Jack

I stood there breathing heavily. My chest hurt, and the ice-like feeling had returned.

'Jack?' They both said in unison, obviously surprised to see me here. I would be too.

'Who's Jack?' I asked, my voice steady. 'There's no Jack here.' I turned and walked out, trying to make my movements fluid and not jerky or stiff. Jack is just a figment of your imagination.

I walked back out of Alex's house, my heart crushed. I held back my tears though; and soldiered on. I couldn't get back on a bus; they would only follow me. My feet picked along the familiar path, the six-month absence not affecting my memory. I came to a stop and looked at the orange and red leaves falling slowly around me. When I had first met Alex at this very spot, the leaves had been new and full of life; bright green had decorated the vibrant skies, with multicoloured patches bursting through the green on the ground.

I sat on the bench and heard the crunching of footsteps behind me.

'Oh, Jack.' May walked around in front of me, tears streaming down her face.

'Not now, May.'

'Jack -'

'I said no, May.' I snapped at her.

'Jack, you have to listen to me. That kiss, it was just on impulse. There is nothing going on between Alex and I! Besides, you were the one who ran away, Jack. You have no rights over Alex; you guys weren't official or anything. So what if something sprung up between Alex and I? We were there for each other, Jack.' May said, refusing to let me interrupt her.

'May, I told him two months ago that I loved him. He knew my feelings.'

'And guess who was there to get him through the heartbreak that ensued? It sure as hell wasn't you.'

'Stop fighting, please.' I heard Alex say.

'Not now, Lex,' May sighed, 'Jack and I have some things to discuss.'

Not now, Lex.

Lex.

That's my pet name for him.

Alex shoved his hands in pockets and looked between us. His eyes looked lost, as though he was torn between us.

''Kay.' He said softly. He had his acoustic guitar in hand and a cup in the other. It only had his name on it. No Ravens sticker or anything. He shuffled off, peeking back at us every few metres, before seating himself on the side of the path and plucking away at his guitar.

'Lex?' I said sadly.

'Jack! We were there for each other. We've grown close. You can't just waltz in, take him away and lock him up. As much as you may hate the thought that another family member knows him well, you just have to suck it up.'

I sighed, a question that I had suppressed finding it's way to the surface again. I could worry about May's relationship with Alex later.

'How did they take it? Me being...' I let the rest of the sentence hang in the air. May bit her lip.

'Dad's drinking has gotten worse. This morning I was helping him with a hangover. He was drinking the whole week, Jackie. Not letting himself stop because the reality was too hard to bear. It's gone on like this the whole time. Mum's always riding a high and is wasting all her money on different drugs; not just cocaine now.' May had tears in her eyes and was furiously wiping them away.

'What about Joe? And Leeyh?' May shook her head; pressing her lips tightly against each other.

'May, tell me about my brothers.' I said, tears springing to my own eyes.

'Joe's moved out. Into an apartment. Just to get away. It's not his fault; I'd move too. But I can't Mum and Dad need me too much.'

'And Leeyh?' May looked at me finally, her brown eyes so similar to my own meeting my steady gaze.

'I'll have to show you.'

- - -

We had left Alex at the park; he had watched our departure with a sad smile. As though he knew where May was taking me. We reached the town graveyard, and I stiffened. He couldn't have. Not Leeyh.

May strode on, without a falter in her step.

'What's the time, Jack?'

'Two,' May nodded and headed to where the newer graves were, 'why?'

May didn't answer, continuing to walk. I caught up to her and linked my hand in hers. She looked down in surprise at our hands. She then disregarded it and pulled me over to the side of the path, standing behind a tree. She looked out over at the graves and nodded her head. I looked in her direction and saw a man sitting on a bench, his hair unkempt and his hands shaking. Tears were streaming down his face and he was talking. A few words carried on to our hiding spot.

'...May's - May's always out, now.. I dunno where she goes. Nobody does, aye. I bet you do, though. You - you always knew ev'rything...'

'Leeyh pretends that you died, Jack. He got a tombstone made and everything. It even has your name on it.' Leeyh stood up and left, saying,

'Bye Jackie.. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?' May waited until he was gone until she took me to my "grave".

On it, engraved in all capitals, was,

JACK BASSAM BARAKAT
18 JUNE 1988 - 15 APRIL 2012
24 YEARS OLD
STRAIGHT UNTIL THE DAY HE DIED

'Why did he put down a sexuality?' I asked, slightly confused.

'To convince himself of the lie? I don't know.' May said. 'All I know is that nobody's taken well to you being with Alex.' May turned to me.

'Jack, I want to leave Baltimore. With you and Alex. I can't live here and watch my family destroy themselves.' May leaned against me, wrapping her arms around my middle. I felt a wetness on my shirt and looked down to see that she was crying.

'Don't worry, May. We'll leave.'

'For good?'

I hesitated. What was left here for me? I know knew the truth about my family. It would be easy to just throw it all away. But so hard too. I took a last look at May's tear-stained face.

'Yes.'

Notes

Title cred: A Trophy Father's Trophy Son - Sleeping With Sirens
c0l0urfultears

Woah. Jack's family is really homophobic.... (Except May)