We were all beyond excited over the fact that we were finally getting a hotel room. Life on the bus can be fun, but nothing beats sleeping in a real bed, even if that still doesn't compare to going home to our own beds. We didn't have a show until tomorrow, so everyone was bringing enough along with them to the rooms to hit up the hot tub, the shower and to get dressed in the room tomorrow.


Well, almost everyone. Zack had given Rian his things, since they were sharing a room, and opted to go take some pictures of the town and maybe hang out with a few fans from the area. Rian was, of course, just going to dump their bags and go on a Starbucks hunt. That dude and his coffee.


This left Alex with Ember and myself.


Ember was already packed and ready to go. Matt had offered to show her to our room. Alex had requested a single room since he'd be going out tonight in hopes to relieve some of his own stress from tour. Of course I didn't mind this - Time alone with Ember is what I wanted most.


"So, a little birdy told me you and Em are looking for an apartment together."


"Yeah, but she's wants a dog. You have people to watch over your dog, we don't."


"Better than her wanting a baby," Alex snorted, zipping up his bag. "Speaking of babies, you guys have been together for like, four years. When are you gonna pop the question?"


"I don't know if we're really ready for that yet. One big step at a time. Once we get this apartment crap over and done with, I'll think about it."


"I recall a time where you couldn't wait to go pick out the perfect ring. Everything okay, dude?"


"I'm great," I smiled, zipping up my own bag. "I just wanna take everything one step at a time."


Alex nodded his head and trotted off to the kitchen area, leaving me alone with my thoughts. He was right, there was a time when we first started tour that I wanted to go out and buy Ember the perfect ring, but once my meds started to kick in I realized it was entirely too soon. And then everything I did had to be thought out, which made me feel like I wasn't living in the moment the way my friends were.


I know Ember expected more out of me. She wanted me to be more excited about finding an apartment. She wanted me to be more excited about our future together. I'm not a kid anymore, it was time to start thinking about my life, in and out of the band. There was only one thing I could do to fix myself.


"Dude, don't forget these," Alex stepped back into the bunk area with my pills in his hands. "Shouldn't you be getting a refill soon?"


"Uh, no," I murmured, feeling how many pills were still in the tube. "I got one the other day. Figured might as well why we were taking a break."


"Oh. Cool. I'm gonna head up, you coming?"


"Yeah, give me a minute."


My best friend flashed me a smile before he disappeared off of the bus. He would probably dump his bags in his room and go bother Ember until I found our room, which meant I had a little extra time. Shaking the pill bottle in my hand, I let out a deep sigh and pondered exactly what I was doing. My feet carried me to the hotel lobby, the elevators were to my right and the receptioin desk was right in front of me, but I had a pit stop to make before I found our hotel room.


Marching into the bathroom, I slid into the single stall and unscrewed the lid to my pill bottle. The small tablets were mocking me, reminding me that I wasn't right in the head, I wasn't normal. Well, fuck that. Ember seems to think I've been doing fine since I've been missing doses. I could handle this, I could handle myself.


With a smile on my lips, I held the orange bottle up and dumped the pills into the toilet. Hiking my leg up, I pressed down on the handle and watched as they were pulled away into the water.


"Get ready for a brand new Barakat, world."

Notes

This sucks, I'm so sorry. I have been fighting with my internet all day and it has beaten me down. ):
The site is working a little better, though, so my next update shouldn't suck so much. lol.
Plus, all of you subscribers should show this story some more love! <3.