The Remains of my Wasted Youth
015
Rebecca’s POV
*1 week later*
“But you’re a dick I can’t stay mad at.”
Ever since I had said that sentence to Max a week ago things had changed. I and Max had managed to talk everything through and establish a friendship. I know that me and Max will never be where we were all those years ago, well maybe not at the moment. Too much has changed to just revert back to our old friendship but for now it was okay, we were getting along and the tension had dropped…that was a major improvement.
However Alex wasn’t happy. I mean I know I can’t blame him as he is only looking out for me but I wish he would just stop being so overprotective all the time. Ever since I told him me and Max were talking again he’s been against it and I have no clue why. I’m just glad though that he doesn’t show this view around the boys, there’s been enough awkward tension to last to the end of the tour. But boy does he let me know that he’s against it.
I sigh opening my eyes and staring at the ceiling noticing it’s just me in the bunk. I search around till I find a piece of papers with Alex’s identifiable scrawl:
‘Interview with Buzzfeed, be back at 11am, Love you x’
I scrunch up the piece of paper and chuck to the end of the bed before locating my phone and looking at the date. I take a deep breath as the recollection washes over me. Today was the anniversary of my father’s death. I blink a couple of times to avoid any tears from collecting in my eyes. Today I want to do what I do every year on the anniversary and that’s curl up on the sofa with Alex. He knows what today is, he knows the meaning of it. To be honest I’m quite surprised he’s not here now, he’s always there for me when I wake up, sat waiting with a box of tissues and his arms tightly wrapped round me. I shrug knowing that he must have had no choice but to go to this interview.
I take a few deep breaths before climbing out of the bunk, searching through my suitcase and trudging to the bathroom, knowing I will have to take this day bit by bit. I quickly change into my Batman crop top and a pair of denim shorts, today is going to be a hot one. I leave my hair messy and don’t bother with my make up, whats the point anyway, I'm not in the mood to do it. I shove on my bracelets and pull on my shoes before exiting the bathroom.
I hear noises out of the front of the bus and walk through to investigate. I notice that Alex and had Jack had just walked on to the bus, Alex on the phone and Jack following behind. I walk up to Alex and wrap my arms around him, I really need him today. He quickly pushes me off and gestures to his phone while continuing a conversation. I stand shocked for a second before composing myself, maybe he didn’t want to be rude? Jack raises an eyebrow before walking through to his bunk.
I sit patiently waiting for Alex, just wanting to curl up in his arms and cry but instead he remains on the phone. I try to grab his attention, continuously trying to talk to him but he continues to ignore me. Does he seriously not know why I want to talk to him? I listen to parts of his conversation confused, having no clue as to who he’s talking to. I hear the name ‘Alice’ a couple of times and draw up a blank as to who he could be talking to.
“Alex?” I question for the 20th time before finally getting a reply out of him.
“Rebecca I’m on the phone.” He says before returning to the conversation.
“I know it’s just with what today-”
“Rebecca seriously this is important, if you’re bored go find Jack or someone.” He says before turning away from me and continuing to talk down the phone.
I nod close to tears before standing up, grabbing my phone and walking out of the bus slamming the door. He’s forgotten what today is. The one day I need him the most and he has always been there and he’s forgotten. I sigh running a hand through my hair and trying to keep the tears at bay. I know I’m probably overreacting to this but I need him, the one day throughout the year and he forgets.
I wander through the parking lot where all the buses are parked before coming across a little green. I wander over and sit down, my body announcing defeat as the tears begin to pool in my eyes.
I miss him, god do I miss him. He should be here, he should have seen me grow up. He should have seen me on the night of my senior prom. He should be here to see me get married and everything but he’s not. He’s not here because my stupid kidney didn’t work. I absent mindedly trace my hand over the scar which is faint from the years passed and hard to see unless up close. I let the tears fall as I keep my hand to my side. It’s all my fault he’s not here, all of it is my fault, he didn’t deserve any of this, he deserved to be here, with mum, his one true love.
“It wasn’t your fault.” I hear a voice from behind me. I turn round shocked to see who’s standing there.
*1 week later*
“But you’re a dick I can’t stay mad at.”
Ever since I had said that sentence to Max a week ago things had changed. I and Max had managed to talk everything through and establish a friendship. I know that me and Max will never be where we were all those years ago, well maybe not at the moment. Too much has changed to just revert back to our old friendship but for now it was okay, we were getting along and the tension had dropped…that was a major improvement.
However Alex wasn’t happy. I mean I know I can’t blame him as he is only looking out for me but I wish he would just stop being so overprotective all the time. Ever since I told him me and Max were talking again he’s been against it and I have no clue why. I’m just glad though that he doesn’t show this view around the boys, there’s been enough awkward tension to last to the end of the tour. But boy does he let me know that he’s against it.
I sigh opening my eyes and staring at the ceiling noticing it’s just me in the bunk. I search around till I find a piece of papers with Alex’s identifiable scrawl:
‘Interview with Buzzfeed, be back at 11am, Love you x’
I scrunch up the piece of paper and chuck to the end of the bed before locating my phone and looking at the date. I take a deep breath as the recollection washes over me. Today was the anniversary of my father’s death. I blink a couple of times to avoid any tears from collecting in my eyes. Today I want to do what I do every year on the anniversary and that’s curl up on the sofa with Alex. He knows what today is, he knows the meaning of it. To be honest I’m quite surprised he’s not here now, he’s always there for me when I wake up, sat waiting with a box of tissues and his arms tightly wrapped round me. I shrug knowing that he must have had no choice but to go to this interview.
I take a few deep breaths before climbing out of the bunk, searching through my suitcase and trudging to the bathroom, knowing I will have to take this day bit by bit. I quickly change into my Batman crop top and a pair of denim shorts, today is going to be a hot one. I leave my hair messy and don’t bother with my make up, whats the point anyway, I'm not in the mood to do it. I shove on my bracelets and pull on my shoes before exiting the bathroom.
I hear noises out of the front of the bus and walk through to investigate. I notice that Alex and had Jack had just walked on to the bus, Alex on the phone and Jack following behind. I walk up to Alex and wrap my arms around him, I really need him today. He quickly pushes me off and gestures to his phone while continuing a conversation. I stand shocked for a second before composing myself, maybe he didn’t want to be rude? Jack raises an eyebrow before walking through to his bunk.
I sit patiently waiting for Alex, just wanting to curl up in his arms and cry but instead he remains on the phone. I try to grab his attention, continuously trying to talk to him but he continues to ignore me. Does he seriously not know why I want to talk to him? I listen to parts of his conversation confused, having no clue as to who he’s talking to. I hear the name ‘Alice’ a couple of times and draw up a blank as to who he could be talking to.
“Alex?” I question for the 20th time before finally getting a reply out of him.
“Rebecca I’m on the phone.” He says before returning to the conversation.
“I know it’s just with what today-”
“Rebecca seriously this is important, if you’re bored go find Jack or someone.” He says before turning away from me and continuing to talk down the phone.
I nod close to tears before standing up, grabbing my phone and walking out of the bus slamming the door. He’s forgotten what today is. The one day I need him the most and he has always been there and he’s forgotten. I sigh running a hand through my hair and trying to keep the tears at bay. I know I’m probably overreacting to this but I need him, the one day throughout the year and he forgets.
I wander through the parking lot where all the buses are parked before coming across a little green. I wander over and sit down, my body announcing defeat as the tears begin to pool in my eyes.
I miss him, god do I miss him. He should be here, he should have seen me grow up. He should have seen me on the night of my senior prom. He should be here to see me get married and everything but he’s not. He’s not here because my stupid kidney didn’t work. I absent mindedly trace my hand over the scar which is faint from the years passed and hard to see unless up close. I let the tears fall as I keep my hand to my side. It’s all my fault he’s not here, all of it is my fault, he didn’t deserve any of this, he deserved to be here, with mum, his one true love.
“It wasn’t your fault.” I hear a voice from behind me. I turn round shocked to see who’s standing there.
Notes
I'm back!!! With an update! and Drama to come!
Sorry I've been gone for a while, its been one thing after enough, coursework, blood tests, family shit but I am all better now and should hopefully be able to update a little more, I even already have the next chapter written out if you lot ask nice enough! Let me know what you think!
Rebecca's Clothes
I just started reading a few days ago, and I'd def read more! Love it!
2/28/17