Login with:

Facebook

Twitter

Tumblr

Google

Yahoo

Aol.

Mibba

Your info will not be visible on the site. After logging in for the first time you'll be able to choose your display name.

Sit Back, Gotta Catch My Breath

This Is My Reaction To Everything I Fear

I checked my phone for about the seventh time in the past ten minutes. I wish Alex would just answer my texts. He didn't show up to school today, and he's not answering me, and I'm starting to get worried. Rian didn't know where he was, and neither did Cassadee or Juliet. Thankfully, Cass said she would drive to his house during lunch, which was right after this class.
Alex was acting kind of weird yesterday starting at lunch. It seemed like something was seriously bothering him, but he just kept telling everyone that he was just sore or that he was just tired. Which I know is bullshit. Something is bugging him, but he won't tell me what.
I sighed and checked my phone once again. Still nothing. I honestly don't know why I kept checking it. If I got a text, my phone would vibrate. But that didn't keep me from checking it over and over.
The bell rang and I basically jumped out of my seat, grabbed my stuff, and sprinted out of the room and down the hall to Cassadee's class. I waited outside the classroom door for her.
When she finally emerged, she gave me a reassuring smile. "Don't wory, Jack. I'm going straight to his house now. Rian already knows where I'm going so I don't even have to stop for him."
I nodded and followed her down the hall. "Okay. So, you'll text me as soon as you find out why he's not here, right."
"Yes, Jack," she said, heading for the front doors, "Just calm down, okay? Go eat some lunch. Keep Rian company until I get back."
I nodded and parted ways with her and headed straight for the lunch room. I went through the lunch line, got my food, and went to my usual spot at our usual table, where Rian was already waiting. I sat down and smiled at Rian nervously.
He sighed. "Jack, calm down. Seriously. He's probably just sick."
"If he was sick, he would text me and tell me he was sick."
Rian took a bite of his burger. "Not if he's busy puking his guts out."
I cringed at the disgusting thought, but he had a point. I sighed and began eating my fries. "Okay, fine. I guess that makes sense."
Rian nodded.
"So... when does Zack get back?" See, Zack had to go to California to visit his grandma who was really sick. He's been gone the past couple of weeks and should be returning soon.
"He gets home Saturday. So we can start band practice again next week." He smiled at me before taking another bite of his burger.
I nodded. "Sweet. Looking forward to it. We really need to get to practicing if we wanna get any better..."
"I know," Rian said, "But I think Zack had a pretty legitimate reason for leaving."
I looked up at him from my fries. "I'm not saying he didn't. I'm just saying..." I sighed. "... Never mind."
We sat there in silence for about ten minutes until my phone vibrated. I quickly pulled it out of my pocket and looked at it.

From: Cassadee Pope
No one is home. Neighbors said they left early this morning. Said they don't know why they left or where they went. Sorry, Jack.

I sighed. Just my luck.

To: Cassadee Pope
Okay. Thanks for doing this, Cass. See you in a bit.

From: Cassadee Pope
See you.

I put my phone back in my pocket and rested my head on the table.
"So," Rian said, breaking the silence, "What's the news?"
"No one's home," I mumbled, "And no one knows where they went."
"Damn. That sucks, man. Well, maybe something came up. I don't know. You and I can go over there after school if you want and see if they're home then."
I lifted my head and looked at him. "That would be awesome. Thanks."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I knocked on the door, hoping and pryaing that everything was okay and the reason they left this morning was because they spontaniously decided to get a puppy. But my stomach dropped when Alex's dad answered the door, his eyes red as if he had just been crying.
"M-Mr. Gaskarth... What's wrong?"
He sighed and looked at the ground. "Alex is in the hospital. He relapsed and passed out from loss of blood. I found him in his bed this morning. Apparently the cuts on his wrists were so deep that they actually needed stitches..."
I felt severely sick to my stomach as I listened to all of this. He explained to me that Alex was still unconcious when he left the hospital about an hour ago and that they said someone would call him when Alex woke up. And he's been waiting by the phone since the second they got home.
Oh, God... Alex... What could drive him to do this? I thought everything was going good. Amazing, at that. Something had to have happened to make him do this... But what?
After a few moments of silence, I finally spoke, a hint of tears in my voice. "Um... well, c-could you call me when he w-wakes up? Please?"
He nodded. "Sure thing, kiddo."
I nodded back at him. "O-Okay. My number is hanging on his w-wall." I turned away from him and returned to the car where Rian was waiting. I got in and buckled my seat belt. Right as Rian started to ask me what happened, I started bawling. Alex, my baby, my world, my boyfriend... tried to kill himself.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stood outside the room, waiting for my turn to talk to Alex. Right now, his parents were in there and I could hear Isobelle crying and asking Alex over and over why he did it. I shoved my hands in my pockets and took a deep breath, trying to keep cool. I had been bawling like a baby for about two hours before Alex's dad called. Then, he came and picked me up and we headed to the hospital, which is where we were now (obviously).
I began pacing back and forth again, trying to keep calm and not break down in the middle of the hallway. A few minutes later, Alex's parents emerged from the room. His dad nodded to me, giving me the go-ahead. I instantly passed by them and entered the room, closing the door behind me. I took a couple steps further into the room and stopped when I saw Alex. He was laying in his hospital bed, just staring at me. He looked as if he had just been crying. He was also paler than I had ever seen him and he was hooked up to a bunch of IV's. I crossed the room until I was standing by his bed-side, and we just stared at each other, not saying a word.
After a few moments of just staring at each other, Alex looked away and spoke with a raspy voice. "J-Jack... I'm s-so sorry... I... I'm s-sorry..."
I placed my hand on his, careful of the IV's. "Alex... Why did you do it?"
He shook his head. "I... I couldn't handle it..."
"Couldn't handle what, Lex?"
"Th-The guilt..."
"Guilt? What could you possibly feel that guilty about?"
He bit his lip and gulped. He laid there silent for a couple minutes before he finally answered, "... About... I felt guilty about..." He sighed and looked me in the eyes. "I felt guilty about... cheating on you."

Notes

And now you guys hate me even more.
But remember that I love you guys! :3

-Ryan

Comments

I like the ending! I'm writing mi first fanfic and its about Jalex comming out! One day! <3

RazzleDazzle RazzleDazzle
5/12/14

Oh my god nonononono thete has to be more!! Ryannnnnnn??!? More Jalex please :DDD

luckiness luckiness
4/10/14

Dammit Ryanna, I just caught up and I am going to hurt you at school tomorrow

ObiWan ObiWan
3/17/14

Just finished this story and it was amazing ^_^ I cried so much when Jack left ;-;

angel.butler22 angel.butler22
3/15/14

that was beautiful. -single tear-