I was sat in the shop, working my usual Saturday shift. Nothing ever really happened, just a few people came in, asked questions about guitars that I wasn't qualified to answer, the occasional few people actually buying a guitar, the rest getting seriously pissed off because I couldn't answer their questions. My train of thought was cut off when I heard my phone ring, only 3 people ever phoned me, Jay, his girlfriend Emma or my boss. But this time, it was Jay.
“Hey Jay, what's up?” I said cheerfully.
“Just wondering if you wanna come for dinner with me, Emma and Max tonight?” He asked. Max is Jay's older brother, he's one of the kindest, funniest people I know
“Sure! Where and when?” I asked.
“The Rose Ship at 8” He said. He knew that was my favourite restaurant in town.
“I'll be there, see ya later Jay” I said.
“See ya later Lauren” He hung up and I went back to reading my magazine, when someone walked in. I looked up hoping that it would be Alex or Jack. Don't ask why I always hoped that, I mean I knew it was highly unlikely, but I'll never stop hoping. I got off my stool and walked over to the man who just entered. He was about 6ft tall with short brown hair, brown eyes and stubble. He really wasn't bad looking.
“Can I help you?” I asked sweetly. He looked down at me, well, checked me out and smiled at me.
“Yeah, how much is this guitar?” He asked, pointing to a black and electric blue acoustic.
“$127” I smiled.
“Great! I'll take it!” He said. I took it down off the wall and carried it over to the cash register.
“That'll be $127 please” I smiled at him, he handed over the cash and I put it in the register. He picked up the guitar and turned to leave, but then turned back to me, I stared at him with a puzzled look.
“How do you feel about going on a date?” He asked. I smiled. I hadn't been asked on a date since, well, since Alex.
“Hmm, it depends where we're going?” I asked playfully.
“The Rose Ship” He said confidently.
“How did you know that was my favourite restaurant?” I smirked.
“Lucky guess” He shrugged. I giggled. “So anyway, is that a yes or a no?” He asked seriously.
“Hmm, it's a yes” I smiled.
“Great, I'll pick you up here next Wednesday at 7” He said.
“Great, see you there” I smiled. I quickly scribbled something down on a piece of paper. “Here's my number” I smiled. He took it.
“I just realised, I didn't get your name” He said.
“I'm Lauren” I replied.
“What a beautiful name, I'm Dan” He smiled.
“Well, I'll see you on Wednesday Dan” I smiled. He smiled back and left. I can't believe it, I actually have a date! This really can't be happening.
I was getting ready for dinner with Jay, Max and Emma. I always loved going out for dinner with these 3, it was a laugh. I heard Jay's car beep outside, I grabbed my heels and ran out to the car. I got in the back and slipped my heels on.
“Hey Lauren” They all said in unison.
“Hey everyone!” I smiled. Sometimes, I wish that I could've lived with these 3 my whole life instead of Mum and Dad. But hey, at least I found them in the end, right? Seriously though, they know absolutely everything about me. I told them everything from Alex and I to Mum and Dad. I don't think I could go on with life it they left me.

The rest of the car ride was in silence, apart from the low hum of the engine. We pulled up outside the restaurant and sat at our usual table. Yeah, we come here a lot.
“So, anything interesting happen at work today?” Jay asked.
“Uh yeah, I got asked on a date” I said. Everyone stared at me in shock.
“Who by” Max asked me.
“His name's Dan. He bought a guitar today and asked me out” I smiled.
“Omg Lauren, we're so going shopping for a whole new outfit for you and you have to let me do your hair and make up” Emma said. She's the closest thing I have to a best friend.
“Thank you” I said. We ordered our food and talked about what happened since we all last saw each other. We split the bill and payed $30 each then went our separate ways.

It was 11pm when I got home and I wasn't tired, so I sat up and scrolled through tumblr when I saw a picture that caught my eye. It was a band called All Time Low and 2 of the members loooked so much like Alex and Jack. I searched them on YouTube and watched music videos and interviews when one particular interview caught my eye. It was labled 'Alex Gaskarth and Jack Barakat talk about first loves.' I clicked on it and watched carefully.
“So, who was your first love, Jack?” The interviewer asked.
“Her name's Lauren. She had a rough past and I took advantage of that and made a move on her when I shouldn't. She ran away from me and we didn't talk for days. But we then became friends again and I helped her with problems with her boyfriend. She left to move to New York and I still miss her every day.” He said. I cried at that. I knew he liked me but I never knew I was his first love.
“What about you, Alex?”
“It's funny, it's the same girl as Jack. I loved her and I still do. But I cheated on her, I was a dick to her and when something happened with her Dad and she came running to me, I didn't help because I was in bed with another girl. I broke her heart and I'm not proud of that. Jack helped her through it and he would've been a better boyfriend to her than I ever was. Everyday, I remind myself of what I did to the poor girl, and I hate myself more and more. Lauren, if you're watching this, I love you, please, get in contact with me. I love you. I miss you. I'm sorry.” He broke down and the video ended. I was in tears so I called Jay.
“Hey Lauren.”
“Come over please, I need help” I said in tears.
“Shit! I'll be there in 5.” And he hung up. Just like he said, he was here 5 minutes later. He let himself in and sat next to me.
“What happened, Lauren” He asked. I didn't say anything, I just showed him the video.
“Oh my gosh Lauren, I'm sorry” He said and hugged me.
“I still love him” I sobbed.
“I know you do, but do you really want to take that risk again? What I say is you go on that date with Dan, you see how that goes and if it goes great, you forget Alex for good, but if it goes bad, you get back in touch with Alex. Deal?” He asked.
“Deal. Thanks Jay, I'm so lucky to have you as a cousin” I smiled through the tears.
“I'm lucky to have you too. Anyway, I'll tell Emma that you want the shopping date changed to Monday so you don't have to wait that long. How's that?” He smiled.
“That's perfect, thank you so much Jay” I said.
“Great, now let's watch Matilda” That's what we always did when one of us was sad, we watched Matilda. He got up and put the disc in the player and he sat back down and put his arm around me. I must've fell asleep half way through because the next thing I knew, Jay was carrying me to bed.
“I'll see you soon, sleep well” He said and left. I curled up under my cover and went back to sleep. I was so looking forward to Monday. I needed some girl time.

Monday finally came around and I was so excited to have some girl time.
“Hey Lauren!” Emma shouted as she walked in to my apartment. Yeah, Jay, Emma and Max all just let themselves in now. There's no point in knocking.
“I'm in here!” I shouted from my room. I was trying to do the button on my top my I couldn't reach it. Emma laughed when she saw me struggling with it.
“Here, let me do it” She said and did the button for me.
“Thanks” I said as I slipped my shoes on.
“You ready to go” She asked.
“Yeah, let's go!” I said. We got in her car and drove off to the mall. We went in the posh dress shop and I picked out a red dress that stopped just above the knee and lace sleeves, and Emma picked out a little black dress for her date with Jay. They were honestly the cutest couple I've ever met, Jay just needs to hurry up and propose.

“So, Jay told me about the video” Emma said in the car.
“Yeah, it uh, it got to me.” I sighed.
“Jay's idea to wait until after your date really is the best you know” She said.
“Yeah, I know, but you don't understand how it feels to love someone but hate them at the same time. If he came back into my life and asked me to marry him, I wouldn't say yes, but I wouldn't say no either” I said.
“That doesn't make sense” Emma pointed out.
“That's how it feels all the time. He's the love of my life, and everyday, I just constantly wish that he'll show up out of the blue. And as for Jack, I want my old best friend back.” I said as a tear slid down my cheek.
“Hun, don't cry, you never know what the future holds. You never know, you might fall madly in love with Dan and forget all about Alex and Jack. I know you had a rough past, but your strong. Your parents and Alex just fucked your life up a bit. But if it wasn't for them, you wouldn't have met me, Jay and Max. So keep your head up, we'll love you no matter what you decide to do” She smiled at me.
“Thanks Em” I said.

We pulled up to my apartment and I got out.
“Thanks for everything Em, see you on Wednesday, love you” I said.
“Love you” She replied. I went inside and fell onto my bed and sobbed hysterically. How could I leave Alex and Jack? Why didn't I stay in touch with them?

Tuesday passed by quickly, I went to work, went home, cried again and went to bed. Nothing out of the ordinary. I was currently on my way to Jay's so Emma could do my hair and make up. I have to admit, I was excited and nervous, I mean, I'm 22 and this is only my second date. Ever.

I walked into Jay's house and I was immediately greeted by Emma asking me f I remembered my dress and shoes and make up. I nodded and she pulled me up to her room.
“Hey Jay” I said as we walked past him.
“Hey Lauren” He said. When we were in Em's room, she immediately sat me down at her dressing table and layed my make up out. She applied it all and I have to admit, she did a fucking amazing job. Then, she moved on to my hair. She spent half and hour curling it and when she was done, I didn't even recognise myself. I looked so different.
“Emma, I, I don't even recognise myself!” I said.
“You look beautiful, now put your dress on” She commanded. I undressed and pulled my dress over my head. Emma did the button for me, then I slid my heels on and walked over to the full length mirror.
“Thank you Em” I smiled at her. She smiled back.
“Come one, let's go show Jay.” She said and pulled me downstairs. Max was in the living room with Jay and they were watching sport.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, Lauren Williams.” Emma said in a posh voice. I giggled when I saw their jaws drop.
“Emma, you're beautiful” They said in unison.
“Thank you, now wish me luck!” I said as I made my way to the door.
“Good luck!” They all shouted. I made my way to the shop and he was already there when I arrived. His eyes went wide when he saw me.
“Just when thought you couldn't get more beautiful” He said as he kissed my cheek.
“Thank you” I smiled. We got in his car and drove to the restaurant. We sat down and I ordered my usual, mushroom ravioli.
“So, tell me about yourself” He said.
“Well my name's Lauren Williams, I'm 22 and I'm originally from Baltimore. I moved out here when I was 15 to live with my cousin Jay. And that's about all there is.” I said.
“Why'd you move out here, if you don't mind me asking” He asked.
“I fell out with my parents.” I lied. He just nodded, knowing I wanted to change the subject.
“So tell me about you” I smiled.
“I'm 23, I've lived in New York my whole life, and I work for the local newspaper. I do the advice column” He said.
“Impressive” I smiled.
“So what's it like working at the music shop?” He asked.
“It's, well, not much happens. I just sell guitars and read mostly” I said.
“You know, I applied for a job there about 2 years ago. I never even got an interview.” He said.
“What's your last name again?” I asked.
“Hankin” He replied.
“Oh, I remember reading your application form. I have to say, you sounded like a really cool guy and perfect for the job, but my co worker didn't think so” I said.
“Well, it looks like we were obviously meant to meet” He chuckled. Our food got here and we just made small talk. When we finished, he payed the bill, not even letting me see how much the food was and we sat and finished our drinks.
“Come on, I'll take you home” He said. We walked out and instead of walking n the direction of his car, he pulled me into a dark alley and pushed me up against the wall.
“Get off” I said, panicking. He didn't say anything, he just started kissing me. I kicked him where it hurts, ditched my heels and ran barefoot down the street. He soon caught up to me and grabbed me.
“Hey, get off her!” I heard someone shout. I faintly recognised the voice, but I couldn't put a name to it. Out of nowhere, Dan punched me and I fell back and hid my head hard against the concrete. My vision went blurry and I saw the man that shouted at Dan pull him off and kick him a few times. I couldn't see his face though. Just as I was drifting into unconsciousness, the man came over and gasp. Ugh, the fact that I couldn't see his face was really starting to frustrate me!
“Lauren” He asked in shock. How did he know my name? He was a complete stranger, wasn't he? Before I could ask him, my eyes closed and I went unconscious.

Notes

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