Find a Place for Me Again
Twenty-Two
Kenzie was sound asleep in her recovery room. We've been here for a week. They won't release Kenzie yet since they fear she could have something happen to her in the first month after giving birth prematurely. It was when she slept I went to see Peter in the NICU. He was so tiny, so fragile. My heart ached for him. My little man was vulnerable and I didn't want to lose him.
I sat down in the chair next to his incubator, smiling at how much he looked like me and Kenzie. I put on a pair of gloves the nurse working the night shift in the ward gave me and reached inside to touch my little boy.
"Hey Peter, it's your daddy," I spoke softly to him, "I want you to get nice and strong for me and Mommy. We love you very much and you mean a lot to us."
I rubbed his little cheek with my index finger. I felt my anxiety centering on him. I was afraid that he'd always be weak. I was afraid he'd always be small. I was afraid he'd never be able to come home. I was afraid to lose him.
"How is he," Kenzie asked as I walked back into her room as she started to wake up.
"He's doing well. He looks so much like us," I told her as I took a seat in the chair next to her bed.
"I'm worried about him. I want to go see him, but I'm not allowed out of my bed for long periods of time," Kenzie sighed heavily. I knew she wanted to see her son and touch him at least once.
"I'll talk to your nurse about letting you go to see him in a wheelchair. You deserve to see our son," I told her as I stroked her hair.
Kenzie was still beautiful even though she didn't look like it to others. Her hair had a dull shine to it, her skin was almost as white as her sheets, her eyes had little life in them, but shined when I was with her or I told her about Peter. Her skin was rough and dry, her lips were pale pink and cracked from chapping. The hospital stay was sucking the life from her, but she was the love of my life and she was beautiful in my eyes.
"I need to get out of this room and go outside. There's a garden for patients to go in. I would love to spend some time outside and get fresh air," Kenzie replied.
"I'll talk to your nurse if I can take you to see Peter and then we can have lunch out in the garden," I told her.
"I'd like that Alex," she smiled at me softly, making my heart flutter like the wings of a butterfly; Kenzie has a way of always making me fall in love with her again and again with her smile.
"He looks better than when he was born," Kenzie commented as we ate our lunch in the garden.
"Yeah he does. Hopefully he'll be out of the hospital in a month or two," I told her.
"Why can't he just be perfect and come home with me," Kenzie asked, fighting her tears.
"Peter has to grow more. He was born when he wasn't fully developed. Peter will come home when he's ready. We just have to come back everyday to see him, Kenzie," I told her as I wiped her tears away.
"I know, but I just wish I did have him so soon. I feel like I failed him, like my body rejected him so he couldn't finish growing," she sniffled.
"You didn't fail him, Kenzie. He was too excited to meet us to wait anymore. He's the best birthday present I have ever gotten. I'm a lucky father to share my birthday with my son," I told her.
"Talk about a birthday surprise when your fiancee gives birth to your baby 14 weeks early," Kenzie chuckled, "I'm glad you still had a good birthday."
"Let's get you back to your room, okay. Then we can plan out a homecoming party for when Peter can come home. That way our friends and family can help us get all the little things we'll need for him," I kissed her before I threw away our trash from our lunch before taking her back to her room.
I sat down in the chair next to his incubator, smiling at how much he looked like me and Kenzie. I put on a pair of gloves the nurse working the night shift in the ward gave me and reached inside to touch my little boy.
"Hey Peter, it's your daddy," I spoke softly to him, "I want you to get nice and strong for me and Mommy. We love you very much and you mean a lot to us."
I rubbed his little cheek with my index finger. I felt my anxiety centering on him. I was afraid that he'd always be weak. I was afraid he'd always be small. I was afraid he'd never be able to come home. I was afraid to lose him.
"How is he," Kenzie asked as I walked back into her room as she started to wake up.
"He's doing well. He looks so much like us," I told her as I took a seat in the chair next to her bed.
"I'm worried about him. I want to go see him, but I'm not allowed out of my bed for long periods of time," Kenzie sighed heavily. I knew she wanted to see her son and touch him at least once.
"I'll talk to your nurse about letting you go to see him in a wheelchair. You deserve to see our son," I told her as I stroked her hair.
Kenzie was still beautiful even though she didn't look like it to others. Her hair had a dull shine to it, her skin was almost as white as her sheets, her eyes had little life in them, but shined when I was with her or I told her about Peter. Her skin was rough and dry, her lips were pale pink and cracked from chapping. The hospital stay was sucking the life from her, but she was the love of my life and she was beautiful in my eyes.
"I need to get out of this room and go outside. There's a garden for patients to go in. I would love to spend some time outside and get fresh air," Kenzie replied.
"I'll talk to your nurse if I can take you to see Peter and then we can have lunch out in the garden," I told her.
"I'd like that Alex," she smiled at me softly, making my heart flutter like the wings of a butterfly; Kenzie has a way of always making me fall in love with her again and again with her smile.
"He looks better than when he was born," Kenzie commented as we ate our lunch in the garden.
"Yeah he does. Hopefully he'll be out of the hospital in a month or two," I told her.
"Why can't he just be perfect and come home with me," Kenzie asked, fighting her tears.
"Peter has to grow more. He was born when he wasn't fully developed. Peter will come home when he's ready. We just have to come back everyday to see him, Kenzie," I told her as I wiped her tears away.
"I know, but I just wish I did have him so soon. I feel like I failed him, like my body rejected him so he couldn't finish growing," she sniffled.
"You didn't fail him, Kenzie. He was too excited to meet us to wait anymore. He's the best birthday present I have ever gotten. I'm a lucky father to share my birthday with my son," I told her.
"Talk about a birthday surprise when your fiancee gives birth to your baby 14 weeks early," Kenzie chuckled, "I'm glad you still had a good birthday."
"Let's get you back to your room, okay. Then we can plan out a homecoming party for when Peter can come home. That way our friends and family can help us get all the little things we'll need for him," I kissed her before I threw away our trash from our lunch before taking her back to her room.
So I just read what you have of this, and I'm sad to see it was never finished. :(
It's a bit rushed at some parts, but I really like the concept of it. It surprised me that you had him gain his memory back kind of quickly; I thought for sure the twist was going to be he was going to lose it again or something. I found it a bit odd how that was kind of the plot for the first half, and then this second part kind of diverted from it. But I really like what you have of it, it's really sweet. :)
If you ever choose to finish it, I will be here to read. Although I think a final chapter wrap-up would totally work for this, if you're struggling for inspiration. Just a final update to conclude it.
You're a great writer, and so, I just wanted to leave a comment letting you know that, and to show that people are still stumbling across this and reading it. :)
7/11/16