Thrive - Side 2

Today’s Abby’s first appointment and I have the displeasure of not being there with her which frustrates me immensely since I cannot do anything about it; I can only wait for a phone call to see how it went. My phone rung before noon and I picked it up after just a couple of rings.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“How’d your appointment go?”

“Well, I know for sure that I’m pregnant...” she said, drawing it out.

“And?”

“I’m six weeks along and there’s a heartbeat.”

Her voice cracked as she said the latter.

“There’s a heartbeat.” I echoed.

I sniffled then saw Abby tear up.

“Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“You okay?”

“It was real before, but now it’s truly real and I'm not there."

"But you will be in a month or so. Time will fly. That's what I keep telling myself."

"I know. This is tougher than I thought it'd be." I said as my voice began to crack.

I was about to cry. I hate crying in front equally as much as hates crying in front of me which I’ve said before and that’s redundant, but I can’t help but repeat myself; it sucks.

"I agree and I don't like it anymore than you do."

I want to hug and kiss her so badly right now.

"You know. For once, I'm glad not to be on FaceTime since you're still probably with Miranda. That sounds terrible. I apologize."

"Don't apologize. I get ya."

"Hell, as much as I hate crying in front of you, I'd rather only you see me cry. Not anyone else."

"I love you, Alex."

"I love you, too, Abby."

We talked for a couple of more minutes before she let me go. I opened up my camera to see how I looked and noticed that my cheeks were tearstained and my eyes were still watery. I wiped my eyes and sighed. Here was another moment that I missed, one that I hated missing and I should’ve been there for. I managed to get another two hours of sleep as my schedule was pleasantly disturbed which was a relief, seeing as today was going to be a busy one.

“Alex? You up?” I overheard.

It was Jack, the other father-to-be.

“Yeah?” I yawned, moving the curtain of my bunk.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

I rubbed my eyes in an attempt to wake up.

“Abby have her appointment yet?”

“Yeah. A few hours ago. Miranda went there with her in my place.”

“How’d it go?”

“Great. She found out she was six weeks along and was able to hear the heartbeat for the first time.”

I was smiling from ear-to-ear.

“There’s nothing like that first appointment. I still can’t believe Miranda thought I’d leave her after telling me she was pregnant following her first appointment.”

“I can’t either, same with Abby. We thought that it would crazy if you broke up with her because of that. It’s clear how much you two love each other.”

“You seriously couldn’t have picked a better person to spend the rest of your life with. She’s almost more awesome than you.”

I laughed.

“Thanks, Jack. That means a lot, bud.”

“Anytime, Alex. Anytime.”

The rest of my day may have been great, but nothing was going to ever match up to the news I received of Abby and I’s future child, not even the show we played.

I know that you're likely exhausted and about to head to bed, so I'm just gonna leave you this message. As awesome as our concert was tonight, hearing that you’re six weeks along and that there’s a heartbeat was the absolute best part of my day. You already know how much I hate not being there, not being part of these amazing moments that have already happened and vice versa. It truly does pain me as much as it pains you with me not being there next to you like I should be, but you’re probably handling this like the strong woman and person I know that you are; you always have been way better than me. I don’t think I’ve ever known myself to be nearly as strong as you and I have a feeling you’re not gonna believe it, but it’s true. I mean it with all my heart and my entire soul. I love you so much and am dreaming of the day I am able to hold you once again. I miss you so fucking much.

Sweet dreams, Abby, the love of my life.
xo Alex

I sent that message just minutes after our concert ended with tears by the time I hit send. As goofy as I can be, it’s amazing what one person can do to you and your emotions run wild which is exactly what Abby does. I’ve never met anyone like her before and I never will again; it’s as simple as that.

You have no idea how much that message means to me. I needed that and you’re not gonna like this, but it made me cry; it was that beautiful. That makes me miss you more than I already do. I cannot wait to see you and have you all to myself. I love you more than you’ll ever know.

Have a wonderful day, Alex!
Abby

I woke up and found a heartfelt message on my phone which was sent when she woke up only a few hours ago. I smiled and was a little teary. She is seriously too much, but I honestly don’t know what I’d do without her.

Notes