Chased by the Past
Thinking about it (Jack POV)
I didn’t know what to feel. I was sick to the stomach, and my heart felt as if it was going to break. I couldn’t stop crying, even though I wanted to. My precious Alex, my favourite person in the whole world, had done such a thing to himself. I tried to form a coherent sentence, desperate to know why my boyfriend had been in enough pain to hurt himself this horribly. All I managed to get out though was: “Alex, why?” I looked at him seeing him open his mouth, but then he went slack. I had lost him again.
I didn’t know what to do. It was obvious that he had lost too much blood, and he needed immediate medical attention, but I was sure he didn’t want anyone else to know of his self-harm. But then again, what if he died? The thought of losing my soul mate made me cry even harder. So I started pulling his jeans back up, careful not to tear open old wounds. After dialling 911 and calling for an ambulance, I picked him up and carried him away from the bed.
Of course, Rian, Zack and the crew wanted to know what was wrong, but I just told them it was none of their business. I ignored their stupid jokes about a vibrator being stuck up in Alex’s ass and pushed past them.
Luckily, the ambulance was already in front of the bus. I thoughtfully laid him onto the stretcher and got on the car. I persuaded the paramedic, a young, inexperienced boy looking a bit like Alex, to let me sit at Alex’s side. I held his hand throughout the drive to the hospital, watching attentively as the boy took Alex’s pulse and blood pressure. My boyfriend’s pulse was weak and his blood pressure very low. I tried not to cry again, but I failed.
When we arrived at the hospital, Alex was wheeled off and I was told to wait on a hard, uncomfortable chair. I used the time I had to recall various memories of our time together, trying to figure out why I hadn’t noticed anything so far.
Alex had never seemed unhappy; he had always had a smile on his face. Only sometimes I had noticed it slipping off, but as soon as he had remarked me looking, the smile had always returned to his lips. I had assumed it was because he was happy to see me, but now, the full meaning behind it hit me. Alex had probably been depressed for a long time, but he had built a perfect façade to hide behind. I was hurt for a moment that he hadn’t opened up to me yet, but I thought he had maybe wanted to tell me a bit more into our relationship.
After about an hour, a nurse came and told me that I could now see Alex. I followed her to a door, dreading but also looking forward to seeing my boyfriend. I thanked the nurse and took a deep breath. I opened the door. There he was, my little angel, half lying, half sitting, wearing a hospital gown. He looked anxious.
“Hi Jack.” – “Hey Lexy. How are you feeling?” I asked him. He responded by opening his arms and gesturing for me to come in for a hug. I slowly strode over to him and let him wrap me up. “I’m still on anaesthetics, I can’t really feel anything”, he said. “Oh Lexy. I am so glad you’re still alive. But why did you do such a thing?”, I inquired distressedly, trying to stifle a sob. But I couldn’t help it, the tears started falling once again.
I didn’t know what to do. It was obvious that he had lost too much blood, and he needed immediate medical attention, but I was sure he didn’t want anyone else to know of his self-harm. But then again, what if he died? The thought of losing my soul mate made me cry even harder. So I started pulling his jeans back up, careful not to tear open old wounds. After dialling 911 and calling for an ambulance, I picked him up and carried him away from the bed.
Of course, Rian, Zack and the crew wanted to know what was wrong, but I just told them it was none of their business. I ignored their stupid jokes about a vibrator being stuck up in Alex’s ass and pushed past them.
Luckily, the ambulance was already in front of the bus. I thoughtfully laid him onto the stretcher and got on the car. I persuaded the paramedic, a young, inexperienced boy looking a bit like Alex, to let me sit at Alex’s side. I held his hand throughout the drive to the hospital, watching attentively as the boy took Alex’s pulse and blood pressure. My boyfriend’s pulse was weak and his blood pressure very low. I tried not to cry again, but I failed.
When we arrived at the hospital, Alex was wheeled off and I was told to wait on a hard, uncomfortable chair. I used the time I had to recall various memories of our time together, trying to figure out why I hadn’t noticed anything so far.
Alex had never seemed unhappy; he had always had a smile on his face. Only sometimes I had noticed it slipping off, but as soon as he had remarked me looking, the smile had always returned to his lips. I had assumed it was because he was happy to see me, but now, the full meaning behind it hit me. Alex had probably been depressed for a long time, but he had built a perfect façade to hide behind. I was hurt for a moment that he hadn’t opened up to me yet, but I thought he had maybe wanted to tell me a bit more into our relationship.
After about an hour, a nurse came and told me that I could now see Alex. I followed her to a door, dreading but also looking forward to seeing my boyfriend. I thanked the nurse and took a deep breath. I opened the door. There he was, my little angel, half lying, half sitting, wearing a hospital gown. He looked anxious.
“Hi Jack.” – “Hey Lexy. How are you feeling?” I asked him. He responded by opening his arms and gesturing for me to come in for a hug. I slowly strode over to him and let him wrap me up. “I’m still on anaesthetics, I can’t really feel anything”, he said. “Oh Lexy. I am so glad you’re still alive. But why did you do such a thing?”, I inquired distressedly, trying to stifle a sob. But I couldn’t help it, the tears started falling once again.
Notes
I am so happy that you like it! Keep on commenting, rating and subscribing c:-Laura
@captainanalbead
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4/18/14