Dear Veronica Count Me In
Not A House, Not A Home
It was the dead of the night and the house was hauntingly silent
The darkness enveloped the living room and it gave of eerie vibes, yet I sat down in the couch waiting in vain for my mom to herald her some unfortunate news
Earlier this morning, I went to check the mailbox if there were unopened letters. There were a lot of flyers cramped in the mailbox which started to earn cobwebs itself, but when I took them all out. There was one crumpled up in a corner and it seems this was weeks old already
I wonder what it said….but I had a dread feeling that I shouldn’t open it
But how will I know, if I never try?
Tearing the seam and upon opening the letter; I knew my intuition was right. It was the worst of all letters; one of my most feared nightmares.
Our house mortgage got broken recently bank and they are now demanding us to pay our $45,000 worth of debt
How will we ever cope with this large of a debt and with my mom’s unstable job and….
I sank down to the floor and started to mope, another burden has been placed against my shoulders. And I can’t seem to take the weight anymore
I have to tell her as soon as possible
“No one’s fucking firing me, bastard!” My mom came and slammed the door. She looked in between pissed or just a complete lunatic, swinging a bottle of whiskey
What? She got fired again in that small printing press?? This was her 34th career
I wonder what she did this time to get her boss so furious
She kicked her shoes off and sat down in the sofa in a stupor, not even acknowledging my very presence. Helen continued to let herself be intoxicated, reeking of liquor and cigarette remains.
This was all too typical
“Son of a bitch says I lost my job. And he’s had enough of the pain-in-the- ass twat I am” muttering to herself
“Ha ha ha, the silliest joke I’ve ever heard”
That’s when out of nowhere, my mother threw the bottle to the floor until it shattered into a hazardous trail of broken and fragile glass…
I was terrified
She was lost in her twisted little fate, and slowly becoming into a monster
I didn’t want to bring her more bad news and God forbid what she'll do to me
Due to the current situation
Trembling in fear, I silently mumbled
“I.I...have …something”
“What of it?!”
My lips were sealed shut as if they were sewed, like it telling me to shut up before-
“SPEAK! YOU RUBBISH CHILD”
I handed the letter to her and tried to keep my composure even though I was near to tears and my chin was quivering
“Dear Mrs. Di Angelo,
Due to 5 months late of unpaid debt, with an approximate amount of $45,000, our company will blah blah blah boring shit”
She examined it so keenly, only to know afterwards, the significant document, was torn into a thousand of pieces.
And thrown all into the air.
“Who cares about this mortgage and debt anyway? Let’s just be broke and live life to the best!” My mother insanely exclaimed
“What the actual fuck, mom!”
“For years and years, we have to undergo all these ordeals and challenges, debt by debt; job by another job. Plus a lot of people hold grudges against us; they call me the poor scholar girl or daughter of a worthless whore. I suffer these because you had to be the irresponsible and I-don’t-give-a-shit grown up woman in this house. Ending up, I always have to be the adult and fix every problem we encounter. And you are being right now!”
A sound that seemed to be lightning crackled came across the whole room
Then only realizing that I was down on the floor
Cheeks blood red and stinging with traces of a harsh slap that was given by my drunken mother
The tension was so rigid and uncanny
She gritted her teeth in anger,
“Don’t you dare take to your mother like that!”
“WELL I WISH YOU WEREN'T MY MOTHER!” hissing viciously at her
“I wish that I didn't live here”
“I wish all my hurt and pain could go away. My soul is already damaged “
“I wish dad hadn’t left, but maybe he did because he got a better and less vile woman than you”
“I wish Mark didn’t die. He died since he thought rebelling was his only escape from you and this damned home. That’s why he never came back and got himself killed. BECAUSE YOU KILLED HIM BY BLAMING ALL YOUR MISTAKES ON MY BROTHER, HAUNTING HIM WITH LIES AND CRUEL WORDS IN HIS HEAD!”
I managed to state everything I was feeling deep inside, with all the courage and force I could muster
“Reality check”
“Wishes are only for fools. They don’t come true” she bitterly spat out
“YOU’RE RUINING MY LIFE!”
I headed out to the stairs and entered the room, shutting the door completely
I tried to play some songs in the piano, even sketch in my notebook
But none could make me release my rage and take away my misery. Which ended up with me screaming for help but nobody would answer and sobbing, pillow soaked with tears.
This was not a home.
This was just a wretched and broken house
And the people here are not a family.
They are just cursed strangers living in this place for them to be tortured
I am entirely hopeless.
I want this nightmare to end.
The darkness enveloped the living room and it gave of eerie vibes, yet I sat down in the couch waiting in vain for my mom to herald her some unfortunate news
Earlier this morning, I went to check the mailbox if there were unopened letters. There were a lot of flyers cramped in the mailbox which started to earn cobwebs itself, but when I took them all out. There was one crumpled up in a corner and it seems this was weeks old already
I wonder what it said….but I had a dread feeling that I shouldn’t open it
But how will I know, if I never try?
Tearing the seam and upon opening the letter; I knew my intuition was right. It was the worst of all letters; one of my most feared nightmares.
Our house mortgage got broken recently bank and they are now demanding us to pay our $45,000 worth of debt
How will we ever cope with this large of a debt and with my mom’s unstable job and….
I sank down to the floor and started to mope, another burden has been placed against my shoulders. And I can’t seem to take the weight anymore
I have to tell her as soon as possible
“No one’s fucking firing me, bastard!” My mom came and slammed the door. She looked in between pissed or just a complete lunatic, swinging a bottle of whiskey
What? She got fired again in that small printing press?? This was her 34th career
I wonder what she did this time to get her boss so furious
She kicked her shoes off and sat down in the sofa in a stupor, not even acknowledging my very presence. Helen continued to let herself be intoxicated, reeking of liquor and cigarette remains.
This was all too typical
“Son of a bitch says I lost my job. And he’s had enough of the pain-in-the- ass twat I am” muttering to herself
“Ha ha ha, the silliest joke I’ve ever heard”
That’s when out of nowhere, my mother threw the bottle to the floor until it shattered into a hazardous trail of broken and fragile glass…
I was terrified
She was lost in her twisted little fate, and slowly becoming into a monster
I didn’t want to bring her more bad news and God forbid what she'll do to me
Due to the current situation
Trembling in fear, I silently mumbled
“I.I...have …something”
“What of it?!”
My lips were sealed shut as if they were sewed, like it telling me to shut up before-
“SPEAK! YOU RUBBISH CHILD”
I handed the letter to her and tried to keep my composure even though I was near to tears and my chin was quivering
“Dear Mrs. Di Angelo,
Due to 5 months late of unpaid debt, with an approximate amount of $45,000, our company will blah blah blah boring shit”
She examined it so keenly, only to know afterwards, the significant document, was torn into a thousand of pieces.
And thrown all into the air.
“Who cares about this mortgage and debt anyway? Let’s just be broke and live life to the best!” My mother insanely exclaimed
“What the actual fuck, mom!”
“For years and years, we have to undergo all these ordeals and challenges, debt by debt; job by another job. Plus a lot of people hold grudges against us; they call me the poor scholar girl or daughter of a worthless whore. I suffer these because you had to be the irresponsible and I-don’t-give-a-shit grown up woman in this house. Ending up, I always have to be the adult and fix every problem we encounter. And you are being right now!”
A sound that seemed to be lightning crackled came across the whole room
Then only realizing that I was down on the floor
Cheeks blood red and stinging with traces of a harsh slap that was given by my drunken mother
The tension was so rigid and uncanny
She gritted her teeth in anger,
“Don’t you dare take to your mother like that!”
“WELL I WISH YOU WEREN'T MY MOTHER!” hissing viciously at her
“I wish that I didn't live here”
“I wish all my hurt and pain could go away. My soul is already damaged “
“I wish dad hadn’t left, but maybe he did because he got a better and less vile woman than you”
“I wish Mark didn’t die. He died since he thought rebelling was his only escape from you and this damned home. That’s why he never came back and got himself killed. BECAUSE YOU KILLED HIM BY BLAMING ALL YOUR MISTAKES ON MY BROTHER, HAUNTING HIM WITH LIES AND CRUEL WORDS IN HIS HEAD!”
I managed to state everything I was feeling deep inside, with all the courage and force I could muster
“Reality check”
“Wishes are only for fools. They don’t come true” she bitterly spat out
“YOU’RE RUINING MY LIFE!”
I headed out to the stairs and entered the room, shutting the door completely
I tried to play some songs in the piano, even sketch in my notebook
But none could make me release my rage and take away my misery. Which ended up with me screaming for help but nobody would answer and sobbing, pillow soaked with tears.
This was not a home.
This was just a wretched and broken house
And the people here are not a family.
They are just cursed strangers living in this place for them to be tortured
I am entirely hopeless.
I want this nightmare to end.
Notes
After one month or so ( i don't know? i was out for that too long :D) I managed to write chapter 9. Which I hope hasn't disturbed or didn't meet your expectations that much. Don't worry, about Veronica :) her mother is really just the irritating bitch she is. And I promise the next chapters have good things in store for her (with alex and the gang! :D of course) I'm half with chapter 10 so the wait will no longer be and keep reading Dear Veronica Count Me In Till the end!Much love and thanks :)
I peace out
-Cait
11/17/13