I noticed both boys still out cold, I climbed out of my bed and walked over to my door. I opened my bed room door. I stepped out and walked down stairs wiping my eyes with my hands. I headed into the kitchen and sitting on the counter was a note.

Fava bean,
I will be back later, your mother went shopping with some lady and I had to go do some stuff for work. Left moneys in the secret hiding place. Order whatever you want and I recorded Sponge bob for you, it was a really funny episode.
Love you talk to you later. Fasha.

I smiled at the little references he made. Leave it to my dad to record Sponge bob. I took the note and folded it up. I left it on the counter. I pulled out bacon and eggs. I started the bacon and turned on my speaker hooking up my phone. I clicked on my sunday playlist. First song to come on was Blue Oyster Cult's Don't fear the reaper. I danced and fixed the bacon and eggs. I heard someone behind me and jumped.

"Fucking shit! Don't scare me like that!" Alex's eyes were wide open. "Sorry." "It's ok. Morning." I said. "Morning." He said back. "You hungry?" I asked grabbing plates out of the cabinet. "Yeah." He said. He stood behind me against the counter. "Do I need to go put on clothes..." Alex asked. "Nah, both my parents are out." "You seem so chill with your parents." "Depends which one your talking about, My mom hates me and my dad loves me to death." "Hmm... Why?" "Why, what?"

I turned to look at him holding three plates. "Why does your mom hate you?" "I did something I shouldn't have and it cost us something very important." It was true my mom blamed me, for good reason too. My dad was afraid I'd go crazy and that's why we have such a good relationship. "Come on, let's go wake up Skunk boy." I handed Alex his plate and grabbed a gallon of OJ out of the fridge. We headed up stairs. We walked into my room. "Jack!" I said.

Alex walked over and sat on his chest. "Hey Barafag, Wake up the woman made bacon." Jack sat up so fast Alex flug off him and slammed to the floor. I laughed and rolled on the floor. "Here, come get your plate." I said holding out his plate. He rolled off the bed and sat next to me. "God this bacon's awesome." Jack said. "It's just bacon." "No, it's different." "I guess, my dad works with this company and he gets bacon from Tennessee called Benton's Bacon." "Yes, delicious." He said shoving another piece in his mouth.

I walked over to my dresser. "I'm gonna get dressed." I said taking my clothes to my bathroom. I walked in a stripped down. I didn't once look at myself in the mirror, only for fear of throwing up my food. I put on my bra and panties and slipped on my sweater. I pulled on some black skinnies and left the bathroom. "Well, don't we look nice. What are we doing today?" Jack asked. I shrugged throwing my clothes in the dirty hamper. I grabbed some socks and slipped them on. "I don't know, what should we do?" "Well we do have band practice at some point today." Alex said.

"Y'all are in a band?" "See there's that word again." I smacked Alex's arm. "You leave me alone." I said. He laughed and pushed me over. He climbed on top of me. "Never. Jack arms." Jack scooted over and started to tickle me. I was laughing uncontrollably as Alex's finger traveled over my stomach. "stop." I laughed. "No." He said with a laugh. I suddenly became panicked. I could feel my cuts from yesterday opening. "Alex for real, stop." I said. "No-" He stopped the rest of his sentence.

I noticed part of my shirt was pushed up. My face got bright red and I ripped my arms out of Jack' grip and pushed my shirt down. Alex climbed off me. "I'm sorry, We don't have to talk about it... I just... I haven't know you long but I need you to stop..." I sat with my knees pulled up to my chest. "What?" I asked. "I need you to stop... You don't deserve that." "I really don't wanna talk about it..." I said. He nodded. "What did I just miss?" Jack asked. I turned to him and lifted the bottom of my shirt, showing my cuts and scars.

"You don't have to tell us anything... I mean not unless you want to..." Jack said. "You guys are the first to even find out I did this." I looked up at both their faces while I played with my fingers, almost as if I was nervous of something. "Please don't call me names?" I asked in a low voice. Alex scooted closer and pulled me into a hug. "We would never call you names." I released a breath I didn't even know I was holding it. "Why would anyone call you names?" Jack asked.

I pulled from Alex. "I ran out of room for anywhere new so I wait until they heal then I cross over them again... kids called me Tic Tac... Like Tic Tac Toe." I said. They both just stared at me. "I'm really messed up." I said. I wiped some of my tears of my face. "Hey, don't cry. Anything you did or think you did probably isn't as bad as you think..." Jack said taking my hands in his. "Thanks... One day you guys will know but I'm not ready to talk about it..."

Jack let go of me and I stood up. They both stood up. "We should probably get to the meeting now..." Alex said. "Yeah, Will you come with us?" Jack asked. "I mean I don't have anything better to do." I said. They smiled. "Come on!" I grabbed my phone and wallet and we ran down my stairs. I shuffled my fingers through my hair as we left the house and I locked the door.

Alex grabbed my hand and pulled me to Jack's drive way. "Alright, Ladies get front-" "So Jack get's front is what you're telling me." Alex fell to the ground and started to roll around laughing. Jack stood there with his mouth agape and arms crossed. "Really?! You like to kiss girls?!" He shouted. "Sure, why not." I walked over and got in the back seat laying across the seats. They both got in, Alex still had the giggles.

Jack leaned over and turned on the radio. Green Day came on. "Wake me up when September ends..." I sang. I didn't look at anyone for fear of crying. This song spoke volumes to me. It helped me get over Tricia enough to go back to school. The song ended. "Paige?" I shot my head over and looked at them. "Huh?" "Are you ok? We've been trying to get your attention." "Sorry just got lost in the music." They both just stared at me.

We pulled up to a house and we all got out. "So who's house is this?" I asked. "Rian's. We practice here more often... It's a pain to move his drum set." We walked up to the door and knocked. Rian answered. "Hey, guys. Hey, Paige." I waved. We all walked inside. We followed Rian down to his basement. They had guitars set up and some basses along with Rian's drums. "Oh hey!" Cass said. I sat down next to her. "So what did you end up doing last night?" Cass asked. "I hung out with Alex and Jack, they came over and spent the night."

"Your parents just let them do that?" "Yeah, they don't really care. My dad trusts me and my mom doesn't talk to me." She just nodded. "What did you do?" "We sat on my roof, did never have I ever." "She's awesome at making food, She made breakfast this morning. God it was awesome." Jack said walking over and sitting on my lap. "All it was was eggs and bacon." "No! The greatest bacon known to man." He said. I laughed and shook my head.

"Sounds awesome." Rian said. "Do you guys wanna start now?" Zack asked. Jack hopped off my lap and walked over pulling a guitar over his shoulder. They all put on their instruments. "Alright, do you wanna start with Jasey Rae?" "Yeah, that's fine." Rian said. They all started and Alex sang into the mic.

"Lights out,
I still hear the rain,
These images that fill my head,
Now keep my fingers from making mistakes,
Tell my voice what it takes,
To speak up,
Speak up,
and keep my conscience clean when I wake.

Don't make this easy,
I want you to mean it,
Jasey. (say you'll mean it)
You're dressed to kill,
I'm calling you out, (don't waste your time on me)

Now there's an aching in my back;
a stabbing pain that says I lack,
the common sense and confidence,
to bring an end to promises,
that I make in times of desperate conversation,
hoping my night could be better than theirs in the end.
Just say when.

Don't make this easy,
I want you to mean it,
Jasey. (say you'll mean it)
You're dressed to kill,
I'm calling you out, (don't waste your time on me)

I've never told a lie,
and that makes me a liar,
I've never made a bet,
but we gamble with desire,
I've never lit a match,
with intent to start a fire,
but recently the flames,
are getting out of control.
Call me a name,
Kill me with words,
Forget about me,
It's what I deserve,
I was your chance,
to get out of this town,
but I ditched the car,
and left you to,

Wait outside,
I hope the air will serve to remind you,
that my heart is as cold as the clouds of your breath,
and my words are as timed as the beating in my chest."

They finished. I sat there in shock. They were amazing. "So what did you think?" Alex asked. "Y'all are awesome." I said. They just smiled. "You said "Y'all" again." Jack said giggling. "Yeah whatever, it's my accent so get over it." I said leaning back. Alex came over and sat next to me. "That's ok, I like southern accents." "Well good, cause I can't change it now." 'Hello there, the angel from my night mare...' I stood up off the couch and pulled my phone out of my pocket.

Me: hello.
Dad: Hey, I was wondering what you wanted for dinner?
Me: Anythings fine.
Dad: We're having seafood gumbo then.
Me: Alright.
Dad: Also, the rest of our stuff came today, I had the movers put all your stuff down in the basement. I figured you'd turn it into a fun room anyways.
Me: Yes! God your awesome! I'll be back soon I wanna set it up!
Dad: Love you talk to you later.
Me: Bye, Love you too!

I hung up and turned back to the guys with the biggest smile spread across my lips. I couldn't control myself. "What was that about?" Alex asked. "Do you really have to go?" Jack said. "Oh yes! The rest of my stuff from the old house came today and I really wanna set it up." "What kind of stuff?" Rian asked taking my old seat next to Cass. "Well, It's the stuff I used to have in my old basement. So my Foosball table, Air hockey, Pool table, Pin ball machine, and some random instruments I've learned to play. It sounds like a lot but I saved up all the money to buy all the stuff I have in there. All except for the punching bag I hang up, my sister bought that."

"A punching bag?" Zack asks. "Yeah, my sister liked all that exercise stuff. I helped train her for her first marathon." "Wait you have all those toys and stuff and we're still sitting here?" Alex asked standing up. "What, do y'all wanna help?" "Duh. Can we play with it when we're done?" Jack asked jumping up and down. "Yeah. Y'all can stay for dinner too, my ad's making gumbo."
We all ran up the stairs and out to Rian's and Alex's car. Rian and Cass rode in his car and the rest of us in Alex's.

Zack and I sat in the back. "so what kind of stuff is your sister into?" He asked. I turned to him. "She loved running and she thought weight lifting was cool. She was also and awesome people person. She loved to help people, she would frequently on holidays drag me down to a shelter to help. She was an awesome person. She also used to volunteer at the animal shelter back where we lived." I hadn't even realized a tear rolled down my cheek till Zack leaned over and wiped it off my cheek.

"Sorry." I said and wiped my face off with my sleeve. "Your fine, Paige where is your sister?" I looked at him and then tilted my head up, trying to bat the tears from streaming down my eyes. "She's buried in a cemetery back in Georgia..." I tilted my head back down and I was unable to keep the tears from falling. "Hey, it's ok." If only you knew what happened. I nodded and wiped my eyes. We pulled up to my house and I got out of the car.

I walked up to my front door just as Rian and Cass pulled up. I held the door open and they all came in. I walked into the kitchen but didn't see my dad. I shrugged it off and headed down stairs. I walked down and sitting on the floor cross legged was my dad. "I set up the projector and painted this wall- What's wrong?" He asked motioning me over. "Nothing, I'm fine. What are you watching?" I asked taking a seat next to him. "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate factory." "Your favorite." "Yep, Oh hi." My dad stood up seeing all the guys come down the stairs.

"I'm Paige's dad, Y'all can call me Jon." "Cool, nice to meet you Mr.Jon." Rian said and shook his hand. "Senor, this is Cassadee, Rian, Alex, Zack and Jack." "Nice to meet y'all." My dad turned to me. "Told you this was for the better." He said in a whisper before going upstairs. I turned off the movie. "Alright well, the trailer is probably out back." I said walking over tot he doors. I opened them and stepped outside. I lifted the door on the trailer and there was all my stuff.

I pulled out some of the stuff in the front. "Alright, Zack you wanna help me get the pin ball machine. We gotta be super careful. It's a collectors Tom and Jerry one." "Ok." He jumped on the trailer and helped pull it off we walked it inside. "How should we set up the room, Cass?" "Umm... Put pin ball there in that corner and then put your pool table here. Oooh, then put the Foosball tabled over there." "I have some furniture to go down here too."

The boys helped pull more stuff off the trailer. The pool table took all of us and my dad. "In all my years Paige Elizabeth I've never seen a pool table with yellow felt." My dad said. I rolled my eyes. "I don't like green..." I said. He sighed. "I know..." He turned and went up stairs. I pulled out the pool ball and set them on the table. I put the cues up against the wall. We already moved all my black leather couches, ottoman, and love seat set down.

I laid across my rug, in front of the couch, face first. "Uggghhhh...." I said. They all plopped on the furniture. "What's wrong?" Alex asked. "Nothing." It really wasn't anything... all my stuff just smelled like my sister. "Well, Do y'all wanna watch a movie?" I asked. "Sure." "What movies do you have?" Jack asked. "I don't care go pick one out off that book shelf." I pointed to the corner. He got up and walked over.

"Guys! Can we watch Home Alone PLEASE?!" Jack begged holding the movie. "Jaaaack..." Alex said falling off the couch, landing next to me. "Really Jack?" Zack asked. "Please?" He asked again. "Here, just give it to me. I'll put it in." I said holding out my hand. Jack ran over and handed me the movie. I put it in the player and turned it on. I came back and sat on the floor in between Alex's legs.

We watched the movie and Jack constantly got yelled at for knowing all the words, and saying them during the movie. We all headed up stairs and into my kitchen. "Under the sea! Under the sea! Darling it's better down where it's wetter, take it from me!" We could hear my dad singing. I stepped into the kitchen and everyone followed. "Hey. Nice singing Ariel." I pulled a shrimp out of the gumbo and popped it into my mouth. "I have a glorious voice thank you."

I laughed while holding my mouth open cause the shrimp was hot. "Ha. That's what you get for making fun of me. If you want you can go set the table now." I walked over to the cabinets with my mouth open. I grabbed the plates and silverware and took them to the dinning room. Everyone followed me. I set the bowls down and pulled at table cloth out of the dinning hutch. "Here, grab the end of this." I said and shook the table cloth over the table. Alex grabbed the end and fixed it.

I laid out all the stuff and went back into the kitchen. I grabbed the pot off the stove and took it to the table. Everyone sat down. My dad walked in with my mom behind him. "Hey mom." I said and gave a smile. "Hello." "These are Paige's non-imaginary friends." My dad said. Jack laughed a little too hard at that comment like he did the first time. "Nice to meet you guys." She said and took her bowl and left the room.

"Sorry bout that, she doesn't feel good." My dad said. I rolled my eyes and kept eating. Everyone finished. "Alright, I'd love to stay longer but I have to get up early to be at work, and Cass has to get home." Rian said. "Oh, Dawn wants you there around six..." He said standing up. I stood up and showed them to the door. "Thanks for hanging out." I said giving the two of them a hug. "Your welcome, we had fun. Defiantly coming back over soon." Cass said. I smiled and closed the door behind them.

I helped my dad take all the dishes to the kitchen. "You go hang out, I'll clean dinner." "Dad that's not the deal." I said trying to pick up the dishes. He swatted my hand and hissed at me. "Jack! Come get this woman!" He yelled. Jack came into the room and pulled me out. I just laughed as he pulled us both backwards over my couch.

"I have one more thing to show you guys if you want?" I asked. "sure." Alex said. I got off the couch and we walked up stairs. Instead of going to my room I took a left at the top. I opened the door and inside was a room full of instruments. Basses, Guitars, a piano, 2 banjos, and a drum set. "Mother Of God..." Zack said following the boys into the room. "Woah..." Jack said. They just stared. "Y'all can play with them." I said sitting on one of the stools in there.

Alex and Jack ran over to my guitars and Zack to my basses. I sat there leaned up against the wall. "Do you know how to play all these?" Zack asked. " Yeah, I don't play anymore though..." "Why?" Alex asked pulling one of my electric guitars over his head. "Cause I haven't since I bought the Gibson for my sister." "Why?" Jack asked. "Cause I promised to teach her how to play but I never got the chance..."

"That doesn't mean you should stop." Alex said. I just nodded. He walked over and handed me an acoustic. "Play something." "I can't." I said pushing it back. "Please Paigie?" My eyes shot up to Alex's as I took the guitar from his hands. My sister used to call me Paigie. "Ok..." I pulled the strap over my shoulder and started to strum the opening to a song I wrote.

"I fall in, letting sleep take me in.
I love you, Always will.
Burns does the taste of your life in my mind.
I love you laugh, your voice.
My life's empty without you here.

I said somethings that I take back everyday,
But you, you don't come back.
I broke you and I'm sorry.
I tried to put your pieces together but life is different then china.

I fall in, letting sleep take me in.
I love you, Always will.
Burns does the taste of your life in my mind.
I love you laugh, your voice.
My life's empty without you here.

I held you tight,
Your light gone.
I breathe a sigh and carry on.
I love your life and memories are all that remains.
I will never forget.
Could never forget.
Will never forget."

I finished and no tears were shed, no one. I never cried while playing, it always made everything better. I pulled the guitar off my shoulder. "That was incredible." Alex said. "Thanks." "You wrote that?" Zack asked. "Yeah, about my sister. I played it at her funeral." "You have an amazing voice." Alex said. "Thank you, you should have heard hers. I swear hers was like angels." I said while looking at the ground. I felt a tear fall.

A hand came down on my shoulder and I looked up at Jack. "I'm ok, I'm fine." I said and wiped my face. Alex's phone started to ring. "Yeah, mom. Alright." He hung up. "I gotta go, come one Zack I'll give you a ride home." "Here let me walk you out." I said putting down the guitar and walking down the steps. "Nice to meet you guys!" My dad yelled from the living room. "You too, Mr. Jon!" Alex yelled back. I gave both of them a hug and closed the door behind them.

Jack grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs to my room making me sit down on my bed. "What?" I asked. "You need to tell me what's going on in here." He said pointing to my head. "Nothing-" "Bull. Please tell me, you can trust me." I bit my lip. "Jack, like I said yesterday, I'm a terrible person." "I don't believe you." "I ruin peoples lives, I ruined my mom's life and my sister doesn't even have a laugh anymore." "What do you mean?"

"About 2 years ago, my sister was begging me to hang out with me and I didn't want her to but she was being so annoying. I said yes, I took her with me to a party and I was being a grade A dick and kept ditching her and every time I did I got pulled away to do something. Drinking, smoking, pills I mean anything anyone was willing to share I was taking." I took a deep breath I thought I was talking so fast, and I could feel the lump in my throat forming.

"She came up to me crying and said that someone at the party tired to 'hurt' her. I got furious and was upset with her and myself. I started yelling at her with things like: I never should have taken you! You ruin everything! I hate that you're my sister! I pulled her out to the car and I got in and pulled out of their house. She was crying and my head was exploding. I just wanted her to stop crying." I bit my bit and closed my eyes continuing to tell Jack what happened.

"I turned and told her: If you don't stop crying I'm gonna beat the shit out of you! God you're such a whiny bitch sometimes! I hate you!" I pulled my hands up to my head holding my hair. "And that's when I looked back up and saw the head lights! It was too late to turn! They slammed into us and the next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital. My dad was holding my hand. I asked what happened and he gave me a hug."

"I asked him again and he kissed my head and said 'I'm so glad you're alright...' I asked 'Where's Tricia? Is she ok?!' And he shook his head and I started to cry. I hated myself. I killed my sister and It was all my fault and I should have protected her but instead I took the life away from her. I got my license taken away for a year for being under the influence of drugs while driving. I started to cut and all my friends turned on me and called me out. Called me terrible things and and they made me wanna die, even more than I did when I found out my sister was gone."

I looked at Jack. I sounded terrible all my face was red and my eyes puffy. "I tried to kill myself a couple months after it happened. I cut my wrists and took pills, I passed out but I woke up the next day. I was saved that day because I need to be punished to remember my sister for the rest of my life." I cried. Jack pulled me into his arms. "Paige, I'm sorry." He pet the back of my head while I cried and clinged to his shirt. "I'll help you..." Jack said. I sniffled and pulled away from him. "What?" "I'll help you, you can stop this. You don't deserve to die. You were saved that day because your sister forgives you and knows how much you care, she knows your sorry."

"Jack-" I started. "Paige. You don't deserve to die." He said again. I nodded and he pulled me into his chest again. I cried a little more and he leaned himself against my head board of my bed. I was cuddled into the side of him. I cried so much I had no energy left and I fell asleep next to Jack, half leaned onto his chest.

Notes

Comment Please! Let me know what you think... this was a long chapter it just kept going and going... I hope you enjoy it! LOVES :P

Outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/accidents/set?id=102745127