No Pads… No Helmets… Just Memories!

"Psss!" Alex hissed from behind me as I kept my eyes on my notes, letting out a sigh as I felt his sneaker nudge my chair. "Jasey!" He whispered as I looked up at the murmuring teacher who had her attention on the board before leaning back ever so slightly against my chair to signify that I was listening. There was a brief moment of silence before I heard the muffled scuff of his chair on the math room floor before his lips brushed the shell of my ear. "Meet me at my locker after school." He whispered in a hushed tone as his breath fell past his lips to grace my neck with its heat. But all too soon he was gone. Cool air whirling to fill the space his warmth had just vacated. As I turned to see Alex leaning back in his chair with a smug smile I shot him a confused look.


"What?" I laughed in a whisper as his smile slipped into a smirk.


"Miss Dawson I suggest you quit yapping with Mr. Gaskarth if you don't want to stay after with me!" Mrs. Aikman scolded as I snapped back to face the front of the room. The elder teacher eying Alex and I from behind her fine glasses as she scoffed, "would you like to stay after with me Miss Dawson, you can just stay put seeing it is last period if you'd-"


"SHE CAN'T!" Alex piped up from behind me as I cringed and every set of eyes slipped to the teen as the teacher raised her gray eyebrows.


"Have something to share Mr. Gaskarth?" The math teacher questioned placing her hands on her hips as I listened to Alex slouch in his seat.


"No" he muttered lowly as she hummed and leaned closer to the rows of desks, "Nothing ma’am"


"Alright then..." She grumbled turning back to the board as she explained a problem from the homework.


It wouldn't be more than a few brief moments before I felt Alex's foot nudge my chair once again. Shifting in my seat to silently ask him to piss off or I wouldn't need to meet him at his locker a piece of neatly folded paper hit my foot. Eying the object I let out a sigh and placed my pencil on the desk before jamming the tip of my converse under the shortest of the four legs before pulling it back out causing the old table to wobble. I watched my pencil roll to the side before falling off the desk being thankful for the schools poor budget and even poorer supplies as I scooted back to snatch both the note and the pencil.


I took a hard swallow as my eyes flickered between my teacher and the note and I slowly unfolded the paper and read Alex's chicken scratch.


'Get your stuff after the bell rings then meet me at my locker'


I rolled my eyes picking up my pencil and replying, 'why' before quietly folding the sheet and faking a yawn as I leaned back and dropped the note on his desk oh-so-casually as the teacher continued to ramble about the importance of the formulas we were learning - well supposed to be anyway. Keeping my eyes on my paper when I felt him nudge my chair I stuck my hand closest to the wall by my hip allowing him to reach forward and slip me the note, his hand lingering in mine a moment longer then it needed to as I smiled to myself.


'I want to show my girlfriend something :)'


I rolled my eyes again and carefully slipped the note beside my classwork to reply to the boy telling him I would before dropping it to the floor and kicking it behind me. I listened to the screech of Alex's chair on the floor as he bent down to get the note, the boy sitting back up and loudly unfolding it oblivious to the fact that the eyes of every student and a single agitated teacher had fallen on him. I shut my eyes ever so slightly when Mrs. Aikman brushed my shoulder and hovered over Alex's desk.


"Passing notes now are we?" She rolled snatching the paper from Alex as he quickly protested, my body turning around in my stiff chair to watch the scene unfold. "Alexander I know you liked this class, but I didn't think you liked it enough to want to stay in it longer!" She said as he narrowed his eyes at the elder while I sat by and bit my lip.


"I don't!" He all but whined, "Can I have that back, I promise it won’t happen again!" He pleaded as the woman lofted her brow at the juvenile.


"Sure..." She said as he and I both let out a suppressed sigh, "as soon as I finish reading it aloud to the class!"


"NO!" Alex reached out and snatched the small wad from the teacher's wrinkles hand.


"Mr. Gaskarth hand paper over!" But before Mrs. Aikman could take it back, Alex crumbled the paper and placed it in his mouth.


"See me after class..." She narrowed her eyes at him as he leaned back in his seat.


"Fine!" He surrendered holding up his hands as the whole class muffled their giggles as Alex still had the paper filling his mouth when the teacher retreated. Alex glanced at me as I giggled and listened to the bell ripple through the room. Everyone stood from their seats and rushed for the door as I glanced at Alex and watched him slowly pull the wad from his mouth and let it drip slightly before dropping it to the desk's top.


"Classy..." I rolled my eyes as I pulled my bag onto my back and watched him flash me a sarcastic smile.


"Alexander I'd like to speak to you for a moment..." Mrs. Aikman sighed with a tired voice as I raised my hand to Lex and slipped out the door.


"He's ridiculous!" Andrea muttered as I stepped into the hall and glanced to see her perched against the wall.


"Tell me about it!" I laughed as we walked down the main corridor towards the junior connector.


"I bet now she'll make sure no one swaps seats anymore and he'll be back with Tammy!" Andrea added as I nodded my head and followed her towards her locker seeing as I was no longer in any form of a rush.


"Well what was he expecting to happen?" I laughed as she shrugged her shoulders before looking over at me with a soft smile.


"I'm really happy you guys are friends again..." She told me with soft expression as I didn't bother to conceal my own grin letting it wash over my lips, "things just don't feel right when you guys aren't talking, for whatever reason it may be." She added pulling her locker open, "Plus you both seem a lot happier, so I just thought I'd let you know that even if no one else will say it out loud, we all are happy your guys are cool again!"


I smiled at my feet as she pulled a sting of books from her locker before I would glance up at her again, "I'm happy we are too..." I told her as she smiled sweetly to herself with a nod.


"Well I gotta catch Matt for a ride home but I'll call you later, kay?" She smiled shutting her locker as I nodded my head allowing us to both part ways. I watched one foot step in front of the other as I walked towards my locker. Something about hearing Andrea say she could tell Alex and I made each-other happy just sat right with me. Never before then had someone saying something made a warm feeling appear in my stomach like that had. Maybe it was that I knew how Alex made me feel, how all the little things he used to do and still does made a small spark ignite inside me, the subtle things he'd whisper when no one was around to see me blush, all those little things I felt, and to know she saw them two made my heart melt.


The smile never wiping off my face as I pulled my books from my locker and slipped them into my bag, humming to myself as I did so. I was about to shut my locker when two hands clasped over my eyes causing my smile to grow. "Guess who?" Alex hushed in my ear as a small giggle passed my lips.


"Marc?" I questioned sarcastically as Alex hummed a no to the sensitive area causing me to giggle once again. "Oh, I know, Jack!" I said excited as I listened to him chuckle, his hands slipping from my eyes to trail feather light touches down my arms.


"I'm starting to think you're seeing Jack behind my back..." He hummed, wrapping his strong arms around my center as I rolled my eyes and struggled to zip my backpack.


"Actually... I'm seeing you behind Jack's back..." I laughed poking his forearm that was locked around my stomach as I dropped my bag.


"Well not for much longer!" He squeezed me while placing a subtle kiss on my shoulder as I managed to flick my locker shut.


"Oh yeah?" I giggled turning in his arms as my spine hit the locker, the soft sound echoing off the walls of the now nearly vacant hall.


"Mhmm..." He hummed nudging his nose with mine before pulling away and searching my face with a goofy grin, I watched as he licked at his lip before giving it a nip "hey..." He whispered as I rolled my eyes and slid my hands to his shoulders.


"Hey yourself..." I hushed back as he chuckled a raspy laugh and rubbed a thumb to my side. "Any reason you wanted to see me?"


"I need a reason to want to see my girlfriend?" He gasped taking a step back and clutching his chest allowing me to shoot him a glare, Alex laughing before dropping his arms to his side with a shrug "In all honesty I actually have somewhere I want to take you..."


"Alex" I sighed dragging out his name.


"Oh,come on!" He begged taking both my hands in his, lacing our fingers together as he spoke. "I haven’t gotten to see you because you've been grounded and you refuse to come to the few band practices Rian's been allowed to be at!"


"So, is that so abnormal?" I laughed.


"It wouldn’t be other than the fact band practices are always at YOUR house!" He laughed as he lifted our entwined hands to rest on my shoulders as his arms locked out straight.


"You guys don't need me hanging around at your practices; I have no purpose in being there!" I pointed out with a fair objection as he dropped one of my hands allowing me to snatch my backpack before pulling me out into the center of the hall.


"Yes but it's your first day being un-grounded, I don't have practice again till tomorrow, and I'm going to spend today with you whether you like it or not!" He smiled, "and I'm taking you where I was planning to so just go with it..."


* * * * * *


"ALEX WHERE ARE WE GOING?" I squealed as I ran after him through the muddy park in the endlessly pouring rain. The boy simply laughing as he stopped long enough for me to meet his side. With a single hand he threw his guitar case over his head, shielding his hair from the rain. His second hand quickly poking out and snatching mine the moment I was within reach. "IT'S FUCKING POURING LEX!" I whined in a high pitched tone as I tried to juggle the boy, the rain, and the hood I was having to hold onto my head.


"I NOTICED!" He laughed as he continued to pull us deeper into the park. My eyes trained on my shoes as they sunk into the sopping clay with each step making me wish I had worn soccer cleats instead of converse. A decision I most likely would have made had I known we were going on an adventure to what seemed to be in fucking Narnia for all I knew.


"THEN WHERE ARE WE GOING?" I screamed over the hissing rain as he made a sharp left all but dragging me through the park. "AND WHY ON GOD's GREEN EARTH DO YOU HAVE THIS?" I questioned reaching up and knocking two fingers to the black covered case.


"JUST STOP ASKING QUESTIONS OKAY?" He laughed loudly before sprinting over to the edge of the park where the mud met the line of trees and I let out an inaudible gasp knowing then exactly where we were going. I opened my mouth to say something but before I could even contemplate a complete thought Alex had taken a tighter hold on my hand and had begun guiding us through the woods. Our feet sinking into the few inches of snow that was surviving the rain only reminding me that it was in fact still winter. "Jasey..." He called my name softly as I glanced up at him. His hand resting on the last branch before we'd be out into the open once again, Alex knowing the old terrain as well as I as he looked at me and said, "After I move this we need to book it to the tree house okay?" He asked eagerly and I nodded as he threw his guitar case onto his back and held up a fist.


"1" he whispered as if we would get caught as he put his index finger into the air. "2" he smiled as I laughed when he pulled his index finger down as his middle finger went up to flip me off, "3!" He screamed and pulled the branch back like a door allowing me to sprint past before I heard the tree snap and the mud slosh under Alex's larger feet. The two of us scrambling up the ladder as best we could before my hand would slap onto the surprisingly dry surface of the ledge. The slanted rain hitting the back of the house leaving the ledge and front wall dry as a bone as we both shivered into a comfortable position.


"Why the hell do you have your guitar?" I questioned bitterly as I rung my hair out onto the paneled wood watching as he carefully pulled his favorite acoustic from its case.


"Because I'm a sweet fucking boyfriend now hush," he told me as I laughed and cocked a brow at the boy, his warm eyes finding mine as he adjusted the instrument in his lap, "I've memorized this stuff okay?" He told me as I nodded my head and held my hands up in surrender. "I feel bad that I've made you keep us from everyone, it hasn't been purposeful and it almost makes me wish that we got together differently so that our friends didn't think we hated each-other... But then I look at you and know that it doesn't matter how we got together as long as it happened and I know that I could never have asked you out in some sappy way because you'd probably laugh or I'd simply just vomit from nerves..." He said as a smile broke onto my face. "And as an apology for being a weenie, I wanted to play you a lil something..."


"Alex..." I groaned as he began to laugh.


"No, no, I'm being sappy 'cause I honestly hate that we haven't been able to really enjoy being together so I want to do this, and what other place could I then the old tree house?" He smiled as I rolled my eyes and tightened my arms around my center.


"I don't know some place with heat..?" I smiled sarcastically as he rolled his eyes.


"No... This is where I kissed you for the first time!" He grinned strumming the guitar lightly.


"If I remember correctly, it was I who kissed you!" I laughed as he threw his hands into the air.


"I WAS 9 OKAY, I WAS NERVOUS!" He exclaimed as I laughed and nodded my head towards him.


"Alright, just play your song so we can go home..." I grinned as he made a face and mocked me before turning his attention to the guitar.


His entire domineer changing in an instant as he placed his fingers in their correct places and began to strum. His face softening as went through the notes, I'd never seen Alex so beside himself, so completely and totally content in a situation before then. His soft notes filling the air as they mixed perfectly with the sounds of the falling rain. (HEY, if your like me and usually just skip the song lyrics out of pure laziness then know I cropped out MOST of the song anyway, but here is an acoustic version of it that you can just listen to and get the point)


'What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive'


He sang as his voice filled the air and I could physically feel my heart swell in my chest at the familiar lifehouse song.


'I can't keep up and I can't back down,
I've been losing so much time.

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose,
And it's you and me and all of the people,
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you.'


Alex glanced up as he continued to strum. I don't know what was exactly going through my mind or what emotions were playing on my face but all I can remember is how I felt the memory of me and Alex's first kiss flooding my mind.


'All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right,
I'm tripping on words,
You got my head spinning,
I don't know where to go from here...'


* * * * * * FLASHBACK * * * * * *

"Lexi where are we going?" I giggled as Alex guided me through the park, his small youthful hands clasped over my eyes as I stumbled. My frail arms held out in front of me as I blindly maneuvered through the park, "Lex I can't see anything!" I giggled as Alex did the same.


"I know, but just wait a bit longer!" He told me, his British accent still thick from the fresh move though it had already begun to fade. I listened carefully as I heard the slight ruffle of dried up leaves and let out another small laugh. Both our fathers standing on either side of the two nine year olds as Alex guided me through the woods. "Where almost there..." He'd whisper in my ear as the little me began blushed. Both parents exchanging a knowing smile that went unnoticed by the blind and focused kids we each were.


"You ready Jasey?" My father asked kneeling down in front of me as a smile blossomed on my little lips. My head nodding vigorously as Alex struggled to keep his hands over my eyes with his tiny arms. "Alright... Alex?" He asked just as the boy uncovered my eyes and quickly swiveled around to watch my face. The unforgettable gray-blue color of my youthful eyes scanning up the tree as they slowly grew in size, the color blowing to fill most of my already large eyes as I smiled at the two fathers before glancing at Alex.


"What do ya think?" Mr. Gaskarth asked laughing ever so lightly as he watched the young girl helplessly glance around the group in sheer excitement.


"I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!" I'd squeal before reaching over and grabbing Alex's hand and drag him towards the brand new tree house. I heard him chuckle from behind me as I slowly climbed the ladder before pulling my small body onto the ledge, Alex soon appearing beside my with the biggest smile I had yet to see shining on his young little face.


"This is so cool!" I breathed glancing around and poking my head through the small window before pulling it back out and looking at Alex. My eyes meeting his with a huff before I would lean over and smack his arm.


"Ow!" We whined nursing the point of impact as he pouted up at me, "what was that for?"


"For finishing it without me!" I scoffed folding my arms over my chest as I pouted to my lap. A moment of silence passing between us before I would hear Alex chuckle causing my eyes to snap towards my friend. His big brown eyes on full display thanks to his dyed blonde strands being abruptly cut across his forehead. "What?" I asked rather brusquely as he shifted in his place, what I could have sworn to be a blush blooming on the apples of Alex's cheeks as he shrugged.


"What?" He asked keeping his eyes on mine.


"Why are you staring at me like that?" I snipped as he shrugged again, a small smile tugging on the corners of her his mouth as he did so.


"I don't know..." He said simply as his eyes softened and a serious expression took hold of his features as he scooted a tad closer, my eyes watching his hands as the shifted on the wooden surface and shuffled his body closer to mine. "You're just really pretty..." He told me as I hung my head feeling a funny flutter in my chest. "You're a really cool girl Jasey..." Alex told me as I rubbed my hands down my thighs feeling an odd clamminess collecting on my palms as he scooted closer. "But can I ask you something?" He questioned as I bit my lip nervously and looked up at him. My head nodding as he let out a deep breath and I quickly grew anxious. "Have you had your first kiss yet?" He rushed out before taking a sharp inhale as I glanced up at him.


"Uh..." I let out a breath watching my friend fiddle with the seam of his shirt's bottom as I shook my head in the slightest, "no..." I whispered watching his reaction carefully as his shoulders dropped in relief.


"I'm only asking because Tommy was telling me he had his when he was our age and I don't know..." He shrugged awkwardly as I shifted in my place again, "I was thinking it'd be best just to get it over with..."


"Huh?" I questioned clueless as I lifted my head to meet his blushing gaze once again as he cracked his knuckles.


"Well... Like... Uhm... God this was easier in my bedroom..." He sighed before shaking his head and looking me in the eye, "I want to have my first kiss, and you're the only person I can think of that I'd want to have it with okay!" He spilled as if I were angry with him as I dropped my head to hide a growing blush as my little heart pounded in my chest.


"You want me to be your first kiss?" I swallowed in disbelief as I watched the goody carefree kid silenced by his odd nerves.


"Well... Yeah." He rolled as I looked up at him with a smile hinting on my lips. "It's not like I wanna kiss Rian..." He muttered as a let out a small laugh. Alex's eyes instantly sparking to life at the lightened break. The boy glancing at the ground to see both our parents packing up the endless amount of tools into boxes before he glanced at me and cleared his throat, "so uhm, can- can I kiss you?" He asked nervously as I nodded my head slightly.


"I don't see why not..." I shrugged before we both let out a breath and shifted to face one another. To say what happened after that was awkward would be a comedic understatement. The two of us sat awkwardly shifting for at least five minutes before I glanced up at Alex and he shuffled to place his hand on my face. His large eyes scanning my face as he blinked and dropped his hand.


"Uhm... Okay." He breathed as I watched his chest quickly rise and fall, his blonde hair shaking with his head as he blew out a breath and wiggled his shoulders before sighing still again, "You ready?" He asked quietly looking at me.


Even then I wanted to laugh watching every nervous tick known to man come out of him, the fear in his eyes as they locked on mine. I quickly sighed as I rolled my eyes and leaned forward, swiftly pecking Alex's lips before pulling back to see his wide eyes locked on mine.


"Boys are so dumb..." I rolled my little eyes before leaning back against the tree house like I was now, watching Alex strum before his eyes locked on mine again and I was pulled from the memory as he sang.


'Something about you now,
I can't quite figure out,
Everything she does is beautiful,
Everything she does is right,'


His eyes slipping shut as he let the words spill from his mouth and rocked to his own beat.


'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do, nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you...

And me and all of the people with nothing to do and nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive'


He sang letting the last note drag out before his eyes fluttered open and locked on me. "Yeah so uh-" he paused awkwardly as he coughed and cleared his throat, "that- that’s it..." He told me as I watched him. My eyebrows lifting as I smiled his way. I remained silent as he shifted to place the guitar back in its case before sitting back. The quiet air between us hanging around as he avoided my eyes and began to pull at the bottom of his red zip-up, the action instantly causing my eyes to roll as I sat up.


"Hey, Alex..." I whispered as his eyes slowly lifted to mine to see my large grin, "you're still dumb..." I told him before swiftly leaning forward and catching his lips with mine. My hands taking hold on both sides of his face as I deepened the kiss. Our lips moving in sync as he knotted his hands through my wet hair and pulled my face closer, his warm tongue slipping into my mouth with ease as I let it. A nostalgic bliss seeping through my skin as he ran his hands through my hair. The feeling of his warmth radiating through me shined the light on the very simplicity that was Alex and I's relationship. What I had in that moment, what we were right than was all it took. Just me and Alex. How I truly craved just being with him, the feeling of his hands on my body and his lips pressed to mine. His musky scent filling my nose was all I needed to take my mind of anything but him, us. It was then I realized that I didn't think I'd ever be able to stomach feeling this with anyone else. So when his tongue slipped from my mouth I took the opportunity to lightly gnaw on his lip, the flesh being pulled ever so slightly as I pressed the pads of my fingers into the soaked material of his hoodie causing Alex to fall the remainder of the way to his back. His spine pressing to the wood as he slid his hands from the ends of my hair to the base of my spine, adding pressure to the area closing what little space remained between our two bodies as we both slowly pulled away. My face hovering above his as he searched my eyes for something, clearly finding it as a smile broke onto his lips. My hand found his face as I awkwardly shifted to bush the drenched strands from his eyes. "I can't think of anyone I would want to have shared my first kiss with either..." I told him as he leaned up and lightly pressed his lips to mine before dropping it back to the wood with a laugh.


"Good..." He smiled as I let my head fall into the crook of his neck. The two of us laying like that, me on top of him as the rain fell around us. It wouldn't be for a while later, after his arms were wrapped securely around my back to hold me close and I lay fiddling with his collar that I would smile and finally reply.


"Good..."

Notes