Misery Business

What am I going to say? What am I going to say? What am I going to say? Alex repeated in his head about ten times more. Through the past three days, Victoria haunted his sight and dreams. He started having hallucinations, and that was when he knew the guilt was eating him alive.

His hallucinations got so bad that his vision mistook Lisa for Victoria. He remembered the way he kissed Lisa, his hunger for Victoria’s touch almost making him go all the way. But then he had leaned away, seeing his girlfriend’s face as she said, “What made you kiss me like that again?” To say he was disappointed was an understatement.

He ran up the stairs to her apartment, not wanting to wait for the slow elevator. He was still not sure as to what he would say as he knocked on the door about hundred times. He was surprised to see his own best friend, Jack, answer. He was even more surprised at the look he gave him. “What are you doing here?” The skunk-haired boy sneered.

“I need to talk to Victoria.” He tried to walk inside the threshold, but he was stopped by Jack’s arm blocking the doorway.

“Victoria’s not here right now. Leave a message after the beep.” Jack scowled.

Alex spied her head popping out of the corner of the threshold, curiosity written over her face. “Let me through, Jack.”

“No, I don’t think I will.”

“Dude, come―”

“Jack,” Victoria called, walking closer to the two, “let him in.”

“Are you serious?” The boy almost wanted to slam the door in his longtime friend’s face.

She nodded, putting her hands in her back pockets. Jack looked back at Alex, giving him the worst glare he could muster, before he walked out of the apartment. “Fine,” he had said, “but I’m going out for a case of beer.”

He slammed the door behind him, leaving Alex looking back to where Jack was standing with confusion. “I haven’t seen him that mad at me since high school.”

Victoria nodded shyly, looking down at the ground as Alex walked closer to her.

“Well, uh―hey.” He timidly smiled.

“Hey,” she threw him the same kind of smile.

He glanced at the ground. “I need to start planning out what I have to say …” He laughed lowly.

“What’d you come here for, Gaskarth?” She asked with a sigh. “If you came here to tell me that we’re ‘tempting each other’ again, then you might as well leave.”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said.” He blurted.

She lofted a brow. “About what?”

“I’m sorry.”

Her eyes widened. “What?”

“I’m sorry, Victoria. I’m sorry about all the bullshit I put you through. I know I’m a dick and all I do is put you through misery, but I never mean it. I’m a fuck up and that’s all I usually do. I don’t mean to, especially with you.” He grabbed her hands tightly, surprising her. “Please, forgive me.”

She was about to, for a minute. He could hypnotize her so much. She wanted to believe his apology, but―

She let go of his hands. “No,” she muttered, “you can’t just do this to me again. This is same bit you did when you forgot about me, and I’m not believing it again."

“This isn’t the same bit! I’m sorry! What else can I do to make you forgive me?!”

“You can leave.”

“No.” He shook his head, gritting his teeth tightly.

“Leave my place, Alex!”

He shook his head, repeating again, “No.”

“Why don’t you just leave and go back to Lisa?!”

He turned his back to her, walking close to the door. She became confused as she heard him laughing under his breath. “Why don’t I go back to Lisa?” He repeated her question, spinning back around to her with anger covering his face. “Oh, I don’t know―MAYBE IT’S BECAUSE I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU.”

He didn’t expect to say it as loud as he did, and he left her gaping at the mouth. She finally closed her mouth, grinding her teeth with anger. “You’re such a fucking liar …” She whispered to herself while looking down.

“I’m not lying.” He pulled her close, holding the sides of her face to have their foreheads meet. “I love you, Victoria. I love you so much.”

“Stop―”

He cut her off by molding his lips to hers. She grabbed onto his shirt to pull him even closer, her anger slipping away instantly at his touch. She couldn’t deny it anymore: she missed him. She missed him like hell. She believed him, but only because she felt the same. She loved him, and she wanted this moment to stay forever.

In the words of Brand New, she “needed him like water in her lungs.”

And just as she slipped her hands into his hair, they heard a timid voice from the doorway call, “Alex?”

He leaned away slowly, both their heads turning to the voice. He breathed her name out in disbelief: “Lisa.”

Notes

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