No Heroes Allowed
all my life's been wasted, chasing hallow dreams
Allie
It's been 18 months seen I've seen him and a lot has changed, last time you probably heard from me, you heard I was pregnant. Yeah since that happened I dropped off the radar, completely. I didn't want him to know, to give him a reason to come back into my life so easily.
My parents were really supportive actually, well my dad not so much in the beginning, he just wanted to rip his head clean off, and at the time I wasn't going to hold him back. Maddie has been my rock to be honest, coming to all the doctors appointments I had and she even offered to go to all the antenatal classes with me, she was even at the birth, no matter how weird or creepy it must have looked to on goers or the doctors!
But out of this thing I had going on in my life, I have two beautiful babies! yeah you heard right, two. I had twins. Ruby Alice Johnson and Jack Ben Johnson, yes Mr Barakat himself had a say, well practically demanded his godson be named after himself, so I did, on the condition he didn't mention a single thing to him. Jack promised.
However after all the support I got throughout my pregnancy, I never thought I'd need it twice as much after they were born. Jack got sick at about 2 months, he kept catching infections all the time, coughing, vomiting and I noticed his skin grow paler than his sisters, he wasn't himself.
Maddie came with me when we took him to the doctors, my baby was poked and prodded with all sorts of needles and test, until we finally got the results, the results that made me sick to my stomach and thought this was some form of punishment placed upon myself. My beautiful baby boy was diagnosed with AML, acute myelogenous leukaemia.
I spent most of my teenage years in and out of children's hospitals, taking Jack for antibiotics, blood transfusions and other tests to make sure his blood cell count hadn't changed or god forbid the leukaemia had spread. Luckily it hadn't the doctors kept it under control and told me his success rate was good.
Jack is now in a specialised children hospital day in and out as they think it's best for him to stay admitted, instead of at home. I haven't taken him home for about 5 months now, he constantly has to have chemotherapy, they give him anticancer drugs regularly and because he is too young to take it by mouth, they inject it into his veins.
Maddie worries about even more now, she has begged and pleaded with me to let her look after Jack for a few days at the hospital, for me to go home and sleep for a while. I couldn't leave his side though, no never. He was my baby boy and to be honest I couldn't leave him because he looked so much like, him.
I kept thinking if I leave him for a few hours and something happened, I'd never forgive myself. My whole life plan had changed since them two came into my life, I didn't go to university in the end with the money Rob and, and he had given me. I spent all the money on little Jack's chemotherapy. I was slowly running out of money too and I just prayed that Jack would get better before it all ran out, because I'd have nothing.
Anyway that's what my life has been like, I haven't contacted A..Alex since that night in the parking lot. He doesn't know I gave birth to not one of his children, but two, I was frightened that if I did tell him, he'd either make me get rid or use them as a reason for me to give him another chance.
Since you last all saw me my hair has gone longer, a dark brown/black now, I've acquired a lot of tattoos, ones which Ruby is constantly affixed upon, I know she can't talk yet but her eyes follow them eagerly...she is going to take exactly after her mum. Jack, well Jack is exactly like Alex, the big brown eyes, the chesnut brown hair and the same smile that I can't help but fall in love with, still.
Have I had anyone since Alex, nope. I can't, as much as I hate him to death right now, he still is the father of my kids and I can never ever change that. I see him on the television all the time, he has had other girls you can't deny that after all the screaming fans, he is gorgeous and that has always been Alex Gaskarth's biggest power, it won me over once...never again.
It's been 18 months seen I've seen him and a lot has changed, last time you probably heard from me, you heard I was pregnant. Yeah since that happened I dropped off the radar, completely. I didn't want him to know, to give him a reason to come back into my life so easily.
My parents were really supportive actually, well my dad not so much in the beginning, he just wanted to rip his head clean off, and at the time I wasn't going to hold him back. Maddie has been my rock to be honest, coming to all the doctors appointments I had and she even offered to go to all the antenatal classes with me, she was even at the birth, no matter how weird or creepy it must have looked to on goers or the doctors!
But out of this thing I had going on in my life, I have two beautiful babies! yeah you heard right, two. I had twins. Ruby Alice Johnson and Jack Ben Johnson, yes Mr Barakat himself had a say, well practically demanded his godson be named after himself, so I did, on the condition he didn't mention a single thing to him. Jack promised.
However after all the support I got throughout my pregnancy, I never thought I'd need it twice as much after they were born. Jack got sick at about 2 months, he kept catching infections all the time, coughing, vomiting and I noticed his skin grow paler than his sisters, he wasn't himself.
Maddie came with me when we took him to the doctors, my baby was poked and prodded with all sorts of needles and test, until we finally got the results, the results that made me sick to my stomach and thought this was some form of punishment placed upon myself. My beautiful baby boy was diagnosed with AML, acute myelogenous leukaemia.
I spent most of my teenage years in and out of children's hospitals, taking Jack for antibiotics, blood transfusions and other tests to make sure his blood cell count hadn't changed or god forbid the leukaemia had spread. Luckily it hadn't the doctors kept it under control and told me his success rate was good.
Jack is now in a specialised children hospital day in and out as they think it's best for him to stay admitted, instead of at home. I haven't taken him home for about 5 months now, he constantly has to have chemotherapy, they give him anticancer drugs regularly and because he is too young to take it by mouth, they inject it into his veins.
Maddie worries about even more now, she has begged and pleaded with me to let her look after Jack for a few days at the hospital, for me to go home and sleep for a while. I couldn't leave his side though, no never. He was my baby boy and to be honest I couldn't leave him because he looked so much like, him.
I kept thinking if I leave him for a few hours and something happened, I'd never forgive myself. My whole life plan had changed since them two came into my life, I didn't go to university in the end with the money Rob and, and he had given me. I spent all the money on little Jack's chemotherapy. I was slowly running out of money too and I just prayed that Jack would get better before it all ran out, because I'd have nothing.
Anyway that's what my life has been like, I haven't contacted A..Alex since that night in the parking lot. He doesn't know I gave birth to not one of his children, but two, I was frightened that if I did tell him, he'd either make me get rid or use them as a reason for me to give him another chance.
Since you last all saw me my hair has gone longer, a dark brown/black now, I've acquired a lot of tattoos, ones which Ruby is constantly affixed upon, I know she can't talk yet but her eyes follow them eagerly...she is going to take exactly after her mum. Jack, well Jack is exactly like Alex, the big brown eyes, the chesnut brown hair and the same smile that I can't help but fall in love with, still.
Have I had anyone since Alex, nope. I can't, as much as I hate him to death right now, he still is the father of my kids and I can never ever change that. I see him on the television all the time, he has had other girls you can't deny that after all the screaming fans, he is gorgeous and that has always been Alex Gaskarth's biggest power, it won me over once...never again.
Notes
I'm back :)So here is the sequel I promised, hope you enjoy!
If you do leave me a nice, or not so nice comment.
Amy :)
#TeamAlex. I'm probably the only one waiting for an update still! Love this story!!
10/20/14