Anastasia's POV









Bleak darkness surrounded me. I couldn't focus on a single thing. My mind was everywhere. My body felt numb. My eyes were open wide, I couldn't blink. Before me stood the creature that made it impossible for me to take my own life, impossible to end the suffering.





"Stop trying," his thick accented voice rang menacingly in my ear, causing me to shiver involuntarily.





"Please let me go," I begged with every ounce of being still left inside of me. I just wanted all of this suffering to end. I wanted to be normal again. I wanted to be able to love someone without fear of my love killing them. I didn't want to be poisonous anymore. I wanted to know what it's like to have a love so strong it physically makes you hurt to be away from them. I just wanted to find any kind of love, as ridiculous that sounds. I craved to be close to at least one person. I'm used to the loneliness but it's slowly driving me insane.





He let out a guttural laugh, "No such luck my love." And with that I fell back into the stark brightness.























My eyes fluttered open. The pain in my arms was gone. I no longer felt the fatigue or dizziness from the blood loss. No, instead I felt something no human should ever feel in their life. Thirst. My throat clenched at the thought. I knew I wouldn't be able to last long. Before I could jump out of bed, the door opened.





In the doorway stood none other than Alex Gaskarth, his eyes wide as he saw me fully awake, a bag in his hand.





Fire shot down my throat as I saw the jugular vein pressing impossibly close to the surface of his skin. The smell of him made me clench my fists around the bed sheets around me. I looked away from his gaze, knowing all too well what he would've seen in my eyes. A monster. A ghoul. A myth.






"Uh I uh bought you some clothes to wear. Yours were covered in blood. I went off the sizes from your outfit so I hope they...hey are you okay?" his voice sounded far away. All I could hear was the blood pumping steadily in his veins. All I could see were the faint blue and green outlines on his muscular arms. I thrashed against the bed, trying to control the demon within me.





Before he could question me further I managed to speak between clenched teeth, "Get out Alex." When he didn't move I growled, "Get out now Alex." Without hesitation he dropped the bag and bolted out of the door. I shot up with impossible speed to retrieve the bag. I quickly got dressed, still trying to keep my composure. Once I was dressed I sprinted down the stairs into the waiting room. The thirst was becoming worse and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold off the monster much longer. Before I could step out of the building I heard a familiar voice call out my name in confusion.





"Anastasia please stop. You've gotta stay here to make sure you're okay," Alex pleaded softly as he grabbed my wrist tightly. The contact lurched me into a frenzy. I needed to get out of there as soon as I could. Before I could rip him to shreds or cause the whole waiting room to turn into a huge massacre I bolted through the doors, my body disappearing in a blur.





Trees whizzed past me. I wove in and out of oncoming traffic, dodging cars that didn’t see me coming. My veins blazed like a beastly burning inferno. My mind began to haze, my rationality was becoming vague. I could feel the initiative power coursing through my body slowly begin to deteriorate. The trees became much clearer, luminous. I could see every outline of every leaf. The perennial grass swayed gently across my almost bare feet since I was only wearing small flats.





I found a small clearing where I knew no one would be wandering around. There were tears in the flowy shirt Alex got me. The jeans were also cut in certain parts but that was the least of my worries. My senses were heightened again. Everything around me came into extreme detail and I hated it. Usually I could get away with pretending I couldn't see the veins of a fly's wings, the pores of the skin of humans, their veins jutting out from beneath them. The more detail I saw the weaker I got. I crouched down on the floor, knowing full well what was going to happen next. I hear the familiar rushing coming from beside me, sounding close enough for me to catch, without a second thought my body pushed forward towards the thing to satisfy my thirst.


























After I was finished I knew that I couldn't go back and find Alex. He probably thought I was nothing but a monster. I pulled out the phone I hastily shoved in my front pocket to see I had a few missed calls from an unknown number. Curiosity got the best of me and I dialed the number.





On the second ring a throaty voice picked up, "Anastasia?!"






I slapped my face slightly before speaking in a small voice, "Hi Alex." I didn't know what else to say. I couldn't even begin to explain myself.






"Ana," his soothing voice sighed in relief. "Where are you? Are you okay?"





Thankful he didn't hound me with questions I replied a little louder, "Yeah I'm fine. I just...I hate hospitals a lot and I couldn't handle being there. I uh I really don't know where I'm at." I looked around me, there were trees but I couldn't really see their details nor could I feel the blades of the grass brushing gently on my ankle skin. I could be anywhere really.





"Okay well look around and tell me what you see," Alex said in a concerned voice.





I walked a little bit more until I came across a pretty populated park. I gave him the name and he said he'd be there soon. Apparently I didn't go as far as I thought. I walked towards some abandoned swings and sat in one of them, playing with the dirt that surrounded it with my feet. I pulled out my phone again to take in my reflection. My eyes were blue again, but brighter than ever. I sighed. They always turned electric blue after I fed. People always thought they were contacts, I would go along with it. I hoped Alex wouldn't notice. I hoped he didn't ask questions like everyone else did.







Without a second thought I shot Alex a text.





Hey so my mom picked me up. You don't need to come anymore.






I knew I couldn't face him again. I couldn't face him after he saw me so close to the demon inside of me. Lastly I couldn't face Jack again. He left me hanging after the show, after I was sure he was into me. Stupid. How could a guy like him ever like a girl like me? I was nothing but a fuck freak. My phone buzzed, Alex was calling again.





"Hello?" I answered.





"Hey Ana, Jack said you got picked up already? Sorry I didn't text back, I'm driving."





I swallowed the lump in my throat, this had to be done. "Y—yeah I'm almost home. Sorry for making you drive. I gotta go now." I heard him start to say something but I hung up before he could say it. This is what I did best; push people away and out of my life. No one deserved to deal with who I really was. I stood up and began walking towards where I knew my house was which wasn't far off. I knew I was in major trouble but I didn't care. I let myself walk at a normal pace, thinking about the events that transpired.






























Tears sprung from my eyes the whole way home, just thinking about the first and last time I let someone get close to me.

Notes

So yeah this took longer to write than expected .-.

Can you guys guess what's Ana's secret now? Haha.

I love you guys and I'm sorry this is taking forever to get going /.\

Btw, gonna be starting either my Zack or Rian one once I'm done with my Alex one. But idk which to start first sooooooo....comment below yeah?

<3