"You're so damn stupid," Jack mumbled to himself, holding the bridge of his nose as he let out a groan. "He probably won't even be back tonight."

The bathroom light was bright against his tired eyes. He couldn't even meet his own reflection in the mirror. What was it about Alex that made him so weak? The older boy, the one person in the world who knows they have Jack's entire heart and soul, disappeared to share those intimate moments with someone else. It was sickening and saddening, but Jack couldn't understand why he didn't just pack up his things and go home again. Probably because Rian and Zack were on their way over, and because for some strange reason, Jack actually believe that Alex would want to sit down and talk when he got home. Like, maybe there was some chance that going out with Lisa would only remind him of how much better his time was spent with his best friend.. But that wasn't very likely. Jack could never compare to Lisa.

Forcing himself to exit the bathroom, Jack made his way into the kitchen so he could steal one of Alex's cold beers. He was always much happier and more at ease when he drank, so maybe by the time his friends showed up, they wouldn't be able to tell he had a care in the world. He popped the tab and took out most of the can in one gulp. The bitter taste made him wish that he had thrown a party tonight. That would get his mind off of Alex, for sure.

With the beer in his hand, Jack ventured into the living room. The television was on, but the sound was mute, so when he heard voices shooting through the room, he knew they had to belong to someone in the flesh. He slowly turned his head to meet the front door. Alex stumbled in backwards, with Lisa's tiny body shoving him faster through the door. She kicked it closed with her foot, mumbled something under her breath, and connected her lips to Alex's so fast it seemed she would die without them. She backed Alex up against the couch, nearly knocking him over it completely, but the tall boy caught himself. Her small fingers gripped his hear, while his made their way to her hips. Jack could feel his stomach turn watching her grind on him. Where the hell were Zack and Rian- And would they be up to going out tonight?

"Let's go upstairs," Lisa mumbled into his lips. She grabbed one of his hands from her hip, and began to tug on it. But it wasn't until they broke apart fully and turned around to head for the stairs that they noticed Jack awkwardly standing in the middle of the room. His eyes were on them, but they were dazed by sadness. Lisa's face turned a deep shade of pink and she giggled. "Goodness, Jack, you're such a creeper!"

Jack wanted to say something rude to the small girl, but he knew that she had no idea that there was even anything going on between him and Alex. As far as Lisa was concerned, Alex was with her, and only her. Well, maybe another girl sometimes, but she never would have guessed that Jack and Alex were a thing. She hid her face in Alex's chest and giggled again. Alex wrapped an arm around her body, and stared shamelessly at Jack.

"I thought Rian and Zack were coming over?"

"Yeah, they are," Jack forced a smile. "But I think we're going to go out instead. Maybe hit up a club or something."

"That'd be good for you," Lisa mumbled from Alex's chest. "Maybe you could meet the girl of your dreams."

"That..." Jack hesitated, smiling when he saw a change in Alex's expression. Was that jealousy? "That's exactly what I was hoping for, Lisa. To find one person to make everything else seem less shitty."

Alex stared Jack down. Their dark eyes met, challenging the other to look away first. When neither of them did, Alex pulled Lisa from his chest and smiled faintly at her. "Wait for me upstairs? I need to talk to Jack about something."

Lisa nodded, strands of her dark hair falling in her face. She pushed them aside and grinned, standing up as tall as she could so she could kiss Alex on the cheek. He watched her body closely as he bolted up the stairs, excited to feel like Alex was finally hers.

"You're not seriously going to go hook-up with someone, are you?"

"What's it to you?"

"I just... Worry about you."

"Oh really? Well, don't bother. You'll be busy all night. You won't even notice I'm gone."

"Come on, Jack, you know it's not like that. I just-"

"You'd just rather be with Lisa, right? It's so easy for you to pretend that nothing ever happened with us, right?"

"No, not at all," Alex said with a serious face. "I just have a lot to figure out, and it'd be nice if you'd work with me while I do it."

"I'd be more than willing to wait on you, Al, and you know that. But I'm not going to sit here and listen to you make Lisa moan all night. If you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you're not about to go up there and do all the things with her that you just did with me, fine, I'll stay in."

Jack shoved his hands deep down in his pockets, while his front teeth began to dip deep into his lip. He almost felt bad for being so cold to Alex, it was something he rarely did. But the fact remained that Alex knew his feelings, and yet he was still willing to shove him to the side without a second glance. Jack watched Alex shift his weight, his eyes flickering from his best friend, to the stairs, where he knew Lisa would be waiting for him in his bedroom. Alex sighed loudly and ran a hand through his perfect hair.

"Jack, I can't just tell her to leave. She'll know something is up."

"So fucking what?" A cold laugh came from Jack's mouth. He shook his head, no longer feeling guilty. "Fine, Alex. Go be with Lisa, but while you're up there, think of me and how I'll be in someone else's arms tonight, too."

"Dude, that's not even right. I was with Lisa before I even knew you were gay," Alex whispered the last part, his eyes scanning over his friend. "How can you put me in that position?"

"Yeah, you were with her when you kissed me, when you wrote that song. You were with her when we were in the shower the other night, but that didn't stop you, did it? I might be your friend, Alex, but that's no excuse to see me any differently than you see her. Make your decision right now. If you go upstairs with Lisa, we'll go back to being friends and you can pretend that nothing ever happened between us, but if you stay with me, we can stay as happy as we were when we woke up this morning.. Before she called."

The moment of truth: What did Alex really want? He wanted to stay with Jack, because in all honesty, he felt more comfortable with his best friend than he ever had with anyone else. Jack knew his history, his problems, every single one of his flaws; and yet, he still wanted to make him feel complete. That was something rare to ever come by in life. Jack had been his best friend for years. Their friendship alone was something that Alex would never find again. There would be no one else in this world that he'd click with so well, and accept whole-heartedly.

However, when it came to Lisa, she kept him grounded. He knew that if he were with her, he'd try to be a better person, so maybe one day she would love him the way Jack did. He would have to make so many changes about himself to feel good enough for that girl, and that was something he was willing to try. There was nothing wrong with bettering yourself. The only flaw was, she wasn't Jack, and after everything that happened, Alex wanted to give his best friend a chance. The brand new feeling that made him so excited and scared. Wasn't that how true love was supposed to feel? But if he risked everything with Lisa, just to feel that love, he would never feel normal again.

"Alex, are you coming?"

Alex saw the pain in Jack's eyes as Lisa called for him. He really did feel awful. Alex may have been confused, but Jack knew exactly what he wanted, and he was watching it being ripped away from him.

"Jack, I'm sorry. I wish you'd give me time to figure this out... I can't change your mind, I realize this. Just know that whoever you end up with tonight.. I envy them."

Jack Barakat's heart shattered as he watched Alex head for the stairs.

　

Notes

Alex drama!
Thank you guys for caring so much about me not finishing this story. You're the best readers ever. If I could hug you all, I would. <3.