Class could not have gone by any slower. I was so sick of this fucking routine. Wake up, get ready, avoid Ember on the way out and avoid Morgan when I got to school. Class. Class. Lunch. Watch Ember hang with her 'new' friends while my own were afraid to speak around me. Class. Class. Class. Parking lot, wave goodbye. Home. Sleep. Wake up and do it all again the next day.


Honestly, I was still beating myself up for the things I said to Ember. What the fuck was I thinking, comparing her to Morgan? Yeah, Morgan was a good lay, but she didn't have shit on Ember. Why did that even matter? It was just sex. Then I had to go and mention her mom, just to hurt her. I'm such a fucking prick. My emotions just get the better of me
sometimes and I have no idea how to cope; the only thing I do know how to do is drag other people down with me. Ember didn't deserve to be treated the way I'd treated her.


I drove us home that night without saying another word. I should have corrected her, I should have poured my heart out to her right then and there, but what's the fucking point? She just would have left me on my own after I embarrassed myself trying to get her back. They always do. Love doesn't last - My broken family was the perfect example of that. Without even realizing it, I was letting myself turn into my father. The one man I never wanted to be. Now I'd broken a girl the way he'd broken my mother.


Ember hadn't spoken to me for at least three days straight. We ate dinner at different times, my mom never questioning Ember when she didn't come down for fear of upsetting her. It was driving me crazy. I wanted to be involved in her life. I wanted to know where she went after school and who gave her a ride home. She was right fucking there, but I couldn't speak to her. I wouldn't even know what to say by this point.


The guys were worried about me, even though Rian didn't understand what had gotten into me. I just told him Ember and I shared really hurtful words and I wasn't ready to let them go yet. They tried like Hell to get me to hang out after school, but I refused. The way I've been feeling, the entire world can kiss my ass. I'm done.


When finally the bell did ring, I grabbed my books and ran. It was Friday, which meant it's been four days since everything went down. Tonight, I'd be going wherever the wind blows. The first place I could grab enough booze to drink Ember away is where I would start.


Stepping out into the hall, I noticed Alex and the guys circled around Cass, who was pointing her finger in the direction of Ember. Oh, God, she was trying to talk them into inviting Ember to hang with them. A simple solution to that problem: I went the other way.


My arms pushed the doors open and I was finally free. Well, almost. There was a busty blonde sitting on the hood of my car with a playful look in her eyes. Fuck, I don't want to deal with her today. I don't want to deal with anyone if their name isn't Ember Meadows.


"Jack," Morgan nodded, a smirk on her lips. "You haven't been acting right. Took me a while to find your car since for some reason it wasn't parked near Alex's. Everything okay?"


"I'm fucking peachy," I growled, walking right past her to open my car door. "Please get off the hood. I'd hate to have to run you over."


"God, Jack, I haven't seen you this bitter since.." Her eyes grew wide, as did her smile. "You and the girl broke up, didn't you? Poor baby, you're probably crushed."


She crawled off of the hood and came to where I was standing, wrapping her arms around my torso. It was so strange to be able to look directly into her eyes. I was so used to Ember, and how small she is.


Speak of the Devil.


Ember came out of the building, her arms linked with Hayley and some jock.. But she was smiling. It took her four days to get over me and find a new happy place? Fuck that. Fuck her.


"Get off of me," I sighed, trying to get away from Morgan and into my car. "I can't be here right now."


"If I didn't know any better, I'd say the girl goes here," Morgan pursed her lips, playfully making a 'thinking' noise. "I can fix you, you know. There's this party going that I was invited to.. None of these kids will be there."


"Promise?"


"Swear it," she grinned. "Give me a lift and I'll make sure you drink every bad memory away, Jacky."


I bit the inside of my lip, debating on whether or not I really wanted to do this.. But watching Ember part ways with her 'other' friends to go hug Alex made me lose it. My mind was made up. I nodded my head in the direction of my car and Morgan went straight to the passenger door. We got in with ease, a comfortable silence falling over us. I made sure to burn rubber right passed my friends and ex as we left the parking lot.


Wherever this party was, it took us at least forty minutes to get there. Needless to say, it had already started. Morgan lifted her boobs, put on some lip gloss and nodded for me to follow after her. It was in the backyard of a really big house, and fuck, were there a lot of slutty girls already drunk. I didn't recognize anyone here, so that much made me happy.


I followed Morgan to the table that held all of the booze. She mixed herself a fruity drink while I filled a cup full of straight vodka. We stood awkwardly by the table for a while, not really having much to say to each other, but the more into my cup I got, the more loose I started to feel.


"Do you wanna.. ?"


She looked to where a bunch of people were dancing, which forced me to look down at my almost empty cup. Vodka wasn't going to cut it. Finishing off what was left in the solo cup, my fingers wrapped around a bottle of Jack and a bottle of SOCO. Knowing this would probably make me sick as Hell, I reminded myself of the tiny brunette that put me in this state in the first place. Fuck it. I'd puke my guts out if it meant forgetting her right now.


Taking the first sip, I nearly gagged on the contents in my cup. It tasted horrible, but it'd work. I made myself down half of the cup before I nodded at Morgan, letting her grab my hand and lead me to the dancing area. When she pressed her ass against my dick and started to grind, that's when the alcohol really hit me. My head started to swim but I did my best to hang on to reality.


The minutes passed and before I know what I was doing, I was leaning into Morgan's body, grinning as she whispered in my ear. I'm not sure when it happened, but my cup was empty, which told me I needed more. I staggered over to the booze table and tried to pour myself another cup, but ended up missing and spilling most of it.


"Jack, I think you've had enough," Morgan frowned, pulling the bottle from my hand. "We've barely been here for an hour and you're already wasted. Slow down."


"W-Why should I slow down?" I slurred, grabbing another bottle. Only this time, I put the whole thing to my lips. "You think she cares what I'm out doin'?"


"Probably not," Morgan admitted, caution in her eyes. "But I do. And I'm here. And I'm asking you to stop. Jack, please. Drinking this much will land you in the hospital. I didn't know it was this bad when I invited you here. Please, stop."


"Bad? You think this is bad? This is good, Morgan. I'm fucking great. No fucking Elf bossing me around. No friends to give a shit where the fuck I am. I mean, I literally have nothing to give a fuck about!"


"Jack, you're scaring me. Why don't you go sit down and I'll make you another cup? We can talk this out like adults."


The idea of sitting was nice, and so was getting a cup full of fresh whiskey and liquor. So, I nodded my head and staggered over to a bench. The world was spinning around me. My insides were burning up and I felt like I needed to puke, but I wouldn't do that until I couldn't remember Ember's name. I was so close to forgetting. I just need to forget.


There was a couple sitting on the opposite side of the bench, pawing at each other like animals. Ember and I would get that way when we had a moment to relax, like that time in the janitor's closet. It made me sick. Leaning over slightly, I tapped the guy on the shoulder and smiled a drunken smile.


"She's just gonna break your heart, you know," I hiccuped, trying to hold down the booze. "And then you'll be sad and shit. It ain't worth being sad and shit."


They looked at me like I was crazy and got up to leave. Damn, they move fast. Isn't that what Morgan should be doing with my drink? With that thought lingering, I got up, moving towards the table that held the sweet flavors, only to see Morgan on the phone with a pale face.


"- I didn't know it was this bad, Alex! He's had more shots than I can count and he's talking about how he has like, nothing to live for. If he knew I was calling you-"


"He knows," I murmured, grabbing the bottle of Jack. "And he's leaving."


"What? Jack, you can't drive! Come back! I'm sorry!"


Taking a long swig of the bottle, I dug around my pocket for my keys. Bingo. Saying I was pissed would be the understatement of the year. Of all the people to turn on me, I never expected Morgan to do it. Not now. Not while she was trying to win me back.
As I stumbled through the yard and towards my car, I heard one last thing leave Morgan's mouth: Alex, he's leaving. He's going to drive and I can't stop him. I remember what Jack's like when he's mad. Alex, fucking, please, just help!


Yeah, right. Like Alex even fucking cared about me anymore. He had Ember all to himself now and she'd probably get with him just to make me hurt. Like I needed any more fucking hurt. With a fuzzy mind and a broken heart, I climbed into the driver's seat and started my car.


Once on the road, I opened and tipped back the bottle, wondering where the fuck I was going to go. Who did I even have to go to anymore? I could go where my dad went when he was upset. I could go the bar, hide in the crowd and pass out. Yeah, that's what I was going to do.


What I didn't expect to happen was a telephone pole coming out of nowhere. I slammed on the brakes - I think - But it was too late. My car smashed into the pole without even caring that I was inside. There was smoke everywhere and my head was pounding. I wanted to call for help, or at the very least, grab my bottle. But I couldn't move my arm. I couldn't move anything.


Then, the most peaceful feeling washed over me and everything went black.

Notes

I am an emotional wreck over Glee. This is what happens when TV shows make me cry.
But.. Leave comments? ;]
-Jess.