Chasing the Future
Maybe it is better this way (Alex POV)
It was three days after our happy “awakening” and it was increasingly harder to keep the good work up. Jack had downed some bottles in the past days but he had tried to not do too many. It still scared me, I was scared he might slip back. However, whenever I asked him, he reassured me nothing was going to be wrong.
It was already 1 am but I couldn’t sleep, Mari wouldn’t stop crying. Jack was not home, allegedly to buy some things, but I had a suspicion. I was desperate to sleep, my eyes were already fluttering shut every other minute, but he wouldn’t come home. In a last attempt to calm Mari down, I took my guitar and strummed the chords to the lullabye.
Initially, nothing changed in her crying intensity, but when I added my voice to the mix, she opened her beautiful brown eyes and looked at me. Besides some tiny whimpers, she was now listening attentively. Luckily for me, the lullabye did its job and soon she was fast asleep.
I sighed happily and put the guitar back to its stand. I could hear the front door open. This was probably Jack. I went to kiss him hello, but when I got close, I was repelled by the smell of cheap alcohol. Tears rushed to my eyes. Hadn’t he promised something?
“Jay, why?” I whispered. But he was already too intoxicated to really understand me, he just mumbled something like “M’sorry Lexy.”
I led him to the bedroom and helped him change out of his stinking clothes. He laid down and gestured for me to come and kiss him. I didn’t want to but I did it.
In the bathroom, I sunk down to the floor. Why had he started again? Everything had seemed so perfect. He had broken our promise. Technically, I could break it too now…
Before I had even properly thought about all this, my hands were on my diary, in search of the blade hidden inside. But before I had found it, a note fell out. I took a look at it, ready to put it aside, but I hesitated. Written neatly in round letters was a phone number and underneath it a name. It was Luna’s number.
I stopped to think. I could give her a call. She had said to call her when I needed her. But then again, it was 1.30 am, she was probably asleep. On the other hand, this was serious. I sighed and got out my phone.
“Hello?” a very sleepy female voice asked.
“Luna? Is this you?” I wanted to know.
“Yeah it’s me. Are you Alex Gaskarth?” she replied, sounding more awake by now
.
“Yes,” I sighed, “I hope I don’t disturb too much… it’s just that I am in a bad place right now and I found your number. I can end the call if you want to, I just…” I trailed off.
“Hey, it’s fine. Always happy to help. What can I do for you?” she asked.
“I… I kinda… wow okay this stays between the two of us okay? I hope I can trust you,” I said, suddenly a bit scared that she might tell anyone about the things I was about to talk to her about. But she indicated with a welp and a “No!” that she never would do it. And so I carried on.
“You know… I want to cut myself,” I blurted out before I can stop myself.
There was a little silence on the line before she spoke.
“Alex. Trust me, this will do no good. There are better things to do. I think you should make yourself a hot chocolate and then come over to my place or go to your friends’ place.”
I thought about this. It actually didn’t sound too bad. Better than breaking the promise. I sighed. I was way too easy to convince.
“Thank you so much Luna. Can I stay at your place? Like I don’t wanna disturb Zack and Rian,” I said, silently praying she would say yes.
“Of course Alex. Do you need a ride?” she offered. I wanted to take Mari with me which meant I had lots of stuff to carry around. Maybe it would be better if I had someone to help.
“Yeah it would be better I think. I hope it’s ok if I bring Mari?”
“Alex you know I think she’s super-cute. I’m very excited to see her. Be over in 10!” With that, she hung up. I quickly started collecting things to take with me, not forgetting the diary, just in case. I filled some bags with our stuff, took Mari in her buggy, grabbed my keys, my phone and closed the door behind us.
It was already 1 am but I couldn’t sleep, Mari wouldn’t stop crying. Jack was not home, allegedly to buy some things, but I had a suspicion. I was desperate to sleep, my eyes were already fluttering shut every other minute, but he wouldn’t come home. In a last attempt to calm Mari down, I took my guitar and strummed the chords to the lullabye.
Initially, nothing changed in her crying intensity, but when I added my voice to the mix, she opened her beautiful brown eyes and looked at me. Besides some tiny whimpers, she was now listening attentively. Luckily for me, the lullabye did its job and soon she was fast asleep.
I sighed happily and put the guitar back to its stand. I could hear the front door open. This was probably Jack. I went to kiss him hello, but when I got close, I was repelled by the smell of cheap alcohol. Tears rushed to my eyes. Hadn’t he promised something?
“Jay, why?” I whispered. But he was already too intoxicated to really understand me, he just mumbled something like “M’sorry Lexy.”
I led him to the bedroom and helped him change out of his stinking clothes. He laid down and gestured for me to come and kiss him. I didn’t want to but I did it.
In the bathroom, I sunk down to the floor. Why had he started again? Everything had seemed so perfect. He had broken our promise. Technically, I could break it too now…
Before I had even properly thought about all this, my hands were on my diary, in search of the blade hidden inside. But before I had found it, a note fell out. I took a look at it, ready to put it aside, but I hesitated. Written neatly in round letters was a phone number and underneath it a name. It was Luna’s number.
I stopped to think. I could give her a call. She had said to call her when I needed her. But then again, it was 1.30 am, she was probably asleep. On the other hand, this was serious. I sighed and got out my phone.
“Hello?” a very sleepy female voice asked.
“Luna? Is this you?” I wanted to know.
“Yeah it’s me. Are you Alex Gaskarth?” she replied, sounding more awake by now
.
“Yes,” I sighed, “I hope I don’t disturb too much… it’s just that I am in a bad place right now and I found your number. I can end the call if you want to, I just…” I trailed off.
“Hey, it’s fine. Always happy to help. What can I do for you?” she asked.
“I… I kinda… wow okay this stays between the two of us okay? I hope I can trust you,” I said, suddenly a bit scared that she might tell anyone about the things I was about to talk to her about. But she indicated with a welp and a “No!” that she never would do it. And so I carried on.
“You know… I want to cut myself,” I blurted out before I can stop myself.
There was a little silence on the line before she spoke.
“Alex. Trust me, this will do no good. There are better things to do. I think you should make yourself a hot chocolate and then come over to my place or go to your friends’ place.”
I thought about this. It actually didn’t sound too bad. Better than breaking the promise. I sighed. I was way too easy to convince.
“Thank you so much Luna. Can I stay at your place? Like I don’t wanna disturb Zack and Rian,” I said, silently praying she would say yes.
“Of course Alex. Do you need a ride?” she offered. I wanted to take Mari with me which meant I had lots of stuff to carry around. Maybe it would be better if I had someone to help.
“Yeah it would be better I think. I hope it’s ok if I bring Mari?”
“Alex you know I think she’s super-cute. I’m very excited to see her. Be over in 10!” With that, she hung up. I quickly started collecting things to take with me, not forgetting the diary, just in case. I filled some bags with our stuff, took Mari in her buggy, grabbed my keys, my phone and closed the door behind us.
Notes
Wowow Alex making some decisions!I hope you are all doing fine.
Comment/rate/subscribe! :)
-Laura
@Cloud Storm
Thank you c:
2/1/14