Alex~
I woke up in the morning to find my father in the room again. Seriously though, doesn't he have patients to take care of or something?

"Morning Alex," he said, smiling in my direction, "Sleep well?"

I shrugged, "I guess. I'm in the hospital, it's not exactly the picture perfect sleeping environment."

He chuckled lightly, "Don't I know it. But in all seriousness, you know you're here from your own doings right?"

I bit my lip and nodded slowly, "I tried to kill myself, I know."

"And how do you feel now?" he pressed.

I shrugged again, but contemplated before answering, "I don't know, confused mainly. You're here, and I didn't expect that. I guess, I actually feel ok. Like, I'm still sad, but I feel more at peace."

He smiled softly, "That's good son, I'm glad. What exactly was making you so sad in the first place? I want you to be ok, so I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy again."

He caught me by surprise with that one. I didn't think that he'd actually care that I attempted to take my own life. But hey, everything's so weird right now, I guess I can't really expect anything.

"Well, everything started mainly after you left," I explained, "After that, mom changed. She had always liked Tom more than me, you know that. But she became even colder towards me. She would go out and not come home for days, and when she did she'd smell of alcohol and cheap perfume. She said from pretty nasty things to me, but she never hit me. I wanted so badly to be the son she wanted, to become Tom almost."

"But you're not Tom," dad interrupted, "You're Alex, and that should've been good enough for her."

I gave him a sad smile, "I know," and continued, "I was so desperate. I was so dicusted in myself that I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep; negative thoughts consumed me so much and I couldn't take it," I took an unsteady breath, "I started cutting. It didn't make me feel any better, but I deserved the pain. I couldn't be the perfect son, so why should I be happy?"

"Alex," dad said, his brow furrowed in deep thought, "What about your friends? They must've noticed you changing, they seemed so worried yesterday..."

I almost started laughing, "I didn't have friends at this point. Over the summer I cut to deep and had to go to the hospital. I wasn't trying to kill myself at that point, it just got overwhelmingly out of hand. They sent me to therapy, which I admittedly stopped going to after school started. But it did get me one thing, the therapist thought I should switch schools, get a fresh start. So I did, and that's how I met Jack, Rian, Zack and Matt."

He looked at me with sad eyes, "I'm sorry you had to go through with that son. I never should've left you with her, I knew she wasn't coping well, but neither was I. I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you."

I smiled at him. It was a genuine smile this time, "I got better for a little while," I said quietly,
"Jack scared me shitless about the not eating thing, and Mrs. Barakat threatened to send me to a loony bin one time when I needed stitches. But, I still couldn't shake the feeling of loneliness when I was with the people that cared about me."

"Do the Barakats have custody of you?" he asked. I never really thought of that.

I shook my head, "When mom od'ed I just kind of started staying there. It's only been a few days, I don't know what's going to happen."

"I'd love if you were to come live with me," he said quietly, like he was unsure of himself.

"Yeah, I guess that'll work," I responded after contemplating. It would suck to not be with Jack 24/7, but in retrospect it's probably better for our relationship that I don't live with him yet.

I saw my dad’s face light up, “Thank you Alex,” he gushed, “I won’t let you regret this decision. I don’t want you to be in anymore pain.”

I still doubted that he wouldn’t leave me in the end. But I’m done caring, even if he’s going to leave, why not enjoy it while it lasts? This way even if he does leave, I’ll at least have some memories of having a family. That’ll be nice for a while. I’ve come to find being loved is something I really liked, so why not indulge myself on the love from others while I have the chance?

It wasn’t much later when dad’s shift started and he had to leave. But that’s ok, because as he was leaving, Jack and his mom came in. Jack gave my dad a look that was barely short of a glare. Dad bit his lip before walking out. I’ll have to remember to talk to Jack later; I do not need them hating each other.

“Hey Lexy!” Jack exclaimed, running over to kiss me on the forehead, “How you feeling this morning?”

“I’m pretty good,” I chuckled, “But obviously not as good as you, you seem really happy right now.”

He smiled and shrugged, “I guess I am. I’m just glad that you’re ok I guess. I was really freaked out for a while. But the doctor said you can leave tomorrow, so that’s great!”

“That is good!” I smiled with him. I’m so excited to leave this damned hospital and to a real bed. Even if it’ll be at a new house, anywhere will be better than here.

“And I talked to the guy from Emerald Moon,” he explained, “He gave us an extended deadline to make up our minds about the contract because of the situation. He also sends his wishes by the way.”

“That’s great!” I said, truly relived, “I didn’t think about the record deal or the band…”

“Hey Lex, stop it,” he said, suddenly serious, “I know you’re probably upset, but you are completely wrong if you think I’m ever going to let you be sad again.”

I gave him a halfhearted smile, “You sound like my dad,”

His face became even sterner than before, “What are you going to do about him?”

“He asked me to move in with him when I get out, and I said I would.”

Notes

Title Cred: Pierce the Veil- Yeah Boy and Doll Face

~ Mary<3