Living Life to the Fullest

I woke up the next day tired but eager to start my day. When I walked into Everly’s nursery, she was gone which immediately caused me to panic.

“Evie?”

I was really hoping to hear the pitter-patter of small feet.

“Good morning, Zoey!” I heard once I reached the bottom of the stairs.

She was in the kitchen making breakfast while my daughter was in her highchair.

“Morning. She eat?”

“Yep.”

I smiled and picked her up.

“Good morning, Everly!”

She giggled then I kissed her cheek.

“Mommy missed you last night.”

“How was your night?” Vera asked.

“Amazing. We bumped into Nolan.”

“Really? How is he?”

“He’s still living in Colorado and was so happy to see me.”

“Did you mention Ricky?”

“On the way there. I just had to. I was talking about how I couldn't get him emotional..."

I went on the story and eventually got to his sweet reaction.

"You couldn't get a better reaction than that."

"Definitely and Ricky's name came up again which Zack was still fine with." I said, smiling.

"Please tell something big happened. I imagined the music last night was awesome, but..."

"I kissed him after the main band played a cover of The Starting Line's Best of Me. I totally caught him by surprise because he didn't kiss right back."

"Oh my God! Does he taste as yummy as I think he does?"

I laughed.

"Absolutely... so much that we kissed again when he dropped me off."

"When you gonna see him again?"

"Maybe today. He asked if I would mind him coming over to the greenhouse. Of course, I said that I didn't mind."

"Girl, you are smitten. You think you're ready for him to meet Everly?"

"I don't know. This is still new and I really like Zack, but... it's weird."

"Why's it weird?"

"If things keep going the way they're going, he will and Ricky never will." I sighed.

"Well, all I can say is that Ricky would be okay with it; he'd be happy that such a great guy would be in Evie's life."

I nodded.

"Yeah. You're right. Hey, I'm gonna go get ready for work."

"Ok." she said taking my sunshine from me.

I was eager to get to work as I drove with my daughter to my greenhouse. The morning went by so fast, but come one o’clock, things were slowing down and I still hadn’t seen or heard from Zack.

“Hey, Zoey.” I heard.

I was coming out of the backroom when I saw the source of the voice; it was Zack. I instantly lit up the second I saw him.

“Hey. You came.”

“I did. I really wanted to see you again.”

I walked toward him and pulled his lips to mine once he wrapped his arms around me.

“So did I.”

He smiled and kissed me one more time before letting me go.

“Glad to hear that. How’s your day been?”

“Busy but good. Things are a bit slow right now. How about you?”

“Okay. Couldn’t wait to come see you. I have a question."

"And what is it?"

He opened his mouth to answer when I heard a customer ask for help.

"Could you watch Everly for a moment?"

Did I really just ask that?

Well, Zoey, she's sleeping and you're not gonna be long.

He nodded and sat in my chair. I must've spoken for maybe five minutes when I walked back.

"She still sleeping?"

"Yeah. Out like a light."

I kneeled and kissed her cheek.

“Hey. I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“I know things are moving fast, but I was hoping I could make us dinner tonight. You interested?”

“I’d love that. What time?”

“Six-thirty?”

“Sounds perfect.”

I smiled and hugged him.

“I’ll see you, then.” I said.

“See ya soon, Zoey.”

He left and I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face; I couldn’t do it for the rest of the workday, actually. When I got home and was settled, I fed Everly dinner then focused on what to do with the framed photo of Ricky and me in my living room; he was the love of my life, but he’s gone and I know something’s there with Zack. I eventually decided to let it be.

Food-wise, I finally figured out what I was going to make Zack and me for dinner. The smell of garlic pleasantly infiltrated my nostrils and I hoped the same would happen with him.

Wait a minute... is garlic gonna be too much? I know I’m gonna want to kiss him tonight. Fuck. Well, it’s too late now.

I was stirring the pasta when I heard him knock on the door. I sat my wooden spoon aside and went to let him in.

“Hey. Looking good.” I greeted.

“Thank you, Gorgeous.”

He shut the door and walked into my living room.

“What smells so good?”

“Garlic butter white wine shrimp linguine.”

“Well, my mouth is watering.”

"It's almost done. Please make yourself at home."

"Ok." he said with a smile.

I headed back to the kitchen and checked the sauce one last time before I got out plates and silverware. I filled our plates and carried them out and called out to Zack who was looking at the framed photo of Ricky and me that I chose to not put away; I didn't know what to say if there was anything to be said.

"Dinner's ready." I said with a small smile.

He looked up.

"Need any help?"

"No thanks. I'm good. Just follow me to the dining room."

I was feeling awkward which is something I desperately hoped to be avoided. He followed me and I set our plates down.

“Wine sound good?”

“Absolutely.”

I poured each of us a glass; I didn't know if he needed it, but I surely did.

“This is delicious.”

“Thank you. First time making it actually.” I said after taking a bite.

I wonder if Ricky would’ve liked this...

Of course he would have. He loved everything you cooked.

“Is something bothering you?” he asked.

“No. Why would you think that?”

I wouldn’t look up at him.

“First of all, you seem off, and two, you’re avoiding looking at me.”

“I saw you look at that photo of me and Ricky... I didn’t know what to think of that. Obviously, I still don’t.”

“I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable."

"It's okay. I did leave it out after all."

"It’s not okay. I should’ve minded my own business. This is your home after all.”

“Well, I certainly appreciate that.”

I happily sighed and took a sip on my wine.

“Anyway, how’d the rest of your day go?” he asked.

“Great. It went by fast. How about you?”

“Good, but I was impatient about tonight.”

I smiled.

“So was I.”

He smiled as well. Once we ate, I was full and wanting to chill on the couch.

“How you feeling?” he asked.

“Like I ate a cow.”

“No dessert then.”

I forgot that I made cherry cobbler.

“Unfortunately, no. Maybe later.”

“Maybe later. Want help cleaning up?”

“No. I got it.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. I’ll meet you in the living room.”

Five minutes passed when I was done cleaning up and was soon back in the living room where Zack was sitting on the couch.

“Hey, there, stranger.” I said, plopping down beside him.

“Hey. What are you up for watching?”

“You can make this decision.”

“Why?”

“I chose for our last date to watch a few bands play. It’s your turn.”

“Anything. Whatever your heart desires.” I said dramatically.

“You’re what my heart desires.”

I blushed.

“No. Be serious.”

I looked at him and felt my heart race; he was serious.

“You are serious.”

He didn’t say anything, so I decided to crawl into his lap and kiss him. He pulled me closer as he wound his arms around me; I felt such a sense of security that I hadn't felt in the past couple of years, not to mention I was hungry again. As his hands went lower and landed on my ass, I redirected them, placing them on my back again. His tongue begged for entrance and more than willingly, I let him in. We must’ve made out for three minutes when we finally came back up for air.

“Fuck. You’re amazing.” he said.

“Thank you.”

I was clearly flattered.

“You’re not half bad yourself.”

He laughed and kissed me one more time. I climbed out of his lap and leaned against him, placing my head on his shoulder; his arm wrapped around my waist after he chose something. By the end of the comedy, I heard Everly crying, so I unraveled from Zack.

“Sorry. I need to see what’s wrong. I’ll be back.”

“Ok.”

I stood up and dashed up the steps and into her nursery. She was standing in her crib which worried me.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?”

She cried even more. I picked her up and she buried her face into my neck.

“Zack.”

She picks up on things quickly, but when has she heard me say his name? Oh, I said it today, but it was only once.

“What about him?”

“He new Daddy?” she said between sobs.

This broke my heart.

“No. There’s only one Daddy, Evie.” I said, drying her tears.

“He not here.”

“Of course he’s here. You just can’t see him and he loves you. He loves us more than anything.”

The tears soon stopped and she calmed down.

“You okay, now, baby girl?”

She nodded.

“That’s my girl. I love you.” I said, kissing the top of her head.

I laid her down and covered her up with a blanket.

“Goodnight, sweetie.”

I sighed and wiped the tears that had stained my face; Zack didn’t need to see me like this.

“Is everything okay?” he asked as I reached the bottom of the steps.

That’s a heavy question.

“Everly thinks you’re replacing her father. She even said your name.” I said, rubbing my eyes.

I walked over and sat down on the couch beside him.

“What’d you tell her?”

“That he’s here and loves us more than anything. She seemed to calm down enough that I was able to get her back to sleep.”

I sighed and leaned against him.

“I hope she understands.” I said.

“I’m sure she does.”

He wrapped an arm around my waist and I shut my eyes.

”Does Mom have a name?” the nurse asked just a few minutes I gave birth to my daughter.

“Everly Clara Gerber.” I said with a smile and tears in my eyes.

I hate that I was never able to discuss baby names with her father, that he was never there for any ultrasound and he never found out we were having a girl.

“She’s perfect.” I said as she was placed in my arms.

I caressed her cheek and she looked up into my eyes; I instantly fell in love.

“Hi, Everly. I’m your mommy.”

She cooed and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Wanna meet your Grandma?”

My mom stayed with me throughout the whole thirteen hours I was in labor. I handed Everly to her and she smiled.

“Well, aren’t you the most precious thing in the world?”

Her father was supposed to be the second person to hold her... not my mom; the other love of my life was supposed to be that person. Since that day, I would always show her that pic, so she would know that she had a father... a father who would always be there for her in spirit.

I woke up with teary eyes and a blanket covering me; there was no Zack in sight. I hadn’t had that dream in months which made me wonder why that happened tonight.

“Zack? You still here?” I asked lifting my head.

I heard footsteps coming toward me.

“I’m here.”

I smiled.

“How long have I been asleep?”

"For the past hour or so."

"Sorry. I didn't realize I was that tired."

"That's okay- wait, are you crying?"

I wiped my eyes and looked away, knowing how embarrassed I was.

"I had a dream about the day Everly was born, and obviously, how I was feeling about her dad."

"Who was there with you that day?"

"My mom. My parents and Vera have been there ever since he died. I'm eternally grateful for them." I said, sitting up.

Zack smiled and sat next to me, pulling me close and kissing my cheek.

“You want me to go?”

“Of course not. However, how about you stay for some of that cobbler I made earlier?”

“Sounds delicious.”

I smiled and we headed to the kitchen for some dessert. After eating, Zack decided to leave seeing how tired I was, but I was okay with that because I’m not ready for him to stay the night. I had a feeling though that I will soon.

Notes