Bulletproof Love
Being Selfish
Chapter inspiration: No Different – Tonight Alive
For the next few days, the record deal became all Victoria could think about. Her worries and sadness ate at her insides and twisted her in every shape or form. She didn’t want the guys to leave. She didn’t want Alex to leave. No matter how much she wanted the band to succeed, she didn’t want them to go. It was killing her inside.
Not just that, but there was also the issue with Nathan. Victoria had been noticing the way he eyed her as she walked through the school hallways with Alex. He had the same look in his eyes each time. A look that said, “You’re dead to me.” What would happen if Alex left? Would Nathan gang up on her again now that her boyfriend would be gone? But this whole situation could have just been her mind toying with her too. Whatever it was, the guys leaving only caused her more stressed than she bargained for.
Victoria’s parents had gone on a mini vacation to Maine for the weekend, leaving the house to their daughter. Alex came over early that Saturday morning, laying down next to her on the bed. She didn’t stir, not even when his weight shook the mattress. He hung his arm loosely around her waist, looking down at her.
He had to admit, it wasn’t the loveliest sight to see. Her hair was in a tangled bun and her eyelashes were the natural dark brown, not as long as they would be with mascara either. Her mouth looked like it was forcing itself closed as she slept, leaving Alex to guess she wore a retainer. Her cheeks were pale and not smooth, for makeup did wonders with her imperfect skin. He didn’t understand why himself, but for some reason, guys have this thought that every girl looks like a ray of sunshine in the mornings. But even through all of this, Alex could look down at his sleeping girlfriend in his arms and admit she was the most beautiful thing he ever laid eyes on.
He finally woke her up and got her lazy ass out of bed. He made her the best breakfast he could make, which consisted of Lucky Charms in her favorite Alice in Wonderland soup bowl. They laid around all morning, watching movies and anything that would entertain them.
Alex, on the other hand, tried to entertain by going on and on about how excited he was to meet with the record label. He went on a constant ramble of how great they felt and how he knew soon everyone would know their name. Victoria loved hearing this chatter, but it only gave her the never ending thoughts about how excited Alex was to leave her. The bigger question: did he even think about what would happen to their relationship with this record deal?
He had finally finished his babble and looked at Victoria with a smile, who couldn’t even fake anything anymore. She sat there, staring at him with a look of shock. He caught on to her mood and asked, “What?”
She closed her mouth and opened it again to mutter, “I can’t take this anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
She didn’t even answer him, only ran to her downstairs bathroom and slammed the door shut. She had been holding in her feelings about Alex leaving for so long that they suddenly just poured out. She sat on the tiled floor with her knees to her chest, sobbing into her shirt. She tried to push strands of hair away her eyes and sniffle her nose, but she only cried more. She hated crying, she hated it more than anything. Crying to her only meant she had given up on trying to be strong. But she couldn’t stop herself now, no matter how hard she tried.
Alex knocked on the door a few times, muttering, “Hamilton …” Knowing she wouldn’t answer to that at a moment like this, he then said, “Victoria … Victoria, please open the door.”
She didn’t even answer then. She continued to sob onto her knees. She kept trying to hold in her sobs, but nothing worked. She looked like a mess, sitting on her bathroom floor, crying her eyes out over some stupid boy. Were the dreadful old 80s movies right? Was this how relationships were supposed to go?
“Tell me what I did wrong.” He persuaded through the door.
Huffing her chest up to hold in her tears, she swung the door open, seeing his horrified face. “You’re going to forget about me, aren’t you?” She cried with a wobbling mouth.
“What do you―?”
“You’re going to go off and get a record deal, graduate, go on tour, and leave me here. You’re going to forget about me and leave me in this stupid shit town to rot until some other idiot comes around and says he loves me, only to leave me a year later. It’s a cycle, isn’t it? I’m never going to be happy?”
“Victoria …” He took a step closer, but she put her hand out to stop him.
“No, Alex. Spare me the petty remarks that ‘you’ll never forget about me’ and that ‘we can continue this relationship.’ You cannot continue a relationship over Skype and calls, Alex! You’re going to become a pen pal, and not my boyfriend. You might as well forget about me now!” Her voice became a shrill, the sobs finding their way back to her mouth. “I’m going to become nothing but a―”
“STOP IT!” He hollered then, causing Victoria to become static and looked at him in shock. “If you think for a second that you mean nothing to me, then I should just leave this house right now and never return, correct?”
She was utterly silent.
“And, yes, I will save you the petty excuses. So this is what I think on the subject: I’m not―nor will I ever―forget about you, Victoria.” He knotted his hands in his hair, stressed. “Do you even understand how much you mean to me? Do you understand that you’re the only girl I’ve ever been in love with? Let alone you were my first best friend? I don’t think you get at all how much I love you. And yes, a lot of guys say this―and they usually never mean it―but I will never love anyone as much as I love you. I don’t care if you believe it or not, because I know it’s true.”
She stood without one movement, continuing her lifeless stare at his angered form. The tears had stopped and left her cheeks feeling wet. The only movement she made was a shaking of her hands.
“SAY SOMETHING!” He yelled, making her flinch the tiniest bit. She had never seen him so angry before.
She cleared her throat softly, mumbling, “What will happen to us when you graduate?”
“Who the fuck cares?” He hit his hands at his sides. “Can’t we just live in the moment?”
They stared at each other for a good moment before Alex ran to her and molded his lips to hers. He picked her up and she curled her legs around his waist, not paying attention as he walked their shaped forms to her bedroom. They pushed themselves on the squeaky and old mattress, throwing their clothes to the floor.
As they connected their lips to each other once again, Victoria realized how selfish she looked for screaming at Alex. He was her guide through life and high school. Before him, she was looking for something to mask out pained and horrid life. She was looking for someone to take her away from her friends who couldn’t give two shits about her. She was looking for something to distract her from her stress, school, and grades. She found that something in Alex, and she had been selfish with him ever since.
And because of that, they might as well be selfish with each other for once.
For the next few days, the record deal became all Victoria could think about. Her worries and sadness ate at her insides and twisted her in every shape or form. She didn’t want the guys to leave. She didn’t want Alex to leave. No matter how much she wanted the band to succeed, she didn’t want them to go. It was killing her inside.
Not just that, but there was also the issue with Nathan. Victoria had been noticing the way he eyed her as she walked through the school hallways with Alex. He had the same look in his eyes each time. A look that said, “You’re dead to me.” What would happen if Alex left? Would Nathan gang up on her again now that her boyfriend would be gone? But this whole situation could have just been her mind toying with her too. Whatever it was, the guys leaving only caused her more stressed than she bargained for.
Victoria’s parents had gone on a mini vacation to Maine for the weekend, leaving the house to their daughter. Alex came over early that Saturday morning, laying down next to her on the bed. She didn’t stir, not even when his weight shook the mattress. He hung his arm loosely around her waist, looking down at her.
He had to admit, it wasn’t the loveliest sight to see. Her hair was in a tangled bun and her eyelashes were the natural dark brown, not as long as they would be with mascara either. Her mouth looked like it was forcing itself closed as she slept, leaving Alex to guess she wore a retainer. Her cheeks were pale and not smooth, for makeup did wonders with her imperfect skin. He didn’t understand why himself, but for some reason, guys have this thought that every girl looks like a ray of sunshine in the mornings. But even through all of this, Alex could look down at his sleeping girlfriend in his arms and admit she was the most beautiful thing he ever laid eyes on.
He finally woke her up and got her lazy ass out of bed. He made her the best breakfast he could make, which consisted of Lucky Charms in her favorite Alice in Wonderland soup bowl. They laid around all morning, watching movies and anything that would entertain them.
Alex, on the other hand, tried to entertain by going on and on about how excited he was to meet with the record label. He went on a constant ramble of how great they felt and how he knew soon everyone would know their name. Victoria loved hearing this chatter, but it only gave her the never ending thoughts about how excited Alex was to leave her. The bigger question: did he even think about what would happen to their relationship with this record deal?
He had finally finished his babble and looked at Victoria with a smile, who couldn’t even fake anything anymore. She sat there, staring at him with a look of shock. He caught on to her mood and asked, “What?”
She closed her mouth and opened it again to mutter, “I can’t take this anymore.”
“What do you mean?”
She didn’t even answer him, only ran to her downstairs bathroom and slammed the door shut. She had been holding in her feelings about Alex leaving for so long that they suddenly just poured out. She sat on the tiled floor with her knees to her chest, sobbing into her shirt. She tried to push strands of hair away her eyes and sniffle her nose, but she only cried more. She hated crying, she hated it more than anything. Crying to her only meant she had given up on trying to be strong. But she couldn’t stop herself now, no matter how hard she tried.
Alex knocked on the door a few times, muttering, “Hamilton …” Knowing she wouldn’t answer to that at a moment like this, he then said, “Victoria … Victoria, please open the door.”
She didn’t even answer then. She continued to sob onto her knees. She kept trying to hold in her sobs, but nothing worked. She looked like a mess, sitting on her bathroom floor, crying her eyes out over some stupid boy. Were the dreadful old 80s movies right? Was this how relationships were supposed to go?
“Tell me what I did wrong.” He persuaded through the door.
Huffing her chest up to hold in her tears, she swung the door open, seeing his horrified face. “You’re going to forget about me, aren’t you?” She cried with a wobbling mouth.
“What do you―?”
“You’re going to go off and get a record deal, graduate, go on tour, and leave me here. You’re going to forget about me and leave me in this stupid shit town to rot until some other idiot comes around and says he loves me, only to leave me a year later. It’s a cycle, isn’t it? I’m never going to be happy?”
“Victoria …” He took a step closer, but she put her hand out to stop him.
“No, Alex. Spare me the petty remarks that ‘you’ll never forget about me’ and that ‘we can continue this relationship.’ You cannot continue a relationship over Skype and calls, Alex! You’re going to become a pen pal, and not my boyfriend. You might as well forget about me now!” Her voice became a shrill, the sobs finding their way back to her mouth. “I’m going to become nothing but a―”
“STOP IT!” He hollered then, causing Victoria to become static and looked at him in shock. “If you think for a second that you mean nothing to me, then I should just leave this house right now and never return, correct?”
She was utterly silent.
“And, yes, I will save you the petty excuses. So this is what I think on the subject: I’m not―nor will I ever―forget about you, Victoria.” He knotted his hands in his hair, stressed. “Do you even understand how much you mean to me? Do you understand that you’re the only girl I’ve ever been in love with? Let alone you were my first best friend? I don’t think you get at all how much I love you. And yes, a lot of guys say this―and they usually never mean it―but I will never love anyone as much as I love you. I don’t care if you believe it or not, because I know it’s true.”
She stood without one movement, continuing her lifeless stare at his angered form. The tears had stopped and left her cheeks feeling wet. The only movement she made was a shaking of her hands.
“SAY SOMETHING!” He yelled, making her flinch the tiniest bit. She had never seen him so angry before.
She cleared her throat softly, mumbling, “What will happen to us when you graduate?”
“Who the fuck cares?” He hit his hands at his sides. “Can’t we just live in the moment?”
They stared at each other for a good moment before Alex ran to her and molded his lips to hers. He picked her up and she curled her legs around his waist, not paying attention as he walked their shaped forms to her bedroom. They pushed themselves on the squeaky and old mattress, throwing their clothes to the floor.
As they connected their lips to each other once again, Victoria realized how selfish she looked for screaming at Alex. He was her guide through life and high school. Before him, she was looking for something to mask out pained and horrid life. She was looking for someone to take her away from her friends who couldn’t give two shits about her. She was looking for something to distract her from her stress, school, and grades. She found that something in Alex, and she had been selfish with him ever since.
And because of that, they might as well be selfish with each other for once.
Notes
Sorry this came out 3 days date, lovelies x( I've been swamped with school work, it's insane. But I hope you enjoy the new chapter! :3Rock on \m/ :D
Why is this story still on the Popular page I DON'T UNDERSTAND???????
I ENDED IT 5 MONTHS AGO HOLY CRAPOLA
5/11/14