-Alex POV-

I honestly couldn't believe what I had found, was that the big secret everyone was hiding from me? That would make sense, Kellin stopping for his family, all of Jaime's rants; it just all added up.

I slammed the drawer shut, still holding the small clear pouch and ran down the stairs, forgetting the physical pain located in both my head and gut which was now placed with an emotional ache. I sprung up from the bed tossing the blanket half way across the room and storming down the stairs to find the pair of them sat on the couch laughing, well, they were laughing until they saw me.

''Hey babe-'' Jack started.

''What the FUCK is this?!" I spat, throwing his dirty little secret right in his face.

His eyes widened as he realized the situation.

''I'm gonna uhh, go. I'll see ya around.'' Kellin announced and walking through the lounge door.

I paced around the coffee table, waiting for an answer. ''WELL?" I demanded.

He twiddled his fingers and looked down at them shrugging. ''It's no biggie.'' He mumbled under his breath.

My eyeballs nearly popped right out of my skull at that point. ''NO FUCKING BIGGIE?!''

''Not really, I mean, I've done it for years...I'm not an addict, it's just fun yanno?''

I was starting to question if I even knew the boy opposite me now, he'd kept this from me for eight months, not to mention his whole career it would have been in the papers and everything surely. ''How? How is it fun? I just don't get why you'd want to do do that to yours-'' I stopped as I felt a tear slide down along my cheek and I hurriedly wiped it away. ''I have to go, I'm not going to stick around to watch you fucking kill yourself, I'm sorry.'' I picked up my jacket and headed to the door.

I heard footsteps chasing after me and Jack flung his body in front of me so that his back was pressed against the door. ''It won't kill me Lex, it won't.''

I shakily ran a hand through my hair trying to hold back more tears that were threatening to spill. ''That's exactly what Tom said y'know.''

''...Tom?'' He asked, a puzzled look across his face.

I realised I hadn't told him I have a sibling...had a sibling. ''Doesn't matter.'' I stated, the tears finally escaping when I squeezed my eyes shut.

''Baby, yes it does if it's making you upset,'' he soothed, pulling me into a hug and wrapping his arms around my entire body, one around my lower back, and the other, my shoulders. ''Tell me.''

I exhaled deeply and nuzzled into the crook of his neck, feeling more secure. ''This is a better time that any I guess,'' I said sniffling. ''I uhh, Tom's my brother, well, was my older brother....he overdosed a few years back...'' I let out a shaky breath against his skin as I pictured the last time I saw him.

***flashback***

It was the end of my school year and our first day of summer vacation. I'd spent the whole afternoon in our blow up pool in the yard with Tom, we were messing around having tidal-wave fights, trying to do underwater somersaults whilst we had Blink coming through the boom box that was connected to an extension lead that ran through the house.

I'd just grabbed a cool pop from the freezer and threw one to Tom as I jumped back over the side and landing in the water.

''Dammit douchebag, chill!" He laughed, throwing the football in my direction, causing it to make a splash right in front of my face.

''NEVER!" I yelled, triumphantly opening my pop and taking a bite. ''I'll annoy the the whole summer, promise.''

The smile faded from his face as he looked down at the water's surface before bringing his gaze up to meet mine. ''What are your plans for summer anyway?''

''Probably go out to the club circuit like every year, but this time I actually have my own song to play, like, one I wrote.'' I beamed, taking another bite of the orange flavored ice.

''Wow, you wrote a song? That's awesome bro, can I hear it?''

I nodded shyly, he'd heard all of my covers and stuff before-hand and he usually came to the local shows to support me, he was my biggest fan besides mom and dad. I stood up and got out of the water, wrapping a towel around my waist as I went inside to grab my guitar.

I came back outside to see Tom taking a drag of his rolled up cigarette, I rolled my eyes at the discomfort of seeing him do that and I set my instrument on my lap checking it's tuning. ''Okay, don't laugh, please?" I smiled as he agreed not to. ''It's called Circles.''

After I finished playing, I looked at him to see the biggest smile on his face I think I've ever seen, not just on him, but on anyone. His wet hair clung to the sides of his face, framing it perfectly and the sun behind his head caught it perfectly, making it look like he was literally glowing. ''You're gonna get far Alex, I'm so proud of you'' He spoke now with a half smile.

I returned the grin and went into my room to play video games for the rest of the night; not realizing that was the last thing he'd ever say to me.

***End of flashback***

''He...he overdosed?'' Jack repeated, snapping me back into reality.

I nodded against his neck, pursing my lips and breaking myself apart from him. ''A-and that's why I have to go, I can't lose you to it too, I'm sorry-''

''No no no...Lex you don't have to leave! Please, I love you, don't go! I'll stop it, I promise...just, please stay, please?'' He begged, cupping my face in both of his hands.

''Promise?'' I asked full of hope. ''Will you flush it, like now? I just want to make sure, I want to keep you safe, please let me.''

He pulled me back in and pressed his lips on my fringe that was covering my forehead. ''Bathroom ahoy!"

We walked hand in hand up to our bedroom and into the en-suit. Jack let go of me to unseal the small clear pouch and gave me a reassuring smile before emptying it completely down the toilet and placing his hand on the flush. ''Bye bye.'' He said with a childish voice and pressing down on the handle, making all of my worries disappear into nothingness.

''Thank you.'' I whispered watching the one thing I hate the most leave my life via a swirling bowl of water.

He squeezed my hand and walked out and got into bed, making grabby hands at me to join him. I tugged off my skinny jeans and climbed in next to him. I propped myself up and leaned over him, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear then lowering myself slowly down to make our lips meet. The same sparks shot through my body at the contact; every touch awakening me and making me feel more alive than I ever could, he was perfect in every way imaginable, and he was all mine. I felt him smile into the kiss and I instinctively do the same, I led myself flat on my back, our fingers twined together.

''Hey...Jay?''

''Mhm?''

''Was all of....that what Jaime kept shouting about, like on vacation and at the party?'' I asked, motioning a circle in the air with my arm.

He let out a heavy sigh. ''Yeah, I really am sorry, Lex.''

I hushed him and placed a finger over his lips to stop him from talking. I let the room fill with a comfortable silence, us just holding each other.

My thoughts trailed back to times of being with Tom and all the times he heard me perform, always right at the front, miming all of the words...the last thing he said to me was that he was proud of me.

Hey, bro? I made it, just like you said I would, I miss you.

Notes

Have some feels guys ;-;

I was dreading writing this chapter and I'm pretty sure I have failed it :c

Anywhore;
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Thank you for reading :D

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