoned.

“I know I have him. And I’d be so guilty if I left him. But I also can’t help but think about why he would love someone with so many flaws, so many insecurities and so many worries. It can’t be easy to deal with. I can’t help but think that every day, he groans at the thought of having to deal with me again.”

“Alex, come on.” Cass rolled her eyes. “If Jack wasn’t happy with you, he wouldn’t spend time with you. He wouldn’t have worried so much when you took up cutting. He wouldn’t have tried so hard to fix you. He wouldn’t give you speeches on why he loves you and why you shouldn’t doubt yourself. He loves you, I can see it in his eyes every time he looks at you. And you love him too. That love is so strong it couldn’t be destroyed with a wrecking ball if someone tried. No one can try to destroy it.”

I smiled. “Thanks. We should get back home, Jack will want to check in with my arm and everything.”

She smiled back and nodded. We got up and I fixed the car before even trying to start it. It started on the first try and we drove back home, singing along to Anarbor.

It was kind of nice to have Cass around again. As much as I hated what she did to me, I really loved her as a friend. Maybe I’d give her another chance. I had really missed her, as much as I didn’t want to admit it. Jack was perfect, trust me, but he wasn’t a best friend. He was a best boyfriend.

We got back home and Jack again, attacked me at the front door with a hug. “You’re back!” He said cheerfully.

I laughed and hugged him back. “Did you think I wasn’t going to come back?”

“No, I just missed you!”

“Okay, I missed you too.” I smiled and quickly kissed him. “Cass and I are going to be in my room, you’re welcome to join us.”

“I might later, I’m going to go make sure Matt knows I’m not dead.” He chuckled. “But I’ll see you in about an hour.”

“Alright, bye.” I gave him another little kiss before letting him leave and took Cass up to my room.

“See? He loves you.” She grinned.

“What makes you think that?”

She raised her eyebrows. “He missed you for the half hour we were gone, he bombarded you at the door with a hug, and he was clearly disappointed that kiss didn’t last longer.”

I laughed. “Well, I love him too.”

“I know. Listen, I want to apologize for not giving you the basement that day. I should have told Tom to let you have it.”

I sighed. “Yeah, that wasn’t cool. But I’ll forgive you. At least I won.”

“I’m surprised you aren’t going for it.”

“I’m just not going for it yet. I might in a year or so, once I think I could handle it.”

“Do whatever you want, it’s your choice. What time is it?”

I checked my phone. “Noon.”

“Oh shit, I should get home. Sorry for keeping you so long.”

“You don’t have to leave, you can stay for a while. It’s kind of nice having you around again.” I admitted.

She smiled. “Really?”

I nodded, smiling back. “I’ll give you one more chance. But if you screw things up for Jack and I or you end things with me again, you don’t get another and I’ll never forgive you again.”

“Ah!” She squealed, leaping forward and hugging me tightly. I laughed and hugged her back.

“I missed you.” I whispered.

“I missed you too.”

Notes

Holy shit, I'm so sorry for not updating for ELEVEN FUCKING DAYS I'm so sorry! Thanks for commenting, subscribing, voting! It means a lot!