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Dear Jack,


“That’s it; I am NEVER going shopping with you again.” I huff, as I throw the many shopping bags onto the coach before collapsing down beside them, taking a quick moment to catch my breath and flex my fingers, to relieve some of the tension out of them from carrying so many bags. “Seriously, why do you need to buy so many dresses and jackets? You can only wear them one at a time you know, and don’t even get me started on the amount of shoes…”

“Jack…Are you ever going to stop complaining?” May asks, taking off her jacket and taking a seat on the Lazy Boy opposite me. “You knew what to expect when you agreed to come shopping with me, besides you weren’t exactly paying attention to what was going on around you in any case, you were too busy staring at your damn phone. Haven’t you ever heard of the phrase ‘a watched pot never boils’? Well, in this case your phone is the pot and it’s never going to ring if you keep staring at it!”

“It’s not my fault, I can’t help it. It’s driving me crazy not knowing whether he’s okay or not, last time I saw him…” I pause, running a hand frantically through my hair as I let out a long frustrated sigh. “It didn’t exactly go as well as I had wanted it to and I feel really bad about it. I’m scared that he really will just write to me for his project and then just say bye-bye without another glance.”

Yeah, I told May all about Alex. I also told her that I gave my cell phone number to Rian to hand over to Alex, and I even told her everything that had happened the day I got back to America, although May being May overlooked that particular incident for a few moments before focusing on the fact that I didn’t come to see her the very moment that the plane touched back down on American soil. It should of felt weird for me to be talking to her about Alex but, me and May have always been close; hell she’s not only my sister, she’s practically my best friend. We tell each other everything because we’re always there for another and mostly as we have no one else to tell things too.

“Well, if you feel ‘so bad’ about what happened, then instead of just staring at your phone, why don’t you get off of your fat backside and go check on him, apologize if you must. Just do something, anything if it’ll just get you to stop brooding.” May smirks, picking up one of the small cushions and lobbing it at me; her aim missing my head by a mere centimetre.

“What? I don’t brood.” I protest, shoving the cushion onto the other side of the couch before crossing my arms over my chest and narrowing my eyes at her. “And I most certainly do not have a ‘fat backside’ as you have so kindly put it.”

“Jack, sweetie…I’m your sister, trust me…you brood.” May smiles, pulling her legs up to her chest; wrapping her arms around them and resting her head on top lightly before continuing in a more serious tone. “Listen…I know that you’ve been through a lot since you lost Zack…”

“No, I don’t want to talk about this, not again May.” I protest, shaking my head and getting up from my seat, only to be stopped by May reaching out to grab hold of my wrist.

“…You joined up to the army such a short time after losing him. I know that you thought it would probably help you to cope with your grief by getting away from here for a while but…the point is, Jack. I’ve seen you at your worst and if anything can avoid making you feel like that again, then you should go for it. I want to see you happy again Jack, I want to see you as happy as you were when you first met Zack and started talking to him. It’s not going to be exactly the same but I know that Alex will make you happy…You just have to go and get him, show him that you’re not going to leave him.”

I turn my head away from her, closing my eyes as I take in a deep breath I let May’s words sink into my mind. It’s true, I did initially sign up to the army to try and disperse some of the built up anger and hostility that I was keeping bottled up but it wasn’t the only reason. Shaking my head I look back at May, feeling the tears forming in the corners of my eyes I quickly wipe them away, May pulling me down in the small space next to her and wrapping her arms around me, stroking my hair softly.

“I’m sorry, Jack…All that I’m trying to say is that you only have a few more days back home before you have to go back out into the line of duty, don’t waste what precious time that you have left by doing nothing to fix things between you both. If you do, you might end up regretting it for the rest of your life.”

“I won’t…Thank you, May.” I whisper softly as I lift my head to place a small kiss on her cheek. “For everything, you’ve always been there for me whenever I needed you. I couldn’t ask for a better sister.”

“Any time, Jack Attack. Any time.” May smiles as she rests her head on top of mine, tightening her grip on me.

I let a smile tug at the corners of my mouth at the nickname that May christened me with when we were younger. Looking back to when we were younger, I couldn’t help but shake my head slightly at the fact that times were so much simpler back then, before we had to grow up and face the big world that was in front of us. Letting out a sigh, I let my mind wonder through old memories; if only it was easier to turn back the clocks on our age, instead of just our minds re-running through memories of when we were children.

My mind was just about to remember the time when our brother Joe lost me for two hours in the middle of the extremely busy New York City Zoo on a family vacation, when it was brought back to the present time by the sound of my phone buzzing through the fabric of my jean pocket. Breaking May’s grip on me, I sit bolt upright and hastily pull the small device from the tight confines of the jeans; managing to answer it in time before it went to voicemail.

“Hello?” I answer exasperatedly as May gives me a reassuring smile.

Jack…It’s Alex. We need to talk.”


As much as I was relieved to hear Alex’s voice, on the phone he sounded…well, he didn’t sound upset so I guess that I should take that as a positive sign. He didn’t specify what he wanted to talk with me about, but I was just relieved and grateful that Rian did as I asked and gave my number to Alex. We both agreed to me in an hour at the cemetery by the town centre, it’s not my exact idea of a happy meeting place, but it would give me the chance to see Alex and hopefully show him what I mean when I say that time really will heal the pain of a loss.

Stepping through the wrought iron gates of the cemetery, I veer off to the left path and head towards an old oak tree, running my hand across the trunk, I take in a deep breath and slide down to the floor; leaning my back and head against the rough bark. It had been a while since I was last here, a little more than a year ago to be exact, but it was still as peaceful as ever. The groundskeepers have done a fantastic job keeping the grass neat and tidy, the graves well-tended.

After a few peaceful minutes just looking around at my surroundings, I let my body relax against the oak, closing my eyes and letting my ears take in the sounds of the birds chirping contentedly in the surrounding trees, the scuffling of the squirrels as they make their way across the grass in the search of favourable nuts and other squirrel approved treats.

I was so lost in the peaceful tranquillity of my surroundings that I didn’t hear the footsteps approach me; the only indication that I got that someone was there beside me, was the small cough that they let out. Opening my eyes, I lift a hand up to block out the sun; allowing me to get a clear look at the person stood beside me, a small smile playing across my lips as I recognise the young man before me with his hands shoved deep inside of his jacket pockets. Alex.

“Hey…” I greet quietly, my voice soft as I pat a patch of grass beside me, inviting him to take a seat next to me. “I’m so glad that you called. I’m so sorry about…”

“Don’t, Jack. You don’t have anything to apologise for. It’s me that should be apologising to you.” Alex sighs as he accepts the invitation and sinks down to the grass next to me, his hands never leaving his pockets as he crosses his legs in front of him. “I’ve been thinking for the past couple of days about what I really want to happen between us; mainly if we should just carry on writing the letters and nothing more, and I was so close to agreeing to that though but…it wasn’t until I spoke to someone that I finally realised something. I’m only going to be here once, I’m only going to get one opportunity to make something happen, and so I should just take a chance and grab it. I mean, that’s what I should do, right?”

I’m not sure what Alex was getting at, so I just nod in response to his question. In the pause that he takes, I take the time to look at him; I mean really look at him. Since the last time I saw him, he did look better, healthier. His sweet honey-chocolate coloured hair was dishevelled, but it was a sexy, shiny dishevelled; which made him appear at least two years younger. His eyes on the other hand, so full of wisdom and pain, looked tired but you could still see that they held the spark of life that is expected to be seen in a young man’s eyes. His black skinny jeans and tight fit striped t-shirt suited him well. I had to make sure that my jaw didn’t drop as I stared at him; we didn’t need any more awkwardness between us.

“Despite how scared I am about getting close to someone, only to lose them a few years later…I’m willing to take a chance and see where this friendship will go. I’m not going to say that it will be easy to accept someone new, but from the letters that I’ve received from you so far, I know that we have some things in common which will make it easier for me to try and make this work.” Alex explains as he looks up from the grass to gaze into my eyes, taking a small breath before continuing in a small voice. “I get that you were trying to help me when you first met me, and I’m still so sorry about how I acted. I do appreciate your concern and I get that I probably don’t even deserve to be talking to you right now but if you can forgive my earlier behaviour...Then I would really like to get to know you more. That is…if you’d want to get to know me too.”

I let Alex’s words sink in for a few minutes, I could feel my heart clenching in my chest at the sadness in his voice. He sounded so sincere and desperate for a second chance to make things right. Without thinking about what I was doing, I reached out a hand and placed it on his shoulders, causing him to jump ever so slightly at the touch.

“Alex. I understand what you were going through when we first met, so please don’t apologise, you don’t have to. Secondly, I would really love to get to know you some more, I agree with you that this could be something good.” I tell him truthfully, a smile forming on my lips as I give his shoulder a little squeeze before continuing in a bright tone. “Hey listen, my Mom is putting on a little party tomorrow night, if you’d like to come? It’s sort of welcome home / good luck out there kind of party. Mostly family members but you’re more than welcome to come; it’ll give you the chance to meet Matt too, he’s also a soldier and my best friend; it’ll be a good opportunity to get an insight into my home life, who knows it might even help with your project.” I explain, adding a pleading tone to my voice in the hopes that he’ll say yes.

“That would be really amazing, thank you for the invitation.” Alex replies, smiling at me and I felt myself smiling at his smile; as cheesy at that sounds, it’s true. Alex’s smile really was infectious.

“You’re very welcome.” I reply gently, before turning my attention back to the scenery in front of me; enjoying the peaceful silence and Alex’s presence and I can tell that he was enjoying it too by the way in which he moved his body closer to mine and leaned back so that he was sat in the same position in which I was with his back to the rough bark of the oak tree.

If only there was a way that we could stay sat like this forever.


*This is the account to follow for new updates!*

EarthToLottie; EarthToLottie;

i miss this story so much

JalexInMyButt JalexInMyButt


AllTimeSlut AllTimeSlut


Well, thank you :D

@Dean Winchester;
Yaaay! :D This story is awesome, by the way.

MakeMeLoveATL MakeMeLoveATL