Infinity

Time passed faster than I would've liked and it was time for my two favorite people to head to California to start working on the new album and I'm simply not ready. Zack drove us all to the airport and I would be driving his jeep back to our home after they board their flight. I sat between them while we waited and I couldn’t help but feel sad. I tried my best to not let that feeling show, but I should’ve known they could always see right through me.

“Jessie.” I overheard from Alex.

I was in a daze as their flight was called; Zack repeated my name.

“Yeah.”

“We gotta go.”

“I know.”

We all stood up and I wrapped my arms tightly around Zack, burying my head into his neck.

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.” he said, kissing me.

I turned around when I felt Alex’s hand on my shoulder; I did the same with him. I hated that I had to let either one of them go for the time that they were gonna be gone.

“Let me know when you guys land. Okay?”

“Of course.” Alex said.

“Let us know when you get home.” Zack said.

“Okay.”

I smiled and hugged them once more before I let them go. I didn’t leave until I couldn’t see them any longer.

Once I stepped out of the airport, I didn’t know what I wanted to do next besides leave. After sitting in the jeep for twenty minutes, I started the vehicle and pulled out of the parking lot. I found myself driving back home which is something I wasn’t expecting to do. After taking off my shoes, I walked upstairs, texted them and laid on the bed just thinking about what to do.

“I fucking hate this.”

Our dogs jumped onto the bed and laid beside me. I smiled as they licked my face.

“I miss them too, boys.”

After being in a relationship with Alex and Zack for three months, I was ready to tell my parents, but obviously, I was nervous seeing as I was in a polyamorous relationship with two men. I had always been in a traditional relationship and this was new territory; I was afraid that they were going to judge me for the easiest decision I have ever made. I called my parents on FaceTime just by myself to ease them into this if they accept this relationship.

“Hi honey.” my mom said.

“Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.”

“Hey, Jessie.”

“So, you have news for us.”

My heart was beating a million miles a minute.

“I do. I definitely do.”

“Are you pregnant?” my mom asked.

“Why would you go straight to that?” I asked confusedly.

“Well, you got both of us on the phone. That is just the kind of news I thought of.”

I sighed. What normal person would even think of that?

“No. Definitely not. I’m nowhere near ready for that.”

Who knows if I ever will? I’m polyamorous. How would that even work?

“What is it, then?”

I spent so much time trying to figure out how to say this that I’m not surprised my head is spinning, but I am certainly nauseous.

“Just let me say this. This is something I never expected, but I’m in a relationship with two people.”

“Wait, what? That’s a thing? How’s that even possible?”

“It is possible and it’s called polyamory. You can look it up."

"How long has this 'relationship' been going on?"

"Three months. I was friends with them over a month beforehand."

My parents still looked incredulous.

"How'd this even start? Were they-"

"Yes. They were already together. They're the two most amazing people I've ever met."

"That's insane, Jessie. You're with two people who were already in a relationship. You were never into just one person who wasn't either one of them while you three were friends?”

I was on the verge of tears, but I somehow managed to keep it together.

"No. I developed feelings for both of them. I can't help but feel the way I do. They make me feel happy, special and protected."

"Do you love them?"

"I'm not at that point yet, but I'm sure I will.”

"I just don't believe it. You've dreamed about getting married and having kids. You know, you can't get married and how about having kids? How would that even work?"

"I understand, but I can't imagine a world without them. Alex and Zack mean the world to me."

"I don't approve because that can't possibly be real. Sorry, honey." my dad said.

Tears started to spill down my cheeks.

"Yeah. Sure. You know, if you truly love me, you would accept me and this choice I made. This is the most real thing I've ever had in my life."

"I don't approve either. Sorry."

"Fuck you both. Bye."

I hung up before they could say another hurtful word. I tossed my phone across the bedroom floor and screamed into my pillow before I began sobbing into it. My parents who have always been there for me, supported and loved me can't accept this beautiful relationship I have with Alex and Zack which is the healthiest one I've ever had I might add; it's baffling. I really wanted my mom and dad to meet them, but of course, the likelihood is slim to none. I heard the sound of my name being called followed by that person rushing in when I didn't answer him.

"Jessie? Jessie, what's wrong?" Zack asked, pulling me into his lap.

I was too upset to answer him; I just kept my face buried into his shoulder and continued to cry.

"Will you tell us what's wrong?" Alex said, touching my arm.

"My parents." I mumbled.

"What about your parents?"

I went silent again.

"Just talk to us, babe." Zack coaxed.

I moved my head so they could see my face which probably included bloodshot eyes.

"Hey." Alex smiled.

"They don't understand this whole relationship. No matter how I much explained it to them, it didn't matter. Even when I told them that if they truly loved me, they'd accept me, this choice and the fact that it was the most real thing I've ever had, they said that they don't approve. I said to them, fuck you both and hung up."

"I don’t know why they can’t wrap their heads around it. It’s a real thing.” Zack said.

“It was almost like talking to a brick wall. You know after my mom mentioned I had news and I agreed? She immediately asked if I was pregnant like it was normal. She talked about the whole marriage and kids thing. My head is spinning, you guys.”

“Your happiness should matter the most. Fuck that other stuff.” Alex said angrily.

“Let’s all sit.”

I was sandwiched between them now.

“If they never accept, then that’s their loss. I don’t wanna lose them, but this is just how life is for me and I love it; I can’t even imagine losing either one of you.”

I woke up a couple of hours later, not believing the dream I had. I haven’t spoken to them since that day and I refuse to; they tried to text to get a hold of me maybe six times since then, but that’s it. The calls from my parents ended about fourteen months ago, and I’m glad. On the other hand, Alex’s and Zack’s parents welcomed me with my open arms which had me over-emotional; they accepted Alex and Zack as a couple and when I entered the picture, they understood completely. I am so thankful for their parents because Lord knows how much mine suck.

“Let’s go downstairs, boys. I’m hungry.”

After taking a quick pee break, I went down to the kitchen to find myself something to eat. I settled on leftover curry and water then I sat down in the living room and turned on Netflix. Baz and Peyton just laid on the floor in front of me. When I was done, I washed my bowl and looked for what I needed to take them for a walk.

“Wanna go for a walk?”

I couldn’t have seen a more enthusiastic reaction from them. That walk was exactly what I needed since the morning sucked and also ended up being the highlight of my day aside from a cute text from my men.

Made it here safe and sound. We love you and miss you, already! Hope you have a great day!

They sent a photo with it which had them blowing kisses.

Fuck. I love them.

Notes