Alex’s POV

It had been a couple of weeks since the incident, I didn’t question anything about what happened that day; instead I left it. I decided that bringing it up would upset Rebecca; there must be reason for why she’s not telling me what she was finding. But it didn’t stop me from worrying, I watched Rebecca’s every move, always checking up on her. I wanted to know what she meant, who did she think she ‘killed’?

I had this gut feeling that one day the truth would come out, I just hoped that the truth didn’t ruin us.

Rebecca’s POV

I was so stupid.

I should have realised what song they would play at the Green Day concert, then after my mum told me I had been saying things when I was out of it, apparently I said it was my fault, my fault he died, well it was to be truthful, I have the scar to prove it…I hated myself for what I did, I hated the scar my actions had caused.

* * *

I walked to my locker at the end of 2nd period, I had spent the day so far trying to forget what this day was, why this day was important. I enter my combination and start putting books away and getting books out for my next lesson, that’s when Alex arrived to walk me to my next lesson. I was surprised he had yet to bring up what I had said, I shrug it off and smile at Alex.

“why hello there my beautiful bestfriend.” He says smiling at me standing next to my open locker door.

“hello twat.” I reply laughing. He pulls a hurt face and clutches his heart as if I had just punched him.

“Wow that hurt beccz” he replies sadly before poking his tongue out. I laugh at his childish antics.

“Oh grow up.” I mutter still laughing. I continue putting my books away till I hear a high shrilly voice.

“Lex!” yells Kendra as she struts down the corridor towards Alex. I see Alex roll his eyes and I can’t help but try to hold back the laughter.

“Lex where have you been I’ve been looking everywhere for you?” she asks placing her hand suggestively on his arm, he quickly shakes her off causing me to laugh and her to shoot a glare at me.

“What you laughing at you emo?” she asks shooting me a glare, I brush off the calling of emo, today I didn’t need to be dealing with this shit. When she realises I won’t be answering her she goes back to looking at Alex.

“And why was you looking for me Kendra?” he asks crossing his arms. By now the hallway is cleared and everyone is at lessons but us.

“Just wanted to talk Lex.” She mutters in what she thinks is a seductive way. God does she not realise how high pitch and nasally her voice is. I’m surprised the schools windows haven’t shattered.

“I can’t talk at the moment; I need to go with Becca to her next lesson.” He replies as he notices I’ve shut my locker door and is ready to go.

“Why do you wanna walk with her?” she asks him in a somewhat shocked manner, I couldn’t help but notice the emphasis she put on ‘her’, as if I am some shit on her shoe.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Alex replies somewhat angry, looks like he noticed the emphasis as well.

“Well for starters she’s a fucking ugly freak.” She answers back as if the answers obvious. I feel an ache when I hear her say ugly, I mean I know I am but when it comes from other people, it hurts you.

“She is not” He yells at her, anger seeping through. Why was he getting so angry for? She was telling the truth.

“Yes she is! She’s a fucking emo freak who cuts herself.” She yells. I feel my whole body freeze and my heart stop. How did she fucking find out? She turns to stare at me now, an evil grin on her face. “You thought no one knew your secret you little freak, well I did, I saw them in P.E, you cut yourself, is that how you got Alex and them lot to hang out with you, made them feel sorry for you by slicing away at your pathetic self?” she mutters right to my face. By now the tears were running down my eyes.

“R-Rebecca, is this true?” Alex asks me with a scared expression on my face. This is all too much to take.

“Of course it’s fucking true look.” Kendra explains before pushing up the front of my shirt to show off my scars. I pull away and pull the shirt back down, before glancing up at Alex and seeing an unreadable expression on his face. He hates me now, I have to get out.

Quickly I run out of the school, away from Alex who keeps calling my name. I run all the way to my car, climbing in and turning the engine on. I drive the whole way home crying, the music at top blast, not even bothering to turn the music down. I arrive at home and rush inside, mums at work and Jake is at school. I run up to my room and lock the door before going to the bathroom.

I pull my shirt off throwing it on the floor, before looking for the blade in my drawers. I find the shiny object and hold it to my hip. I feel a surge of control as I drag the slim blade along my hip, blood starts to dribble as I breathe a sigh of relief. Finally I feel in control out of the whole day. I continue to slice away at my hip and stomach, muttering to myself about how I’m ugly, how everything’s my fault, how it’s my fault he died. I collapse to the floor in tears, crying and bleeding. This is what I needed…to escape reality.

Notes

This chapter was difficult to write, I have close friends of mine who believe this is what they need to do, but they don't, I will always be there for them as they do not deserve it, this is to anyone who self harms: There are better ways, please don't hurt yourself cause at the end of the day you are amazing! No matter what those lowlife bullies say, believe in yourself not them <3

I was considering not posting this cause I didn't want to upset people but I thought no. There are people out there who need to know that just because they cut, I do not think less of them, they need to know people are them for them, everyone matters.

I'm sorry if this chapter has offended anyone in any way...Please give me your thoughts on this chapter.