No Pads… No Helmets… Just Memories!

"This rain will never stop!" Andrea groaned as we made our way over to the same lunch table we occupied every day, already filled with most of the usual crowd. I nodded my head though she couldn't very well see it as I walked behind her, but my mind was in far other places then where the weather was at this point in the day. I bit my lip as I noticed a particular dusty brown mop of hair flip in my direction and I couldn't help but hate the flutter in my chest as his brown eyes found mine, my mind mentally cursing both of us for the secret we now had to keep that all started that morning.



-
"Jasey... Your phones ringing..." Rian informed me as I looked up from my task of packing my backpack. A small groan falling passed my lips as I stumbled over to the island and snatched the device.



"Sup?" I answered after flicking it open and wedging it between my ear and shoulder to finish my previous task, not bothering to see who it was, not like I needed to once he spoke up.



"Hey Jase" Alex smiled into the phone as I bit back my own.



"Uh hey!" I grinned looking over my shoulder at Rian who hadn't even seemed to pay any mind to my tone as he moved to make his breakfast, "what’s up?"



"Nothing really just calling to see if you needed a ride to school seeing as its still pouring..." He said as I zipped my bag and let it fall back in the chair I had it in.



"Well I have Rian..." I muttered the obvious while I listened to him laugh into the phone.



"No Jasey," Alex laughed, "I'm offering you a ride!"



"But I don't need one..." I laughed in slight confusion.



"I'm calling to ask you if I can give you a ride to school instead of Rian you ditz!" He chuckled as I could feel my face flush a vibrant shade of red.



"Oh" I lamely replied.



"I mean if you want one that is!" Alex rushed only making my blush deepen as I bit my lip, "I know you saw me a lot this weekend but-"



"Alex..." I giggled cutting him off, "I'd love one, I'll be right over..."



"Oh, uh, rad..." He laughed almost awkwardly as I shook my head and told him I'd see him in a sec before hanging up and grabbing the rain coat all Dulaney athletes were given from the table top.



I smiled lightly at my brother as I pulled it over the zip-up that covered my shoulders and grabbed my bag. The drummer not even bothering to question me as he held a hand up in a motionless wave before I was off. I pulled my hood over my head as I darted across the street to Alex's already running car before spilling into the passenger seat with a muggy groan. "God will this rain never stop?" I moaned throwing my head back so my hood pooled around my neck before dropping my backpack to my feet.



Alex shrugged as he put the car into gear and turned to look out the back window, "I kind of like it... Maybe now most of the snow will have washed away!"



"I guess your right... I mean I like it too!" I nodded looking out the window at the runny droplets, "but only to an extent..."



"I hope that rule doesn't apply to everything you like..." He laughed as I shot him a half assed glare only causing him to laugh more.



"What are you talking about?" I laughed looking up at him as I lofted a brow, "I'm already sick of you!"



"Of course you are!" He smiled a toothy grin at the road as he placed a hand on my knee. I rolled my eyes and poked his hand as I looked up at him.



"Ten and two mister, you took Driver's Ed!" I laughed as he muffled his own chuckle. He flicked on his directional, taking his hand off my knee as he took the turn only to place it back in its spot as he drove down the main road. My eyes falling to his hand, there edges crinkled with the smile I was so desperately trying to fight off as I watched his thumb rub back and forth on the fabric of my tight jeans.



"I usually leave it on the transmission..." He sighed as he kept his eyes on the road, "but I like my girlfriend's knee much better!"



I couldn't help my own grin grow as I noticed a certain soft smile pull at his lips at the word. "You will never get tired of saying that will you?" I laughed softly as I leaned against the window to watch his face.



"Nope!" He laughed popping the 'p' as I shook my head. "But that reminds me..."



"Of what?" I questioned wearily after his words faded off. I watched him as his soft smile only grew and he stole a glance between me and the road.



"Have you told anyone?" He asked seriously as I thought for a moment before shaking my head.



"No, why?"



"Well I was wondering..." He sighed as we came to a red light just beyond the student parking lot of the high school and his eyes shifted to me, "Can I tell Jack first?"



I felt the subconscious grin pull at my lips as I nodded my head, "yeah, of course!" I laughed as his smile grew wider, if that was even possible and he pulled forward taking the turn into the parking lot. "Why Jack though?"



I watched as Alex shook his head and searched for a spot, "I don't know, he's my best-friend and I just think he'll be mad if he finds out someone heard before him..." He finished while parking the car and killing the engine. "But that also means you can't tell Cass or anyone till I get a chance to tell him..."



"Then he might be disappointed!" I rolled my eyes as Alex looked over at me with a questionable look and I swallowed to elaborate, "I'm sure Cass already knows without me telling, she'll be able to notice something’s up!"



"You’re crazy!" He laughed shaking his head and popped the buckle of his seatbelt as I did the same.



"Just you wait!" I laughed pointing a finger as he chuckled and reached to pull his backpack out of the back seat.



"You ready?" He questioned with a playful smile as we each pulled a single strap over a shoulder and I nodded my head, "on 3" he said placing a hand on the door handle, "1"



"2"



"3!" We both yelled in unison and threw our doors open and darted for the school. I couldn't help the shrill laugh that fell out of my mouth when I felt Alex catch my hand as he caught up to me and intertwined our fingers while we ran. The freezing rain pouring down on us made the few yards to the school's covered line of doors feel a mile away as we sprinted towards them. Our feet kicking up the collected water drenched the bottoms of our jeans till we hit the covered sidewalk. The two of us laughing like little kids playing in the first spring rain of the year till we caught each other's eyes and the meaningless run turned into a scene from a Nicholas Sparks movie.



"Let’s go find Jack!" He laughed stiffly, squeezing my hand that was still tangled with his before dragging me towards a set red double doors before something dawned on me. My feet planting in their place as his body yanked to a halt with an almost comedic jolt before he stumbled back to me. "What’s up?" He questioned crinkling his eyebrows, those damn eyebrows.



"I hate you..." I blurted and a confused expression slowly washed over his face as he shuffled in his stance to pull to his full height.



"Huh?"



"As far as everyone else knows, I hate you!" I elaborated biting my tongue. "Last time they saw us you were a mess and I was still being a moronic asshole, what are they going to think if we walk in there and are both happy as can be?"



I watched the feelings wash over his face as his features went through the motions, understanding, recognition, thought, hurt, confusion, excitement, but lastly, that look of an idea. "Then I hate you too..." He smiled as I scrunched my nose.



"Huh?"



"Yeah I mean think about it, if we could act like a fake couple before ever being one, imagine how easy acting like we hate each other would be seeing as we both know how it feels and how we act!" He explained as I silently nodded my head in thought.



"Then what happened when we tell them and it’s a total 180°?" I questioned scratching at the back of my neck realizing that in a way that is kind of what happened, but that’s what always happened with us, that’s why we worked.



"We can pull the whole, we're friends but we aren't that close thing so we can still be around one another today without being super close or super distant then if they ask after I'll just tell them I made you keep it secret to prevent Jack from flipping a shit..." He shrugged squeezing my hand he still held with a soft smile, "They know how he is they will totally get it..."



I nodded my head realizing he was right and that it was a good angle. We couldn't very well walk in there attached at the hip when the last time any of them saw us, aside from Rian this morning, we were crying blubbering each-other hating messes. And I knew all too well that we would never hear the end of it if Jack wasn't told first and alone, it'd be like a break in their brotherly/bromance bond that even I didn't want to step between. "Alright" I muttered nodding my head again returning Alex's squeeze with a smile before I dropped it all together and turned for the door.



"Oh Jasey wait!" Alex rushed grabbing my elbow and snapping me back around to face him. "I almost forgot!"



"Forgot what?" I questioned hesitantly as he shoved his hand into the front pocket of his jeans.



"I have something for you!" He beamed as I rolled my eyes.



"Alex you promised me-"



"No, no, no!" He laughed pulling his fist out of his pocket, "it's actually something that belongs to you!" He smiled holding up the too familiar pendent into my view as I blushed, "I just hope you'll keep it this time?" He finished in an almost questionable tone as I blushed a bold shade of ruby.



"Gladly!" I giggled as I took the necklace from Alex. He watched as I slipped it into my pocket not thinking it would be the best move to draw attention to the pendent they all knew the story of before he took my hand and pulled me into his chest.



"We just have to keep it a secret till I can get a chance to tell Jack..."

-
A challenge that had proved quite difficult all morning, and so far all day. Having Alex just arm’s length away and not being able to reach out and wrap my arms around him was torture. Every time I saw him I just had the urge to do something, something small even like just place my hand on his thigh or hold his hand, little things I needed for reassurance, to know myself I was making it clear I hated the neglect I had towards our feelings for each-other. And now it all just seemed like all the urges had been bottled up inside me since that first party he kissed me in my kitchen, all the small things that had built up had now exploded and were begging to be let out. "Uh I know..." I muttered tucking a stand of hair that had fallen from my braid behind my ear as we approached a table.


I plastered on a disapproving scowl to hide my giddy grin when Andrea purposefully took a seat leaving an empty one between her and Alex. My eyes locking on her to feign annoyance as I took my seat.


"Know what?" Marc asked looking up from his tray as he blindly picked at his food with the plastic fork.


"That this rain is annoying!" Andrea muttered pulling apart her own food as I picked up my chicken patty and took a bite.


"I thought you used to like the rain?" Alex questioned looking down on me as every set of eyes at the table locked on the two of us. My own falling to my food as I took a hard swallow.


"I- I don't recall..." I weakly muttered as everyone else began to ignore our meaningless banter when they saw it wasn't leading to anything.


"Yeah, yeah you used to sit at the window and just smile like an idiot and watch the rain!" Alex laughed softly calling the eyes back as I bit my lip and ducked my head so our friends wouldn't see my goofy grin. "Do you still do that?"


I bit my lip seeing as Alex had seemed to let our plan slip as I shook my head keeping it down, "it’s just rain..."


"Hmph..." He sighed taking a bite of his own food with a shrug, "I wonder what changed..."


Nothing...


"Whatever..." Cass rolled with a huge grin placing her hands on the table, "what I want to talk about is Duncan's party Friday!" I could see Jack lean forward from the corner of my eye, intrigued by the topic.


"What about the un-grounded party?" Vinny questioned as I looked up to see Jack shake his head.


"Nah, the rain's supposed to stop and it’s all gonna freeze..." He said with a disapproving pout, "no one’s gonna want to drive on ice like that to our party, we'll have more fun at Duncan's house!"


"Yeah!" Andrea beamed nodding at Jack, "besides Friday nights are better when you don't have to clean up Saturday morning!"


"We are all still hanging at my place on Saturday though!" Jack spoke pointing a hand around the table as I felt a hand creep onto my leg. I glanced up at Alex to see him watching Jack as he continued to move up my leg till his hand found mine sitting in my lap. I looked back at Jack as I felt Alex lace his fingers with mine to the one hand I hid under the table.


"Wait I can't go Friday night!" Marc groaned, "I have to finish my senior portfolio, I'm like so close to finishing!"


"Can you come Saturday morning?" Jack asked as I bit my lip to fight the urge to lean my head to Alex's shoulder.


"Yeah..." Marc nodded lifting his head from its thoughtful stance.


"Rad-"


"ALEXANDER!" A voice boomed in excitement as the boy yanked his hand from mine leaving my hand to hold the cold absence of the air. The whole gang looked up to see Mr. Peacock running towards us. Mr. Peacock was the drama and musical arts director at Dulaney high school for more years than anyone could remember. He was an older male but if it wasn't for his receding pale hairline and tired skin you wouldn't have a clue with the spunk in him. He ran toward us, his gray and blond hairs he had left sticking out in a unruly fashion as always, his shirt only half buttoned and half tucked in swaying to expose his white tee shirt as his ratty converse hit the linoleum floor of the cafeteria.


"MR. P!" The whole table beamed as the elder skidded to a stop, his weight being caught in his hands as they hit the table.


"Hey Mr. P what’s up?" Alex smiled leaning back in his chair.


"I need you guys!" The man grinned, "well not all of you, I need the musical ones, actually I'm sure your all musical I just need All Time Low this time around!" He rushed as the boys laughed.


"For what?" Rian smiled leaning his elbows on the table despite Cass's scolding smack.


"Well the freshmen have the select concert this weekend, but I mean let's be real, they're freshman, no one wants to see them!" The man explained while we all nodded in agreement with slight smiles, "but if no one goes they'll all quit, I have a lot of future talent in that room boys and if they don't get a good reaction, or any at all they won’t peruse it!" He exclaimed hitting the table before calmly pressing both palms to the surface one again, "what I need you boys to do is just play a little something at lunch sometime this week, anything, Hell play old McDonald for all I care just SOMETHING, then tell people about the concert, with you guys backing it, they will have all the confidence they need, and you don't even have to come to the concert, just tell people about it!"


For a moment the three band-members exchanged looks before my brother looked up at the music teacher, "but what about Zack?"


"Shit!" The teacher cursed under his breath before looking up at Rian again, "no way he can get out of school for this?" He questioned hopefully as my brother shrugged and shook his head. The older man sighed before looking between Alex and Jack, "you two couldn't have kept your bass player that went to this school?" He asked as the two laughed.


"Sorry PDog!" Jack sighed looking up at him.


"Can you go acoustic?" He questioned looking at Alex.


"What about Matt?" I asked softly as eyes shifted to me. "I mean I know he plays guitar but we all know it wouldn't be his first time holding a bass, sure he's no Zack, no one is, but it’s something..."


"Little nugget has a point!" Mr. Peacock pointed at me as the boys exchanged looks once again.


"I can talk to him, and worse comes to worse we go acoustic and Rian can borrow that Seth kids Cajon!" Alex nodded as I recall Rian explaining to me that a Cajon was basically a hollow block for a drummer to sit on for an acoustic set. I smiled looking up at Rian slightly proud of myself for remembering though he wasn't even looking my way as he nodded at his teacher.


"God bless you children!" The man sighed looking between them, "do it whatever lunch you wish, but Friday is the absolute last day!" He said as the three boys nodded. "AT GOD'S SPEED MY FRIENDS!" He cheered before waving to another teacher and taking off.


I watched the man run away as Alex found my hand again. It's a shame that after we all graduated Mr. Peacock would leave Maryland to not so shockingly move to Las Vegas with his own band and take up teaching music to students there as well. He was a good man and still is, if it wasn't for him I don't think the boys would have ever had the drive to make it as far as they have. I felt Alex squeeze my hand as I looked up at his soft smile, Andrea could think about the rain all she wants, and Cass and Jack could continue to talk about Friday, but all I could keep my mind on for the rest of that day would be how bad I needed and wanted Alex to just tell Jack already.



it was going to be a long few days...

Notes