This Love Was Accidental
Chapter 37
*three weeks later*
P.O.V Jack
Alex and I stayed there cuddling on his floor, with me sobbing for a long time. Alex knew there was nothing he could have said or did that would make me feel better so he just cuddled me as I cried. That was a 3 weeks ago now.
Two days after getting the news I flew out to Lebanon, without Alex although he offered to come. I spent every day of the first week in hospital with my mum; she was so pale and fragile. Her skin was white as a sheet and she had lost a lot of weight. She looked dead already. The doctors were sure it was cancer and there was absolutely nothing they could do but keep her comfortable.
At the end of that first week, she passed away. Everyone in the family was there, all of us holding hands and grieving together. She was at peace now, she was in no more pain and for that I was glad but why did she have to die? She was still so young and had years left, she didn’t even know that I was getting married, I never had the chance to tell her and now she couldn’t even be at the wedding.
Half way through my second week here, was her funeral. It was small friends and family only funeral. My mother never wanted a big funeral. The church looked beautiful, it was small but it had flowers everywhere it was just what she would have wanted. The service went quickly, I cried throughout the whole thing and clung on to my dad and May for support. We all cried together and before we knew it the service was over and everything was done.
My last few days in Lebanon were spent with my family over there. I helped my dad sort out all my mother’s stuff and get used to living on his own. I hadn’t spoken to Alex the whole two weeks I was away and if I’m honest I really didn’t want to go back home. I still wasn’t handling the fact she was dead and that would only get worse when I was at home without my family. I had to go home though, Alex was my fiancé and he would be worried sick about me.
I’m home now and I was right it is worse without my family. I have no one to cry to, well I have Alex but he can’t see me be so weak. I don’t want him to so broken, it would break his heart. I was going to deal with this myself. I ran to my kitchen and rummaged around my cupboards until I found what I needed, liquor.
P.O.V Alex
I haven’t seen or heard from Jack in 3 weeks. Two of these weeks he was in Lebanon so it’s understandable why I didn’t see him or hear from him but he has been home for a week now and I still haven’t seen him or spoke to him. He hasn't even been at work, meaning I spend my periods in music worrying about him.For the first few days I thought he might just want some time to himself to process everything so I didn’t text or call him but after a few days I got really worried and I have been texting and calling him since, he hasn’t answered any of my texts or phone calls.
It was only today that I decided enough was enough and that I needed to go round to his house and check on him. What if something horrible had happened to him, I would never forgive myself for not checking sooner if something had. Jack’s apartment was just a short drive from my own house so it didn’t take me long at all to get there, plus I was speeding. I needed to know he was okay.
I arrived at his apartment as knocked sharply on his door, all the blinds to his apartment were shut so I couldn’t even see inside. He didn’t answer. I knocked once more again getting no answer. I decided that I would just try and see if the door was unlocked, it was. I slowly opened the door calling out Jack’s name so that I wouldn’t scare him if he hadn’t heard me knocking or heard me entering his apartment. A horrible smell hit my nose the minute I walked inside, It smelled like liquor. I made my way further in his apartment and looked to see if he was in the living room. The living room was littered with loads of bottles of vodka and whiskey, they were everywhere. Some were empty and others were lying on their side spilling their remaining contents all over the carpet. It was awful. Jack looked far worse though, he was slumped against the couch pale as snow, his hair was a mess and his eyes had horrendous black bags under them. He looked like he had lost a lot of weight, his jeans hung loosely from his legs and so did his top. He looked absolutely broken. Instantly I ran over to him, shaking his shoulder lightly to check he was still alive. Slowly his bloodshot eyes fluttered open and closed again. The sight of him like this broke my heart and I tried again to wake him gently stroking his face.
‘Jack, wake up baby. It’s Alex’, I whispered to him as his eyes fluttered open again. He looked straight into mine and tears started to pool in his eyes.
‘Lex, I hurt’, he said in a raspy whisper as the tears started to pour down his face. I did the only thing I thought of and pulled him into a tight hug letting him cry into my chest. He smelled of liquor and like he hadn’t showered in a while. Suddenly Jack pulled away from me and shoved me back just as he was violently sick all over the floor. Once had finished he slumped back against the couch, sobbing and curling up hiding his face from me. Slowly I crawled up next to him and put my arms round his shoulders.
‘Come on Jack, let’s go get you cleaned up’, I whispered to him as I hooked my arm under his legs and put one around his back. Slowly I stood up, cradling him in my arms and walked towards his bathroom. He was so light that carrying him was easy. With Jack still in my arms, I managed to begin running a bath. Slowly I set Jack down on his feet, he leaned on to me for support his eyes fluttering shut again.
‘No baby, you need to stay awake’, I whispered. He just grumbled in response. Once his bath was run, I turned the water off and began to peel Jack’s clothes from his body leaving them a heap on the floor behind me. Carefully I picked Jack up and lifted his body into the warm water, letting it soak his pale skin. Jack was asleep again and this time I left him to sleep. Carefully I began to wet his hair and wash it. My next task was to wash his body, running my soapy hands along his body I could feel almost all of his bones. He really was thin, he was practically a skeleton. I gently got a washcloth and began to wipe his tear stained face, he was still so beautiful to me. Tears fell from my eyes as I looked at my broken fiance. Why wouldn’t he tell me he was this upset? I would have helped him. In a way I blamed myself for this, if only I had checked on him the day he got home. I was finished washing him now and I gently lifted his sleeping body from the bath soaking my clothes and the floor as I did so. I grabbed a towel from the rack and sat down on the floor with jack in my arms drying his body off, he was out for the count snoring gently in my arms. I pulled Jack close to my chest and held him there; I never wanted to let him go again. I had to though I needed to clean the mess in his living room. Slowly I stood up with his tiny naked body in my arms and walked through to his bedroom. I peeled back the covers on his bed and placed him under them, tucking him in before placing a kiss on his damp hair and leaving to tidy the mess in the living room.
I still wasn’t sure why Jack wouldn’t have told me things were this bad, but I knew that from now on I was going to be there for him to make it better.
P.O.V Jack
Alex and I stayed there cuddling on his floor, with me sobbing for a long time. Alex knew there was nothing he could have said or did that would make me feel better so he just cuddled me as I cried. That was a 3 weeks ago now.
Two days after getting the news I flew out to Lebanon, without Alex although he offered to come. I spent every day of the first week in hospital with my mum; she was so pale and fragile. Her skin was white as a sheet and she had lost a lot of weight. She looked dead already. The doctors were sure it was cancer and there was absolutely nothing they could do but keep her comfortable.
At the end of that first week, she passed away. Everyone in the family was there, all of us holding hands and grieving together. She was at peace now, she was in no more pain and for that I was glad but why did she have to die? She was still so young and had years left, she didn’t even know that I was getting married, I never had the chance to tell her and now she couldn’t even be at the wedding.
Half way through my second week here, was her funeral. It was small friends and family only funeral. My mother never wanted a big funeral. The church looked beautiful, it was small but it had flowers everywhere it was just what she would have wanted. The service went quickly, I cried throughout the whole thing and clung on to my dad and May for support. We all cried together and before we knew it the service was over and everything was done.
My last few days in Lebanon were spent with my family over there. I helped my dad sort out all my mother’s stuff and get used to living on his own. I hadn’t spoken to Alex the whole two weeks I was away and if I’m honest I really didn’t want to go back home. I still wasn’t handling the fact she was dead and that would only get worse when I was at home without my family. I had to go home though, Alex was my fiancé and he would be worried sick about me.
I’m home now and I was right it is worse without my family. I have no one to cry to, well I have Alex but he can’t see me be so weak. I don’t want him to so broken, it would break his heart. I was going to deal with this myself. I ran to my kitchen and rummaged around my cupboards until I found what I needed, liquor.
P.O.V Alex
I haven’t seen or heard from Jack in 3 weeks. Two of these weeks he was in Lebanon so it’s understandable why I didn’t see him or hear from him but he has been home for a week now and I still haven’t seen him or spoke to him. He hasn't even been at work, meaning I spend my periods in music worrying about him.For the first few days I thought he might just want some time to himself to process everything so I didn’t text or call him but after a few days I got really worried and I have been texting and calling him since, he hasn’t answered any of my texts or phone calls.
It was only today that I decided enough was enough and that I needed to go round to his house and check on him. What if something horrible had happened to him, I would never forgive myself for not checking sooner if something had. Jack’s apartment was just a short drive from my own house so it didn’t take me long at all to get there, plus I was speeding. I needed to know he was okay.
I arrived at his apartment as knocked sharply on his door, all the blinds to his apartment were shut so I couldn’t even see inside. He didn’t answer. I knocked once more again getting no answer. I decided that I would just try and see if the door was unlocked, it was. I slowly opened the door calling out Jack’s name so that I wouldn’t scare him if he hadn’t heard me knocking or heard me entering his apartment. A horrible smell hit my nose the minute I walked inside, It smelled like liquor. I made my way further in his apartment and looked to see if he was in the living room. The living room was littered with loads of bottles of vodka and whiskey, they were everywhere. Some were empty and others were lying on their side spilling their remaining contents all over the carpet. It was awful. Jack looked far worse though, he was slumped against the couch pale as snow, his hair was a mess and his eyes had horrendous black bags under them. He looked like he had lost a lot of weight, his jeans hung loosely from his legs and so did his top. He looked absolutely broken. Instantly I ran over to him, shaking his shoulder lightly to check he was still alive. Slowly his bloodshot eyes fluttered open and closed again. The sight of him like this broke my heart and I tried again to wake him gently stroking his face.
‘Jack, wake up baby. It’s Alex’, I whispered to him as his eyes fluttered open again. He looked straight into mine and tears started to pool in his eyes.
‘Lex, I hurt’, he said in a raspy whisper as the tears started to pour down his face. I did the only thing I thought of and pulled him into a tight hug letting him cry into my chest. He smelled of liquor and like he hadn’t showered in a while. Suddenly Jack pulled away from me and shoved me back just as he was violently sick all over the floor. Once had finished he slumped back against the couch, sobbing and curling up hiding his face from me. Slowly I crawled up next to him and put my arms round his shoulders.
‘Come on Jack, let’s go get you cleaned up’, I whispered to him as I hooked my arm under his legs and put one around his back. Slowly I stood up, cradling him in my arms and walked towards his bathroom. He was so light that carrying him was easy. With Jack still in my arms, I managed to begin running a bath. Slowly I set Jack down on his feet, he leaned on to me for support his eyes fluttering shut again.
‘No baby, you need to stay awake’, I whispered. He just grumbled in response. Once his bath was run, I turned the water off and began to peel Jack’s clothes from his body leaving them a heap on the floor behind me. Carefully I picked Jack up and lifted his body into the warm water, letting it soak his pale skin. Jack was asleep again and this time I left him to sleep. Carefully I began to wet his hair and wash it. My next task was to wash his body, running my soapy hands along his body I could feel almost all of his bones. He really was thin, he was practically a skeleton. I gently got a washcloth and began to wipe his tear stained face, he was still so beautiful to me. Tears fell from my eyes as I looked at my broken fiance. Why wouldn’t he tell me he was this upset? I would have helped him. In a way I blamed myself for this, if only I had checked on him the day he got home. I was finished washing him now and I gently lifted his sleeping body from the bath soaking my clothes and the floor as I did so. I grabbed a towel from the rack and sat down on the floor with jack in my arms drying his body off, he was out for the count snoring gently in my arms. I pulled Jack close to my chest and held him there; I never wanted to let him go again. I had to though I needed to clean the mess in his living room. Slowly I stood up with his tiny naked body in my arms and walked through to his bedroom. I peeled back the covers on his bed and placed him under them, tucking him in before placing a kiss on his damp hair and leaving to tidy the mess in the living room.
I still wasn’t sure why Jack wouldn’t have told me things were this bad, but I knew that from now on I was going to be there for him to make it better.
Notes
I think this is like the longest update the story has ever seen, idek why its so long but enjoy!love everyone who reads! xo
10/31/13