He stood so tall, so wounded, but so strong. I watched his long legs as he slowly took a step closer to me, moving himself out of the way so that Alex could squeeze by him and run off for his photo-shoot with Char. When I heard the door close softly behind him, I found myself almost afraid to be alone with Jack. Now that we were face-to-face, I could see small stubble growing along his chin. His lips were pink, and his face matched. That dark hair fell into his eyes, but even through the strands of hair, I could see a sadness in his soul. It was one I hoped I would never see again.

"You still look like the broken-hearted boy I saw across the street," I breathed, feeling my legs begin to cramp. They no longer wanted to hold my body weight.

"And you still look like the blonde angel I used to think you were," Jack smiled slightly, shoving his hands in his pockets as he shifted his weight. "I thought I had forgiven you for what you've done.. But seeing you now, it's like all those bad feelings are coming back to haunt me."

I sighed heavily. There's no way I could ever make Jack understand my actions, or the feelings behind them. I just wanted to feel alive, is that really too much to ask for?

"Maybe we should skip over the small talk and get straight to the interview," he mumbled. "This is getting awkward."

I nodded, a sense of shame washing over my body. So many times I had reminded myself of how I'd done him wrong, but just for once, I wish someone could see things from my point of view. If they could feel the things I felt back then, maybe even now, they wouldn't think of me so cruely.

"I-Uh, okay," I sighed, knowing that he would never want to hear my side of the story. "Usually when I do these things, I have a good energy with the band so it just flows. I have no idea what to ask you."

"Is that why you and Alex didn't finish this, or was it because you had your tongues down each other's throats, like the last time I saw you?"

"Jack...."

"All right, fine," Jack groaned, running a hand over his tired face. I watched him closely as he moved away from me and sat down on the ugly, worn out couch. It reminded me a lot of the basement we used to stay in, the musty smell, and the old 70's look. I missed that place. Sometimes I wished I could just be young again. "If none of this ever happened, if we still wanted to see each other.. What would you ask me?"

"Well, what happened to you, Jack?" I was nervous to do so, but I slowly shifted my weight just as he had and pulled out my recorder. I knew there was no way my shaky hands could properly write down all of his answers. Hitting the record button, I let my body fall on the couch beside him. "Tell me, why is it that nine times out of ten, the members of All Time Low can be found drunk?"

"The honest answer?" Jack snickered, brushing his bangs to the side. "Because we had to face something as a group that changed us forever. What the fans want to hear? We're fucking rockstars, if we were supposed to be sober, we would have gone to college."

"What's your favorite thing about playing a show in your home town?"

"Well gosh, it's so rare just to be able to go home and chill out, so when we get there and start playing.. It's like, we look out and see all these familiar faces. Some who have supported us since the get-go, some who looked down on us. It's like a big FUCK YOU. Not to mention, it's always great to see new fans, who are so proud that we come from the same town."

"Do you ever see any fans in the crowd that just stand out to you?"

"Oh, totally. Sometimes I look at the crowd and think... Fuck, why are they all minors?"

I shifted my weight again, feeling very uncomfortable. I knew Jack didn't have relationships with people, but that clearly didn't mean he didn't have relations with them. I had no right to judge, after the things I had done, but I couldn't help but feel a little sick at the though. Perhaps it was selfish, thinking that I was the only girl Jack Barakat ever wanted, however- that's exactly how I felt. Just knowing that there were more people out there who caught his attention made me feel bad. It was clear now, in losing Alex, I had officially lost Jack, too.

"Uh... What was the best part about finding out you'd been signed and leaving for a real tour, the very first time?"

"Do you really want to know?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I think so.."

"Okay. There was this girl that I used to date, and I loved her a lot. She fucked me over, like seriously fucked me over. So after a few months I decided, why the Hell am I sitting here crying over some chick who chose sex over love? And that's when I called up my best friends, made up with him and agreed to this whole band thing all over again. The day we left for tour, I felt okay again, because I had the one thing she wanted most. I had him, and she'd never have him again."

I didn't dare look at him. My heart was pounding roughly against my chest and my lungs seemed to forget how to breathe. With my eyes glued to floor, I hit the stop button on my recorder, fighting back tears that threatened to spill. Was that really what all of this was for? My leaving, my bruised, broken heart.. It was all for a revenge plot? I suddenly didn't feel so bad. Wounded, yes, but angry more than anything. Alex and Jack were supposed to go back to how they used to be. They were supposed to be happy. I had put myself through Hell, for nothing.

It was then that I heard Charlotte's boots clicking against the dirty floor. My orbs landed on Jack's. His dark eyes were clouded, and he had a nearly sickening grin on his face.

"Jen, are we done here?"

I slowly turned around, certain that my face had gone pale, and my eyes were still glazed with tears. Char didn't look much better than I. She seemed flustered.

"Yeah," I took one last look at Jack. He was now towering over me, seeming proud as he offered me his hand so I could stand up. Even though I didn't want to, I laced my fingers around his rough fist and pulled myself up. When I gained my balance, along with some of my composure, I dropped his hand, turning my head so that I could take one more glance at Alex. The moment had come again. It was time to say goodbye to the man I loved, the man I longed for, only hoping that our paths would cross again some day.

"It's been good?" Alex shrugged, offering me a grin. Knowing what I now knew about Jack, it scared me to see the playful look in his eyes. "Seriously. It was great seeing you again. Don't make us sound too bad, okay?"

I nodded, trying to find my words. My mouth was so dry, and my throat was throbbing from the lump I had to swallow. Charlotte put her hand on my arm, motioning for me to follow her out of the room so we could head home, but I stopped her just before her fingers grabbed the knob.

"I love you, Alex."

His smile fell. Those big brown eyes darted back and forth between me and Jack, who now looked like he could literally kill someone. There was no way I'd get a response with Jack here, not even a bad one, so I bitterly choked down my pride and began my journey back home.

　

Notes

I'm gonna be honest, my muse for this story is gone.. So stick it out with me until I get back in the grove of writing this.. Please?! <3.