Touched & Attracted

sometimes you gotta fall before you fly

- Sleeping With Sirens

Outfit of the Chapter
Chapter 84

The woman walked inside again and handed a paper to Alex. He looked at her and looked confused at the paper.
"And what is this?" he asked.
"Your wife have already signed it, sign it and the kids are back in your custody" she said. Alex stared at her to see one small hint of lie, but when she just looked at him with a serious look he sighed and signed the paper.
"Congratulations Mr Gaskarth, the kids are now in your custody" she said and walked towards the door.
"So Max and I can take the kids back home now?" he asked.
"You can take the kids back home" she said.

Alex walked outside and picked up Tigerlily, and she wrapped her arms around him and cried into the crook of his neck. He smiled and hushed her, and saw that Jack was already there and holding the twins in a baby holder. He smiled when he saw Alex.
"Where's Max?" Alex asked and Jack looked confused.
"She's not with you?" Jack asked. The woman from before came walking and Alex looked at her.
"Where's Max? I thought we would take the kids home now?" he said.
"You must have misunderstood me, you are the one taking the kids home. You are the with the custody" she said and Alex just stared.
"Max signed a paper of giving me full custody?" Alex asked.
"Full custody, a divorce and an agreement to getting into a mental institute for rehabilitation from her depression" she answered and walked away. Alex almost dropped Tigerlily when he heard those words.
"Max really signed that?" Jack asked, and Alex picked up the paper he had signed. He read through it and it sure said that. He was a divorced man, had full custody of his kids and had lost his ex-wife to a mental institute.
"And how the fuck am I suppose to breast feed the twins?" Alex snapped.

- - -

Alex was sitting in the living room. It had been three weeks since he even had seen Max. He had no idea where she was. The social services refused to answer. Jack and Ed had been a big help with taking care of the kids, since Alex never had believed it would have been as hard as it really was. He couldn't understand how Max could do it. But I guess that was the power of a mother, and it wasn't easy either when Tigerlily missed her mother and every night asked for Max.

Right now they were staying with Ed and Tyler. Jack and the guys was staying away since Alex had asked to be alone today. The first time in ages. He wanted to think. About the next move. About what to do. About what to feel. He sighed and picked up his guitar and started to play. He hummed for himself the words to Too Much.
"I need to find a reason to feel, like everything was meant to be let go, take it slow, 'cause I can't be on my own" he mumbled. He continued to play a little and then he continued to sing.
"Too much of anything is too much, too much love can be too much.
We had too much time, too much us, So we fought like tomorrow was promised...Too much, too much, too much, too much...Too much, too much, too much, too much" he sang quietly before he let out a growl and threw away the guitar. He felt like a mess.
"Manage me I'm a mess" he yelled and kicked some of the pillows.

Another few days later he finally got an answer and was told where Max was. He was told he could go and visit her, without the kids, and that she had agreed to talk to him.

Alex walked into the very bright, and very white, building and he got inside a room that looked like a lounge. There was a couch in the corner and there sat Max. Her brown hair was really dark, and short again. To her shoulders. She looked so off and tired. Her hair wasn't shining like it used to and her skin looked so pale and almost transparent. Dressed in dark leggings and one of his hold big hoods. He had been wondering where that one had gone. First he just looked at her and she hadn't even noticed that he was there. When he got to the couch he just sat down and leaned his head against her shoulder and chest she jumped a little. Then she smiled and wrapped her arms around him, and pressed his head towards her chest.
"I missed you" she whispered and he teared up. Why had all this happened in the first place? Why had a divorce and forced her into an institute been the solution?
"I missed you too" he said and asked his arms around her waist. He was half lying on the couch and just breathing in her scent.
"How are they?" she whispered and Alec bit his lip. He really didn't want to tell her, in fear of her getting worse.
"The boys are fine, a little bit sad from time to time but Tigerlily... She misses her mother" Alex whispered. Max swallowed nervously and tried to hold her tears back.
"Soon I will get to leave" she whispered and swallowed again.
"I can't properly function between you" he answered.
"yes you can" she said.
"and the twins.... I can't breastfeed them" he said, and smiled when he felt her laugh a little. Then he sat up and he face her, and looked into her eyes. He held up his hand and held out his little finger.
"Let's promise... that when all this is over, we are still going to be a family" he said. She looked at him and raised her hand.
"When all this is over, I'm going to walk down the fucking aisle in a white dress and not a purple one" Max said and looked at him.
"You would do that?" he asked and looked at her.
"Your dream was to see the love of your life walk down the aisle in a white dress. I'm going to promise to give you that. I'm gonna fulfill that dream. I promise" she said and took a deep breath. He hooked his finger with hers and smiled.
"It's a promise" he whispered.
"Promise" she smiled. He hugged her and this time he pressed her against his own chest instead.

- - -

The media had now found out that Alex and Max had gotten a divorce. How they found out was strange and no one knew how, but the paparazzi's was following Alex everywhere to get a glimpse of him or Max. Or anything new. But all they got was pictures of Alex holding a baby holder and having his little princess on his shoulders, together with either Jack or Ed. No Max. Not even one single picture of Max and the rumors was starting. Suddenly Max had committed suicide after losing their kids. She had died of cancer. She had fled the country. She had finally fled from Alex and was now hiding. The rumors was many and many more came every day.

Alex was trying to get Tigerlily to eat when he heard the bell ring. He looked confused at his bandmates. Ed wasn't coming over since he and Tyler was over in Miami.He couldn't think of anyone else either. He walked over to the door and opened it, and just stared with wide eyes.
"Hi" she said and looked at him.
"Jenna..." Alex said.

Notes