The next day Jack stood outside of Madi’s door for a good 15 minutes before calming his nerves enough to convince himself to go inside.

“Hi” he said when he saw the girl curled up on her watching the Ravens/Steelers game. “I um, brought you some things…I didn’t think you’d be watching the game” he sat the bag of books and art supplies down beside her bed.

“Thanks, Jack” Madison spoke quietly, wary of the boy in her room. “My real dad used to take me to the bars to watch the Ravens when I was a kid…”

Jack nodded, nervously pulling on the bottom of his shirt “you don’t have to tell me, madi” Jack shook his head and sat down in the chair across from her, he grabbed her hands and looked up at her “I’m sorry about the things I said—“ “DON’T! Don’t do that!” Madison pulled her hands away from him and glared.

“I—w-what?”

Madison closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath “this is the reason I didn’t want to tell anyone. I don’t want your pity, Jack. I don’t need it, okay? I know I’m dying, okay?! I get it”

“Is it scary?”

“Dying?” Madison clarified, jack nodded his head shyly and Madison smiled “It’s different for everyone. It scared me at first when I realized what dying meant. It was scary because I was sick and every day I was being prodded by doctors and then my parents couldn’t afford my disease anymore…they gave me up and I guess by then I was old enough to understand why. I don’t blame them because they did it to save me, ya know? I can’t be saved though…e-every time it just comes back and this time is it. I can feel it and I guess I’ve accepted it up until Alex came along. I was ready, Jack. I told Nate to take me to see my real parents so I could say goodbye, I was done fighting. It doesn’t scare me to die but I’m scared to lose Alex…it’s selfish I know, but he makes me feel safe, better, normal…. “Madison confessed a hint of a smile tugged at her lips as she thought about the boy that used to annoy her endlessly.

Jack nodded, a frown etched on his face, he couldn’t even begin to imagine just lying down and accepting death at the age of seventeen.

“Are you stuck in here forever then?”

“Nah, I get out sometime today. I had a rough week and had to have some tests run. I don’t know why they bother anymore, I’m going to die all the same” Madison shrugged and Jack’s frown deepened he couldn’t stand to hear he talk about it that way.

“Are you always this cynical?”

“It’s not cynical when it’s the truth, oh sex god.” Madison smiled, using the nickname she had assigned the lanky boy when they first met in Alex’s basement. Jack halfheartedly laughed and lightly shoved the girl.

“You should come to band practice later today, Alex misses the piss out of you and if I have to eat another bite of ice cream with him I might explode. I swear he’s actually a teenage girl.” Jack quipped.
Madison smiled at the invitation and inwardly sighed in relief that her friendship with Jack seemed to still be intact and that he wasn’t going to take Alex from her just yet.

“you guys are going to be really big someday…I know I won’t be here to see it but wherever I am, I’ll be really proud, ya know?” Madi pulled at the skin around her fingernails nervously. She wasn’t really good at showing affection but she wanted to make sure that at least once she had told someone that they had made her proud, even if she couldn’t return the favor. Jack pulled her into his chest and delicately squeezed her in return while trying his best to not let his emotions show through too much. True, he didn’t actually know Madison very well but he felt guilty for all of the times he had just written her off before. The times when he wouldn’t let Alex sit with her at lunch because it would tarnish the bands “good rep” if they started hanging out with the weird loners, and the time that he basically persuaded Alex that Madison was psychotic because he heard her mom talk about her weekly doctor’s visit.

Jack almost wished that she had been a little crazy because that would surely beat dying. He just wished he could rewind life a little bit and go back to the start of high school where he would have followed Alex to that table and sit with her. He wished that he could go back and give her years of friendship and normalcy and he wished he could have seen her really live, but it was too late for that now. Jack pulled away at the sound of the door opening and looked up to see a male doctor entering the room.

The doctor looked down at his clipboard and signed a form before handing it to Madison.

“Well Miss Madison, it looks like your stay is over. You need to make sure to stay extra hydrated, you understand?” Madison nodded her head and waited for the rest because there was always more “alright, now it seems like your white blood cell count was down a little from the last time you were here so that’s obviously not good. If you start to feel weak and feverish please let someone bring you in next time, okay? We don’t want a repeat of this. I’m prescribing you with a new medication that should help stimulate the production of more blood cells. You need to get this filled today, any questions?”

Madi shook her head, she never had questions anymore. It was always the same, something else was wrong, a new pill was prescribed, and it was the cycle of life for her. She could become a drug dealer with the amount of pills she had stowed away in her house.

“C’ya next month, then?” Madi jokingly asked the blush heating up her cheeks when both her doctor and Jack scowled her.

“Sorry…” Madi shrugged, looking at Jack. She couldn’t care less if she over stepped a boundary with the doctor but she didn’t want Jack to be mad at her again. It was odd because they were hardly even friends to begin with but Jack felt a lot like Nate to her, like another brother, except maybe a little more annoying. Jack smiled even though he hated that Madi was so nonchalant with dying. He grabbed her hand and helped her stand up before grabbing her belongings and leading her out of the hospital.

“Ummm Alex is picking me up” Jack rubbed the back of his neck unsurely.

“Oh…ummm…that’s okay. I can wait for my mom” Madi shrugged.

“Madi….”
“I’ll tell him, Jack. J-just not yet, okay?”

“It’s going to be worse the longer you wait” Jack pointed out

“I know. I’m just….just give me some time, I promise I’ll tell him. Kay?” Madison pleaded. She knew she was eventually going to have to tell Alex. She also knew that if she didn’t then Jack surely would and she definitely didn’t want that to happen but she just wasn’t ready to have that fight with Alex yet, not after just getting out of the hospital, certainly not after she had just kissed them the last time she saw him.

“okay, see you at practice” Jack sighed giving up this argument for the sake of keeping the peace between them. Madison nodded before wrapping her arms around his waist and hugging him tightly.

“See ya” she stepped back from his body and watched as he ran off into the parking lot to find Alex.

Notes

So, i've had more time to update than I thought I would...also, if you guys haven't checked out the band Myself and I...then you are missing out on some seriously great music.
<3 Katy