"Please don't judge me okay?" I shook my head, "When I was four my mum was in a car accident. About a week after she passed my Dad turned into an alcoholic. He'd blame me for my mum's death, kick me, punch me. I remember trying the kill myself when I was 6, but that's my only memory until I was thirteen. I started getting bullied, badly, because of my music taste. That's when I started self harming. When I was 15 my depression got so bad I couldn't get out of bed. I used to stay in bed all day, I didn't eat for days on end sometimes. That's when I dropped out of school. I honestly couldn't take it anymore. I remember going out to get stuff to eat, there I saw the group of guys that used to bully me. They dragged my out of the shop, into some alley that was in the middle of nowhere. They beat me, called me weak, emo, anorexic, ugly. They left me there thinking I was dead. Every time I go outside I feel like I'm going to have a panic attack, sometimes I do. Being out for this long is actually amazing for me. I guess I just feel safer with someone with me." I didn't know what else to do than hold out my arms. Jack crawled on to lap, burying his face in my chest. "I've never told anyone about this Alex. No one."

"I would give my number or something but I don't have a phone." I said laughing lightly afterwards.

His head shot up, "You don't have a phone?" He said, his mouth opened into an 'o'.

"I don't have anyone to call or text anyway so there's no point." I said shrugging.

"What about your family?" Jack said, his eyebrows bunching up and a confused look spread across his face.

"Dead." I said grimacing.

"Oh, I'm sorry. How?"

"I don't know. Natural causes I guess."

"But you're only like nineteen? Aren't you?"

"Yeah. I don't really know them so..."

"So how did they all die of natural causes if you're only 19?"

"Can we please talk about something else?" I said bitterly, rubbing my temples.

"Sure, yeah, sorry." Jack replied, getting off of my lap awkwardly.

"Maybe I'll tell you someday." I said, staring at the ground.

"Someday? It's a date." Jack said laughing afterwards, I joined in, locking eyes with him. He really was beautiful. He had the most beautiful smile, he had the most gorgeous dark brown eyes that seemed to melt me every time they locked with mine. His eyebrows were pretty bushy but they suited his face perfectly, and his hair seemed to be somehow messily perfect all the time. If that's a thing.

This is the part when I wish I knew what I looked like. I can't see myself in a mirror or any sort of reflection. I don't show up in pictures so basically I have no freaking idea if I would even be good enough for Jack. That is if something happened. Which something probably wont. But just now that didn't matter, everything seemed kinda perfect.

Well that was until a breeze dragged Jack's scent through my nostrils. I clenched my fists, trying to resist the overwhelming temptation. "Alex are you okay?" Jack said, examining my face.

"No. Jack just go to my house, here take my key. I'll be there soon. Quickly! Go!" Jack gave me a confused look but took the key I'd thrown at him and ran. Trying not to run after him was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I had to feed now, or I'm going to do something I regret when I get back.

~

I opened the door running to the bathroom and cleaning my face of blood. "Alex, is that you?" Jack asked. The smell of him wasn't so strong anymore, luckily.

"Yeah it's me." I said walking into my room.

"Alex, what the fuck happened back there?"

I gulped hard, "I guess it's my time to explain."

Notes

THIS CHAPTER SUCKS BUT ITS THE BEST I COULD DO BC IM SO TIRED AND ILL AND I JUST DEK

but alex is gonna open up to Jack I think then u guys can have some jalex ok? ok
so 2 comments and I'll update tomorrow?
ok goodbyyye ily guys