“Sir, we’ll do what we can, but you really have to wait outside, I’m sorry.” The nurse said, while I just stared at her, Jack’s heart wasn’t the only one that had stopped, mine had too.

The woman pushed me through the door while everything stopped moving around me. I leaned against the wall and slid my back along it, sitting on the floor by Jack’s room door. I covered my eyes with my hands hoping I could stop the tears from falling, but it was useless, since no tears were coming out.

You know when something happens, and it’s just so unreal it’s even harder to make yourself believe it happened? I stared at my sweaty hands, I stared at the ring on my finger, and everything, all the memories, the good and the bad ones, they came across my mind, like a painful flashback, a haunting nightmare that once had been my sweetest dream.

These memories started to fill my mind, I felt like my head was going to explode, I felt like screaming. I felt like punching the ground and hoping I would drown on a hole I would carve myself.

I thought of Jack, Jack’s cold body leaning inside a coffin filled with flowers. I started to picture my life, how would it be to visit him, to leave flowers for him, every single day, for the rest of my life.

Or maybe I could just end my life. Maybe god existed and would pity us. Maybe he would let us live together forever on heaven. I needed to see him again, I felt like I never told him what I really felt for him, how much I loved him, how much he meant to me. I felt like I never had the chance to say I’m sorry, to tell him this was all my fault and try to make him feel comfortable.

I suddenly started to overthink. Overthinking sucks, but it often helps.

Right now, it helped me realize Jack’s chances of surviving were almost null. It helped me realize Jack could be dead right now. He wasn’t coming back. Never again.

And then, only then, I allowed myself to cry.

---

I wake up with the sound of a baby crying. The bedroom is dark, there’s only the moonlight. I feel his warm arms around me, which feels perfect, since it’s a cold night.

I see he wakes up with the sound of the baby. He tightens his hug around my waist and lets a quiet moan escape. I turn around to face him, his dark hair covering his face. I smile, seeing he was smiling too, with his eyes closed.

“Wake up Jacky.” I whisper, playing with his hair, he just giggles.”She is awake.” I smile, she is awake, she, our daughter.

“You go there, you’re the mom.” He says, with his sleepy voice that filled so many memories, finally openning his eyes and smiling at me.

I get up and walk along the empty corridors of the house, following that weak noise. I enter a little pink bedroom, walking towards the bed at the end of the room, where I find this little brunette girl. I get her in my arms, she seems to cry even more, maybe she doesn’t like me.

“You’re never gonna learn are you.” I hear his voice. He comes from behind and hugs my waist, resting his head on my shoulder and smiling at the little girl on my arms, she stops crying in a second.

“How on earth do you do that?” I ask, turning around, hoping to give him a kiss, but he’s not there anymore.

The room is dark, I look at my hands and there’s only ashes.

“Sir?” A different voice. “Sir… excuse me?” A woman shakes my shoulder while I slowly openned my eyes.

I was back at the hospital, the white lights blinding me while the nurse whispered things I couldn’t understand.

“Is Jack okay?” I could find the strenght to ask, suddenly remembering the reason why I was on a hospital corridor, the woman smiled.

“He is fine, he’ll just have to take care now.” That’s what she said.

I couldn’t smile, I couldn’t cry. I didn’t know if I should thank gods, saints or the doctors, I was just trying to tell myself it was all a dream. Jack was okay, Jack was alive.

This wasn’t over yet.

---

"I love you." I hear him whisper, but I don't do anything, I just smile.

I knew exactly what day was today. It had been already one year since Jack left the hospital. I couldn't believe that after all we've been through, that's what awaited us. A comfortable house and a warm bed, just for us, our little private world, far away from everybody.

I was glad I had the chance to tell Jack I really loved him, but it was hard. Harder than I thought it would be. The words "I love you" can hide so many stuff, I would often tell Jack I loved him, tell him "I love you so so so much", but as time passed by, I learned it's not the number of times you tell someone you love him that is going to prove your love for him, it's the meaning you put on your words. It's the feelings you hide on your words.

You may think it's not enough, but it is. When you love someone, and this person loves you back, you're so sure about it, that this person understands what you hide behind your words.

You won't have to fake smiles anymore, because he'll know when something's not right. You won't have to hold back your tears, because he'll know when you're about to cry, and he'll make you smile before it happens.

Things you do with him, no matter how simple they are, will be always special, because there will be feelings hidden under those small acts, and you'll understand them, because that's what love means.

I never felt empty, but when emptiness finally consumed me, it was devastating. The only thing that kept holding me to the ground was Jack, and even far, he never left me, he always waited, even full of pain.

Now that we're together, I feel truly complete for the first time, and even if I don't find words to tell him that, I know he feels the same way.

"I love you Jack."

- Jack's POV -

"I love you." I whispered, knowing he was asleep, even though he smiled.

I looked at that photo and I couldn't believe I almost died that day, one year ago.

Now I looked around, and I couldn't believe that after all I had been through, that's what was waiting me.

The sun wasn't what kept the bedroom warm, what made it comfortable, was what was between my arms.

Alex was the man who changed my life, I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for him. He made me feel things I didn't even know that existed, feelings that you only understand if you feel them, if you live them.

He taught me loving someone is more than passionate kisses and living good moments together, no, love is much more than that. He taught me that, when you love someone, this person, no matter what race, gender, color, age, this person becomes part of you, this person becomes the only reason why you're still alive.

You want to make him feel good, but at the same time, you need this person to make you feel the same way. When you love someone, it doesn't matter if this person makes you feel pain, anger, hate, you'll still care for him, you want to see him happy so you can find your peacefulness, even if happiness means not being with you.

I often tell Alex I love him, even though I know I can never express with words my feelings for him. But I know he feels the same way, when he says he loves me, I don't doubt it, I just know it's true, because I feel complete.

When someone is part of you, when you can fully trust him, you know he feels the same way, and you feel complete.

Everybody needs someone, if you don't think you do, someday, you will feel empty, and when you find the right person to fill this emptiness, he won't have to prove you anything, you'll just know it.

"I love you Jack." I hear him whisper.

And thanks to Alex, I feel complete.

- The End? -

Notes

Yay.

So that was the ending of this fucking tiring story o-o

Thank you so so so much for the people who started reading it later and for the first readers. Thank you for the rating, the comments, really, they always would put a smile on my face. c:

This was the first fic I had ever written, ever, so I'm sorry if there are weird stuff.

It would be nice to make a sequel, like, Jacky and Alex with kids running around the house, but I need motivation and ideas.

I'm also working on my other fic, Homicidal, I really loved that man of you guys read it, thanks, it means a lot to me. <3

I disappeared for some days, but now that I'm back I decided to finish this, it's already 4am so I'm sorry if I mess with grammar and stuff.

Love you guys, and again, THANK YOU <33333333