Secrets and Lies
Chapter Ten
-Alex POV-
I still hadn't quite come to terms with Jack's deal that he offered me last night, I couldn't sleep because of it, it was playing on my mind, spinning around like a broken record. I couldn't really accept it, could I? People usually save their first time for someone special, the person that they love, exactly like Jack had done with Vic.
All day at work I was wracking my brains, making a mental list of positives and negatives about it, ad so far, the negatives were massively outweighing the pros...I barely knew the guy for a start! I mean, imagine how freaking awkward it would be, and how would it even work, like, how would it be initiated?
Secondly, I was scared as hell. Scared of the pain for a start, but most importantly scared of being judged, my body wasn't that great and I wouldn't even know what I was doing, and what te heck was going to happen afterwards? Do we just go back o being friends after, or would it be too weird? Probably.
However, like I had told Jack last night, I did want to experience these things, and who better to do that with than freaking Jack Barakat - musical genius. Which led me on to my only other positive thing about this whole ordeal - he would help me get signed! Yet that could take years....was it really worth it?
After getting back home later that day and thinking about it a lot, I had my answer.
I fumbled around in my pockets searching for my cell, when I found it I opened up Jack's contact and sent him a text message.
To; Skunk Boy
ive been thinking about ur offer & I have an answer. Wanna come over 4 a bit?
About 20 minutes later I got a reply from him saying he was with Vic and Kellin right now but he'd be over in an hour or so. I kept myself busy for the next hour by scribbling away in my lyric book, writing out my recent thoughts.
I fought it for a long time now,
While drowning in a river of denial,
I washed up, fixed up, picked up all my broken things
I suddenly looked down at what I was wearing...nothing but my boxer - briefs, I didn't want Jack to see me in my underwear so I went up to my room and pulled on some sweats and a plain white tee, walked back downstairs ad started coming up with a chord sequence for the lyrics I had come up with earlier.
-Jack POV-
I got to Alex's place at about 9, I'd spent the day with Kellin and Vic out and about having a bit of fun before I had to leave Baltimore in a week and head out to LA to record.
As I sat on his kitchen side I was wandering about what his answer was going to be, I wasn't going to ask him though, I'd just wait for him to bring it up. I looked over to his lounge opposite us and saw the Gibson I had given him propped up against the wall and a small notebook on the coffee table in the centre of our room. "What've you been working on?" I asked nodding towards it.
"Oh, I started to write something earlier, I was planning out the chords 'n' stuff before you came over," he said handing me a juice box from the fridge. I just smiled at him hopping off if the counter and following him into the lounge so that we could watch a movie. I made him put it on Sky Movies as Home Alone was due to start soon, he put the remote on the arm of his side of the couch and turned to face the TV. "So, I s'pose you wanna know what my answer is," he mumbled.
I felt my stomach do a few little flips and I looked at him with a weak smile. "Oh yeah, I forgot that's why I came over," I lied.
"So, here's the thing...I just can't go through with it, I was thinking really hard about it, and it just doesn't seem right....I-I'm sorry." He apologised.
My heart fell in to my gut and I swallowed hard. "S'cool, doesn't make a difference to me, dude!"
After that we both watched the film in silence, just as the credits were about to start, Alex rolled over and wrapped one arm around my waist in his sleep. I should have got up there and then to go back home, but instead I looked at his face, he looked so at peace, I put my arm around his shoulders and leaned my head on the top of his.
Falling asleep with the feeling of butterflies.
I still hadn't quite come to terms with Jack's deal that he offered me last night, I couldn't sleep because of it, it was playing on my mind, spinning around like a broken record. I couldn't really accept it, could I? People usually save their first time for someone special, the person that they love, exactly like Jack had done with Vic.
All day at work I was wracking my brains, making a mental list of positives and negatives about it, ad so far, the negatives were massively outweighing the pros...I barely knew the guy for a start! I mean, imagine how freaking awkward it would be, and how would it even work, like, how would it be initiated?
Secondly, I was scared as hell. Scared of the pain for a start, but most importantly scared of being judged, my body wasn't that great and I wouldn't even know what I was doing, and what te heck was going to happen afterwards? Do we just go back o being friends after, or would it be too weird? Probably.
However, like I had told Jack last night, I did want to experience these things, and who better to do that with than freaking Jack Barakat - musical genius. Which led me on to my only other positive thing about this whole ordeal - he would help me get signed! Yet that could take years....was it really worth it?
After getting back home later that day and thinking about it a lot, I had my answer.
I fumbled around in my pockets searching for my cell, when I found it I opened up Jack's contact and sent him a text message.
To; Skunk Boy
ive been thinking about ur offer & I have an answer. Wanna come over 4 a bit?
About 20 minutes later I got a reply from him saying he was with Vic and Kellin right now but he'd be over in an hour or so. I kept myself busy for the next hour by scribbling away in my lyric book, writing out my recent thoughts.
I fought it for a long time now,
While drowning in a river of denial,
I washed up, fixed up, picked up all my broken things
I suddenly looked down at what I was wearing...nothing but my boxer - briefs, I didn't want Jack to see me in my underwear so I went up to my room and pulled on some sweats and a plain white tee, walked back downstairs ad started coming up with a chord sequence for the lyrics I had come up with earlier.
-Jack POV-
I got to Alex's place at about 9, I'd spent the day with Kellin and Vic out and about having a bit of fun before I had to leave Baltimore in a week and head out to LA to record.
As I sat on his kitchen side I was wandering about what his answer was going to be, I wasn't going to ask him though, I'd just wait for him to bring it up. I looked over to his lounge opposite us and saw the Gibson I had given him propped up against the wall and a small notebook on the coffee table in the centre of our room. "What've you been working on?" I asked nodding towards it.
"Oh, I started to write something earlier, I was planning out the chords 'n' stuff before you came over," he said handing me a juice box from the fridge. I just smiled at him hopping off if the counter and following him into the lounge so that we could watch a movie. I made him put it on Sky Movies as Home Alone was due to start soon, he put the remote on the arm of his side of the couch and turned to face the TV. "So, I s'pose you wanna know what my answer is," he mumbled.
I felt my stomach do a few little flips and I looked at him with a weak smile. "Oh yeah, I forgot that's why I came over," I lied.
"So, here's the thing...I just can't go through with it, I was thinking really hard about it, and it just doesn't seem right....I-I'm sorry." He apologised.
My heart fell in to my gut and I swallowed hard. "S'cool, doesn't make a difference to me, dude!"
After that we both watched the film in silence, just as the credits were about to start, Alex rolled over and wrapped one arm around my waist in his sleep. I should have got up there and then to go back home, but instead I looked at his face, he looked so at peace, I put my arm around his shoulders and leaned my head on the top of his.
Falling asleep with the feeling of butterflies.
Notes
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