If you could choose

It’s been a week since I sang with Vic on stage and really I’ve avoided everyone. It’s just been harder to deal with all the things going on in my head without ways of getting it out. I do my job and go to bed with a bottle of jack then get up and do it again. Bass stopped calling and so did Chris, I think I’m a burden. Currently I’m sitting in the back lounge during the show and downing a bottle of vodka. Sitting with my back to the sofa but on the floor I finished the bottle off with one last swig.

I stand up with help of the couch and stumble towards my suit case. I’m hungry so I’m gonna head to the nearest taco bell. I’m in desperate need of Mexican food. I open it up and look through it pulling out some clothes to wear that won’t smell like death. I slip on a blue and white striped halter top and some jeans along with some dinosaur socks cause dinosaurs are the shit. I finish and realize I not only left my phone in the dressing room but my wallet as well, go figure. I jump off the bus and head into the doors of the venue trying to act as sober as possible and head towards the dressing room.

“Paige.” I hear from behind me. I curse under my breath and turn around slowly. “Yes?” I question looking at Jack. “Where have you been, I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever?” “Around.” I said back and turned towards the dressing room. I walked in and it figures all my boys are in here cause their show just ended. I walk over to the table and grab my phone and wallet. “Hey, Paige. Where you headed?” Zack asks sitting up, that’s when everyone notices I’m in there. My cheeks are already bright red from all the alcohol.

“Hey, guys. I’m going down the street.” I said and went to leave the room but bumped into Matt. I tripped over the side of the couch and flopped across Alex and Zack’s laps. “Shit, Matt. Watch where you're going.” I said rolling off their laps and onto the floor. I stood up but had to use the coffee table to pull me up. I went to leave but Matt blocked my exit. “Move Matt, please. I’m hungry.” I said trying to get him to move. “Come closer.” He said to me. I stepped forward and he pulled me in and tickled my sides.

I didn’t laugh and that’s when I realized he knew I was drunk. I moved past him and got out of the room. “Paige Elizabeth!” Matt yelled. “Give it up Matt. I don’t give a shit.” I said and pushed open the venue doors. I started walking down the sidewalk and towards wherever I could find mexican food. I walked past a barbeque place and all I had to do was smell the air, I hate barbeque. My stomach flipped and I no longer wanted any food. I walked over and a random wall and leaned against it while I pulled out my phone and decided and give Bass a call. I pushed the phone to my ear and let it ring and ring and ring before it went to voice mail.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Whatever I did, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it I promise, please don’t hate me. I’m sorry I didn’t stay longer, I’m sorry I left. Please call me back when you get this, you loved me when nobody else did.” I pushed the phone to my forehead while tears rolled down my face. “I’m having a mental breakdown and you’re not answering the phone, I’m afraid I’m gonna do something stupid.” I continued to talk to my phone as I fell to the ground.

“Bass…I don’t wanna live anymore. My dad’s dead, my mom’s lost, I’m a burden to you and Chris and my brother must hate me for fucking up this tour. Not to mention I’m dragging my friends down with me.” Then the little beep signaling the end of my phone call. I dropped my phone and leaned into my hands pressing my face to my palms and bringing my knees up to my chest. I sat there for a second before hearing my phone beep. I picked it up. “What can I help you with today?” Siri asked. I looked around and wiped my face. I sniffled. “Nearest airport.” I said as she calculated the closest one.

“Nearest one is 1.2 miles away. Would you like to map a route to it’s location?” I closed
Siri and got up quickly, now feeling much better, I felt like there was no alcohol inside of me. I ran as fast as I could back to the buses. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I jump onto the bus and run to the back lounge. I grab my suitcase and shove all my stuff in it, everything out of the bathroom and all the stuff in my bunk. Throwing my suitcase off the bus I make sure I have everything and then call up a cab. Standing there waiting for the cab two arms snake their way around my waist. “Hey you.” Tony says into the crook of my neck.

I pull away and place my hand on his chest. “What’s wrong?” He asked. “Nothing, I’ve never been better.” He stepped forward and pulled me into a hug. “Then why push me away.” “Cause...I’m leaving.” He pulled away and stared at me. “Where are you going?” He asked getting a little loud. “Tony, shhh.” I said covering his mouth. “I’m running off for a while. I have a drinking problem, just give me time. I’ll comeback eventually, I just… I need to do this.” I said pulling my hand away. He blew out some air and looked at me. “Are you sure you have to go?”

I nodded. “It’s for the best anyways. Just trust me.” He took his right hand and cupped my left cheek. “I trust you.” I smiled at him as the cab pulled up. “Tony, don’t tell anyone alright? Just let it go, let me go. It’s easiest this way for everyone.” He smiled at me. “Wait.” I had opened the door to the cab. I turned around and Tony pulled me into him pushing his lips against mine. I kissed him for a minute before pushing away. “Tony, you’re only making this harder.” I leaned my head against his shoulder. “I know.” “Then why do it?” I asked looking at him.

“ I was hoping it would change your mind.” He smiled down at me and I smiled back. “Sorry.” I said and kissed his cheek. I threw my bag into the cab and climbed in. The door shut and I* told the guy where to go. He did as I asked and drove to the airport. I paid him what I owed him and got out wheeling my bag behind me. I got to the counter. “How may I help you?” The woman asked. “I’d like a one way ticket please.” I said handing her my card. “Alright, and where to?” I smiled really big. “Australia.” I said.

“Wow, big trip for a little girl.” She said. “Wait, excuse you?” I asked. “Well, you’re just young is all. I mean where’s your parents?” “One is dead and the other is an alcoholic manic.” I took the ticket from her hand along with my card. “And I’m 18 so I’m allowed to do whatever I want thank you.” I said and left her to find my plane. I sat down cause our plane would leave soon but hasn’t boarded yet. What would Matt think? What would the guys think? What would Alex think? What would anyone think when the heard I was gone.

They’d probably celebrate and be happy I finally left. I didn’t have very long to think before I got my bag checked and boarded my plane. I sat down a little happy about this whole situation. I’m leaving and may or may not come back. I’ll finally be free and will finally have no restrictions on what I can do with my life. I leaned back in my seat and tilted my head back when my phone started to ring. I pulled it out and answered it.

Me: Hello.
Matt: Paige, where are you? We can’t find you, you’re giving me a heart attack!
Me: Matt, breathe. Just leave without me.
Matt: Leave without you?! Are you crazy?! I’m putting you on speaker, maybe they can decipher whatever the fuck you’re saying!
Me: Matt, please breather. I’m fine, I’m more than fine-
Alex: Where are you, I’ll come get you.
Me: No, that’s a bad idea.
Rian: You’re really freaking me out, Paige I’m worried where are you?
Me: UGH, let me leave, let me live. I love you guys.
Jack: PAIGE, I’m freaking out where are you?!
Me: Damn it you guys! I’m leaving, I’m gone and-

“Ms.” I turned to the stewardess. “Please, your cell phone, power it down.” She smiled at me. “Alright, just one second.” I went back to the arguing on my phone.

Matt: and I’m your older brother and should always have tabs on you and-
Me: Matt, shut the fuck up, alright? I’m fine, I’ll be fine. Love you I gotta go. Bye.

I hung up and turned off my phone like asked of me. I sat back in my chair once again and focused on the window. I shoved in my head phones and blasted music as the plane took off. New starts are what people look forward to in life and depend on. Without new starts life would be full of wrong decisions and bad choices, we have to learn and give room for change.

Notes

Alright guys, decided to go in a new direction with this story and these will be a sequel and the first chapter will probably be up later, please give me feed back, please, please, please. It makes this whole writing thing much better to hear back from the people who actually read it.

Outfit: http://www.polyvore.com/end_begining/set?id=111918596