A New Beginning

I am mere minutes away from leaving and although I am about ready to leave, I am not ready emotionally. I might be okay on the way there, but I know the second I pull in front of my childhood home, I am going to start crying.

"Harper?" I heard from down the hall.

I was sitting on the couch with my suitcase and purse in tow.

"Ready to go?"

"I'm gonna have to be."

"I can drive if you'd like."

I was glad that she could pick up on how I was feeling without even asking me.

"No. I'll be fine. Thanks for the offer, though. You ready?"

"Yeah." she sighed.

I could tell how she was feeling as well; we're so in sync as we have been nearly our entire lives. She locked the door as I began wheeling my suitcase on the sidewalk toward my car. I texted Alex that we were about to leave as I heard Iris get into the car. Once she buckled her seatbelt, off we went. Instead of just texting that we were at his apartment, I got out of the car to knock on his front door. I smiled as I saw him open the door; he hugged me instantly and I almost melted into him.

"Good morning." he said.

"Good morning." I said, going in for a kiss.

He returned my kiss.

"How are you?"

"That's a loaded question. Okay, I guess. I'm gonna break down when I get home, though."

"That's to be expected. You'll be fine."

"I hope so. Anyway, you ready?"

"Yeah."

He grabbed his suitcase and soon, we were at my car and I noticed that Iris had moved to the backseat.

"Hey Iris." he said, getting into the passenger seat.

"Hey, Alex."

"You know that you didn't have to get into the backseat. I would've been perfectly fine sitting in the back."

"I figured you'd enjoy sitting next to Harper."

He looked over at me and smiled; I smiled and felt like a teenage girl with her first boyfriend. He leaned over and kissed me. The drive was full of great conversation and laughter, but the second we pulled into my old neighborhood, I was overcome with sadness; it was even worse when we pulled in front of where I grew up. Alex squeezed my hand as he noticed the look on my face as I was frozen.

“Harper. What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I can’t do this.”

“Har, look at me. Please.”

I did.

“You can do this. I know this in my heart.”

I gave him a weak smile and nodded. We soon got out of my car and grabbed our belongings. Walking up to the front door, my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. My mom answered the door within a few seconds of me ringing the doorbell. She smiled and embraced me rather tightly; I didn’t mind though.

“Harper.”

“Hey, Mom.” I said with tears in my eyes.

“Please don’t start. You’re gonna get me going.”

I let out a light laugh.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

She then greeted Iris in the same way.

“And who’s this?”

Oh, how do I introduce him?

“Mom, this is my boyfriend, Alex. Alex, my mom.”

She looked shocked; I don’t know if this is going to turn out well for her or him. We’ve obviously never asked each other if we wanted it to be a full-blown relationship. I didn’t want to say he’s just my friend because that just wasn’t true and I didn’t want to say that he was a guy I was dating; the latter would’ve been the worst to be quite honest. You don’t bring a guy you’re dating to a funeral; that’s just messed up.

“Great to meet you, Alex.”

She only shook his hand. Fuck.

“You too, Mrs. Hennessy.”

We walked into the house and I immediately wanted to find out where my dad was.

“Harper! You’re here!” I heard as he walked into the living room.

He gave me the biggest hug.

“Hey, Dad.”

He could always make me smile.

“I missed you, baby girl.”

“I missed you, too.”

After he greeted my cousin, I noticed him giving Alex a look.

“Harper, who’s this stranger?”

“My boyfriend, Alex.”

“Didn’t you just file for divorce a month or so ago?”

I was hoping this wasn’t going to happen, but guess what, it is. I also really did not want to have this conversation in front of someone I care about deeply. I only wanted to be here for my family and say goodbye to Conner.

“People move on, Dad and this happened out of the blue. I wasn’t expecting this.”

“But, this isn’t the time or place for us to meet him. Your little brother’s viewing and funeral are coming up.”

Tears ran down my face and instead of saying anything, I turned to the right and wheeled my suitcase up the stairs with two of my favorite people in tow. I entered my bedroom and shut the door when Alex was inside. I threw myself onto the bed and began crying into my pillow just like the day I learned Conner died.

“Harper.”

He climbed onto my bed and pulled me sideways into his lap where he wrapped his arms around me and let me cry. I must’ve cried for a couple of minutes until I was able to speak.

“What gives him the right to say that? Especially in front of you. It’s bullshit.”

“It is and he has no right. I get where he’s coming from though.” he said, running a hand through my hair.

I then heard a knock on my door.

“Go away.” I said.

I didn’t care who it was. I wanted to be alone with Alex.

“Honey, can we talk?”

It was my mom.

“I said ‘go away.’”

“We need to talk.”

“Not in front of Alex.”

“Fair enough.”

I sighed and got out of his lap.

“I’ll be back.” I said before kissing him.

“Ok. Girlfriend.”

I smirked as he did. I opened the door and saw my mom on the other side.

“Where do you wanna talk?”

“Let’s go out back.”

On the way out, my mom found my dad and we headed outside.

“So, when did you meet him?” my dad asked.

“Less than two weeks ago. At a bar.”

“Less than- how could he possibly be your boyfriend already?”

“We have such a connection. I really like this guy. He makes me so happy and special.”

“And for the longest time, Kyle did. I think this is too quick. You were with him for six years.” my mom said.

“Just give him a chance. You know, he experienced what I’m going through. He understands.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that you were bringing him?”

“Well, I figured people would be talking about me anyway even though this isn’t about me, so I took a chance.”

Both of my parents gave each other a look that I could not read.

"How does Iris feel about this?"

"She's been all for it, since the beginning. She was there that night."

"He's the real deal, then." my dad said.

"100%. I haven't been this happy in months."

"Ok. We're gonna apologize to the poor guy. We were rude."

You can say that again.

"Can I go get him now?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Yes." my mom nodded.

I smiled and went into the house and to my bedroom where Alex was.

"Hi b-"

I interrupted him with a kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Everything went well, I assume?"

"Overall. Yes. They're also gonna apologize to you."

"They don't have to."

"Yes. They do. They could've been nicer."

"Before we go downstairs, what made you decide to introduce me as your boyfriend?"

"Calling you a friend wouldn't be correct, and if I said that you were a guy I was dating, that'd be inappropriate. Sorry if I took you by surprise."

"That was a great surprise. I was wanting to have that 'couple' discussion two days ago."

"You were?"

"I was. How about you?"

"Yeah, but after what happened before you came over, that was clearly out of the question."

"This couldn't have come at a worse time though."

"I'd know Carter would be happy about me moving on the way that I have and wouldn't mind the timing. All he ever wanted was for me to be happy."

“And you are?”

“The happiest I’ve ever been thanks to you.”

I smiled up at him. He smiled back and kissed me. I could've kissed him for an eternity, but I knew we had to go downstairs.

"I'd love for us to kiss longer, but we need to go."

He nodded and we left my room. We found my parents downstairs in the living room while Iris was in the kitchen.

“Mom? Dad?” I asked, holding Alex’s hand.

“Alex, we owe you an apology.” my dad said.

We sat down.

“Thank you, but you don’t-“

“Yes. We do. How we acted towards you was unacceptable.” my mom said.

“I understand why you acted the way you did though. Having someone you’ve never met come here is a shock.”

Alex is too much.

“It is, but Harper considers you such a great person and boyfriend, so we’re okay with you being here.”

“That’s great to hear. Thank you."

"So, since, you're a huge part of Harper's life now, I'd like to know what you do for a living."

My parents have absolutely no idea who All Time Low, so this should be interesting.

"I'm in a band, actually. We're called All Time Low."

"They are amazing, Aunt Heather and Uncle Jason!" Iris interjected.

I couldn't help but laugh at the look my parents' gave her.

"What? It's true. You need to check them out sometime."

"We'll get on that, Iris." my mom said.

"Anyway, where are you guys based out of?" my dad asked.

"Baltimore and that's where I reside when we're not touring or working on an album."

It was so weird having my parents meet Alex at such a sad time, but I was glad that they were meeting him, nonetheless. They ended up accepting him which was a relief and he also received the hugs he should've gotten earlier.

"Hey. We were about to head to lunch before we picking a casket for Conner. Would you like to come with us to the funeral home afterward?" my mom said.

"No. I don't think I can handle it. I'm sorry." I said shaking my head.

"Honey, that's okay. We understand."

I nodded.

"Give me a few minutes to pull myself together. Ok?"

"Of course."

I headed upstairs and looked at myself in the mirror of my adjoined bathroom. Alex came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"How are you?" he asked.

That was the second time he asked me that today.

"Okay. I guess. If I decided to step into that funeral home today, I already know that I would lose it. I really fucking hate this, Alex. I really do."

"Everything'll be fine."

I turned around and buried my face into his chest, but this time I didn't cry. I just needed a moment to breathe and not burst into tears; we began to sway and it made me feel better.

"Thank you." I said.

“For what?”

“I think you know what.”

I stood on my toes and kissed him. When we reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw Iris.

“Hey Harper. I was gonna head over to my parents’ for a bit. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Of course.”

I hugged her and she left, heading into a taxi. Alex and I got into the backseat of my parents’ car and we drove off to lunch. Lunch went great, but by the time I got home and into my bedroom, sadness overcame me like it did this morning.

On the way out the door, my mom asked if I wanted to say anything at the funeral. I obviously did, but I knew how difficult it would and that it would bring me to tears. I grabbed a notebook and a pen before lying on my stomach to write what I wanted to say about amazing and loving younger brother.

“Anything I can get you?” he said, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“No. I just need to think of what I’m gonna say about Conner. It should come easy, seeing as I’m an advice columnist, but there’s so much that I can say about him, I just don’t know how to word it.”

“I’m sure you’ll figure out what you wanna say. You give amazing advice to countless people. I know you’ll say amazing things about your brother.”

I smiled and began to write. I was going to have quite the time at the viewing and funeral.

Notes