I need you to survive
On the edge
I was running down the cold street tears streaming as i felt the sea breeze and saw the bridge. I began to walk on the bridge why? To end it. I was fed up with everything my life was crashing over me like a tilde wave and my parents told me it was a faze. Its not! I tried to call my brother but their manager answered saying he was getting ready i sighed hanging up then ran out and here i was.
Let me introduce myself. Im julia Gaskarth. Im 16 almost 17 in april and yes Alex from All time low's little sister. I live in Baltimore with my parents and i know they love me but they don't support me they know about my self harm but they think its a faze. The only people who help are Alex and his band mates who are like my brothers. They have been away a year now and all i need is to just talk but i cant and after tonight.. I need to .
I leaned forward getting closer as my phone rang the wind wipping my fave. I pulled it out and saw Alex's ID i quickly answered it
" H-hello" i choked out hearing screaming and girls
" Julia.. Oh thank god.. Sorry i missed your call was getting dressed and mom called.. Where are you?" He asked
" Alex.. I-i cant do this anymore" i got out crying
" julia no.. Where are you ?" He sounded sad and scared
" duxbury bridge.." I said
" no.. Julia no please whats wrong please dont." He said and the room went silent
" she ok man?" Jack asked
" T-they all hate me Alex!" I got out sobbing
" who does cutie?" He asked
" everyone at school! They all do!" I cried
" James never liked me i was a dare so he could find out everything out and today at lunch him n gen made out and held me telling my secret! Thrn mom yelled at me for leaving school and we got in a fight and i cant take it anymore" i cried he sighed
" hun, im so sorry but fuck them hear me FUCK THEM!" He screamed
" FUCK EM IN THE ASS" jack screamed causing a small smile
" they dont matter listen to me ok listen, your different thats a good thing they dont get it but see their all the same. Nit something to be proud of and mum.. Shes mom she's sometimes a pain but listen . I love you and you mean so much to me do you hear me loud and clear lil j?" He said i giggled
" that's what i like to hear" he said smiling i bet
" i miss you" i got out
" i miss you too baby girl. So much it hurts." He got out a tear fell
" do me a favor right now do as i tell u" he said
" ok" i got out
" step back like five steps" he said i obeyed now on the wood
" turn towards the beach" he said i obeyed
The sun setting made it beautiful
" pretty?" He asked
" yeah.." I got out
When i was 6 and he was 16 he would walk me down here holding my hand and we would look at the ocean.. I felt a tear as he laughed alil
" now take a pic n send it to me" he said
I did using my camera on my iphone and sent it
" wow.. Beautiful" he said i smiled hearing jack scream
" AHHH THREE MINUTES ALEX " he screamed i laughed
" LOVE U JULIA MISD UR UGLY FACE" he called
" LOVE U JACK" i said
" im sorry i have to go kid, please lay on the beach or go home but dont end it.. I cant lose my baby sister.. I-i cant lose another sibling ok? Hold your head high sweetie ill call you later and maybe sing if your lucky.. Stay safe ok?" He asked
" i will Alex.. Thank you Ale" i said he chuckled
" no prob ju ju" i smirked
" go live your life rockstar " i muttered
" i love you so much please .. No hurting yourself ill get you threw this tonight ok?" He asked
" ok Alex.. I love you too" i said
" bye love you" he said hanging up i sighed
I missed him i needed him he was my rock and without him id be nothing. I looked up at the sky whipping the tears
" oh Andrew.. I wont see you today.. Sorry big bro Alex wont let me" i said before my phone went off
Zack: your too beautiful to end your life sweetie.. I love you
Rian: please stay safe itll all be alright.. Miss you and i love you
Jack: yo you end your life ill be right by ya CUZ I NEED YOU BABY! Love you lil sis stay safe while i get mobbed by girls.. Love u<33333
Alex: ill call after.. Dedidicating therapy to you.. Please stay safe ik its rough i wish i could just hug u n tell u id be alright but i cant but.. I love you little cutie <3 be safe love you soooo much
I smiled breathing..not tonight i thought as i walked towards the road to my two hour walk home . I plugged in music hearing therapy and i smiled thinking of Alex i missed him .i got home within 1 1/2 not saying anything just walking to me room
" i swear if u cut yourself again your grounded!" My mom called i stopped
" OO SCARED OF ME EMBARRASSING YOU?!" I screamed
" its for attention!" She called
" NO ITS NOT YOU DONT GET IT MOM ITS NOT A PHASE NOT A ACT OK!" I screamed slamming my door tears streaming
I saw twitter
@AlexATL: get ready new york! Julia this ones for you baby girl<3 love you lil sis please stay safe
I smiled texting him
" kill it big bro.. I need you.. Love you"
I laid on my bed putting music in my ears slowly feeling sleep envelope me . I realized i almost took my life but Alex stopped me.. I want him .. Im proud of him but i want my big brother back
Let me introduce myself. Im julia Gaskarth. Im 16 almost 17 in april and yes Alex from All time low's little sister. I live in Baltimore with my parents and i know they love me but they don't support me they know about my self harm but they think its a faze. The only people who help are Alex and his band mates who are like my brothers. They have been away a year now and all i need is to just talk but i cant and after tonight.. I need to .
I leaned forward getting closer as my phone rang the wind wipping my fave. I pulled it out and saw Alex's ID i quickly answered it
" H-hello" i choked out hearing screaming and girls
" Julia.. Oh thank god.. Sorry i missed your call was getting dressed and mom called.. Where are you?" He asked
" Alex.. I-i cant do this anymore" i got out crying
" julia no.. Where are you ?" He sounded sad and scared
" duxbury bridge.." I said
" no.. Julia no please whats wrong please dont." He said and the room went silent
" she ok man?" Jack asked
" T-they all hate me Alex!" I got out sobbing
" who does cutie?" He asked
" everyone at school! They all do!" I cried
" James never liked me i was a dare so he could find out everything out and today at lunch him n gen made out and held me telling my secret! Thrn mom yelled at me for leaving school and we got in a fight and i cant take it anymore" i cried he sighed
" hun, im so sorry but fuck them hear me FUCK THEM!" He screamed
" FUCK EM IN THE ASS" jack screamed causing a small smile
" they dont matter listen to me ok listen, your different thats a good thing they dont get it but see their all the same. Nit something to be proud of and mum.. Shes mom she's sometimes a pain but listen . I love you and you mean so much to me do you hear me loud and clear lil j?" He said i giggled
" that's what i like to hear" he said smiling i bet
" i miss you" i got out
" i miss you too baby girl. So much it hurts." He got out a tear fell
" do me a favor right now do as i tell u" he said
" ok" i got out
" step back like five steps" he said i obeyed now on the wood
" turn towards the beach" he said i obeyed
The sun setting made it beautiful
" pretty?" He asked
" yeah.." I got out
When i was 6 and he was 16 he would walk me down here holding my hand and we would look at the ocean.. I felt a tear as he laughed alil
" now take a pic n send it to me" he said
I did using my camera on my iphone and sent it
" wow.. Beautiful" he said i smiled hearing jack scream
" AHHH THREE MINUTES ALEX " he screamed i laughed
" LOVE U JULIA MISD UR UGLY FACE" he called
" LOVE U JACK" i said
" im sorry i have to go kid, please lay on the beach or go home but dont end it.. I cant lose my baby sister.. I-i cant lose another sibling ok? Hold your head high sweetie ill call you later and maybe sing if your lucky.. Stay safe ok?" He asked
" i will Alex.. Thank you Ale" i said he chuckled
" no prob ju ju" i smirked
" go live your life rockstar " i muttered
" i love you so much please .. No hurting yourself ill get you threw this tonight ok?" He asked
" ok Alex.. I love you too" i said
" bye love you" he said hanging up i sighed
I missed him i needed him he was my rock and without him id be nothing. I looked up at the sky whipping the tears
" oh Andrew.. I wont see you today.. Sorry big bro Alex wont let me" i said before my phone went off
Zack: your too beautiful to end your life sweetie.. I love you
Rian: please stay safe itll all be alright.. Miss you and i love you
Jack: yo you end your life ill be right by ya CUZ I NEED YOU BABY! Love you lil sis stay safe while i get mobbed by girls.. Love u<33333
Alex: ill call after.. Dedidicating therapy to you.. Please stay safe ik its rough i wish i could just hug u n tell u id be alright but i cant but.. I love you little cutie <3 be safe love you soooo much
I smiled breathing..not tonight i thought as i walked towards the road to my two hour walk home . I plugged in music hearing therapy and i smiled thinking of Alex i missed him .i got home within 1 1/2 not saying anything just walking to me room
" i swear if u cut yourself again your grounded!" My mom called i stopped
" OO SCARED OF ME EMBARRASSING YOU?!" I screamed
" its for attention!" She called
" NO ITS NOT YOU DONT GET IT MOM ITS NOT A PHASE NOT A ACT OK!" I screamed slamming my door tears streaming
I saw twitter
@AlexATL: get ready new york! Julia this ones for you baby girl<3 love you lil sis please stay safe
I smiled texting him
" kill it big bro.. I need you.. Love you"
I laid on my bed putting music in my ears slowly feeling sleep envelope me . I realized i almost took my life but Alex stopped me.. I want him .. Im proud of him but i want my big brother back
10/3/13