I woke up to the sound of Blink 182's beautiful melodic tones rolling through my speakers. I rolled out of bed and went to my bathroom. I started the water. While it heated up I brushed my teeth. Once finished I pulled off my night clothes and stared at my body in the mirror. Mutilated skin all over my body. I started cutting after my sister died. I pulled at the newest addition to the family of scars. I've scar'd so many times that when kids at school found out they called me Tick tac. Like Tic Tac Toe cause I crisscrossed across my skin.

I sighed and pulled my hands away from my hip. I pulled back the curtain and got into the shower. The water was hot and burned as it touched my open skin but I was no stranger to pain. I finished washing and stepped out of the shower. I wrapped myself in a towel. Stepping out of my bathroom I made my way to my suit case. Last night was our first night in my new house. I sighed feeling the hard wood floor creak underneath my feet.

I pulled out some clothes and slipped on some undergarments and clothes over top. I heard a knock at my door. "Yeah, come in." I said quickly pulling my shirt over my head. "Hey, baby. It's dad. How you liking your room?" He asked stepping into my room. "It's nice dad." I said pushing some of my hair behind my ear, giving him a smile. It was fake and he knew but he appreciated the effort. He walked over and pulled me into a hug.

"It will be easier here, alright?" I nodded against his chest. "Where you headed so early?" "Remember when we came down to look at houses well I filled out a couple applications and I now have a job at a little restaurant." He pushed my shoulder softly with his hand. "Look at you. I guess I'll let you finish, your mom and I are going shopping so we'll see you later." I nodded and he left my room.

I finished and pulled on my shoes and socks. I grabbed my phone and wallet. I ran down the steps and grabbed my car keys. "Alright, see y'all later." I yelled. I closed the door behind me and ran over to my car. I opened the door and slid in. I pulled out my phone and typed in the address and started my drive to the place. I turned on my radio playing Green Day. I sang along and danced in my car a little.

I pulled up to the restaurant. I jumped out of my car and walked in. "Hi, Welcome to the carriage house." Some kid yelled. I waved and a woman walked over to me. "I'm really glad I hired you, Gaven just quit. Can you run a kitchen... I forget what exactly I hired you for?" "Yeah, I'll work anywhere. I did kitchen at my last job actually." "Great! I'm Dawn by the way." "Paige." "Alright, follow me." I followed her into the kitchen.

"Last guy was sort of crazy so everything is labeled. It should be really easy finding everything. Umm...Here's a menu. We're doing breakfast for another 2 hours so it's just this one page." "OK, where do tickets go?" I asked. She pointed. "Right over there. The boys and Ami will put them there." "OK." A guy walked over and put a ticket in. "Oooh. Rian, This is Paige. Our new cook."

I waved at him. "Hey." "Need any help ask Rian, he's worked here a little over a year and a half." She said and left the kitchen. I pulled down the ticket. 'Alright, two eggs-over easy. French toast and a bowl of fruit." I took a look around the kitchen for a sec finding all my needed ingredients. I finished and placed the food on the counter. I rang the little bell and Rian walked back over.

"I'm impressed." He said. "Well, this isn't my first time in a kitchen, but thank you." He smiled flashing his white teeth. "No problem." He took the plate and walked off. I pushed up my sleeves even though my scars were dark and ugly. I didn't wanna catch fire. I turned and saw another ticket. I picked it up and started their meal. A few tickets later Dawn came back in. "How ever your doing the French Toast, everyone is loving it." "Thanks."

"We close at 2 on sat. So you have about 45 minutes." "I didn't even realize I was back here that long." I said. That brought a smile to her face. "Does that mean you'll stay?" "Yeah, I like it." She smiled and walked to the door of the kitchen. "The Carriage House has a new member. Paige!" All the customers clapped. I gathered form my few hours here that this is a small town restaurant where everyone knows your name and they come say hi to you.

I finished and cleaned up my station. I turned and there stood Dawn. "Well I figured you needed a shirt." She handed me a shirt that said Carriage House on the front. I smiled and took it from her. "Thanks." I said. She didn't say anything back, and that's when I noticed her eyes staring at my wrists. I pulled down my shirt and looked away. She took my arm in her hand. "That doesn't matter to me, I like you." I smiled and wiped a few tears from my eyes. She smiled at me.

"Now go on and get home. I'll call you and let you know your schedule." I stepped past her and walked to the front of the restaurant. I opened the door and stepped out. I walked over to my car. "Hey, Paige." I heard Rian say. I turned and looked at him. "Yeah." "I like you a lot better than Gaven, just so you know. What grade are you in?" He asked. "I'm a senior." "Cool so are Alex and I." He pointed to a kid standing over by was I assume was Rian's car. I nodded. "Cool." "Here." He took my phone out of my hand typing in his number and calling it.

"I can't stand having new kids looking all lost. We were gonna hang out tomorrow and your gonna meet some kids." I didn't have enough time to answer. "Alright sounds good, I'll call you tomorrow and tell you what time and where." "O-ok." I said, he flashed another smile and walked over to his car. The other kid just stared at me. I shook it off and slid into the front seat. I pulled out of the parking spot and started my decent to my house.

I pulled into my driveway with my shirt in hand. I walked up to my door and unlocked it. "So how did it go?" My dad asked. My mom doesn't talk to me much anymore, she's mad at me cause of my sister. "Fine, they got me working Grill." "Really?!" My dad gets all excited cause he loves to cook, so do I but I've never started multiple restaurants from the ground up. "Yep, They like the way I make french toast."

I started to make my way upstairs. "Here, catch." I turned and caught the flying object coming towards me. "Got that for you." I looked down at the candy bar in my hands. "Thanks." I said and turned and walked towards my room. I put the candy bar in my nightstand drawer. Toblerone bars were my sisters favorite. I walked over and started to unpack my room. After putting clothes away and hanging a few posters from my old room I laid across my bed.

I pulled out my phone and clicked voice mail. I pushed the phone up to my ear and listened to one of many voice mails I have on here. "Hey, Paige when you get this give me a call. I passed the Math CRCT! I just wanted to say thank you for all your help, I would have failed if you hadn't helped me. When are you gonna get back from Ireland? I miss you, Love you, talk to you later." The message ends and leaves me wishing she would come bursting threw my door demanding I drive her to McDonalds cause she needs chicken nuggets at 4 in the morning.

I smiled a little remembering the little things like that. I rolled over and wiped my eyes. I hated being here instead of her, It was my fault and she didn't deserve the fate she got. I pushed the heel of my hands into my eyes. I was trying to shove the urge I had back into a dark corner of my mind but when your like me your whole mind is dark and there's no room left. I stood up and walked over to my bathroom. I opened the drawers and found what I was looking for a little box containing things that shouldn't help but do.

I pulled out a little zip lock bag and stuffed that into my pocket. I pulled out my blades and lined them up across the counter. I picked each one up, examining it. wondering which one would cut the deepest. I picked one up and held it between my thumb and first finger. I lifted the bottom of my shirt and pushed it into my skin it stung and I let out a gasp as I dragged it along my hip. I did this a few more times and sat on top of the counter.

I watched as the blood ran down over my hip bone. I looked at myself in the mirror disgusted with myself. I jumped off the counter and walked back into my room. I walked over to the window. I opened it and stepped out onto the ledge. I sat down and pulled my knees up to my chest. I pulled out the bag I stuffed into my pocket and pulled out my bowl. I took the lighter and packed the bowl. I took my lighter to it and breathed in nice and deep. I blew out the air.

"What are you doing up there?" I heard form the ground. My glance shot down and a tall skinny kid was staring at me. "Being a loser." I said back. "I doubt that." "What are you doing down there?" I asked. "Wondering if you wanna have someone to talk to?" He said. I shrugged my shoulders. "Sure, There's lattice work around the corner, you can climb that." He disappeared from site and then appeared on the roof. He plopped down next to me.

"I'm Jack." "Paige." I said. "So why are you a loser?" He asked. "Cause I'm a terrible person. I put on faces for people, which makes me fake. I smile when I'm not happy which makes me a liar. The list goes on." "Well, you don't seem that bad." He said nudging my shoulder. "Thanks, how old are you?" I asked. "17. My birthday was back in June. And you?" "I'll be 18 soon. I'll turn 18 in September. Now I don't share very often but I'm offer you, would you like some?" I said holding up my bowl.

He took it from my hands and I passed my lighter. He did it and passed it back. "I like you, you'll fit in nicely with me and my friends." He said. I pulled out a pack of cigarettes from my back pocket. I pulled one to my lips and lit it. "Oh yeah." He nodded. I leaned back dangling my feet off the edge. He followed suit. "So do you go to the high school?" He asked. "I just moved here." I said. "I know that, I was wondering which school you go to." "It starts with a D."

"Dulaney." He said. "Sure." I said back with a laugh. "What day is your birthday, Jack?" I asked. "The 18th, why?" He asked turning to look at me. "I was just wondering, my sister's birthday was the 12th." Then Jack's phone started to ring. "Hey, Ri." "Yeah. Is it alright if someone comes with me?" I sat up on my elbows a little. "Alright, cool." He hung up. "Come on, your coming with me, we're gonna get pizza."

"Ok." He stood up. "Wait let me change my suit first, I have grease on it." He nodded and I stepped back into my room. I walked over to my dresser. I looked at the window, Jack was just standing there. "Jack, you can come in. We'll go out threw my front door." I said. He stepped in and looked around. "Nice posters." "Thanks." "Is that a Gibson?" He asked pointing to my guitar. "Yeah..." "Wow." "You can play it later if you want." I said his face lit up and I noticed his eyes were red.

I laughed a little. "What?" "You look high right now." "Yeah so do you." He said. I grabbed my shirt and stepped into my bathroom. I pushed all my blades into my box and put it back in a drawer. I changed and stepped back out. Jack was laid out across my bed. "Ready?" I asked. "Yeah, your beds so comfy." He said. I laughed and opened the door to my room. "Come on." I said. He left my room and we started to down the steps. "Hey, I was just about to call you down, see if you wanted chinese fo-" Jack and I stopped at the top of the steps.

"Hey." I said. "I'm gonna go out to eat with Jack." Jack waved. My dad stepped closer to Jack and poked his arm. "Paula! This one's not imaginary!" He laughed at his own joke and Jack laughed with him. I just huffed and walked past him. "Just call me let me know when your gonna be back." "Can do." I said and left the house. "Your dad's funny." Jack said giggling. He started towards his house. "Where you going?" I asked. "To get my car." He said. "No way, I'm driving. You're too high." He huffed sounding offended and put his hands on his hips.

"I can handle myself." "Come on, not right now. I can't let you drive." I begged. "Fine." He said crossing his arms and walking over to my car in the drive way. He slipped into the passenger seat. "Where am I going?" I asked. "To the stop sign and left then you go for a couple miles, then turn in the parking lot." "Ok." I started my car and pulled out of my drive way. I followed the directions Jack gave. "You turn up here." He said pointing to a pizza place.

I pulled in and parked. Jack started to laugh. "What?" I asked. "Nothing, Just wondering if I'm your first friend." He said opening the door. "Who said we were friends." I said back also exiting the car. He made a dramatic gasp. "I thought we were friends." He said. I laughed. "Sure we can be friends." I said. We walked to the front door and Jack was leaning on my shoulder with his face. I laughed at how incredibly high we still were. His eyes still red.

"Hey, look it's my friends!" Jack said pointing he ran over and gave one of them a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I walked over, noticing Rian from work and Alex, he was the one Jack was sitting on. "Dude, what happened to your eyes?" Rian asked. Jack gave him a look and leaned over the table. "I smoked...with that one." He said pointing to me. "Oh hey Paige. I see Jack found you." I nodded and sat down. "Alright, well. This is Cass, Alex, you know Jack. We have Matt and Zack over here."

I waved. "I found her and she was sitting on her roof, and I was like want a buddy and she was like alright, so I climbed the wall and we smoked AND she owns a Gibson!" He turned to Alex and grabbed his face in between his hands. "A GIBSON Alex!" Everyone laughed. "I got it for my sister." "I didn't know you had a sister?" Rian said. "Well I don't, not anymore." "Oh..." He said back. "So where did you move from?" Cass asked me.

"Woodstock, Georgia." "Way down south." Zack said. "Yeah, so if you catching me saying Y'all just know it's involuntary." They laughed. Jack started to laugh and now he was sitting next to Alex. "What's so funny?" Alex asked him. "Paige's dad, said that I was real and not imaginary and it was funny and I can't stop thinking about it." He said and laughed. I shook my head. "This is exactly why I drove. Boy can't handle what I brought up." "Sure I can."

"No, I don't think you can." Rian said. Jack huffed and leaned back in his seat. Our pizza came out and we all ate. Jack and my highs are coming down and apparently Jack acts like hes high on a regular basis. "I have to get back, I have to be up early tomorrow." Jack said. I stood up and stretched. "It was nice hanging out with y'all." I said. They all burst out laughing, and that's when I realized what I said. "Get over it! It'll happen a lot." I said while laughing.

Jack took my arm and we left and walked over to the counter and paid. We walked out to my car. "Thanks Jack." "For what?" He asked while we slipped into the car. "For inviting me... I really don't have any friends... I never have." I started my car. "It's ok, I'll be your friend." He said laying his head on my shoulder. "I laughed. "Thanks." He smiled at me. I pulled up to my house and got out of my car. "So what do you have to be up early for?" I asked. "Nothing, I wanted to hang out with you."

I blushed. "Ok, well I could ask and see if you could spend the night if you want." "Yeah, let me run over to my house." He said taking off next door. I walked into my house and closed the door. "Hey, dad!" "Hey, Paige!" He said back. "Is it cool if Jack spends the night?" I started up the stairs. "Sure." My dad's become more laid back since the accident. "Thanks." I walked up stairs and just as I made it to my room the door bell rang. I walked back down stairs and grabbed the door.

I opened it and there stood Jack. "Well come in." I said he walked past me. "Do you have any fruit roll ups?" He asked. "I don't know. Fasha do we have any fruit roll ups?!" "Yeah, in the pantry." I showed Jack to my kitchen and pulled out the fruit flavored snacks. "Here go." I went to hand him one and he took the box from my hands. "Thank you." He said walking up my stairs. I laughed and followed him. "So your dad's ok, with my staying over?" He said laying across my bed with a fruit roll up wound around his finger.

"Yeah, he really doesn't care." I said closing my door. "Wanna play a game?" He asked. "Sure, do you want something to drink?" I walked over to my mini fridge and opened it. "I have capri sun, Verdi, Jack, Gentlmen Jack." "There seems to be a lot of Jack in this room." I laughed. "I'll take Jack." He said. I pulled it out and handed it to him. I sat across from him on my bed. "So what game?" I asked. "I was thinking Never have I ever. So we could get to know each other better." He said taking a sip.

"Ok, you first." I said taking the bottle from his hand and taking a sip. "Never Have I ever... Kissed a guy. We'll start easy." He said. I lowered a finger. "Never have I ever... got caught being high by my parents." He lowered a finger. "Never have I ever... done Meth." Neither of us lowered our fingers. The game went on like this.

"Let's see... Never have I ever... Had sex with someone in a car." Jack said. I lowered my last finger. "Ha! I'm victorious!" He said throwing his hands up. "Yeah, yeah." I slurred. "What? Don't take defeat very well?" He asked slurring each word right back at me. "No, I'm too drunk to care." I said. I stood up and walked over to my dresser. "I'm gonna get dressed be right back." I took my clothes into the bathroom and pulled on my shorts and a long sleeve shirt. I didn't cut on my thighs cause I played softball and didn't need anyone worrying.

I stepped out of my bathroom to find Jack in his boxers and a shirt. "Do you mine if I take off my shirt?" He asked leaning over, he slipped and fell off my bed. I laughed. "No, go ahead." He laid there and slipped off his shirt. I walked over and climbed into my bed. "Tired already?" He asked. "Jack. It's like 5 in the morning. What do you suggest we do?" I asked. He climbed onto the bed. "I don't know." He climbed over towards me.

"My parents are downstairs." I said. "We don't have to go that far. But there's a game we could play. We kiss each other and the first to make hand contact with the others body looses." "Ok." I said. He leaned in and our lips met. His tongue ran along my bottom lip begging for entrance. I allowed it and his tongue entered my mouth. I was fine but Jack was fidgeting. I smirked and that pushed him over the edge. His hand grabbed my hip and pulled me closer.

I let my hand run and get lost in his hair. "You lost Jack." I said while pulling one of my hands from his neck down his chest. He let out a breath and I took this chance and pushed my face into the crook of his neck. I made little love bites down his neck. He let out a small growl. I pulled away noticing the purple bruise on his collar bone. "We have to stop Jack. I would go further but" I leaned closer to his ear. "I'm kind of a screamer..." I could hear him gulp.

I pulled back. "You wanna go out onto the roof?" I asked. I took his hand and pulled him to the window. I stepped out pulling Jack with me. I laid down and Jack laid next to me. "Wouldn't it be cool to be a star?" I said. He looked over at me. "Why?" "Cause you get to watch everything for a far happen but you're so far you can't be expected to do anything about anything." He looked back up at the sky. "I guess." He took my hand in his.

It was only then that I realized I was even cold. "You can scoot in closer if your cold." Jack said. I decided to scoot over and snuggled into his side. His skin was hot against mine. Especially his chest where my face was laying. His phone started to go off. He reached in pulling it off of the window sill where it was plugged in. I pulled away and sat back in my spot, with my legs dangling off the edge. "Hey, sorry bout that. Come next door. We're on the roof." He hung up his phone.

"It's Alex. He went looking for me at my house, but I'm here." I nodded. "I hope that's ok?" "Yeah don't worry about it. He can stay if he wants to." "Cool, he's my best friend." Jack said. I head foot steps and a figure appeared. "So what you ditch me for the new girl?" Alex said plopping down next to me, making me in the middle. "No, I sorts just invited myself over... she said you could stay if you wanted."

I nodded in agreement with Jack. "Your parents are just gonna let two teenage boys spend the night?" "Yeah, they don't care. They know Jack's here already... What's one more." I said Alex laid down like Jack and I were. "Stars are so cool, It's awesome how far away from everything they can be but still be apart of something." I turned to look at him. He looked over at me. "I like space." "So do I." "Are you taking Astrology once school starts up?" He asked. "Actually yeah."

"Cool, we maybe in the same class." I shivered. "Y'all wanna go inside, it's cold out here. I said. They nodded and we went back into my room. "Wow, that is a Gibson." Alex said. "Yeah." "Told you." Jack said. I laid across my bed. "Y'all can come join if you want, I'll lay in the middle." I said scooting under the covers. "I'm assuming you don't care if I sleep in my boxers?" Alex asked. "Nope." I said snuggling into a pillow.

They came over and got in. "Your beds huge." Alex said. "Yeah... It's a California King." I said closing my eyes. "Don't you think this is weird?" Alex asked. I turned my head to him and opened my eyes. "What are you talking about?" I asked. "You haven't even known us 24 hrs and we're in your bed." "No, I like you guys and I don't pass on friends." I said plainly. "That makes sense." He said letting out a yawn. We laid there in silence for a minute and then all three of us were out like lights.

Notes

comment please tell me what you think! I like getting fee back! LOVES :P

outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/baltimore/set?id=102690419

Outfit2: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=102693060