I had been shocked when Jack had said the first few words. He continued to mumble after that, but I couldn’t understand anything. From time to time, he would whimper and flinch, but I felt totally helpless, the only thing I could do was trying to shake him awake. But he didn’t react; he was sleeping deeply. I touched his face, trying to get to him. I didn’t expect anything but when he tore his eyes open, I was incredibly relieved.

“Jack. Jay. My little sunflower. Hey. What is wrong? Can you hear me?” I was very worried, trying desperately to figure out what was wrong. He pronounced my name and then started to weep heartbreakingly. “Jay, what is it? You can tell me, you know? I love you” I was not ready to give up this easily but when he didn’t reply, I started singing an old Jewish lullaby he had once told me would always help him.

Numi, numi yaldati,
Numi, numi, nim.
Numi, numi k'tanati,
Numi, numi, nim.

My voice was husky, not perfect, but it seemed to help Jack. His sobs got less loud and less frequent as the minutes passed. When he fully stopped after a while, I didn’t pressure him to say anything, I patiently waited until he finally spoke.

“Alex… I need to confess something. There is a thing from my past which I also held back from you… I am so sorry…” His eyes got watery again but I shushed and kissed him lightly on the cheek. “Don’t worry Jay, today is the night of confessions.”

“Okay Lexy… So… Remember when you met my dad for the first time? What was your impression of him?” – “I thought he was a nice guy, why?” – “Yeah right… he always was like this on the outside. But when no one was around… You know he drank, right?” – “Yup, everyone knew…” – “But nobody besides me and my mum knew that… when he was drunk… he… he beat m-me.” Jack swallows hard, obviously trying not to cry again. “All the times you had bruises everywhere… was it him?”, I wanted to know. “Y-yes. I was so scared… He told me I didn’t deserve to live because… because I am gay. And he threatened to kill us if we ever told anyone about what he did…”, Jack answered slowly.

“Oh my god, my poor Jay-Jay… I didn’t know that. I always believed you when you said you’d fallen down the stairs or some footballer had beat you up. I am so sorry…” – “Don’t be… it was all my fault. And it is not the whole story…” – “Tell me, my sunflower. I love you.”

Jack started talking. Slowly at first, but after a few minutes, the words streamed out of him. He told me everything. About his family, his eating issues, the endless cycle of starving/bingeing/purging, his overexercising, even though he had already been underweight. I had noticed how underweight he had been, but thought it was because of growing and puberty.
“My baby sunflower… I am so sorry this all had to happen to you. But now, it is over, and you are safe. You are the perfect weight, and I will not let you slip back into old habits. I will protect you. Because I love you.” I said softly, cupping his face in my hands and tilting it up so he looked into my eyes and then kissed him, all while hugging him tightly.

Notes

I think the both are so cute together, don't you?
awh c:

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-Laura