Allie

"Ruby hang on mummy's coming, just one minute"


Rushing around my tiny appartment I frantically grabbed as many toys as my tattoed arms could manage, it was a Monday morning and I was in a rush to get down to the hospital as quickly as I could. Jack was near the last part of his chemo and I hoped and prayed that this time, this time it would work.


"Hey Bitch!"


Maddie burst through the wooden door that lead into my appartment, the appartment I rented out was basic. The walls were all beige in colour, very few photos hung up mainly because the majority of them all had Alex in them, the floors were all laminate and the curtains were all black.


I didn't feel the need to decorate because I was hardly here, me and Ruby were always at the hospital with Jack. The appartment for the most part was vacated of any signs of human life, if I'm being honest that is.


"Maddie fucking language!"


Maddie smirked at my response as I covered my red painted lips with my hand, the toys dropping to the floor and my dark chocolate eyes widening in horror. Maddie laughed before punching me lightly on the arm.


"And you tell me off for my language"


She whispered in my ear before skipping off to the nursery, returning with Ruby in her arms all dressed in a matter of minutes.


"How the hell do you manage to get her to do what you want?!"


Ruby would never do as she was told, I wonder who she got that trait from? Maddie shrugged her shoulders as her darkened blonde curls bounced as she soothed Ruby, she pretended Ruby was an airplane scooping her in her arms so she was flat on her belly, her arms swinging from side to side.


"As much as I love you keeping my daughter quiet for a few minutes, could you help me get her into the pram I need to get to the hospital and we're already running late.."


Running around the appartment I tried to scramble as much of the essentials into my handbag; keys, phone, etc. Quickly I bunched my hair up into a quick bun, not even bothering to look into the mirror to check if it was ok, I wasn't out to impress anyone.


My appearance after having children wasn't as great as it used to, I normally chucked on whatever caught my eye and my hair was normally always up and scruffy. Ruffling my dark black fringe to one side with my fingers, Maddie could sense my distress.


"Allie for god sake, chill out. Do you want me to take Ruby off your hands for the day? Jack is coming into work later and I know he would love to see his godchild"

Sighing to myself I immediately stopped what I was doing and dropped onto the kitchen chair, Maddie came and joined me preparing herself for all the excuses that were about to escape from my lips.


"Maddie I don't know, I don't want him to see her..."


Maddie placed a supportive arm around my shoulders, as I eased a little. She sighed inwardly, her other spare hand running all the way through the length of her golden locks.


"Allie he isn't going to be there, just Jack. Jack has a shoot for AP and Alex is doing some thing elsewhere"

Sucking in a huge breath I nodded subconciously, agreeing to Maddie taking Ruby for the day. Quickly thanking her, I grabbed my handbag and the car keys off the island and giving Ruby a quick kiss I made my way outside, to the hospital.


------


"Hey baby mummy's here, I know you can't hear me but I love you. I'll see you soon I've just got to see if the good people have made you better"


Jack was flat out because off all the chemo and drugs, his tiny fingers clung loosely to my single one as I slipped it out of his grasp. The doctor waited anxiously at the end of the cot my son was sleeping in, wires covered the majority as he was hooked up to all sorts of monitors, beeping loudly.


"Miss Johnson can you follow me please"


This was the part I had dreaded for the past 5 weeks, when I knew this could be his last chance or it could be the start of something good. However the feeling in my gut and the look on the doctors face, told me otherwise.


"Just be straight with me please"


I demanded, situating myself in the same chair I have been sitting in for the past 7 months. The doctor shifted through some papers that were placed in front of her, clearing her throat I swallowed the lump down that was building in my own.


"Allie I'm really sorry it hasn't cleared, I know your stuck with money at the moment, but I really don't know what to say. One more lot of treatment could put little Jack in remision, four lots could or, or.."


"Or it could never go away I know"


Tears started to spill over my dark orbs, my vision becoming blurry and as they spilled over the barriers, the taste of my own tears reached my lips. Tired of false hope and the devastion of not being able to pay for anymore treatment, I excused myself swiftly before running over to Jack's cot.


"Allie wait, there might be a charity...."


But I blocked out the sound as I ran even faster to be with my little boy, that as much as i hated to admit it reminded me so much of his father, Alex Gaskarth.

Notes

Here you go guys sorry it took so long, been trying to plan my 21st for next year and hopefully should be going to Miami and Orlando :)

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