Alex was gently woken by a tickle on his neck. He fidgeted a little and reached up to swat away whatever had woken him, but his hand instead brushed against something smooth and soft and warm. Jay was planting his little butterfly kisses across Alex's exposed skin, making him smile. He sighed and rolled over, his eyes immediately searching out Jay's.

“ ‘Morning Jay.” His voice croaked. He smiled and stretched his arms a little as he looked up at Jay, who was propped up on one elbow, grinning down at him.

“Good morning Lex, sorry for waking you up.”

He didn’t look sorry at all. His voice wasn’t cracked and dry like Alex's was, but husky and dark, it’s tone audibly matching his black hair and rich hazel eyes that were, this morning, chestnut brown flecked with honey and a hint of emerald.

“Mmm... You sound sexy in the morning...” Alex reached up and pulled Jay down by the front of his shirt for a lazy kiss.

He didn’t care about morning breath, because right now he could taste Jay. No peppermint or coffee or cigarette, just Jay. And in that moment, it was just them, and nothing else mattered. Jay pulled away, Alex still keeping hold of the front of his t-shirt. He smiled down at the boy lying in his bed with bright shining eyes and whispered “Wow...”

Alex looked up at him, smiling. “What?”

“Just... you. Being here with you. You lying next to me being the first thing I see when I wake up...”

“I know that feeling...” Alex pulled Jay back down for a quick kiss, and the smiled at each other.

“Breakfast?” Jay asked, making to get up out of bed.

“No, I wanna stay here with you...” Alex reached out and grabbed Jay by the arm, anchoring him to the mattress.

Jay crawled back on the bed next to Alex and, without warning, started tickling him. Alex squirmed and laughed as Jay mercilessly attacked his ribs, kicking his legs and trying to free himself from the duvet. Jay soon started laughing as well, and the two of them could have happily forgoten about the world, if it weren’t for a low, loud growl breaking though their laughter. The both looked down to the source of the noise: Alex's stomach.

“Breakfast.” Alex said with finality. He let Jay pull him up from the bed and lead him downstairs, hand in hand.

“So, I’ve got cereal, bread...erm, eggs... Not much else really. Sorry.” Jay said as he searched through the cupboards. Alex walked over and perched himself on the edge of the kitchen counter.

“So long as you have coffee, I’m fine.” Alex smiled.

Jay smiled back and reached up to the cupboard above Alex's head. As he stretched up, Alex grabbed the front of Jay's t-shirt and pulled him down into a kiss. Their lips moved together, creating warm, slightly wet friction. It didn’t take long for the kiss to become a little more heated, as Alex sat there with Jay stood between his legs, their chests pressed flush. Jay's hand crept up Alex's back and into his hair, gently tugging on the back strands. Their mouths moved in perfect synchronisation, their tongues sliding against each other, Jay holding Alex tightly around the waist. They both made small keening noises, moaning into each other’s mouths slightly, pressed as close as they could get. It was only when Jay's hand suddenly tightened in Alex's hair and he let out a long low moan that they pulled apart. They looked at each other, breathless, lips slick and red.

“Wow...”

“Yeah...”

“I...” Jay looked down for a moment, “erm...”

Alex followed his gaze to his own baggy pyjamas, only to find that he was semi-hard. Alex looked up at Jay and blushed. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Jay just smirked at him.

“Do you, er... want to sort that out?” Jay said as delicately as he could, it being obvious that Alex was embarrassed.

Alex looked down at his knees, avoiding Jay's gaze. “No, it’s.. er, fine. Don’t worry.” He hopped down from the kitchen side and scurried into the living room, where he picked up the TV remote and started flicking through the channels.

A few minutes later, Jay came into the room carrying two plates of egg on toast and two mugs of coffee. He set them down on the table while Alex carried on flicking through the channels, finally coming to rest on the news. He stomach felt like it had turned inside out, and his heart was trying to leap out of his throat.

“...was yesterday convicted of sexual conduct with a minor and abuse of a position of authority, and was sentenced to five and a half years in jail. Walker, 35, was arrested following a report that he had been having a relationship with one of his students. The girl in question, who cannot be named for legal reasons, gave testimony in court, claiming that they were ‘in love’ and that she would wait for him. They had been planning to run away on the girls eighteenth, but they were caught out by a fellow student...”

Alex quickly changed the channel, trying to act as though nothing had happened. Unfortunately, he had gone very quiet, and very pale, and very still, and Jay noticed straight away. “Alex... Lex, what...”

“I can’t let that happen, Jay.”

“Let what happen?”

“Let people find out about us. I can’t lose you, I just can’t.” Alex tucked his legs up and leaned into Jay's side.

The man wrapped his arm around the boys shoulder and kissed his temple. “Aw, Lex, that won’t happen, I promise. You said we can trust Tay, and I’m not going to tell, and you’re not going to tell. We just need to be careful, that’s all. Don’t worry, baby.”

“I just... I don’t want to lose you Jay. I love you.” Alex turned his head to look up at Jay.

He smiled back down, eyes shining. “I love you too, Lex.”

They sat quietly, watching some kid’s cartoons and eating their breakfast. Before he knew it, Alex was looking up at the clock, and reading 11:37am. He needed to get going before his mom started worrying. “Jay, I’ve got to go.”

“Aw do you have to really?”

“Yes, I do. I just don’t want my mom to worry, plus I need clean clothes.” Alex stood up to walk out of the room and upstairs, but he’d only taken two steps before Jay had caught him around the waist. He giggled as Jay started to kiss his cheek repeatedly. "Jay, stop being silly!” He giggled, laying his hands over Jay's. “I have to go...”

“Oh,” Jay said between kisses, “That’s... a shame... Isn’t it?” Jay kept kissing Alex's cheek, making the boy giggle, until his lips moved downwards to Alex's neck. He closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side, giving Jay more skin to explore and send shocks through with his lips. He moved back up Alex's neck planting his tiny butterfly kisses just bellow Alex's ear, before moving back down, right over Alex's pulse, making the boy shiver, and down to his collar bone. Jay moved slower now, the kisses becoming harder and longer, making Alex relax and his legs weaken. He leant back on Jay for support, letting his head completely loll to the side. Jay's teeth gently grazed along Alex's skin, making the boy lean back deliberately, asking Jay for more. He did it again, his tongue flicking out briefly to taste and tease Alex, making him moan.

“Ugh... Jay...”

Alex was breathless. He needed to get Jay to stop, but Jay had other ideas. He bit down a little harder on Alex's skin, pulling a little and dragging his lips over the sensitive area. His hands slid down from Alex's waist and came to rest on his hips, his fingers gently stroking back and forth through the fabric. Alex's legs were weak now, and there was very little he could do other than grab Jay's hands by way of support.

“Ja-Jay... Jay, I have to go...”

“Really baby?” Jay said, still sucking at Alex's collarbone.

“Yes, I do...” Alex straightened up as best he could, and turned around, giving Jay a hug. He could feel that there were both hard, and it wouldn’t take much to finish Alex off. “Let’s not do anything that’ll get us in trouble, yeah?” Alex muttered into Jay's chest.

“Bit late for that, but okay... Sorry.” He kissed the top of Alex's head and Alex went upstairs, his legs still feeling weird.

Alex walked into Jay's bedroom and closed the door. He grabbed his clothes from where they’d been draped over the back of the desk chair in the corner. He threw them down on the bed, but his thoughts were not currently about getting dressed. He lay down on the bed and shoved his hand down into his pants. He grabbed his hard dick and started to stroke it as fast as he could. He needed relief, and fast. Jay had gotten him so worked up, but as much as he’d wanted to, he didn’t want to do anything so intimate until he was eighteen. That way it would only be the school that stood between them. Alex threw his arm across his mouth to stop himself from crying out as he came. He quickly tried to wipe up the mess before pulling on his clothes from yesterday (and the day before) and hurried back downstairs. He picked up his hoodie from the hallways and pulled it on and picked up his bag, before walking back into the living room.

Jay was sat cross-legged on the sofa, sipping at his coffee. He heard Alex walk in and turned to look. “Oh, you really are going!”

“Yeah, I said I needed to go...”

“Oh, alright then.” Jay jumped up from his spot and walked Alex to the front door. They looked at each other for a moment before hugging tightly. “Last night was perfect Lex.”

“I know... I don’t want to leave, honest... But my mom-“

“Yeah I know... Don’t worry. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah. I love you Jay.”

“I love you too Lex.” They kissed briefly before Alex pulled open the door and headed home, his heart aflutter and his neck still tingling.

-

Alex came home to an empty house, which was strange as his mom was working night shifts. He walked into the kitchen to find a note stuck to the fridge. Typical mom, Alex thought, always leaving him notes where she though he was most likely to go to first. He peeled off the note and read it.

Out at Marie’s, going shopping after Text me if you need anything xx

Alex didn’t need anything right now other than a shower. He hadn’t washed since Friday morning, and it was safe to say he felt gross. He shrugged off his hoodie, kicked off his converse and went upstairs to the bathroom. He stripped off as fast as he could, being careful with his still sticky boxers, and took a quick look at himself in the mirror. His heart sank a little at his reflection. The hand shaped bruises on his hips had only become more pronounced, and there weren’t any marks from where Jay had been holding him.
His eyes travelled upwards, skimming over the green-yellow tinted hickies from Zack that formed a sort of dot-to-dot down his torso. His eye’s reached his neck, and his heart skipped a little. There, just where his neck and shoulder joined, was a red and purple-tinted mark. It wasn’t quite a bruise, it wasn’t quite a graze, but to Alex, it was beautiful. The raw colour radiated outwards like a rose in bloom, a flower blossoming across his skin. If he looked hard enough, he could just make out Jay's little teeth marks.

Jay had marked him. Alex was his.

---

“Alexander William Gaskarth, I don’t care how much you overdid it at the weekend, you are going to school!”

Alex pulled open his bedroom door and shouted down back at his mother. “I know, Mom! I’m up!”

That was the truth this time. Alex had been up since six, strumming away on his guitar. He glanced at the clock. 7:12am. Now was as good a time as ever to text Rian. Alex grabbed his phone from his bedside table and typed out his message.

To; Rian Dawson
- ‘Hey Ri, don’t bother picking me up 2day, got other plans’

He got up to put away the guitar, gently slipping the case back into the wardrobe, closing the door just as his phone buzzed with a reply.

From; Rian Dawson
- ‘Ok, care 2 share?’

To; Rian Dawson
- ‘Not now, long story, c u latr’

Alex shoved his phone into the back pocket and double checked himself in the mirror. He’d taken extra care with his hair, having finally bought more blonde dye last week and he’d borrowed some of his mother's makeup to cover up the hideous hickies on his neck that made his skin crawl. There had only been two on show; one on the side of his neck, and one peeking out from the top of his t-shirt. Thankfully they were small and easily concealed. Alex had left the one on his collarbone though, the soft red and now darker purple love-bite blooming across his skin. He teeth marks were cleared now, and he liked the way it looked. It reminded him that someone out there loved him, he wanted Jay to see what he had done, he wanted people to know that he was claimed, and he wanted Zack to know that he was not his.
Alex smirked one last time at his reflection, adjusted his fringe, which was beginning to curl around his eye, and hurried out of the room. His mom was in the kitchen, still in her work clothes from that nights shift. Alex knew that after he’d left, she’d be off to bed until later that evening.

“Morning, sweetheart, you’re up early!”

“Morning, Mom. Yeah, erm.... Ri can’t drive me today so I’m walking instead.”

“Oh, do you want me to give you a lift then?”

“Oh, er, no Mom, it’s fine. I’ll walk.” Alex walked over the coffee pot and poured himself a mug full of the hot, bitter drink.

He downed half of it one one go and set about making himself some toast as the silence between his mom and him was filled by the radio. By the time Alex had finished his toast, it was time for him to leave. He got up and checked his bag, making sure he had the books he needed, pulled on his hoodie and shoes, kissed his mom goodbye and stepped outside.
He stood on the porch for a moment, looking at the quiet world around him, the leaves dancing through the misty morning air. Alex took a deep breath, inhaling the earthy smell of the beautifully decaying world, and made his way to school. Normally, it would take no more than ten minutes to get to school, but that was by car. Also, Alex didn’t want to run the risk of Rian and Zack driving past and having to explain why he was walking, but also he didn’t want to face Zack. Not yet.
Alex took a slightly different route to school, and arrived in record time. He reached his locker, pulling out his earbuds and turning off his mp3, happy to see that Rian and Zack weren’t there yet, so he had time to sort out his locker. Being wary of any rotting clothing that may be lurking, Alex unloaded half his books onto the top shelf of his locker. Just as he closed his locker, spinning the combination lock, he heard a small cough to his side. He turned t see Jay grinning at him. No, not Jay, this was Mr Barakat, so long as there were other people around.

“Good morning Alex.” Mr Barakat chirped, fumbling with his keys and trying not to drop his box of files.

“Morning, sir. Need a hand?” Alex motioned towards the box.

“Oh, ah.. yes, that would be great. Thanks.”

Alex took the box and Mr Barakat unlocked the door to room 15, holding it open for Alex. He put the box down on the desk and sat on the edge of one of the tables.

“Thanks, Alex.” Mr Barakat walked in, letting the door shut behind him.

“Not a problem, sir.” Alex smiled innocently.

Mr Barakar walked over, and leaned over Alex, one hand either side of Alex's legs on the table. His eyes were heady lidded, his lips slightly parted. “You know,” He said, his voice low and husky, “it drives me crazy when you call me ‘sir’.”

Alex smirked at the man. “Oh, sir. Does it really, sir?”

Mr Barakat let out a low growl and lunged at Alex, pinning him to the table and kissing him hard. It took a moment for Alex to react, pressing back against Mr Barakat's lips. He lifted his left hand, running it through Mr Barakat's hair, tugging hard. The man moaned and pulled away, looking at Alex like a great beast about to devour its prey.

“Don’t pull my hair, Lex... You have no idea what it does to me...” he whispered out, his words heavy with lust. Clearly, hair-pulling was just as much a turn-on for Mr Barakat as it was for Alex.

“Sorry, sir.” Alex said, teasing him again.

Mr Barakat dived in for one last desperate kiss before pulling away, winking at Alex and taking the files from the box and putting them on the shelf as if nothing had happened. Alex remained seated on the edge of the table, swinging his legs and watching Mr Barakat organising the files. When he turned around to take out more folders, he spotted Alex and looked confused.

“Aren’t you going to wait for Rian and Zack?”

“I don’t want to see Zack right now, not after...” Alex trailed off, knowing that Mr Brakat knew what he meant.

“Oh, yeah... You know, you’re going to have to face him sometime. You’re all in this class first thing, remember?”

“Oh shit... yeah... And I’m meant to be working with him in music... Fuck.” The realisation hit Alex like an oversized comedy mallet. He really couldn’t avoid Zack for long. Not even for 15 minutes, according to the clock. “I... I just...” Alex stuttered.

Mr Barakat put down the folders and sat next to him on the table. “You what?” He put an arm around Alex's shoulders, comforting him and hoping to entice the words from Alex's mouth.

“I...” He sighed, “What do I even say? ‘Oh, hi Zack, refresh my memory for a moment, did we fuck?’ “

“Alex...”

“I know, I know... I’m sorry, I just... Seriously, what do I say?” He looked up at Mr Barakat, eyes pleading and searching the older man’s for some kind of hidden answer.

“You’re smart, Alex,” Mr Barakat gave his shoulders a quick squeeze and planted a kiss to Alex's forehead, “You’ll figure something out.” Mr Barakat looked down at Alex, but his eye's soon travelled to Alex's neck. He pulled the collar of Alex's shirt a little to better see the red mark. "Shit, did I do that?" he exclaimed, sounding genuinely surprised.

"Yeah... That's all your work. And I'm all yours." Alex said, trying to sound as seductive as possible.

He bit his lip and smirked up at Mr Barakat whose eyes suddenly lit up with a hungry desire. He lunged at Alex once more, his tongue gaining entrance almost immediately. It was short, but so full of passion that the memory would last Alex all day. Mr Barakat pulled back and hopped down off the desk, and went back to organising his files, so Alex slunk to the back of the room and into his usual seat, deciding to pass the time by gazing out of the window and listening to his mp3 again. He was blasting Alkaline Trio so loud, he didn’t even hear the bell ring for first lesson, and was completely unprepared when Zack and Rian walked into the room. Alex gasped slightly, momentarily froze, and turned his body slightly towards the wall as he pulled out his earbuds.

“Hey Alex! You alright?” Rian called across the room, taking his seat next to Alex, Zack settling himself on Rian's other side.

“Er, yeah, I’m okay. You?”

“Yeah I’m great. Friday was really good by the way, I was just saying to Zee...”

Alex hazarded a glance at Zack, who sat there looking like his normal self. He threw a small smile in Alex's direction, which Alex couldn’t help but return. Sure, Alex was kind of scared about what had happened, but he didn’t hate Zack. The rest of the class filed in, and soon Mr Barakat was doing his little “Welcome back, do your work” speech.
The class dispersed to their various groups, and Alex dug out his book from his bag. He’d taken it home in the hopes of getting a little more work done, but he’d had a somewhat busy weekend. Alex heard a small cough to his left and turned to see Rian stood there with an unreadable expression plastered across his face.

“Yeah?” Alex asked cautiously.

“What happened?” Rian said, his voice quiet and serious.

Alex swallowed. “Wh-what do you mean?”

“What happened on Friday after me and Cass left? Zack's been weird all weekend. He didn’t text me back or return my calls all weekend, and he jumped in the car as though nothing had happened. I know that means that something happened.”

Alex sighed. “Ri, it’s a long story, okay?”

“See, you said that this morning... Is it the same long story?”
Alex gulped, his mouth hanging open. Rian's eyes widened. Alex had been caught out. “It fucking is, isn’t it!”

“Ri, don’t-“

“What the fuck happened Alex. Tell, or so-fucking-help me, I’ll...” Just at that moment, Zack appeared in front of Alex's desk, silencing Rian mid-threat.

“Hey guys.” He said simply, not showing any specific emotion.

Rian straightened up and stepped back. Just then, Cass called Rian over to her group. “See you.” He hurried off, leaving Zack and a very awkward Alex alone together.

“Hey Alex.” Zack smiled down at him, looking perfectly innocent.

Alex couldn’t meet his eyes, he just couldn’t. “Hey.”

“You alright? You didn’t reply to my texts, or calls...” Zack sounded a little hurt, and Alex couldn’t stand it. He looked up into Zack's face and looked him in the eyes. Zack's eyes looked sad, but hopeful, and worst of all, full of love.

“Yeah, sorry, I was busy.” Alex said shortly, now unable to look away. Oh god, he felt like an ass.

Zack crouched down next to the desk, making himself eye level with Alex. He reached out a hand which, thankfully, Alex saw, allowing him to move his hands off the desk before Zack grabbed them. His face told Alex that Zack wasn’t suspicious of his movement.

“Look, I just wanted to talk about Friday... You know...”

“Yo, Merrick!” Tay yelled across the room, causing Zack to stop and sigh, before carrying on.

“I just wanted-“

“Zack, come on! We have work to do!”

“Just a minute Tay!” Zack shouted over his shoulder. He turned back to Alex, a small smile on his face.

Alex got the first word in though. “You should go. Tay get’s scary when she’s angry.”

Zack stood up and smiled down at Alex. “We’ll talk later, yeah?”

“Yeah sure.” Alex had no intentions of talking to Zack later.

-

For the rest of the week, Alex managed to avoid talking to Zack. Music lessons were a little more difficult, but thankfully they had to listen to music and do short reviews of each song. Alex pretended to be deeply engrossed in his work, ignoring Zack's hisses and whispers, trying to get his attention. Between lessons he wore his headphones most of the time, ignoring anyone who tried to speak to him. He accidentally really pissed off Jenna after she’d been calling out and chasing him down the corridor while he was blasting Of Mice & Men. He’d accidentally missed Patrick’s entire explanation of some really cute thing that Pete had done. Alex was still pissed off with Pete, and hadn’t spoken to him since he’d passed him on his way out of the comic store. Sure, Pete and Patrick were cute, but why did Pete have to hurt Matt like that, especially when he was so obviously ‘fragile’ in the first place. Alex couldn’t help but wonder how many new cuts there were lacing Matt's skin, all because of Pete.

Alex had also spent his break and lunchtimes tucked away in classrooms. Some time he spent in the art rooms with Tay, fetching and carrying brushes and paint, and talking about mindless nonsense like best friends do. The rest of the time he would be in room 15 with Mr Barakat. They tried to keep things strictly professional, but they couldn’t help it if they missed each other. There had been a very close call when Alex had been sat in Mr Barakat's lap, and Mr Barakat had accidentally forgotten that he’d asked a student to come back and see him about some work. Alex had dived over to the front table and pretended to be rummaging in his bag for something until the kid was gone. Alex and Mr Barakat had just laughed nervously at nearly being caught, and decided it should not happen again.

It was Friday afternoon, last lesson, Dramatic Arts. Alex had been working all lesson, trying to get his monologue just right. Although he had his earbuds in again, he was very aware of Zack watching him from across the room, eyes narrowed and shoulders hunched. Alex had carried on working the best he could though, and seeing as getting up to go to the toilet would involve walking right past Zack, when the bell rang Alex had no time to stay behind and talk to Mr Barakat, as he grabbed his things and ran across the hall to the boys toilets. He dashed into one of the cubicles (he never used the urinals, not after a certain incident involving a bunch of jocks, a urinal, cake and Alex's mouth) and relieved himself. As he tucked himself away again, he heard the toilet door open, but he thought nothing of it. However, when he opened the cubicle door, he came face to face with Zack. He could have sworn that his heart stopped as he looked up into Zack's icy eyes, filled with anger and pain.

“Er... Hi.”

“Is that it? Hi?” Alex's mouth hung open, not knowing what to reply with. Before he could even string two words together, Zack spoke again. “A whole week. You’ve been ignoring me for a whole week. Not only that, but you’ve been avoiding me too. The only times I’ve seen you is in lessons. Where the fuck have you been?” Zack sounded angry, but Alex knew well enough that anger was always Zack's cover for sadness. Even now he could hear the slight quaver in Zack's voice, the underlying hurt from Alex's avoidance.

“Zack, I... I don’t...” Alex honestly didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t tell Zack the truth, because that would hurt him beyond words.

“I... I’ve needed to speak to you... About Friday night.”

Shit.

“Zack... I-“

“No Alex. Let me speak.” Zack sighed and looked over his shoulder, checking the door. He turned his head back around, eyes meeting Alex's. “Alex, last Friday was... Amazing. I just... I don’t know what all this means. I mean, I’ve never done anything like that with anyone, and the way you’ve been ignoring me... It’s made me feel kinda cheap, but just-“

“No, Zack.” Alex cut in, knowing that he had to explain everything. “You want to know the truth?”

“Please, Alex. Just... explain.”

“Okay,” Alex took a deep breath. “Basically, I can’t remember what happened last Friday. I know something happened... between us. I just don’t know what. And I’ve been scared, okay? I’ve been scared of knowing the truth because, don’t take this the wrong way, but whatever happened I didn’t want to do anything... like that... with you.”

Zack just watched him for a moment. He blinked and a single tear rolled down his cheek, his mouth hanging open in shock and pain. He suddenly raised a hand and clenched his fist, making Alex instinctively duck. Zack froze and, without warning, turned around and lunged at the wall, bringing his fist down onto the mirror, the surface shattering under the force, silver shards tinkling to the floor and into the sinks. Zack held his hand against the wall for a few seconds, breathing heavily, hanging his head. He looked back up and took his hand away from the wall leaving a red smear on the exposed plaster where the mirror used to be. He looked at Alex, his face set and shoulders hunched.

“So what, that’s all I am to you? Just someone who was in the right place at the right time? Just someone to get you off?”

“NO!” Alex was shocked that Zack would think something like that. “Of course not Zee! You’re my best friend, but I was drunk, we were dr-“

“That is not a fucking excuse, Alex! I told you I loved you, and then you took control, not me! You took advantage of me!”

“No, Zee, look-“

“NO ALEX!” Zack yelled, making Alex stumble back a few steps into a cubicle door. “I’d never done anything like that with anyone, ever! You’ve been with people before, I haven’t! Alex, you were my first kiss, okay? My. First. Kiss. Then all that happened-“

“ALL WHAT HAPPENED, ZACK?”

“US!”

“Zack, I can’t remember!”

“What do you mean, you-“

“I mean I was so fucking drunk, I have no idea what happened, okay? All I have memory-wise from that night is a fuck load of hickies and two hand shaped bruises!”

The two boys stared at each other for a second, Alex out of breath from shouting, and Zack looking confused and still very hurt. Hey took a few deep breaths, not breaking eye contact.

Zack was the first to speak. “Bruises? Fucking bruises?”

“Yes Zack, bruises.”

“Can... Can I see?” Zack asked, taking a tentative step forwards, looking Alex up and down.

“Sure you can,” Alex said sarcastically, “It’s your handiwork.” Alex lifted the hem of his t-shirt and hitched his jeans down, exposing the majority of the marks.

Zack's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. “Holy... Fuck, Alex, I didn’t mean to... You just wouldn’t-“

“I wouldn’t what, because, see, this would be a good point to tell me what the fuck happened!” Alex dropped the hem of his shirt back down and Zack stepped back, swallowing guiltily.

“Okay, well... We, er, made out... A lot.”

“Yeah, I remember that much. After that, my mind’s blank.”

“Right, erm... You started touching me, and...”

“Oh god...” Alex felt terrible. This really was his fault.

“Yeah, and...um... I... I su-“ Zack sighed, scrunching up his face to prepare for the words to come out of his mouth. “Sucked you off.”

“Shit.” Alex whispered, bringing his hands up to his face and banging his head on the wall. This was not happening. This was not happening. The knowing was worse than the worry. Ignorance truly was bliss, in a way.

“Yeah, that’s what... erm... what the bruises are from, I think.”

“How? How did I get bruises from that?” Alex yelled at the wall, still not being able to face Zack.

“You... You wouldn’t stay still.” Zack said quietly.

“WELL YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING LET ME GO!” Alex shouted as loud as he could, banging a fist against the wall. His worst fears had been confirmed, Zack had forced himself on him.

“No, no, as in... You weren’t struggling, you... you were, erm... thrusting. Like, fucking my mouth...” Zack really sounded uneasy. Alex hoped Zack was feeling as awkward about this as he was. “I had to, like, hold you down... so I wouldn’t choke.”

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.” Alex covered his face with his hands and walked to the other side of the small room. “Oh my god, Zack... I ...”

“Look, it’s... It’s not a bit deal...”

“Yes it fucking is, Zee! I’ve never done anything like that either!”

“But you’ve had girlfriends before, you’ve-“

“I’ve done nothing like that before Zack. I never liked girls in that way, remember? Shit... How did we end up in your bed?”

“Well, I said... you were, like, touching me...”

"Fuck... Did I...like, jerk you-”

“No! Fuck.... no, just like... through my jeans...”

“Shit.” Alex head butted the wall again, and left his head resting there.

They stood in silence for a few moments until it became unbearably awkward. “Right.”

“So, what now?” Alex asked, finally removing his head from the cold, grey wall and looking at Zack who still looked somewhat shocked at everything that had happened in the last few minutes.

“What do you mean?” Zack asked, his expression unchanged.

“I mean, what now? Like... are we cool, Zee?”

“Er... yeah. I mean, I still want to be friends... Or, more than, or...”

“Of course I still want to be friends, Zee. You’re my best mate... I just. I feel really bad for, like, taking advantage of you, or whatever, because... I love you, but like a brother. You know that, right?”

Zack's face fell a little, but he nodded, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “I know Alex, I know... Anyway, me and Matt really hit things off.”

Alex grinned. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I was... pretty upset after waking up and you were gone-“

“Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. You understand, right?”

“Oh yeah, yeah! Totally! Anyway, we got chatting... He’s a really cool guy.”

“I knew you liked him.”

“Shut up, Pansy.”

“Watch your mouth, Princess.” They both laughed softly at the nicknames and smiled at each other briefly.

“You know,” Zack said after a moment, “things aren’t ever gonna be the same now.”

“Yeah, yeah... You know, Zee...”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s never talk about this again, yeah?”

“Geez... Agreed.”

“Look, I don’t even remember it, but it kinda counts for something, right?”

“I guess... Let’s just, like, hit the reset button, yeah?”

“Yeah, sure.”

They stepped towards each other and hugged quickly. “Now, Princess Zack,” Alex smirked, “Tell me all about your Matt in shining armour...”

Notes

And now we know what happened ^^