“Ember, Jack isn't coming back.”

Those are the last words I heard before I walked back to the bunk area to be alone. He wasn't coming back to the bus, and I didn't even want to think about how he would managed to get to the next venue.

Maybe I shouldn't have confronted him, now he's off doing God knows what with I maybe know who. I sat in our bunk, looking at the pictures we had hanging up on the wall, wondering what went wrong. Why did he not want to take the medication anymore? Did he really feel like it was changing him? Was he ever happy like he seemed to be in any of these photos?

I didn't sleep at all that night, I just stayed up thinking. Around five in the morning, before anyone else was awake I got an idea. Moving our bags to the usual storage areas, I started setting up my bunk. It was clear Jack was acting out mostly towards me, maybe we just needed some separation. I don't know what I'm exactly doing, but I can try to fix it.

I had everything done and set up after a good hour and decided to change into some real clothes. The bus wouldn't be stopping for another ten ours, and the their concert started in twelve. I doubted Jack would be back any earlier than necessary so now I had nothing better to do all day.

I mostly fiddled on my laptop, going through emails and even doing some of Matt's work. Alex, Zack, and Rian all tried talking with me. I just didn't respond. I remember Jack saying something about people only being concerned with me, I didn't want him to think no one cared about him. They'll all bug him if I just leave them alone, right?

It was about three hours before the concert, and we were still on the road. I had done everything I possibly could. Hell, I even cleaned the whole damn bus. Something that was usually a team project. Right now I was just on my bunk, staring at the ceiling. How did it come to this?

“Ember, you can't just lay in here.” I looked over to find Alex walking in. “He'll be back and we'll tear him a new one.”
“Don't/” I mumbled. “I'm not mad at him, he's mad at me.”
“What does he possibly have to be mad at you about?”
“You were wrong about the fan,” I lied. “And I jumped to conclusions. That's why.”
“Ember...”
“Just go away.” I just my curtain, hearing Alex sigh and leave the room.

We finally got to the venue, and I asked Matt what he wanted me to do. He tried to get me to take a break, and I told him no. I needed something to keep my mind off everything. I didn't sleep at all, but I was still going. He just made me do sound check, make sure Jeff's lighting was okay, and to help Vinny with merch booth set up.

I was hoping he wouldn't make me do meet and greet. I went through and did everything almost mechanically. Jeff asked me a hundred times if I was alright and I just told him to adjust some light instead of really answering him. Sound check took a little longer than usual since I kept spacing off. Vinny didn't say anything to me as I folded up shirts while he hung up display ones. He had dealt with me on the bus all day, he knew I wouldn't speak up.

When I left to go back to the green room, I ended up crashing into another body. I fell back a little more than I would have, I was probably off balance from exhaustion. Looking up, I found Jack.

“Oh... you're back.” I said, stupidly. Jack rose a brow.
“Yeah,got anything to say about me missing last night?”
“No.” I rubbed my arm. “I'm sorry I upset you.”
“Really?” He looked at me disbelievingly. “I bet everyone was more concerned about how you felt anyway.”
“They weren't, I spent the night in my bunk alone.” I assured, trying anything to make him stop looking at me with such disdain. “Lex kept looking at his phone all day, hoping to hear from you.”
“He was?”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I'm was just heading to the green room, the guys are there though. You should go say hi to them, I think I left my computer in my bunk anyway.”
“You mean our bunk.” He corrected and I shook me head.
“I moved back to my original one, I figured-”
“Why?” He suddenly yelled, and I flinched. “Just cause I left last night doesn't mean you can just pack up your things and leave me.”
“No, that's not what I intended-” I tried to explain but Jack grabbed my arm, tugging me down the hall. “Jack!”
“Shut the fuck up.” He growled, leading me further down before shoving us into a storage closet. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“M-me?” I asked, my eyes barely adjusting to the dark.

I felt a smack against my arm and I yelped.

“Yes you,” Jack snarled, I felt him press me backwards into some shelves by the shoulder. A few things fell and I felt tears come to my eyes. “Can't you do anything right?”
“Stop it.” I pleaded, but there was another blow sent towards my stomach, making me choke on air.
“You better quit all this bullshit.” He growled. “Quit questioning me and don't ever think you can just bail out.”
“You leave all the time now.” I argued, and there was another hit sent to my chest.
“Fucking shut your mouth.” He grabbed both my shoulder, dragging me near him. “This is how it is now. You're not in charge around here, you're not the one in the spotlight. That's me, and you better know your place. Got it?”

In fear of saying something wrong, I simply nodded.

“And quit crying you pathetic bitch.” He demanded, and I tried to hold in my sniffles. “I have to go on stage. Make sure no one sees you like this.”

With that he left, and I fell to the floor. None of this even made sense anymore. I had to tell someone...

No, I can't. Tour will get canceled, and Jack will only hate me more. I just...need to stay on my toes and not fuck up. Getting up slowly, I found a light switch and looked down over myself. There was no visible bruising, yet. My arm might show one in a few hours, I was going to have to grab a sweatshirt or something. Everything else Jack hit was easily hidden. Finding some paper towels, I wiped away my tear stained face, any make up I had, and cleared my nose.

Looks like I'm going have to be a good liar.

Notes

Well, Jack's lost it.