I look at Jack and he smiles at me. I smile back and stare at him, zoning out. He's kinda cute. He looks a bit nervous, but it's adorable.

Oh my god... I know I'm gay, but I don't even know this kid! He looks a bit shy. I've had a boyfriend before. He ended up hurting me. It was bad. I was heart broken.

I realize I was digging my nails into my wrist and I was zoned out looking at Jack.

"You okay, Alex?" Rian asks. I nod, covering my wrist quickly. "Alright. Well, we should get to class."

We start down the hall and Rian turns around.

"Jack are you coming?"

"Oh... Yeah. Sorry." He mumbles.

He follows us and looks at me with wide innocent eyes. I feel my heart melt. He's so adorable. Alex you just met him! Snap out of it!

I'm interrupted by stinging in my wrist and realize I have, again, attacked my wrists. I really need to stop. If I don't stop someone will see me and start pegging me as emo. I don't need to stop just that, I need to stop over thinking. It leads to that.

I slip into a seat in between Rian and Jack. Jack pokes me and I look at him, flashing him a sweet smile.


"Hi." He greets. I smile. "Um... Sorry if I seem a bit shy... I'm bullied a lot and I'm not talkative around new kids."

"It's true. He's usually loud and obnoxious." Rian butts in. Jack nods and bites his lip.

"It's fine." I say. "I can adjust the less obnoxious side of you first and ease into the loud one." I laugh.

He smiles. "You're not too bad." He says.

"Did you think I was?" I ask. He shakes his head quickly. "I'm kidding."

"Oh." He says, blushing and looking down.

"Whoa, Barakat! Looking a bit more nervous than usual, I see." Rian comments. Jack hits him and slouches in his chair, staring blankly at the lady in front of the room.

I zone out and glance at Jack. You know what makes him perfect? He's shy, but he's loud. I love that. His hair lies perfectly over his eyes and it has patches of blonde in it. That's why I say skunk like hair. Why does he get bullied? He's perfect! Absolutely perfect!

I find myself smiling and put my hand over my mouth so no one sees. I wonder what he's thinking about. Me? No. That's impossible. Maybe he has a girlfriend. I can tell he's straight. Every time I've liked someone they've been straight. I'm just the lonely gay loser. I'm-

"Alex?" I blink a few times and realize the teacher was calling my name. "Alex?"

"What? Sorry." I say.

I feel my cheeks heat up as people start whispering to each other. Probably words like ugly, emo and gay. STOP IT! STOP!

"Would you like to come up and share something about yourself?" She asks. I bite my lip seeing Zack is in my class. Damn...

"Um... S-"

"Gay." I hear Zack say through a fake cough. "Emo." He does the same thing again, through another fake cough. My cheeks heat up again. "Sure."

I stand up and jump over Zack's foot that was hanging outside his desk, meant for tripping me. I stand in front of the class. I feel so self conscious.

I feel as though everyone's eyes immediately looked at my wrists. I pull my sleeves over my hands ensuring no one sees my wrists and takes a deep breath, playing with the hem of my shirt.

"I'm Alex Gaskarth. I'm from Essex, England. Um... I'm not gonna get personal because it's my business. I play guitar and I've heard I'm a good singer, but I honestly suck. Any questions?" I ask. The class stays quiet. "Good."

"Wait! Why are you so stupid?" Zack asks.

"Now, Zack." The teacher says. I slowly go back to my seat and bury my head in my hands. I'm not going to try to talk to anyone. I hate socializing.

The only one who can make me talk is Jack. He pokes me and hands me a post it note, with words in it:

~Hey, we should hang out today. U up 4 it?--Jack~
~Sure. Your house okay?--Alex~
~Yeah--Jack~
~Cool:)--Alex~

School drags by and I finally get to leave. I find Jack at his locker and fling my backpack over my shoulder. I poke him and he jumps a little, making me hold my arms up in surrender.

"Sorry." I say. He laugh and nudges me.

"You alright? You seem a bit jumpy."

"Yeah, I'm fine." He says. I spot Zack and duck my head. "At least I will be when we leave school grounds."

We duck out of school and then I follow him to his house. We walk in and he tosses his bag to the side. I do too and follow him into the kitchen.

"Hey, mom. This is Alex." Jack says.

"Hi, Alex! I'm Jack's mom. Call me Joyce." She says. I smile and nod. "You're welcome here anytime."

"Thanks." I smile. I guess she can tell I'm a good person? Jack grabs my arm and drags me up the stairs. I have fresh cuts on that arm so it stings... Like hell. I bite my lip and we get to his room.

"When should you go home?"

"Whenever you need me too. I have no life after school." I say. Literally. It's full of under-aged drinking, cutting and crying. It's full of depression, possible anxiety and panic attacks.

"Is eight good? We eat at six." He says. Damn it! Should I make up an excuse to leave early? So I don't have to eat? Yeah. I should.

"I just remembered! I have something to do at six!" I say. He pouts. I would do anything to wipe that off his face. Fuck Alex! STOP!

"Let's make the next two hours the best ever." I say. He smiles and nods. I see a guitar in the corner of the room. "You play?" He nods.

"Of course." He grabs it and starts strumming a Blink song.

"All the Small Things?" I ask. He nods. "I love that song! Can I ay you a song I wrote?"

"Sure!" He says, handing me his guitar. I start strumming and I smile at him.

"Time to lay claim to the evidence. Finger prints sold me out, but our footprints wash away from the docks down town. It's been getting late for days, and I feel myself deserving of a little time of. We can kick it here for hours and just mouth off about the world and how we know it's going straight to hell. Pass me another bottle honey the Jager's so sweet but if it keeps you around then I'm down." I sing.

I smile and he smiles back.

"Meet me on Thames street. I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time. In the cold you look so fierce, but I'm warm enough because the tension's like a fire. We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line Fall in the grave I've been digging myself But there's room for two Six feet under the stars." I sing.

I finish the song and I smile at him as he claps.

"Thanks... I wrote it myself."

"I love it." He says.

I get so distracted about the fact that someone likes my music that I forgot my cuts and pull my sleeves up to my elbow revealing my forearm with rows and rows and rows of scars and fresh cuts.

Notes

Hai you guys! I posted earlier because I may not be able to later! So enjoy it!!
comment/rate/subscribe
-Jenna<3
title credit: King For A Day; Pierce the Veil