Chasing the Future
Each has their own problems (Jack POV, Alex POV)
Jack POV
I woke up from the sound of Mari crying. I tried to get up, but I stumbled onto the nightstand, still not fully sober. So I crawled back into bed and poked Alex. He was immediately awake, he was always on alert now we had a baby to care for.
I tried to fall back asleep, but I couldn’t. I was sobering up, the part I hated most about all this, starting to feel again; the pain, the guilt, and worst of all, the old thoughts. I tried so hard to suppress my flashbacks of the many years of abuse at my home by my father, but sometimes it didn’t work.
It was horrible, I had all these old feelings again, like I was encaged, the words of my father echoing through my mind, feeling his beatings and the bruises again. Also my eating issues were trying to return, but so far I had managed to not relapse.
Alex POV
I woke up from Jack poking me because Mari was crying. I felt a tiny pang of hurt because Jack was not going, but then I got up and traipsed over to Mari. She was only a bit nervous and scared, I carried her around for some bit, sang a little to her, and she was back asleep.
The constant sleep deprivation was making me really clumsy, and on my way back to the bed I stumbled over some shoe that was on the ground.
I fell down, trying to prevent it by holding onto something, but unfortunately, that something was a sharp edge. When I sat up afterwards, I could feel a hot pain in my palm and a warm, sticky liquid running down my arm. I could feel a familiar rush of adrenaline, and lots of memories came rushing back to me too.
It was almost overwhelming, but having this injury felt so good. I didn’t know what to do, so I went to the kitchen, where I saw a big knife on the table. I hesitated for a bit, but then decided to care for my wound, one was enough for now. I washed it, disinfected it and bandaged it, then I returned to the bedroom.
I crept back into the bed, my anxiety about Jack being significantly smaller. I snuggled close to him, no caring about the smell of alcohol, and soon was back asleep.
I woke up from the sound of Mari crying. I tried to get up, but I stumbled onto the nightstand, still not fully sober. So I crawled back into bed and poked Alex. He was immediately awake, he was always on alert now we had a baby to care for.
I tried to fall back asleep, but I couldn’t. I was sobering up, the part I hated most about all this, starting to feel again; the pain, the guilt, and worst of all, the old thoughts. I tried so hard to suppress my flashbacks of the many years of abuse at my home by my father, but sometimes it didn’t work.
It was horrible, I had all these old feelings again, like I was encaged, the words of my father echoing through my mind, feeling his beatings and the bruises again. Also my eating issues were trying to return, but so far I had managed to not relapse.
Alex POV
I woke up from Jack poking me because Mari was crying. I felt a tiny pang of hurt because Jack was not going, but then I got up and traipsed over to Mari. She was only a bit nervous and scared, I carried her around for some bit, sang a little to her, and she was back asleep.
The constant sleep deprivation was making me really clumsy, and on my way back to the bed I stumbled over some shoe that was on the ground.
I fell down, trying to prevent it by holding onto something, but unfortunately, that something was a sharp edge. When I sat up afterwards, I could feel a hot pain in my palm and a warm, sticky liquid running down my arm. I could feel a familiar rush of adrenaline, and lots of memories came rushing back to me too.
It was almost overwhelming, but having this injury felt so good. I didn’t know what to do, so I went to the kitchen, where I saw a big knife on the table. I hesitated for a bit, but then decided to care for my wound, one was enough for now. I washed it, disinfected it and bandaged it, then I returned to the bedroom.
I crept back into the bed, my anxiety about Jack being significantly smaller. I snuggled close to him, no caring about the smell of alcohol, and soon was back asleep.
Notes
I hope you like this chapter, idk about it.Are you all doing fine? I am so happy to receive so much positive feedback for this, thank you guys, it really lifts me up! c:
Comment/rate/subscribe please! :)
-Laura
@Cloud Storm
Thank you c:
2/1/14