"Ember, I-"
"What the fuck is he doing here? Why would you bring him here?"


"You need to talk to him," Dalton countered, a stern look on his face. I knew this wouldn't go over well. I knew she didn't love me anymore. But fuck I just wanted to kiss her and offer her the world. "I'm sick of tip-toeing around you over the matter. Now, talk."


Dalton held his hand up to Ember, as a way of telling her to bite her tongue, and dissappeared from the room. Her face was cold, but I could see the wheels turning in her mind. It was obvious, just from my apperance, that I was different. That I was better. My clothes fit a little more snug because I'd gained my weight back. My eyes were alive, not cold and cruel. The circles from my lack of sleep had faded and my skin had gotten a little more color. Even my hair was styled again. But I knew none of that would remind her of what we once had. I couldn't blame her. I did, after all, try to kill her.


However, even in my insane state, it was because she wanted to leave. Healthy or not, I just couldn't be without her. My life means absolutely nothing without the adorable Elf by my side.


"You wasted a lot of time and money coming out here, Jack," Ember growled, getting up from her seat to storm away from me. Naturally, I followed her. "I don't have anything to say to you. Please leave."


I opened my mouth to speak, but Ember went into the bathroom and slammed the door in my face before I could. This brought back bad memories, memories from when we were on tour. I'm not that person anymore. I know I'll never be better, not really, but I am well. That's what counts.


"Ember, please," my hand hit the door and I pressed my face against the wood. "I understand that you don't love me anymore, but I do love you. I'm not going to sit here and explain to you why I quit taking my pills, it wouldn't justify anything, but I will say I'm sorry. I am so fucking sorry for all the pain I caused you: Physical, mental and emotional. You really do deserve so much better than me."


My body slid down the length of the door until my butt was planted on the floor. I could hear Ember take a seat on the toilet and let out a deep breath. Nothing I could say would win her back, and I understand that. But it doesn't mean I'll give up so easily. The day Alex told me she was gone, I swore to him and everyone else I'd get her back. They'd all forgiven me, we'd mended all the bad things, but then again, I never treated them the way I had her. She was the victim in all of this, I see that now.


She didn't say a word, which forced me to keep going.


"I shouldn't have hung up on you that day, but I never would have gone through with it if I had known you knew where I was. I either would have gone back to that fucking bed and breakfast to see if you'd come, or I'd come home just because I knew you were waiting for me. Everything I've done since Alex took you away from me was for you, not against you. Ember, please. I'm off the drugs. I'm back on my medication. My therapist and I meet twice a week as of right now. I'm doing the best I can't but it doesn't mean a fucking thing without you."


"You don't love me," Ember growled from her side of the door. I heard her sniff a little, trying to muffle her tears. My heart shattered all over again. It was like being stabbed with a dull knife. "All of the things you've done, Jack.. You can't possibly love me."


"Baby, I'm sick. I know that doesn't make up for anything that I did, but you have to see that I'm trying my hardest to get better. Everything that I can possibly do, I'm doing it, for you."


A silence fell over us. She was moving around in the bathroom, but I had no idea what she was doing. Forgiving me didn't seem to be on the list. Of course she had every reason to want nothing to do with me. I had every reason to want everything to do with her.


"I'll leave if that's what you want, but I'm not giving up on your, or us. I love you with everything I have. If I don't hear from you, I understand.. But expect to be hearing from me, soon. I love you, Ember. With all of my heart and soul."


Wiping a tear from my cheek, I pulled myself to my feet and began making my way back to the door. Ember had never been so reluctant to forgive me before, and honestly, it made me lose a bit of hope. But I'd keep trying until the day I dead, and even then I'd wait for her on the other side.


Dalton met me by the door. Based off the tears in my eyes, he didn't have to ask how it went. Instead, he pulled me in for a hug and let me sob on his shoulder for a moment. When we parted, he gave me a nod of the head and I left without another word. It killed me to walk out of that door. I should be in there, refusing to leave, but I had to give her time. Seeing her was a big step, I could only hope she'd be willing to accept the next one.


At least I was leaving with a plan. That girl has my heart, I'll be damned if she's giving it back.

Notes

I AM SO SAD THAT THEY'RE NOT TOGETHER RIGHT NOW.