Please don't make me love you again
Don't expect me to be so forgiving. I'm not that much of a pushover
I woke up the next morning next to Alex and I smiled as I remembered what happened last night. I was Alex Gaskarth's girlfriend again. Alex came to New York and saved me. I love him so much for that. I got up and went to the bathroom. I still had my make up on from yesterday so I washed it off to reveal the big black eye that my Dad gave me. I sighed and touched it gently. Needless to say it hurt. Then I locked the door and slid my pyjama bottoms off to reveal the bloodstained bandage on my thigh. I unwrapped it and saw the large amount of cuts that I did to myself. A tear slid down my cheek at how much of an idiot I am.
“Lauren, are you in there?” Alex asked, knocking on the bathroom door.
“Yeah, I'll be out in a minute” I said, wrapping the bandage back around my leg and putting my trousers back on. I walked out of the bathroom and went downstairs to find Alex sat in the kitchen.
“Oh my god what happened to your eye?” He asked.
“2 days ago, Mum and Dad came back. I punched Dad, Dad punched me. I fought him. And I fought Mum.” I said.
“Oh, does that mean they're not coming back?” He asked.
“No, they'll be back” I said.
“I'll be there next time and I'll help” Alex replied.
“No you will not. He turned on Jay and Max, and I certainly will not have him turn on you” I said.
“But I want to help” He replied.
“No, Alex! Do you really think that you can just, just turn up and be there? I've struggled with stuff like this before. And every time, I dealt with it on my own. I don't need your help Alex, I coped without you for 7 years. If anything, I'm an idiot for letting you back into my life without a second thought” I said, I was surprised at my sudden outburst. But it needed to be said.
“Lauren, I thought, I thought you forgave me?” He said, walking over to me. I took a step back away from him.
“I think you need to leave Alex” I said, avoiding eye contact with him.
“Please Lauren, I can't loose you again.” He begged.
“Leave, Alex” I said. He walked to the front door.
“I'm sorry Lauren. I love you” He was crying. I hated myself, but I needed time to rethink my decision of letting him back into my life. I sat down at the table and started crying. I pulled out my phone and called Jay.
“Hello”
“Jay can you come round? Just you” I said.
“Yeah I'll be right over” He said and hung up. He was here les than 5 minutes later.
“What happened Lauren?” Jay asked.
“I told him to leave” I replied.
“Why?”
“It's going to fast. I agreed to be his girlfriend, but I'm scared Jay” I said.
“Lauren, sometimes you have to face your fears head on. Alex is good for you. He loves you and you love him. You need to get him back.” He replied.
“Jay, I can't just go after him. He'll think I'm some sort of idiot who can't make up her mind. I want him back but I can't go after him” I replied.
“So let me do it” Jay replied.
“Wh- what?” I asked.
“Give me his number and I'll do it” He replied. I gave Jay his number and he called Alex and put it on speaker.
“Who's this” Alex said through the phone.
“It's Jay. Lauren's cousin.” Jay replied.
“What do you want?”
“Well I'm with Lauren now and she's confused. She loves you Alex but she doesn't know what to do”
“I love her too. I want to be hers, she means the world to me and I want her to trust me again” Alex replied.
“I suggest you come back Alex. Because right now she needs you a lot more than she needs me” Jay said. I looked up at him and shook my head. He covered the microphone.
“You need to do this Lauren” He whispered to me.
“I'm on my way” Alex said and hung up.
“Jay why did you do that?” I asked.
“You'll thank me for it later” He said and left, so I was sat there for another 10 minutes waiting for Alex. He let himself in and came straight to the kitchen where I was sat. I looked up at him and he smiled his famous Gaskarth smile and I smiled back.
“Lauren, I know it wont happen over night but I want to help you trust me again” Alex said.
“Alex” I said as I stood up and walked over to him.
“Yeah?”
“If I ever shout at you again, just kiss me” I said. He smiled and kissed me.
“I'm glad you're back” I said when I pulled away.
“Me too.” He kissed me again. I swear, every time he kisses me, it feels like the first time again.
“So what do you wanna do today?” I asked. He thought for a moment.
“This” He said and started kissing me. I kissed back and his lips left mine and went to my neck. I let out a moan and his lips were back on mine. I broke the kiss.
“Lets go upstairs” I said and we ran up the stairs. He pushed me down onto the bed and slipped my pyjama bottoms off and I felt him freeze. Shit. I forgot about my leg.
“What happened Lauren, and please don't lie” He said. I took the bandage off and he just stared in complete shock.
“I'm sorry” I said.
“Why Lauren?” He asked.
“Because I can't do anything right” I said.
“Yes you can. You're perfect. I love you Lauren, please don't ever do this again.” He said. I nodded and we led down and cuddled.
“Dos Jay know?” He asked.
“No” I replied.
“You should tell him.”
“I can't do that Alex. He thinks I stopped years ago. This will just make him think completely differently to me.” I said, letting a few tears fall.
“No he wont Lauren. Remember, he took you in. He's your family. He loves you and he cares about you” He said.
“I'll tell him if you're there with me.”
“Okay well I saw him stood outside on my way here and I think he's still out there” Alex said. Typical Jay. Alex went over to the window and shouted for Jay to come up. I heard him run up the stairs and he just stared at my leg.
“I thought you were over this Lauren” He said.
“I never stopped for more than a few months Jay. I'm sorry” I said and looked away from him.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
“I couldn't” I replied.
“This time Lauren, we'll all help you stop. Alex included.” He said and sat the other side of me on the bed. I hugged him.
“What a weird day this has been” I laughed. They both agreed. Later on, Jay went home and me and Alex cuddled up and watched films all day. I'm glad he's back. He's my everything.
“Lauren, are you in there?” Alex asked, knocking on the bathroom door.
“Yeah, I'll be out in a minute” I said, wrapping the bandage back around my leg and putting my trousers back on. I walked out of the bathroom and went downstairs to find Alex sat in the kitchen.
“Oh my god what happened to your eye?” He asked.
“2 days ago, Mum and Dad came back. I punched Dad, Dad punched me. I fought him. And I fought Mum.” I said.
“Oh, does that mean they're not coming back?” He asked.
“No, they'll be back” I said.
“I'll be there next time and I'll help” Alex replied.
“No you will not. He turned on Jay and Max, and I certainly will not have him turn on you” I said.
“But I want to help” He replied.
“No, Alex! Do you really think that you can just, just turn up and be there? I've struggled with stuff like this before. And every time, I dealt with it on my own. I don't need your help Alex, I coped without you for 7 years. If anything, I'm an idiot for letting you back into my life without a second thought” I said, I was surprised at my sudden outburst. But it needed to be said.
“Lauren, I thought, I thought you forgave me?” He said, walking over to me. I took a step back away from him.
“I think you need to leave Alex” I said, avoiding eye contact with him.
“Please Lauren, I can't loose you again.” He begged.
“Leave, Alex” I said. He walked to the front door.
“I'm sorry Lauren. I love you” He was crying. I hated myself, but I needed time to rethink my decision of letting him back into my life. I sat down at the table and started crying. I pulled out my phone and called Jay.
“Hello”
“Jay can you come round? Just you” I said.
“Yeah I'll be right over” He said and hung up. He was here les than 5 minutes later.
“What happened Lauren?” Jay asked.
“I told him to leave” I replied.
“Why?”
“It's going to fast. I agreed to be his girlfriend, but I'm scared Jay” I said.
“Lauren, sometimes you have to face your fears head on. Alex is good for you. He loves you and you love him. You need to get him back.” He replied.
“Jay, I can't just go after him. He'll think I'm some sort of idiot who can't make up her mind. I want him back but I can't go after him” I replied.
“So let me do it” Jay replied.
“Wh- what?” I asked.
“Give me his number and I'll do it” He replied. I gave Jay his number and he called Alex and put it on speaker.
“Who's this” Alex said through the phone.
“It's Jay. Lauren's cousin.” Jay replied.
“What do you want?”
“Well I'm with Lauren now and she's confused. She loves you Alex but she doesn't know what to do”
“I love her too. I want to be hers, she means the world to me and I want her to trust me again” Alex replied.
“I suggest you come back Alex. Because right now she needs you a lot more than she needs me” Jay said. I looked up at him and shook my head. He covered the microphone.
“You need to do this Lauren” He whispered to me.
“I'm on my way” Alex said and hung up.
“Jay why did you do that?” I asked.
“You'll thank me for it later” He said and left, so I was sat there for another 10 minutes waiting for Alex. He let himself in and came straight to the kitchen where I was sat. I looked up at him and he smiled his famous Gaskarth smile and I smiled back.
“Lauren, I know it wont happen over night but I want to help you trust me again” Alex said.
“Alex” I said as I stood up and walked over to him.
“Yeah?”
“If I ever shout at you again, just kiss me” I said. He smiled and kissed me.
“I'm glad you're back” I said when I pulled away.
“Me too.” He kissed me again. I swear, every time he kisses me, it feels like the first time again.
“So what do you wanna do today?” I asked. He thought for a moment.
“This” He said and started kissing me. I kissed back and his lips left mine and went to my neck. I let out a moan and his lips were back on mine. I broke the kiss.
“Lets go upstairs” I said and we ran up the stairs. He pushed me down onto the bed and slipped my pyjama bottoms off and I felt him freeze. Shit. I forgot about my leg.
“What happened Lauren, and please don't lie” He said. I took the bandage off and he just stared in complete shock.
“I'm sorry” I said.
“Why Lauren?” He asked.
“Because I can't do anything right” I said.
“Yes you can. You're perfect. I love you Lauren, please don't ever do this again.” He said. I nodded and we led down and cuddled.
“Dos Jay know?” He asked.
“No” I replied.
“You should tell him.”
“I can't do that Alex. He thinks I stopped years ago. This will just make him think completely differently to me.” I said, letting a few tears fall.
“No he wont Lauren. Remember, he took you in. He's your family. He loves you and he cares about you” He said.
“I'll tell him if you're there with me.”
“Okay well I saw him stood outside on my way here and I think he's still out there” Alex said. Typical Jay. Alex went over to the window and shouted for Jay to come up. I heard him run up the stairs and he just stared at my leg.
“I thought you were over this Lauren” He said.
“I never stopped for more than a few months Jay. I'm sorry” I said and looked away from him.
“Why didn't you tell me?”
“I couldn't” I replied.
“This time Lauren, we'll all help you stop. Alex included.” He said and sat the other side of me on the bed. I hugged him.
“What a weird day this has been” I laughed. They both agreed. Later on, Jay went home and me and Alex cuddled up and watched films all day. I'm glad he's back. He's my everything.
Notes
I need some feedback guys, I need to know what you do and don't like about this story before I update againComment/rate/subscribe<3
Lave you all c:
Thankyou!! I'm so glad you like it!<3
10/27/13